I believe I have finally figured it out...what I want to do with my life, that is.
I want to be a wrestler.
The thought of it settles in me, and I feel some of the pressure in my chest relax. I take in a deep breath, something I don't think I've been able to do in years.
I've spent most of my life in a haze, especially since I graduated from high school. That was a day I used to always look forward to, but when it actually happened, I felt something I never thought I would have felt. I was depressed. I was lost. I was used to being a kid, and I for some reason felt like I would always be one, and I would never grow old. I guess everyone feels like that, to some extent.
I think I've just been going through the motions for the last two years, since I graduated. I am robotic; I eat, I sleep, I do work. My life's mechanic, and I'm doing what I was programmed to do. I work and work, until I die. Nothing excites me anymore.
Except for wrestling.
I'm not very good at committing; even in my personal life. It's one of my many flaws. However, I will pursue this dream of being a wrestler. It's one I've had for a long time now, but it's one I was too ashamed to admit. I may be petite, but I will not let that stop me. I know that when I tell people I want to be a wrestler, they will scoff. A few may even laugh. They will think about how I can't do it, and I will give up. I don't care what they think. I will not give up.
I'm going to prove them wrong.