God Help us, it's the ultimate Crossover…
Summary (As written by I.G): A very very AU story in which, Sweeney, Tobi, Mrs. Lovett, Erik, Christine, Gavroche, Enjolras and friends must deal with each other on a barricade. Slap fights, insulting nicknames, over use of said nicknames, concussion research, and drunken gun wielding children arise. A collaboration between Enjy-Glomper and Ignored Genius, thus said, we will be popping in and out of the story, merely explaining stuff or telling you general nonsense not unlike commercials that you've seen too many times, enjoy! Les Misérables, Phantom of the Opera and Sweeney Todd do not belong to either of us, try and sue us now, fat cats!!
I.G's Opening A/N: Good evening, madams and messieurs, I ask you to be kind about this atrocious fanfic, for I am only a humble aspiring (but also published) author, so I beg you be gentle in your reviews. Thank you very much, my lieblings, ((That's German for Darlings. Mon amours, ((That's French for my loves.)))
E.G's Opening A/N: Salut! W worked long and hard on this bit a fairly long time, so be gentle mes Amis! Also, after this, expect a sequel from me, Enjy-Glomper! This was brought to you by an endless box of Cheez-its and viewers like you, thank you. Kudos to I.G for thinking up the plot while I made it quirky, and generally more appealing, LONG LIVE E.G AND I.G!!
Both: BRAMBLEFOX BRAMBLEFOX BRAMBLEFOX BRAMBLEFOX YAAAY! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR FIXING OUR STORY SO IT WENT FROM CRAP TO GOLD!!! -*tackleglomp*- EVERYONE! NOTE!!! we are extremely sorry for the delay on the sequel but, note, it is not up yet, it will not be up until it is finished. So, I, I.G, will tell you when it comes up. Enjoy
The Misadventures of the Musicals
Sweeney Todd wasn't quite sure how he had ended up in Paris, France with his annoying neighbor and her even more annoying adoptive son. All he was quite sure of was that he wanted to get on the next ship back to London, for the judge could have come any day, and if he wasn't there he would lose him again. He sighed irritably from his seat across from Mrs. Lovett and Tobi at a dinky café; his fingers began to play with the silver handles of his beloved razors.
"What do you think Mr. T?" she asked plainly. Unfortunately for Sweeney, he hadn't listened to a word she had said since they sat down. She eyed him suspiciously. "You haven't been listening to me have you?" She seemed angry. Sweeney racked his brain for something to say that might pacify her but nothing came up, so he remained dutifully silent. She huffed and twirled her fork while Tobi looked steadily at his menu; as a poorly dressed young man with black hair walked by the table, Mrs. Lovett hailed him. "Sir, I think we're ready to order."
The young man looked hurt. "I don't work here. I'm not a waiter, I translate books, for God's sake!" he said sadly. Mrs. Lovett's gentle heart strings where pulled and she instantly pitied him. "Oh, I'm so sorry, dear, please, sit with us! You look starved to death!"
As he was about to protest she stood from her chair and shoved him into the seat between Tobi and Sweeney. "I'll have none of that! You're going to eat with us."
The young man looked dejected, "It's the clothes isn't it?" he said quietly, anxiously tugging at his cuffs beneath the tablecloth.
Mrs. Lovett looked at young man remorsefully, but, not wanting to tell him the truth, laid a hand gently on his shoulder and asked him, "What's your name, lad?"
"I'm sorry, that was rude of me, I'm Marius Pontmercy." She smiled. "I'm Mrs. Nellie Lovett, this is Tobias Ragg, Tobi for short, and this fine gentlemen is Mr. Sweeney Todd."
After a few minutes of pleasant conversation, and when the waiter finally arrived, they placed their orders. Mrs. Lovett had soup, Marius had bread and cheese, Tobi had oysters, and Sweeney had ice water. He sat there and listened half-heartedly to the conversation that drifted from fashion, to politics, fellows named "Enjolras" and his motley crew, and eventually back to Mrs. Lovett and him.
"So, M. Todd, how long have you known Madame?"
"Oh! Years, Marius, it's been years." Mrs. Lovett piped up,
"What year did you get married?" Sweeney, who at the moment was taking a drink of water, started to choke. He had not recovered fully but managed to yell, "MARRIED!?"
Marius nodded dumbly, "Yes, Tobi's your son isn't he?" Tobi, at that moment had been eating an oyster; he too, started to choke at the thought. The young man looked hurt as he watched the two cough. "I'm sorry, was it something I said?"
"Yes!" Tobi said hoarsely before gagging. Marius shrank and twiddled his thumbs. "I didn't mean to, honest, I was just curious, there's a girl in my life and I was hoping one of you could give me some advice on-"
"Ah, young lovers, so sweet, oh hang on a second, dearie." She got up and started clapping Tobi hard on the back. "C'mon, love, get it outta your system!"
"Here's some advice, dearie, leave a love note, it's fool proof! A poem, a teddy bear, or bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, something romantic!" she continued dreamily, pointedly looking at Sweeney, who (pointedly) ignored her.
Marius looked at his plate. "I don't have enough money for anything like that. I can barely afford this lunch."
"Can you afford a pen and a sheet of paper?" The young man nodded. "Then write the love letter, that'll get her attention." He looked up and smiled. "That'll work for sure!"
Marius fished into his pocket and pulled out his last three francs. "Thank you for your advice, Madame Lovett." He nodded gratefully while getting out of his chair. "And to you too, Monsieur Todd, even though I almost killed you and Tobi." He gave a lopsided grin and tipped his hat. "Until we meet again." And he left.
Tobi watched him go and cleared his throat. "What a weirdo."
Mrs. Lovett smacked his shoulder lightly. "He's not a weirdo! He's in love!"
Sweeney looked up and said gruffly. "He's a weirdo, Mrs. Lovett."
The baker pouted slightly. "Come now, Mr. T, you remember your love don't you?" Sweeney stared ahead blankly, obviously back in his mind, plotting his revenge.