My Night Mare
Every night I look up into the sky and see the same things over and over again. It's the same stars up in the same sky with the same moon and the same me. *Sigh* I do apologize for me rambling on about that. Things have never been the same for me ever since my father abandoned my mother and myself. You see, allow me to explain myself.
My name is Nocturne and I am a young alicorn by the age of six. My mother, Star Gazer, has taken care of me ever since my father left us when I was only a year old. I never really knew my father, but my mother told me that he was a wonderful colt. I hardly believe that because he left the most beautiful and caring mare I've ever known. My mother is an alicorn, much like myself. We belong to a very petite group of ponies in the world that has both Pegasus wings, a unicorns' horn, and the strength of an Earth pony. Most of the other alicorns are of royal decent, but my mother said that we aren't part of the royal ponies that house themselves in the city of Canterlot.
"We aren't worthy of ponies like them." Mom tells me.
"Why not?" I innocently ask.
"We just aren't like that," Mom chuckles, "we're both something more than they can ever be."
"What do you mean, Mommy?" I ask again, cocking my head towards the side a bit, wondering the complexity of the answer I had just received and waiting for the vast words of wisdom that I seek in the response again from my mother.
She smiles and kisses me on my forehead, sighing contently. "I'll tell you one day when you're older, but for now, let's enjoy the moon that Prince Concord has provided for us."
I look up towards my mother and smile at her greatly. "I love you, Mommy." I tell her as I rest my head along her wing, falling asleep fairly quickly with the feathers soothing a pain I've had in my head for a while.
I knew my mom loved me with all her heart. She is a very caring pony; it's such a shame that she and my father are no longer together. Mom tells me that Dad will come back to us one day, but I don't know when that day will be.
"Some day soon…" Mom sighs, slightly sobbing as I rested against her side.
I fall asleep quickly afterwards, as does my mom, as we rest soundly on the cloud that's currently overlooking the horizon in front of us. It was lovely and reminded me of my mother's beauty. She always tells me that on the other side are the dreams that await us all.
The next morning, I woke up to watch the sun rise over the horizon. Mom gently rubbed my back with her wing as we watched the horizon ahead of us. I smiled, thinking about all the possibilities that awaited us out there. I knew that somewhere out there was a life that suited us both better than the ones we had now. Now, we were just going day by day from one cloud to another, sharing our moments together as each cloud moved over new and busy cities.
"Mommy," I smiled, "why does every cloud we stay on move on its own, but not the other clouds that are around us?"
"It's a secret that goes far beyond my years, Nocty." Mom told me.
Mom was the only friend I need and the only friend I had really. When she called me "Nocty," I never minded it really. Today, as I looked down from the horizon to the ground below us, I saw that we were above a very large and bustling city. I wanted to fly down to the ground and stretch out my hooves, so I asked Mom if it was okay with her.
"Of course it is, my little Nocty," she smiled, embracing me with her wings, "just be careful and don't take too long, okay?"
"I promise, Mommy." I replied, hugging her back in response.
I received a kiss on the top of my head, behind my horn, as I departed from my mother for the time being. The reason I wanted to go down to the ground was partly because I wanted to stretch my hooves and work them out a bit, but because I wanted to get Mom something special for her. Her birthday was a couple of days away and I wanted to surprise her by getting her a necklace that has a deep blue - almost indigo - heart surrounding a smaller maroon colored heart. I had saved up enough bits to finally get it for her and I knew that she would love it when I surprised her with it on her birthday this coming Thursday.
I flew down to the ground and tucked away my wings. The ponies around me were all taller than I was and a majority of them were unicorns, although there were a few Earth ponies and Pegasi hidden in the crowd and in the air as well. I didn't want to attract too much attention to myself and so I hid my wings by my sides, using my magic to create a dark colored coat to put over my back.
Looking around, I saw that the nearest jewelry store was about a mile - a little over it - away on my right side. I carefully walked with the flow of the other ponies and found myself moving around in no time. I hid my bits away in my coat because this seemed like a sketchy area and I didn't want to get hurt or anything like that. Things like that have started to happen a lot more often lately. I'd like to think that maybe Solar and Satellite, the evil sister alicorns of this land before Prince Concord came to be, had something to do with it, but I'm not sure. Either way, with me being protective of the money I've earned and saved, I quickly made my way towards the jewelry store to buy a necklace for Mom. As I was walking along the sidewalk, I noticed that there was a pony who seemed to be having trouble moving a set of boxes from the back of a truck to the inside of a store. I offered my help and assistance, but apparently they didn't need it and politely declined my offer.
"No thanks, kid," he told me, lifting seven boxes at a time with magic. I smiled in response, knowing that at least I tried helping, then continued to mosey on down the sidewalk.
At the end of the block, I crossed the street. Pedestrians had the right of way, and so I crossed the street after looking both left and right and determining that it was safe to do so. The jewelry store was diagonally across from where I was, so I had to cross the street twice before getting to my destination. After I had crossed once, I waited until it was safe to cross the other way. Looking both left and right again, I crossed the main street and reached the jewelry store. Looking in the windows, I saw that this shop had the exact necklace I was looking for and for the price I could afford it at. I approached the door to the shop and was greeted by a strong looking Earth pony, who had opened the door and smiled at me.
"Good day, sir," he greeted, "how are you doing today?"
I smiled at the kindness that this pony was offering me. "I'm fine, thank you."
"May I help you with something?"
I nodded. "Yes, please." I pointed to the necklace that was on display in the window. "That necklace that's over there, is that one for sale?"
The Earth pony brought me over and carefully and gently pulled out the necklace. "This one?"
"Yes."
"This one is indeed for sale."
My smile brightened up upon hearing that and I could feel the smile stretch from cheek to cheek. "How much is it?" I wanted to make sure the price was affordable and truthful before actually purchasing it.
"This particular necklace is only one hundred and twenty-three bits." The Earth pony replied.
"Perfect!" I smiled, brightening up my already shining face some more. "And can I get this necklace gift wrapped?"
"Yes you can," the Earth pony continued, "and at no additional cost either."
"Excellent!"
"I presume that we'll be getting this, right?"
"Absolutely!" I answered back in a heartbeat.
The Earth pony smiled, then brought me over to the register. Ringing up exactly at one hundred and twenty-three bits, I paid for the necklace and watched as the pony gift wrapped it for me, placing it in a lovely little indigo colored box with maroon colored lining on the inside of it, matching the colors of the necklace perfectly and making it flow nicely while it was stored inside the little box. When the Earth pony was finished wrapping up the necklace, he put the box inside a small bag for me and handed it over to me very carefully.
"Here you go, sir," he smiled at me.
"Thank you very much," I responded, accepting the bag and carefully holding it with my magic. I took out four more bits and gave it to the Earth pony as a tip, beaming with delight in the process. "And thank you for wrapping this for me."
"You're quite welcome, sir," the pony acknowledged, smiling and accepting the tip I gave him, "have a wonderful day now and please do come again."
"Thank you," I responded, "and you have a wonderful day yourself!"
"Thank you." The pony smiled.
I turned around and stored the bag carefully in my coat. I didn't know a lot about this city I was in, so I wanted to be extra protective of Mom's new necklace. I pushed the door to the jewelry store out and started making my way back towards the cloud Mom and I called "home" for now. Carefully holding on to her present, I removed my wings through the open slots on my coat and started to take off into the sky towards the cloud Mom was on.
Trying to find Mom from the ground isn't that hard really. Since we are both ponies of the night - at least we used to be - her dark colored coat is easily noticeable from the ground. Mom is also special in the fact that she has a mane that is consistently flowing in the air, even though there is no breeze. She told me that she was born with her mane like that, whereas I was not. My mane stands still and does not flow in the wind like Mom's does and I'm fine with that. Mom's mane may flow in the wind, but my mane is fine with me. You see, my mane is a royal blue color, a color that I'm generally fond of. Mom's mane is a dark color - not entirely black, but close to it - and shows some sparkles as it flows in the wind. She likes her mane and has told me that she loves my mane just the way it is, as do I.
I finally reach back up to the cloud and come up behind Mom. She appears to be sleeping, so I try to sneak up on her and give her a hug from the back, but she has me fooled, like she always does.
"Got ya!" She calls, turning around swiftly and holding me with her front hooves.
"Heehee!" I giggle, enjoying Mom holding me in the air. "I almost got you, Mommy!"
"Almost!" She smiles back as she gently sets me down on the cloud next to her.
I decided to give Mom the necklace now before something happened to it while we were above this city. I wasn't scared or anything, but the cloud we were on had started to slow down bit by bit. Pulling out the box from my coat's pocket, I showed it to Mom and levitated it in front of her. She smiled, looking back at me with interest.
"What's that, Nocty?" She innocently asked me.
"I got you a birthday gift that I wanted to give you now," I answered back with just as much innocence in my voice, "I do hope you like it, Mommy."
She smiled as she began taking over the levitation of the box. Slowly opening it, I saw a tear of joy begin falling from her eye. I wiped it away myself, then wrapped my front hooves around her as she started taking out the necklace.
"Do you like it, Mommy?" I asked, already knowing that her answer would most likely be something along the lines of "yes, I do."
"It's beautiful, Nocturne," she quietly speaks to me, idolizing the necklace in every way. She turns to me and holds me tightly against her body. "I absolutely love it, Nocty…"
"I knew you would, Mommy." I responded, my voice a bit muffled from speaking directly into Mom's chest.
She puts it on, still idolizing every bit of it. "How did you get this?" She asked me. "Where do you get the money for it?"
"I saved up for it for the last year." I answered. "I wanted to surprise you with a very thoughtful gift this year for your birthday, so I saved up to get this."
"I love you, Nocty," Mom replied again, "thank you…this gift means a lot to me…"
"You're welcome, Mommy," I replied as Mom continued to hug me, me finally feeling the necklace run down the back of my neck. We stood like this for a few more minutes before going back to cloud gazing and pony watching the ponies on the ground. After a few moments of pony watching, I decided to break the silence between us both. "Mommy," I began, "why are we so different from everypony else?"
"What do you mean, Nocturne?" replied Mom.
"I mean how come we're alicorns?" I asked innocently. "Why are we alicorns when everypony else is either a Pegasus, unicorn, or Earth pony. What makes us so much more different than them? Why are we alicorns but they're not?"
"That's a question even I do no know the answer to, Nocturne," Mom answered, wrapping one of her elegant, feathered wings around me, "perhaps somewhere in this world, there is a purpose for us to fulfill, but we just haven't been given that opportunity just yet."
I smiled back at Mom as she kissed the top of my head passionately. I thought long and hard about the answer she told me and took those words as a piece of motivation to help us drive on in this so-called life. I know we deserved better, we deserved a lot better, but in this life, even though we may be alicorns, I know we have to work hard for anything we may want, even if that means we have to work ourselves to the ground. I fell asleep in Mom's loving wings, thinking about a perfect life that I hope to earn in the future with Mom and, possibly, with Dad as well.
"Have a good nap, my little Nocty," Mom soothingly whispered in my ear, kissing my forehead as I drifted on off into slumber.
I woke up several hours later and saw that the sun was starting to set for the day. I stretched out my wings and hooves and began looking around. One thing I noticed quickly was that Mom was nowhere to be seen! I was scared because Mom didn't tell me that she was leaving at all! I looked around in the sky first, checking from cloud to cloud, believing that maybe Mom was just flying through the air to stretch her wings out. When I failed to find her in the air, I tried checking the ground, but the only problem was that I was too far away to make out anything and it was a bit too dark on the ground as well.
"NOCTURNE!" A voice cried out. I recognized the voice to be Mom's voice and pinpointed the origin point of her voice: on the ground a few feet to the left of this cloud.
"Mommy!?" I answered, hoping to get a response.
"NOCTURNE!" Mom screeched louder. It sounded like she was in danger, so I flew down as quickly as possible to Mom to see what was wrong.
"I'm coming, Mommy!" I shouted back.
"NO, NOCTURNE!" Mom screamed in response. "WA-" Her voice was cut off without warning.
"Mom!?" I cried, slowing down a bit before picking up speed again. "MOM!?"
No answer. I felt tears begin falling from my eyes as the silence began sinking in. I free fell to the ground and located Mom in a heartbeat. She was collapsed on the sidewalk and some red stuff was surrounding around her body. She looked like she was sleeping, so I ran up to her and tried waking her up.
"Mom?" I asked quietly, shaking her body. "Come on, Mom…wake up."
There was no answer.
"Mom!" I called a bit louder, shaking her a bit more roughly too. "Wake up, Mom!"
Still, there was no answer.
"Mom!?" I nervously yelled, tears falling from my eyes, down the sides of my face, and onto Mom's body. "Mom!?"
Even still, there was no answer.
"MOM!" I sobbed, trying my best to save her. "WAKE UP, MOM!"
Finally, some ponies in white uniforms with a red plus sign on their hats and coats showed up. Two of them came to Mom's sides while a third one came to me and started hugging me, dragging me away from Mom as well.
"It's okay, son," he told me, "it's going to be okay. Everything's going to be alright."
I looked back to the two ponies and saw that they were doing something to Mom. I couldn't see what they were doing and wanted to know this very minute.
"What are they doing to my mommy?" I asked, a trace of panic sounding off in my voice.
"It's going to be okay." The pony hugging me told me, completely ignoring my question.
"What are they doing to my mommy!?" I asked again.
"They're helping out your mommy as best as they can," the pony replied.
"What's wrong with my mommy?" I cried. After I finished that, I felt a drop of water hit my muzzle. Looking up, I saw that some Pegasus ponies were bringing in some storm clouds.
The pony hugging me didn't answer my question. Rather, he started to tear up and simply hugged me harder. Some more drops of rain had begun falling from the sky onto us as I gazed back at Mom and the other ponies. One of them was shaking their head from side to side while the other one kept doing something to my mom. The rain strengthened to a downpour in a matter of seconds thereafter and the pony that was hugging me was holding me even tighter now. One of the ponies who was doing something to my mom came over and whispered:
"It's too late…there's nothing more we can do…" He turned to me next. "I'm sorry, little guy…your mom has gone to a better place…"
"But she's right there!" I pointed, denying what the other pony told me. I ran over to Mom and saw that the red stuff had expanded all around her. The ponies ran after me and held me back from trying to reach my mom.
"Mom!" I cried as rain fell along the sides of my face in unison with tears. "MOM!"
The two other ponies grabbed my mom and put her in the ambulance they had originally come in. The third and final pony had brought me over to the ambulance as well and helped me in, seating me right next to my mom, who was in a bed with wheels. By the power of the first two ponies, they had begun pulling us all away towards I'm guessing the nearby hospital. The third pony, who had taken a seat next to me and was holding me firmly, was telling me that everything was going to be alright with my mom, but as I looked over, I could tell that things were not.
When we had finally arrived at the hospital, all three ponies had rushed Mom inside and into a room that had a red plus sign similar to the ones they were wearing on their uniforms. I ran after them, but was stopped by a few more ponies holding me back.
"You can't go in there, kid!" One of them said, holding a grip on one of my wings.
"But my mommy's in there!" I protested.
"I'll need you to wait out here!" The other one said, getting a grip on my other wing, holding me back completely.
I wanted to protest some more and break free of their grasps and run to my mom, but these two ponies seemed much stronger than myself and struggling against them would prove to do nothing at all. They were already larger than I was and could - and have - hold me down from getting to Mom, so I had to stay outside while Mom was inside that room. I took a seat in a nearby chair while one of the other ponies sat down next to me, keeping me company.
"Everything will be alright," they told me, just like everypony else before her.
A few hours later, the ponies that took my mom inside the forbidden room had come back out. Their nice white uniforms were covered in stains of red and they were wearing some sort of face mask, covering their muzzles and their mouths. I looked over to them and noticed that they were coming over to me. The closer they got, the more scared I became, not because I felt uncomfortable, but because their appearance and their masks made me wonder what had happened to Mom. They reached me and looked down, staring at me straight in my eyes.
"Where's my mommy?" I asked.
"Son," the pony in the middle spoke, "your mommy…" He sighed heavily. "Your mommy has gone to a better place…"
"Where did she go?" I questioned.
"She…she went up into the city in the sky…" Another pony said.
"Cloudsdale?"
"No," the final pony told me, "she went up into heaven…"
"Where's that?"
"That's where ponies who…pass on go to stay." The final pony spoke again.
"Pass on?" I repeated. "What's that?"
"Your mommy has died." The first pony told me.
"Wh-what?" I stammered, unsure if what I had just heard was the truth.
Rather than repeating the horrible news just told to me, the three ponies gathered around and gave me a group hug as I wept away.
"I'm sorry," they all told me, although I knew that deep down, I was the one who should be sorry.
I shouldn't have fallen asleep; I shouldn't have! It's my fault Mom's gone! I wasn't there when she needed me and now she's gone…it's my fault…
"It's my fault…" I sobbed in the hooves of the three ponies who tried helping Mom out.
A week later, I stood by Mom's grave and watched as she was being buried into the ground. I cried so much as I saw Mom be lowered into the ground and realized that I would physically never see her again. The pony who meant the world to me was gone from my life forever.
"I love you, Mommy Star Gazer," I cried as she was lowered fully into the ground.
After the funeral had ended, I flew back up onto a cloud to go be alone. I was now an orphan with no home and now no parents to be comforted by. I was all alone living my life while the only pony I ever truly loved had just been buried into the ground, never to be seen ever again.
The news about my mom's death wasn't any better either. The ponies that had helped her - Doctor Free, Doctor Gomes, and Doctor Jones - told me that my mommy was fatally stabbed repeatedly in her chest. Apparently some ponies must have been jealous of Mommy's beauty and stabbed her…at least that's what I think. Or perhaps they confused her with somepony else…
All's done now, I guess, seeing how Mommy is gone now. I cry myself to sleep, knowing that I'll never get to feel the comfort of her beautiful, smooth wings anymore.
Days have passed since Mom's death. I have yet to fly down from this cloud and have not spoken to anypony else, nor seen anypony else for that matter. I am not in the mood to deal with anypony now; I just want to be alone.
After all, it's how I'll spend my life from now on…
Days have turned into weeks, into years. I am now a sixteen-year-old colt still living by myself on the same cloud I have been on since the day Mom has died. Nothing too extraordinary has happened in my life seeing how I have managed to refrain from direct contact with any other pony for the last ten years. Today is a different kind of day, though. Normally, I stay on my cloud and never go back down to the ground, not since what happened.
Today, however, I decided to visit the ground - primarily Mom's gravesite - and pay my respects personally. The cloud never left the city I was in on the day all of this catastrophe happened, which is unusual for a cloud to do, but I controlled the cloud and made sure it never left.
I arrived at the site of Mom's grave and laid down some flowers I had picked for her prior to me coming here. I remembered how Mom told me she always loved daisies, so I picked about a dozen of them and laid them to rest in front of her tombstone.
"Look, Mom," I spoke to her, "your little Nocty is almost all grown up now…" I began tearing up just a bit as I remembered the memories I had with Mom in my then-short life. "I do good, Mommy? Are you proud of who I am?"
I rested my head on the tombstone and cried out some more tears. I felt so lonely - no father growing up, no mother to comfort me after six years - and there was nothing I could do to prevent this all from happening. I continued speaking, even though my eyes were tightly shut and my head was on the tombstone.
"I do good, Mommy?" I cried. "Your big boy is almost grown up…I'm doing it, Mommy, are you watching?"
"I am," said another voice. I turned around and saw yet another alicorn in my presence. They were just about my height and looked exactly like I did.
"Do you mind?" I spoke, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I want to be alone with my Mom!"
"Nocturne-"
"How do you know my name?" I cut off. "Who are you?"
"Nocturne," the alicorn continued, "I knew your mother very well…she and I were very close friends at one point in our lives…very close friends."
"You didn't answer me," I responded, "who are you? How do you know my mother and how do you know who I am?"
"Nocturne," the alicorn continued, "your mother was a very special pony to me. We've had a lot of fun together over the years…I'm actually surprised to see you here…what are you doing here? Last time I saw you, you were only…never mind."
"I am paying my respects to my mother!" I screamed. I got up and started approaching the alicorn. "How dare you ask me something like that! I am trying to pay my respects to the pony I loved more than anypony else and you come in out of nowhere and ask me that!? How dare you! How fucking dare you! Get out of my face! Leave my mom's grave at once!" The alicorn looked me in my eyes and gave me a hug. I was fuming with anger and pushed them away. "Get off of me!"
"She taught you well, I see," the alicorn told me after being pushed from myself. "Has she ever told you who I was?"
"No!" I shouted. "And neither did you after I've asked a number of times!"
"Very well then," the alicorn chuckled, "allow me to introduce myself. I am Polare Is, an alicorn like yourself."
"Polare Is?" I questioned. "Like the star Polaris?"
"Exactly." Polare Is told me. "And your mother, Star Gazer, was the pony I loved just as much as you did. It's because of us that you're here today."
"'Us'?" I repeated. "You mean…?"
"Nocturne," Polare Is continued, resting a hoof on my shoulder, "I am your father."
"D-Dad?"
Polare Is nodded in reply.
"Why, Dad?" I asked, referring to why he left us. "Why did you abandon Mom and me?"
"I have my reasons and I'm sticking by them," Polare Is told me, but didn't exactly list his reasonings after that, which prompted me to question them.
"Which would be…?" I replied, desperately wanting to hear why he left Mom and I fifteen years ago.
"I knew that I was unfit to provide for you and for your mother," Polare Is told me, causing me to gasp slightly. He continued on. "I knew that if I stood around, you would have had a worse life than where you currently are, even if Star Gazer wasn't murdered. I left so I could learn how to be a better husband and father to the both of you. I told myself that I'll come back one day and face you both as a colt, but I can only fulfill half of that, seeing how your mom isn't with us anymore…" there was a slight pause before he continued again. "I left you because I loved you, and I still do. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you fifteen years ago?"
"…I grew up not knowing who my father was," I quietly answered, "I lived sixteen years without-"
"Fifteen years, son."
"Sixteen, cause I don't remember anything at age one," I pointed out before continuing on with my speech, "sixteen year without a father and ten without a mother. I can remember Mom as if she were still with us and I'm pretty sure I know more about her than you do. Sixteen years with no fatherly figure in my life. Sixteen years without calling anypony "Dad." Sixteen years without a male role model in my life. I didn't need you while growing up, I don't need you now." Dad looked heartbroken after I said that, but I wasn't finished just yet. I grabbed Dad with my hooves and embraced him with a hug. "That's just me, though, but Mom always knew that you would come back and so I cannot stay mad at you forever. I'm sure that as time passes, the emotional wounds will heal up and we can live our lives as father and son…besides, I'm sure that Mom would have wanted it that way…Dad."
"I-I don't know what…thank you…son."
"Nocty, Dad," I smiled, crying in Dad's hooves in front of Mom's grave, "I'm Mom's little Nocty…and now I'm yours as well…"
"I love you, Nocturne," Dad cried in my hooves.
"And I love you too, Dad," I replied as we hugged each other in front of Mom's grave. Somewhere up there, I knew that she was smiling down on us as she saw the two colts of her life reunite with each other and become a family once more.
"I love you."