When did it start? When did I start watching you? I don't know. Whenever I saw you, my chest felt incredibly painful. I knew that I do not want to suffer anymore. I thought, if I did my best, I would be satisfied, but this is wrong. You became stronger and stronger, while I stayed being the pitiful one. At that time I was not able to avert my eyes from you. I was fascinated by your doings. Suddenly I became aware that I could sit back and do nothing. I just did not want to be a failure anymore and your cheering encouraged me to do better.
I learned that there is a feeling that can be described as ambition. I AM someone after all! I cannot explain it well, but whenever I was watching you, my courage grew and I became bolder. I admired you, when you tried to realize your dreams, even though nobody believed in you. Your strength and my feeling for you grew equally.
You never noticed my love. You did not have to, because there things you have to do. I did not want to get too close to you, because I knew you loved someone else. I just wanted to give you the acceptance you need and I was happy when you watched me. I am used to cry and I gave up on lots of things, but you showed me the right way. Thanks to you I learned to go give up. My view and lifestyle changed. I became happier. The days I was allowed to be by your side saturated me with joy. Without noticing I was changing, you changed me! Your smile saved me! I will not be hesitant on giving you everything I have.
Now I am the strong-minded person I desired to be. I decide for myself I am not controlled anymore. On my side there is the man I deeply love.
I just wanted to say thank you and I love you.