Title: Vacant Land
Author: Keitorin (a.k.a. Chou ni Natte)
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: #12 at lj comm 1stfraseficlets.
Summary: Insanity takes over Naruto.
Notes: The challenge was to take the word RUMIA and use each letter in order in 5 paragraphs. I updated it because I came up with an idea on how to make the first part less "wtf" inducing once you understand what's going on.
Disclaimer: I don't claim to own Naruto, and I don't make any profit from writing fanfiction.
Written: May 02, 2005. Updated August 01, 2008.
Red was the color of many things. It was the color of Sakura's dress, the color of the horizon in the late afternoon, and the color of the blood running down his cheeks. It was also the color of a pair of eyes that haunted his waking dreams and nightmares. Red was the color of tomatoes all fresh at the market, and did you know that they were his favorite food? Roses are red but if I had to compare them to him, the roses would be black and tainted, and the thorns as sharp as a tack. Red lips smeared with blood opening and tossing words around like playthings.
Useless thoughts for a useless nobody, useless promises that die out and leave scars. Useless words said and you can't take them back. Nobody really cares anyway and even though you failed you tried anyway. You think it's okay to just go with it and worry about it later. Is it? These thoughts consume you as you search and search but you don't know if it's because you want to or what, but you do it, it drives you, and you won't stop until you collapse or succeed.
Maybe it's all right to lose sometimes, but not to him. He'd rather die alone then admit defeat. Maybe the world really is made of blood and thorns and regrets. Smiles are fun to wear though, so he does and it doesn't help but people seem to not be so uncomfortable. The way Sakura looks so sad but smiles anyway, so fake, makes him angry and he suddenly loathes himself more. Kyuubi's chuckles reverberate through him and he joins in, laughing hysterically and maybe it's a good thing you're alone here.
It's only a matter of time before insanity sets in and laughing becomes natural when you'd really rather cry. Only a matter of time before you don't think anyway, you just do and killing becomes necessary and smiles don't reach any part of your face. Maybe you won't care, and it's okay because you still bleed, you aren't invincible and hey, it proves you're alive. You're not like Gaara, you tell yourself. You'll bleed and fight but not kill like nothing matters but you. You're not that selfish.
As you breath air into your lungs and laugh some more, you think it's finally happened, you've snapped and there'll be no more smiles or reassurances because no one will like you and it's just so funny you have to laugh and laugh until you can't breathe and you gasp for air but it's too late, you're hit and there's no sink or swim. Only a weird haze that's red and maybe it's useless to think so much as you finally let go.
When Naruto next wakes, he's lying in a hospital bed surrounded by nurses and doctors. He can't move, and he feels restraints over his body.
A familiar face peers down at him from above.
"Tsunade-baachan?" He tries to say, but his throat is too tight and raw.
"Naruto." She begins with her own tightness, only it's in her eyes. "I know you're in pain and confused, but I need you to listen to me. You were given some kind of hallucinogen that seems to induce…unstableness. We found you out in the forest five days ago, and you were in a very bad condition. We knocked you out and brought you back here, where we've been working to get it out of your system."
Naruto doesn't remember any of that, but it was a good explanation for why he was strapped down, had a headache and his throat was raw from disuse.
"You managed to beat yourself (and the forest) up pretty good before we could get there, but with Kyuubi's help you've been able to regenerate most of the damage."
Tsunade reaches down and brushes some hair aside that slid down over his face.
Naruto only nods to let her know he's heard.
She turns to the side and grabs something from one of the nurses, and Naruto sees that it's a glass of water as she carefully brings it down to his lips, only allowing him to take small sips so he doesn't get sick from drinking too much at once.
When he's gotten his fill, she hands it over to the waiting nurse and continues.
"It's all out of your system now. I'm sorry about the restraints, but they were necessary to stop you from hurting yourself or anyone else. We should be taking them off in a few hours after a few more tests, and then you can get some non-hallucinogen induced dreams, instead of nightmares."
Naruto gives her a confused look at the last part.
"Every night, you've been racked with nightmares. You start screaming and thrashing around. The restraints were crucial to stop you."
'Oh', Naruto mouths.
"So just sit back and relax for a while, okay? It'll all be over soon."
Naruto nods after a moment, and carefully breathes through his nose.
As Tsunade walks over to converse with another doctor, a nurse comes up and nervously smiles at him. He's confused at first, until her hand nervously reaches up to do something with his I.V.
She's afraid to touch him.
Naruto tries to meet her eyes to give her a reassuring look despite his sadness (which he should be used to by now), but instead his eyes catch on a pin she's wearing on her nurse outfit.
There's something written on it, but Naruto doesn't notice what. He notices the background color though.
The background is filled in with blood red.
For some reason, a line comes in Naruto's head that he doesn't recognize himself ever thinking before.
Red is the color of many things.