Russian Roulette

The chair I sat in was hard and cold. It seeped through my clothes making my body stiff and numb. Terror reigned over my mind, my heart in my throat. My emotions that were always so carefully concealed were slipping slowly but surely from beneath my mask. I blinked my eyes rapidly to clear the blurriness of what I knew were tears, but I would not allow one to fall. Sweat was forming near my temples and above my brows. The man that sat before me, the man I knew, was L, known to me as Ryuuzaki. Hunched over as he was, his fast and calculating eyes were scrutinizing me under his relentless gaze, watching every move I made. His thumb twitched over his bottom lip.

"You need to calm yourself Raitio-kun. I am simply conducting a quick analysis and questioning. So, take a breath and clear your head."

Take a breath, take it deep

Calm yourself, he says to me

If you play, you play for keeps

Take a gun, and count to three

I'm sweating now, moving slow

No time to think, my turn to go

I was trying! My heart pounded furiously, so fast I was sure Ryuuzaki himself could see it through my chest. I told myself that this was a simple test, but somehow it felt as if more would come from this "simple questioning." If I could I would bolt from the room; however, the door was locked shut from the outside, and my arms were cuffed behind me. Why couldn't he just get it over with? Just ask some questions, and Light would gladly answer while lying through his teeth. At least L wasn't a mind reader. I shakily breathed in and out.

"Please, let's just start already Ryuuzaki."

And you can see my heart beating

You can see it through my chest

And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving

Know that I must pass this test

So just pull the trigger

"Fine then Raitio-kun. First, do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but truth to me and in front of these cameras?"

"I do, Ryuuzaki."

The addition of his name obviously had an internal meaning somehow, but that of which Ryuuzaki did not know. I internally readied myself for the intense questions ahead. Secretly, I was frightened, for L was a man who has never lost before. What if he saw through his facade, if he figured out his carefully constructed plan? Was this man that good? L sat there his face dead, pale, and cold. His white shirt that was ten sizes too big hung low on his slender frame, and his tattered jeans gave him the look of a should be homeless man. The man was filthily rich on the contrary. I could not stand it.

 No, this man was good, but compared to me, not good enough.

Say a prayer to yourself

He says, close your eyes

Sometimes it helps

And then I get a scary thought

That he's here means he's never lost

And you can see my heart beating

You can see it through my chest

And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving

Know that I must pass this test

So just pull the trigger

The questioning began. One after another, they were thrown at me, confusingly scattering my thoughts, making me head spin and mind wander. However, I knew well how to answer by now, and I deflected each gesture and accusation right back at Ryuuzaki. I knew, oh how I was aware, that just that one slip up could cost me my life. I would never see the light of day again, not even a last chance of redemption would be considered in the eyes of L. For Kira was the face of evil in itself. He deserved nothing less than a painful death, but I was not Kira at the moment for the sake of L's sanity. I am a killer though, in the deepest and darkest edges of my soul lurked a creature so foul and so deliciously tainted the taste made bile rise in my throat. It was painfully delectable. I valuedmy life deeply at the moment of course, so admitting that fact would obviously be my death. So, for now, I lied.

As my life flashes before my eyes

I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise?

So many won't get the chance to say goodbye

But it's too late to pick up the value of my life

And you can see my heart beating

You can see it through my chest

And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving

Know that I must pass this test

So just pull the trigger

The questioning was over. I sighed, relieved. My insides shook off their nervousness and I managed something short of a smile to grace my features. While Ryuuzaki unlocked my cuffs I let a single tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away once my hands were free. He came to stand before me, emotionless as always, though something was off. Then, L spoke again.

"From now on, Raitio-kun, you will be under constant surveillance while being handcuffed to me, so I cannot lose one ounce of information. I am very sure that you are Kira, but we will wait to see the truth."

Isat shell-shocked as my heart plummeted, and I heard the distant echoes of a gunshot.

A/N: The gunshot was imaginary. This fic was based off of the song Russian Roulette that has been stuck in my head for days. I just HAD to write a fic pertaining to it, and it is my first songfic. However, this is NOT my first fic because I have another fanfiction. net account that will remain unnamed unless you wish to know it (PM me if you want to know why). Please let me know what you think? That means review :) maybe I will write a sequel to it with another song, since I so love LXLight goodness and tension. PS spelling/grammatical errors are soely my fault because I am too lazy to get a beta XD