PROLOGUE

Author's Words and Warnings: Hello Readers on fanfiction! This is Rengyou right now and I'm here to say be prepare for A LOT of crack in this Naruto fanfic. Our fanfic was based on when CAPPY and I would play Naruto when we were younger. And this is all before we even knew some of the characters featured in this story died, but we're including them because we love them. We're kind of Sakura, Sasuke, and Ino haters, they're included in this story, but there's a lot of hate, so we warn you… This is all for PURE HUMOR (Crack.) So just keep that in mind. Anyways this is all when our favorite couples and couples get married and have kids of their own. On our profile, we have pictures of them if you want to check it out. All of the drawings are by me, please DO NOT steal them. Thank you and we hope you enjoy our crack fanfiction.

Genre: Family, Humor, PURE CRACK!

DISCLAIMER: We don't own any of the Original Naruto characters. However, we do own the OCs (The kids).

In a beautiful village called Konoha, lived five particular families. The Uzumaki family. The Nara family. The Hyuuga family. The Uchiha family. And the Akatsuki residents.

Over the years, Naruto became the seventh Hokage of Konoha and begged Hinata's father in her hand of marriage…

"Please Headmaster Sir Doctor Mister Swami Principal Father Dad Hyuuga! I truly want to marry your beautiful daughter, Hinata!" Naruto begged as he glued his head down the floor. Hinata couldn't resist, but to let out a slight giggle. Hyuuga-san looked at him with a frown and wrinkled his forehead.

"You forgot to include professor!" Hyuuga-san mentioned with a stern smile. Naruto quickly looked up at the aged man with liquid blue eyes.

"Please Headmaster Sir Doctor Mister Swami Principal Father Dad Professor Hyuuga! I truly want to marry your beautiful daughter, Hinata!" Naruto repeated, "I love her with all of my heart!" Hyuuga-san smiled and looked at Naruto.

"Very well then, you may marry Hinata," He said presenting his lovely daughter was standing behind him.

"Thank you, daddy!" The sheepish girl said and hugged her father and placed a gingerly kiss on Naruto's forehead.

Half a year later, the couple celebrated their elaborate wedding with all of their friends, families, and enemies. A fine wedding it was… Hinata is finally with the person of whom she has loved the most. Today, the two live together with their two children. Uzumaki Shinsuke is the son and looks a lot like his mother, except he does not obtain the byakugan. He's a lot like his father when he was younger, wild, rebellious, and really doesn't give a damn about anything. And Uzumaki Hana is the daughter of the family. With short blonde hair and sky blue eyes, Hana looks a lot like her father, yet has the brains like her mother's. (Not as dumb as Shinsuke).

One day out in a mission, Ten-Ten, Neji and his beard were just sitting together under the moon watching the fire burn wood. It was just a warm moment. At the edge of Ten-Ten's eyes, she saw Neji forming a smile on his face. He held her hand and looked at her while she was turning her head around.

"Hey, Ten-Ten," He started, "I have a question."

"Yes, Neji?" The young man reached into his backpack. Trying to look for a certain something, Ten-Ten heard the rustles against the bushes and out comes a pack of other shinobis!

"Look out!" She said tackling Neji to the ground and quickly threw a few kunais at the ambushers, which slowed them down.

Ten-Ten and Neji both attacked them and what not, later on the two burned the bodies of the ambusher. After the attack, Neji finally found the certain something.

He looked at her in the eyes and embraced her, "Thank you!" He yelled out and settled his head on Ten-Ten's shoulder.

"So what were you gonna ask me?" The young woman said sliding her slender fingers through Neji's silky hair.

"I love you… Will you marry me?" He asked presenting three shiny rings.

"Why are there three?"

"This small one is for my beard," He answered.

"Very well then, I love you," She said and let out a few tears. Happy to find out that Neji truly does love her.

One year later, Neji and Ten-Ten finally got married and live together in Konoha with their lovely twins. Tay-Tay taking extreme resemblance to her mother and Silky who looked a lot like his father. The twins have byakugan and of course Silky being the son, he uses it to his advantage if you get what I'm saying… Tay-Tay is kind of the more… Emo than her brother. Silky is just a poser, enough said.

Now on to Shikamaru and Temari…

The two have been going out for a while and they're finally married, but how were they able to marry each other when the two are from different villages?

Well, it took about a month and three fourths to convince Gaara, but about ten minutes to negotiate with Naruto.

"Why can't you let us get married? We're in love dammit!" Temari roared as she try to struggle out the arms of her lover, Shikamaru and her younger brother, Kankurou.

"Hey, onii-chan, you gotta calm down," Kankurou said in an exhausted tone, "Seriously, I just came back from my manicure appointment and now my nails aren't shiny anymore," He whined.

"What a drag…" Shikamaru groaned.

"If you guys want to get married, you must convince me," Gaara said in a dry tone.

"It's been over a month! Where the Hell have you been?!" Temari screamed in her baby brother's ears.

"How do we convince you? I'll do anything to marry Temari," Shikamaru said and smiled at Temari. His future wife couldn't help, but to smile back and let out a few tears.

"Damn you…" Temari mouthed at Shikamaru.

"So what do I have to do to convince you?" Shikamaru asked. A malicious smile formed on Gaara's face as he looked at the smart young man.

"You must make cookies for me," Gaara answered. Shikamaru, Temari, Kankurou, and Reiko gave him both a baffled and furious expression.

"ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?! WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE SOME DAMN COOKIES FOR YOU?!" Temari screamed once again. Gaara shook his head and shot his pointer finger at Shikamaru.

"He's making the cookies."

"Oh God…" Temari said under her breath.

"I'm dead…" Shikamaru frowned and then looked at Temari, whose eyes were as surprised as his.

"You can't even make a sandwich," Temari said in a worried tone. Shikamaru held Temari's hands and held it tight.

"Don't worry, it won't be as bad when I made breakfast-in-bed for you a while ago," He said in a cheerful voice and walked off into the kitchen while Temari stayed still.

"Oh no… He's going to blow up the whole sand village… Oh crap…" Temari thought to herself.

Shikamaru strapped the pink apron Gaara made him wear. The apron was pink, frilly, and just plain out tacky. But if it's worth a marriage with the one you truly love, then it's worth it. Shikamaru dug around the kitchen, leaving cabinets, the refrigerator and whatnot opened.

After nineteen attempts, the kitchen was a complete disaster, poor Reiko who had to clean it up. Bombs of eggs, splattered all over the floor. Clouds of flour spread across the whole kitchen. But this time, Shikamaru believed, this is the right batch. He pulled out the hot tray from the melting oven with oven mitts that matched the tacky apron Gaara forced him to wear. He placed the hot tray on top of the oven so it can cool down. In the mean while, Gaara, Temari, Kankurou, and Reiko were all still waiting for the unskilled baker. Kankurou looked at his older sister as she flinched in fear.

After five minutes, Shikamaru walked out with the cookies in a fancy tray with five glasses of milk, "Dessert served," He said in a sluggish tone. Gaara watched him as he walked by, still wearing the silly pink apron he handed to him. Gaara saw that Shikamaru was nervous and tense. He can also feel that Shikamaru has the urge to crap in his pants, like that one time when Gaara chugged down spoiled milk… Same goes for Naruto as well.

Slowly, Gaara grabbed a fresh baked cookie and released some gas as well.

"Dude, 'the Hell?" Temari snapped.

"Silence!" Gaara demanded and stuffed the hot cookie in his mouth, slowly chewing it and added some milk into his mouth, "Hmmmm… Mmmmm…. Hmmmm…. Ummmm…. Hmmmm…. Mmmm…"

"Well, what do you think, Kazekage-sama?" Shikamaru asked nervously.

"Don't you mean 'brother- in- law?'?" Gaara said with a mouthful of cookie mush.

"O-M-G!" Kankurou squealed, "O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-G! O-M-"

"Shut up!" Temari yelled and slapped Kankurou across the face and then looked at Gaara, then Shikamaru, "Thank you so very much!"

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," Shikamaru said smiling.

"So… When's the wedding?" Kankurou asked with a curious smirk on his face.

"Fine… You'll be a bride's maid," Temari sighed.

"Wee!" Kankurou squealed, "Can the dresses be purple? Or maybe lavender? Oooh! How about champagne purple?! Or violet!?"

After four months, the engaged were finally married in both the Suna village and Konoha. In Konoha, Temari's maid of honor was Ten-Ten. Shikamaru's best man was his best friend, Akimichi Chouji. In the Suna, Gaara was Shikamaru's best man and Temari's bride of honor was Reiko. Of course that was purposely set up. And of course, Kankurou was proud to be one of Temari's bride's maids. They saved a lot of money too by hiring him; he was good with cosmetics and hair.

Immediately, the two already expected their first child, Kumo, the first son and probably the one that takes after his father the most. Kumo is currently 15. After Kumo was Hokaze, who wasn't really the brightest crayon in the box. And last but not least, Natsukage who is the smartest of the Nara children. Natsukage currently live with her family in Konoha, she preferred to live in the Suna with her uncle Gaara. But Natsukage still visits her parents every once and a while.

Sasori and Deidara, probably one of the most interesting and least likely couples, but they were able to manage through after giving up on the Akatsuki. The two were both men and fell in love together during their time in the Akatsuki.

Irritated by Pain's plans, the two left the Akatsuki and robbed a bank so Deidara was able to get a sex change. And that was successful. Deidara still has the same name since it sounded 'feminine' to Sasori, but Deidara preferred to be called 'Dei-Dei' or 'Dara' by her gal pals. The two had a beautiful wedding with the Akatsuki and enemies. Of course it was a costly wedding, so they robbed another bank.

Surprisingly, the two were able to have beautiful twins, Tsuki being the oldest, and Hoshi being the youngest. The two are pretty popular amongst their school. Tsuki being the nice pretty boy who every girl wants to go out with. And Hoshi, the shy girl who every guy would give chocolates and buy gifts for. But Hoshi is a kind, gentle girl.

What about Sasuke, Ino, and Sakura you ask?

Well Sasuke was able to escape the emo farm and married Sakura who became a hooker along with Ino who was practically a skeleton. Ino was too skinny to carry the UGLY child so Sakura bears the UGLY one. Ugly… She is extremely ugly, like her name. Ugly is the most hated and feared girl at her school, but too dumb to realize that.

Today, all of these youngsters and chip off the old blocks go to a universal school together.

Author's Words: Hey, I hoped you liked that so far! Well, Cappy-Chan is going to start off chapter one! Enjoy the crack! Reviews please!!!