He switched his phone off, staring at the screen. He wasn't really going to do it. He would call him back and tell him it was ridiculous. There was no way he was going to drive up to the Russian River in the middle of the night. What the fuck was Patrick thinking? Stupid wanker. High on some shit that Agustin gave him.

Kevin looked back into the bedroom, at the man sleeping peacefully in their bed. Jon. Dependable, reliable, mature Jon, sleeping quietly, so trusting, who loved him, who uprooted his life for him, who for a long time had been everything Kevin had thought he wanted. And still was...mostly. He should get back into bed with Jon. Put an end to this stupid...thing.

'How the fuck did I get here?' Kevin closed his eyes for a brief moment. It wasn't too late to make the right decision. Why the fuck did it feel so hard? It could just end tonight. No one would get hurt, Jon wouldn't ever even need to know...

'Fuck'. Just one more night. This would be it, he promised himself. He'd already told Patrick he'd go. After this, this one last adventure, he would break it off. Neither of them were in too deep yet. This was just sex, the thrill of an affair. It didn't mean anything. But the pull...it was just...all he needed was just one last fuck.

Kevin dressed quickly and quietly, checking his pockets for condoms and lube, snagging the keys to Jon's car from the kitchen table. He stopped suddenly as he reached the door. This was...different. His boyfriend lay sleeping in their bed and he was leaving to go fuck another man. This wasn't being carried away by the heat of the moment, or a simple, uncomplicated opportunistic encounter. This was a deliberate betrayal, a line he was crossing that he'd always sworn to avoid before.

Just one of many 'rules' that had been thrown out since he's met Patrick.

He opened the door and slipped out. No turning back. He knew where he should be but he couldn't stop wanting to be somewhere else, and now there was nothing but urgency. How quickly could he get up there? How soon would he see Patrick? God, he really wanted to see Patrick.

'Fucking idiot' Kevin swore to himself. See Patrick? Who the hell was he kidding. He didn't want to see Patrick. He wanted to fuck him. He wanted to kiss him, to stroke him, grip his hair, suck his cock, feel Patrick's hands all over his body, feel Patrick petting him, Patrick clutching him close, Patrick panting and gasping in his ear as he came so hard, his skin blushing, that look of surprise as if he could hardly believe how good sex could be. He wanted all of that. He wanted to be so deep inside of him that he could feel his fucking heart beating. He needed that feeling. Just one more time...and then, it could end, and they'd go back to...being friends. Colleagues. Just like they were at the beginning.

'Oh Christ...what am I doing?' One last chance to stop this, Kevin told himself as he sat in the car, the key in his hand. 'It's not too late'.

But it was. When the fuck did it become too late? That first time on the office floor? The first half-kiss at the wedding? Before then, on those weekends they spent working together or all the way back when Patrick flirted with him on that stupid boat? When should he have stopped...whatever this was? Because now it was...everything. All consuming. There was no point in lying to himself as he was to everyone else around him. It was going to hurt like a bitch to end this, which he would have to do soon. But not tonight. Tonight he was going to be with Patrick and they were going to fuck and it was going to be...magnificent. He was hard just at the thought of it. At the thought of Patrick and his yearning eyes, and his soft hair, and his smooth skin and his sweet beautiful mouth, with it's wicked clever tongue and his sharp biting teeth.

Jon was minutes away upstairs in bed. All he had to do was go back inside. But Patrick...Patrick was waiting for him, hungry for him, a hundred miles away. Kevin started the car and pulled out of the garage. He would deal with this all tomorrow. It couldn't be too late to put everything right. He would fix it. Tomorrow.

Three months earlier...

If he hadn't met Patrick on the boat that night, would it have made a difference? If they'd just met the following day, as colleagues in the office...would he have ever seen Patrick as anything other than an employee? A nice, pretty, boy. A little goofy, earnest, hard working. Harmless.

Would he have been as intrigued if he hadn't seen the beautiful young man holding court amongst his friends, proudly out, teasing them about their subconsciously homoerotic designs. And then Kevin drew his attention and those eyes caught his and he got his full focus...from that moment on he could feel Patrick watching him, stalking him. Was it knowing how obviously the boy wanted him that set them on this path?

And the torpedo room. What made him leave the party in mid swing to go and play the game, by himself. Was he really trying to escape Patrick's relentless stare, or did he know that Patrick would follow him, that they'd end up alone together.

Still, he let the boy know in no uncertain terms that he was barking up the wrong tree. He slapped him down hard, twice. The first time Patrick recovered heroically.

'Well, I have a boyfriend' Kevin had told him plainly, when it was obvious he was flirting, very very badly.

'I was just trying to be funny anyway' he'd said, and suddenly the clumsily flirting boy was gone and he was just a nice friendly kid, playing video games with a fellow-nerd.

The second time, though...that look of dismay. Kevin knew it was too harsh. He shouldn't have done it that way, but...the urge to fully put the boy in his place, to make Patrick want to run away humiliated...was suddenly very strong.

'As in you could be my new boss?' Patrick had asked, obviously horrified.

And Kevin had smiled quite cruelly as the truth dawned on poor Patrick's face. He had unknowingly propositioned his new boss, who had a boyfriend, while straddling a torpedo.

Was that when he should have known that this was going to be something totally...different?

That night, his phone call with Jon went the way of so many before. They had spent weeks apart over their two years together, with Jon traveling with the team to away games and training camps. They exchanged small details about their day that they thought would be interesting, and they talked about practical matters, arrangements, plans. When Jon asked him about the party he didn't even hesitate, laughing at the incident of the funny, awkward young man who asked him out while straddling a torpedo. Jon joked that Kevin should be careful of sexual harassment lawsuits. Kevin chuckled.

But later, in bed, when he closed his eyes, the image he saw clear as day was Patrick, holding that stupid game controller, totally in control, confident, happy, smiling cockily.

'Didn't see that coming' Patrick had said, cool and smooth. Maybe that was the moment that it was too late.

The following day...

A parade of eager young developers welcoming him, chatting him up, trying to make an impression. That was Kevin's first morning in the San Francisco offices of MDG. Interspersed of course with the obligatory HR minutiae, and the boring tedium of setting up his office space, making contact with his department heads, setting up planning meetings. The news had spread about the Infinite team being set up and everyone was desperate to be on it.

He'd had a chance to look through the records of some of the most highly recommended employees while he was still in Seattle, and the nucleus of his team was pretty much formed in his mind based on that alone. Kevin had come in practically at dawn to get a jump on the huge workload to be tackled, his first job being to finalize the team. Reaching for the employee files, it was both a slight shock, yet strangely inevitable, when he realized that Patrick Murray was one of the faceless few whose file he'd already put on the 'must-haves' pile. Last night he had been half hoping the kid would be too...anything...to be on the team. He re-read all the other files first, leaving Patrick's for last.

Jesus, this kid was a disaster. He worked in the IT field. Didn't he know all his online activity would be monitored? His performance was excellent, but those websites...what was a boy like him doing trolling for companionship on dating websites anyway? Didn't he look in a fucking mirror? Kevin smiled when he thought about Patrick's terrible attempts at flirting. Suddenly the websites made a little more sense.

The urge to look deeper in the files, all the way back to the boring personnel detail, was too strong, and it was one of those very same little details that made Kevin feel...annoyed. Patrick Murray was 29 years old. He wasn't a boy. He wasn't a kid. He was a full grown man. That seemed somehow...wrong. He didn't want to think of him as a man. As a potential...equal. It was ridiculous to think that someone like Jon, a respected professional, a mature, grounded, confident man could be in the same category as...Patrick, who giggled, and blushed, and wore every feeling so clearly on his face. Fucking ridiculous. And annoying.

When Patrick walked into his office later that morning, Kevin was feeling absurdly aggressive. He'd seen him sitting at his desk, whispering to another man identified in his files as Owen. They were a design team. Owen must be shitting bricks if Patrick had confessed to what had happened last night, and from the ominous glares Owen continuously gave Patrick, he must have done exactly that.

But it had obviously taken Patrick some time to work up his courage, because most of the other designers had already walked in to introduce themselves before Patrick finally graced him with a visit. The little coward.

His opening line was priceless.

'Listen I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to come in and apologize for last night.'

'For what?

'Well you know, I was a little drunk and... I hope I didn't come across as...'

'As...' Kevin was determined to make him sweat it out.

'Well as, you know, as one of those guys that...'

Really, he was too easy to wind up. He was such a mess when he was nervous.

Kevin had dispatched him pretty quickly, humiliating him with the evidence of his online man-trolling.

'I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just, be careful what you look at, during work hours. It sends a certain message'.

Watching Patrick squirm again was...good. What was he so worked up about last night? He must have been drunk. Certainly Patrick was... beautiful, but, he was also pretty much a bumbling fool. Kevin felt calm again. In control. There was no danger here. Nothing to be alarmed about. He would have a laugh with Jon about it tonight. The continuing saga of the little twit, Patrick Murray.

Only he didn't mention it to Jon.

And that night, when he closed his eyes, he saw Patrick's face as he asked to be on the team, earnestly trying to sell himself to Kevin, and Kevin felt...disturbed. And not so much in control anymore.

And then...

Anxieties about the new job, about relocating, about being separated from Jon...these were all the most logical explanations for the restlessness that Kevin was experiencing. He'd had a bad night's sleep, with dreams he tried to cling on to as he woke but couldn't remember a second later.

He'd woken up with a raging hard-on. Not that unusual, but taking care of it himself felt unsatisfactory. Kevin briefly thought about calling Jon but he'd probably be pissed to be woken up this early just to get his boyfriend off. Anyway, they'd only tried that once near the beginning, on one of Jon's first trips away. It had felt silly rather than erotic and they'd ended up laughing awkwardly and never trying again.

Kevin lazily stroked himself thinking about Jon, conjuring up some favorite images that always seemed to work. Jon's sculpted muscles flexing as Kevin moved him how he wanted him, the light hair on his chest that he liked to nuzzle, and that pointed down so deliciously like an arrow to his most excellent cock. Kevin stretched languidly as he remembered their last night in Seattle. It hasn't been like that in a while. He'd fucked Jon hard, bending him over the sofa. Kept him on the edge, wouldn't let him cum until he begged.

That was a good night.

Suddenly the picture in Kevin's mind changed and he was in a steam room in the gym, a stranger's hand replacing his own. Not a fantasy...a memory. He remembered with piercing clarity his shock at the man's boldness, and then how that shock had quickly changed to pleasure, a pleasure so unexpected and sharp that his brain stuttered and all protests had quickly died. It had been over in a few minutes, and he had instinctively drawn back as the man had leaned in to kiss him at the end. After, he had spent half an hour in the showers, standing under the running, scalding water, thinking, trying to process what had just happened. Part of him knew he should tell Jon, just confess that he had been caught by surprise, had left himself get carried away, and he had even planned the words he would use to explain on the phone that night...but he never had. It seemed...unnecessarily cruel. Jon would be angry, justifiably so, but nothing would really change. He already felt guilty so all he would achieve would be to make Jon feel equally shitty. What was the point of that, when he knew that how he and Jon felt about each other hadn't been affected. He could live with the guilt and spare Jon the pain.

'Jesus' Kevin looked at the rapidly deflating cock he was holding in his hand. He flopped back in the bed.

'Well that was a waste of a perfectly good erection'. he laughed bitterly.

At least it proved he still had a conscience. He didn't need to look too hard at why thoughts of past hookups would be crowding his mind this morning and frankly he didn't need to be Dr. Freud to figure out the source of his resurrected conscience. But he also didn't need anyone or anything, subconscious or otherwise, to tell him what was perfectly obvious. It was a fucking stupid idea to get involved with someone he would be seeing daily at work. You didn't shit on your own doorstep. And, he had rules, principles, however bizarre that might seem to others. Anonymous fleeting physical gratification was one thing. Fucking another man with a name, a history, that was something totally different, and not acceptable. So yes, he found himself attracted to Patrick, despite the fact that he wasn't his usual type, despite the fact that he had seen him act like a total idiot both times he had met him, but nothing was going to happen.

Today was a new day, and just like a case of the 24-hour flu, he had to let this unexpected fascination with Patrick Murray just roll through him until it was over, then get up and go on as if it had never happened. There was no way he was jeopardizing the life he had built for himself with Jon for what would probably not even be that thrilling of an encounter. Someone like Patrick would probably have enthusiasm, but not much skill. He most likely would need to be told what to do, guided as to how to give and receive pleasure. He was definitely not a top which suited Kevin just fine...

'Fuuuuuck'. Thinking about reasons not to have sex with Patrick was not the solution to not thinking about sex with Patrick. Work. That was the answer. Just getting on with work, focusing on that, and on getting Jon here as soon as possible. That was the plan for the day. And with any luck, Patrick would just stay the fuck away from him...

That had obviously been too much to hope for, but the Patrick that presented himself that morning was a new one. A professional, passionate and mature co-worker. He had obviously been hit pretty hard by the debacle of their previous couple of encounters, and had made a genuine effort to clean up his image.

Head held high, he had confronted Kevin and laid out his case simply. He loved his job, he was committed, and he was capable. And he was ready to provide proof, holding out a game cartridge.

'It's a new build for Naval Destroyer, with a playable female character'

Kevin couldn't help himself. He was impressed and...charmed. Enough of these silly games. It was time to put Patrick out of his misery. They were going to be working together, and they had to get back on the right footing.

'You were always going to be on my team'

'Really?'

'Yeah...but commitment looks good on you.'

Patrick's shocked look was priceless. He really had to try to hide his feelings a little better. Though...Kevin felt it would be a sad day when Patrick Murray learned to hide behind a mask of cool cynicism.

'All right. Let's play.' He prompted, wiping out the awkwardness of their history with a simple invitation to do something which they both loved, and were both good at. No more fucking around with ridiculous power moves.

And the longer they played, the more at ease Kevin felt. Yesssss. This was GOOD. This was going to work just fine. Moving from that weird, inexplicable spine tingling attraction to this friendly, platonic banter. More than fine, this was going to be FUN, working with this group of eager hungry young programmers. Kevin smiled and looked at Patrick, who was doing a fucking good job of beating his ass AGAIN, this time with a character he had built all himself, just to impress his boss.

Patrick looked back at him, his sly smile breaking through the formal reserve he had put up.

Cocky little shit. They grinned at each other, two gamer nerds, in gamer heaven. Moving to San Francisco had definitely been the right move.