Peach the Punk Princess
By: C. Mechayoshi
Completed: 5/26/17
Summary: What if Peach was Punk? How would her friends and family react? Loosely inspired by Super Mario Bros Comic: Magic Carpet Maddness.
Disclaimer: Mario and co belong to Nintendo. Song lyrics by me.
Author note: Just a weird idea I had. Not technically AU, but I did want to subvert expectations. You wouldn't expect this from Peach right?
It was a Friday in the Mushroom Kingdom with little going on. Peach was on her bed reading a book about the democratic relations in the Beanbean Kingdom while the radio blasted. Reading was the princess's favorite hobby, aside from music. Her father, the Mushroom King being not much of a reader, she was responsible for the castle's massive library and music collection. Being a lyricist would be Peach's career if she wasn't a Princess. She'd even learned to play electric guitar to her father's dismay. After an hour there was a light rap on the door. Then a louder one. Then someone was practically banging on it.
"Oh tee hee! Come in!" Peach said, cutting down the Ramones Brothers song.
In came a Toad servant, with a weary face. Peach always wondered why they looked like that upon entering her room. "Umm, dinner is ready, my princess."
Peach put her book down and sat up a bit. "Thank you dear. Tell daddy I'll be right down."
The servant nodded and quickly retreated. "Dinner already?" Peach thought. She threw on her denim jean vest, decorated with several patches from local punk bands, namely Rancid Mushroom, Koopa Misfits, Green Star Day, Bad Bandits, Boo Circle Jerks, and a favorite, Bowser Flag. It went well with her black Ramones Brothers emblem shirt and busted up blue jeans. She also wore giant pink triangle earrings and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. For shoes she was keeping on her pink slippers. Why? It's was her house after all. For makeup she went with a smoky eyeshadow. Lastly, she'd wear her crown too. She was a punk, but being royalty still came first.
After her uneventful descent downstairs to the dining room, Peach was greeted to a lovely evening meal. She was used to their massive table, but it looked even bigger with only ten or so guests at it. Peach's eyes lit up when she saw that Daisy had been invited as well, and her stomach growled at the smell. Already on the tables was the finest Shroom Steak, served on golden platters with garden fresh salad to the side. The King, Mario, Luigi, Daisy, Toadette, and Toadsworth, along with some honorary guards like Buckenberry and Alagold looked to her expectantly as she approached the table. Out of royal adequate, no one had touched their meals while waiting.
"Glad you made it dear," the king said exhaustedly. "I guess the servant I sent failed to mention that the Marios were here."
Or Daisy, Peach thought, but that was typical. Most servants seemed to not be able to stand her room or her music for more than a second so their messages tended to omit things.
"It's okay, daddy. So you like my outfit?" Peach asked, wishing to change the subject. She spun around to show it off before taking a seat next to her father. Mario, who was next to her on the other side, smiled sweetly. He'd always be a dear to her, even if they didn't see eye to eye life style wise. Everyone else was too captivated by their five star meal and had started to eat the moment Peach sat down.
Daisy clacked her fork on the plate. "Chow down time!" She took huge bites of her food. The King gave her a questionable look but let it go, as he quietly began to eat. Everyone else followed but Peach. She wasn't hungry anymore, so out of nervous habit, she found herself doodling some lyrics on a napkin.
"Fighting against meal time normalcy
Wishing for steam fried anarchy
Shroom shake, birthday cake
Don't make dinner a headache!"
Peach balled up that napkin, dissatisfied, when she felt eyes on her. Peach glanced towards Daisy.
"So, what have you been up to?" Daisy asked.
Peach played around with her food. "Oh, nothing...What about you, Mario?"
Mario shrugged. "Just routine plumbing stuff. Bowser's sure been quiet lately, eh? Hey Weegee. What about you?" Mario asked, trying to draw him out.
Luigi pushed his plate away, having only nibbled his food. "Uh..."
"Tell the princess about your new writing project!" Mario said, nudging him. This caught Peach's attention.
Luigi shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I'm writing...Super Luigi Vol 12..."
"And I'm sure it's good too," Daisy added with a wink. Luigi blushed.
"Ah hem!" Toadsworth announced. "I believe dessert will be coming soon. May I whistle for it your highness?"
The King nodded. "I have a meeting soon. You kids can enjoy dessert and mingle. Besides, I'm on a diet now!" The King and Toadsworth laughed at the 'joke' as they excused themselves from the table.
"Hey guys. The lake- now!" Daisy whispered as soon as the two elders got out of ear range. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toadette, Buckenberry, and Alagold gave her knowing glances.
"What was Daisy up to?" Peach wondered. The lake near the castle was where her and her friends often hung out for fresh air. If they needed to talk about things that they didn't want echoing though the castle, that was also the place to be. Once the servants carrying the dessert entered the dining room, all of the seats were empty. They didn't mind, more for them!
Meanwhile at Bowser's Castle.
The guitarist of Bowser Flag smashed his guitar into pieces as the amp feed backed like crazy. They were playing in the open courtyard of Bowser's Castle and the crowd of Bowser's army went wild, a few of them dropping coins into a hat that was laying in front of the microphone. Later the the crowd dispersed and one adolescent approached the tall scary looking singer.
"I love your band!" Junior said, pointing to shirt he was wearing with their logo on it.
"Thanks kid! Say, uh could you mention to King Bowser that we kind of want to go home? I know we're called 'Bowser Flag', but we're like, anarchist and stuff and we don't typically play in the same place over and over...for little to no pay... Could ya just mention it?" The singer asked, progressively lowering his voice as he saw Bowser approaching from the other end of the courtyard.
"Why did you stop?!" Bowser bellowed once he got to them.
"Because that's the end of our catalog?" the bassist answered, annoyed.
"Yeah," the drummer added, "we've played all of our hits except for the ones we wrote for the new album coming out-"
"SHHHHHHH!" the singer, guitarist, and bassist said at once.
Bowser smirked satisfactorily. "I knew you losers had more music to play. Oh, and for a band called 'Bowser Flag' you sure don't have many songs about how great I am. You should do that. In fact, since my son is such a fan of y'all- come here!" Junior ran up to his father. "Why don't you let Junior play with y'all? Would you like that, son?"
"Yesss!" Junior exclaimed, jumping up and down. Everyone in the band groaned simultaneously.
"King Bowser sir," the bassist started, "can he even play an instrument?"
Bowser crossed his arms and shot her a nasty look. "WELL OF COURSE HE CAN! Do you think Junior is talentless?! Show this dumb lady what you can do!" Bowser pointed to Junior. Junior pulled out a triangle and banged on it furiously, making everyone have to cover their ears.
"Okay okay! He can play with us!" the singer shouted. "Just stop!"
"Yay!" Junior cheered. He walked on stage and as he passed the hat, he picked it up. "Ooh, can I earn money too?"
"You sure can, son!" Bowser said. "Now, play!" Everyone except the guitarist reluctantly got back into position. "What's your deal?" Bowser asked indignantly.
The guitarist looked around guiltily. "I kind of smashed it up?"
Bowser shrugged. "That all? Here, you can borrow one of the greatest instruments ever from me. Another triangle!" Bowser tossed it to him, hitting him in the face, and then pulled out a radio. "Attention! Another concert in the castle courtyard featuring your Prince on the triangle. Attendance mandatory or it's the dungeon! Ha ha!" Immediately, Bowser's guards and castle workers poured in as if their life depended on it.
"This is the worst gig ever," the singer whispered to the bassist. She looked back annoyingly. It was his idea to play at Bowser's Castle in the first place.
"Say," Bowser mused, "who else would like a punk concert?...Oh yeah, that punk Princess Peach! I should do something bout that!"
Peach and friends were just hanging around the lake shore, enjoying the sunset. Peach and Daisy were at a small distance from the rest.
"Why didn't you mention one, two, three, four, five- you get the point, " Toadette asked Luigi.
"You've read them?" Luigi said with a baffled expression. "It said on Amazon that there was only one buyer!"
Toadette looked away, "Actually..."
Buckenberry stepped in between them. "It was me. Yep, uh huh. It's not that the were good or anything but I'm obsessed with Mario and you're his brother so logically I have to love you as well. If only he wasn't so obsessed with Peach.."
Toadette slapped Buckenberry. "You realize she's standing right over there?!"
Buckenberry rubbed the area she hit. "Well, her and Daisy are too busy with each other. I think she'll survive."
Meanwhile...
"So when are we going to try to make it? I might not be able to sneak out for all of next week!" Daisy said to Peach. Off from the rest, they sat in the sand.
Peach buttoned up her vest as she got a chill. "What about tonight? I think Bowser Flag was supposed to play, but the location..."
"Where?" Daisy asked eagerly.
"It's at Bowser's Castle," Peach whispered.
"That all? I can't say I've ever snuck there, but I do go to all of my concerts incognito. Dance, pop, country, raves, it can't be any harder there. I say we do it!"
Peach gaped. "Tonight?!" She exclaimed louder than she meant.
"Yeah, why not? Your dad is gonna be in a meeting and I can just say that I spent the night at your place or something. Live a little!"
Peach looked to the ground. "I don't know..."
"Seriously girl?" Daisy teased. "Is your hip punk outfit just a costume? Or are you a girl who wants to have fun? Remember how the song goes?"
Peach smiled. Daisy wasn't really a punk, she just liked high energy music and punk often fit the bill. She needed to get her references right though. "The song you're referencing isn't even a punk song, but I guess you're right. Wow, this is gonna be weird. Should we tell the others?" Peach glanced towards the rest.
"Nah," Daisy said, pointing to them with her thumb. "Tell them it's a girls night out."
"But Toadette is a girl..."
"Then let's bring her. She had told me she was curious anyway. Oh yeah, this is rockin! Hey Toadette!" Daisy suddenly called.
Toadette excused herself from the rest. "Yes, princess?"
"Wanna join us for a concert?" Daisy asked slyly. Peach stood by with a nervous expression.
Toadette's face lit up. "Oh, okay. Sounds fun. You mean tonight, though?"
Peach nodded.
"Eh, sure. I mean, live a little, right?" Toadette and Daisy gave each other a high five. Peach was still nervous, but kind of excited. How would she plan this out and not get caught? Her father was already iffy on her choice of music. If he found out that she went on Bowser territory to see a band, well...she'd be in hot water for sure. She pulled out her phone and typed some lyrics she suddenly came up with.
"Living on the run
Will they accept me?
I just want to have some fun
Liven up, and join maybe"
Soon the girls rejoined the boys.
"Done with your girl talk?" Buckenberry asked. Toadette slapped him again.
"We're going to spend the rest of the night on a girls night out. You boys are free to go back to the castle and hang or eat, I'm sure daddy wont mind," Peach said innocently.
"Fine by me, right?" Mario said, looking to the rest. Something in his eyes told Peach that he knew more than he was saying.
"Am I going to get a line?" Alagold asked.
"No," everyone answered. Alagold shrugged in his usual indifference.
To be continued.