It had been a long day for Beacon Hills's sheriff. He had just come off a 12-turned-20- hour shift and he was ready to head home. But, being the fantastic father that he is, decided to stop at the store to pick up some pain relievers for Stiles since he had been complaining about headaches.

He was debating between Aleve and the generic brand when he heard his son's voice. Grabbing the Aleve, he quickly rounded the corner, curious to see what Stiles was doing there, only to stop dead in his tracks at the scene in front of him. Stiles and the Lahey kid were standing with their backs to him, looking at lube.

And the Lahey kid – Isaac – John reminded himself, was already holding two boxes of condoms. Why did he need to buy two boxes at once? God, were one of those boxes for his son? His baby boy? Stiles's voice snapped him out of his reverie, bringing him back to the traumatizing situation in front of him.

"No, this one didn't work well last time, remember?" Stiles asked as he put the purple bottle of KY lubricant back on the shelf.

Wait. WAIT. They weren't just perusing condoms and lube together for their own personal use, no they were going to use them together and – hang on, did Stiles say last time?!

"Not really," Isaac responded with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well, that's because you're not the one who felt like he was getting torn in half with each thrust," Stiles remarked with a roll of his eyes.

Thrust. Had thrust always sounded like such a dirty word? Had it always been so obscene or was it only so disgusting when couple with the images of his child being the receiver of such thrusting? John will never be able to hear, let alone use, that word again. Ever.

Isaac snickered at Stiles's dramatics, slipping a hand into Stiles's back pocket and squeezing.

And God, John hadn't even know they were together. Least of all together. You know, sexually.

"What about that one?" Isaac asked, gesturing with his hand full of condoms towards a red bottle.

Stiles picks it up, gives it an apprising look, before shaking his head and putting it back.

"That one?" Isaac asked again, receiving a "no" in response. It was Isaac's turn to roll his eyes.

Stiles picked up another bottle – a large bottle.

"Let's get this one, it comes with 50% more," Stiles said, winking at Isaac before turning around and locking eyes with the sheriff, his abject terror matching John's.

"DAD!"

Isaac spun around so quickly he was in danger of giving himself whiplash. The sheriff took another moment to stare at his son's stunned face before shaking his head and striding up to the two boys. Isaac took a step back while Stiles remained rooted to his spot in shock, mouth hanging slightly open. John took the bottle of lube out of Stiles's hand before grabbing the red bottle Isaac had pointed out earlier. He placed the bottle in Stile's hand, wrapping his fingers around it to ensure he actually had a grip on it before letting go, saying, "Don't be a cheap ass, son."

John walked away, heading casually for the register, hearing Isaac burst into laughter and Stiles's traumatized, "Oh my God."