A/N: Hey everyone, it's been a while. This is mainly crack, angst, and romance. An AU Swan Queen story centered in Lower East Side Manhattan. The rating will start at T but it will change to M, eventually. I hope you enjoy this, I've been having a lot of fun with it. Read on, lovelies!

Chapter One: No Nudists Allowed

It was the middle of the hottest summer known to humanity and Regina was tired, hungry, her feet hurt, and she was fed-up. She had searched all Lower East Side for a new apartment, for a good three weeks now.

Was it really hard to find a decent apartment?

It wasn't like she was asking for much. She just needed space, something comfortable, functional, and close to the firm.

Apparently, it was hard, impossible hard.

If it wasn't the cockroach infestations, the fungus, the water damage, the rat-hole apartments that seemed to only be cable of fitting a small child, maybe it was the closet that looked more like an elementary school cubicle than an actual space for clothes and shoes.

Maybe it was the lack of running hot water or that every apartment she went to, her future roommates were unhygienic, walking around naked – let's not talk about the naked yoga instructor – or vegetarians.

Not that she had anything against vegetarians. She just had it against one, her ex was a vegetarian and well, he did that whole staring thing that told her she was murdering a small fluffy animal every time she wanted to order some chicken wings as a side to their veggie pizza. It wasn't fair, so...no more vegetarians. Rather be safe than eating tofu turkey, she supposed.

The fact was that it seemed to be taking forever and she needed her things out of her ex's apartment. She has two days to find a proper place, before she would have to collect her things. An apartment that, if it came with a roommate, that he or she wouldn't make her nauseous or feel like a murderer every time she wanted a meat lovers pizza for movie nights.

Regina felt like giving up. She thought about everything that was wrong with the apartments and figured it was probably useless, but then her phone rang and interrupted her thoughts.

She dug for it in her purse. Now, it seemed her purse was bigger than that last apartment, since she couldn't find her phone anywhere. The purse must have eaten it.

She was starting to feel pools of sweat stick to the back of her blouse and under her breasts. She needed to get into a shower and eat something, she needed to feel comfortable, and not like she'd been running a marathon in four-inch heels. Tired and hungry, she could feel a headache was making an appearance. Regina needed aspirin.

No, it wasn't in her purse. Regina really hopes she didn't leave it with the landlady that spoke only Chinese.

That's when she remembered, her phone was actually in her blazer's pocket.

"Of course." She said flatly as she grabbed at it and slid the answer tab on the screen.

"Hello…hello, Kat…Kat I can't hear you. Can you give me a second, I need to… hello- " Regina's feet were hurting and she had almost lost her balance with all the walking and searching for her phone at the same time.

"Can you hear me?!" Screamed the voice at the other end.

"Shit! Yes, Kat, you don't have to scream. I'm not deaf. The reception is just bad." Regina was sure she had just lost some valuable hearing from her right ear. Maybe she was partly deaf after that.

"Sorry...Forgive me?" Kathryn was her best friend, yes, she could forgive her.

"If my ears don't bleed." But that didn't mean she couldn't tease her.

"They seem to be working. Hey, are you still on the lower east? Did you find an apartment? How did it go?" Kathryn went quickly with her questions.

She has been Regina's friend since High School. Regina was staying at her place, since she wasn't about to be staying with the nutter of her ex. Kathryn had offered Regina her spare bedroom the moment she had arrived at her door with a bottle of Grey Goose. Not that the vodka had won her over – they were very good friends and if things were reversed, it would be a no brainer that Kathryn would be staying with Regina – but it couldn't hurt, right?

Plus, it was just what Regina needed, a bit of vodka, a good ear, some crying on a shoulder, and a bed that didn't smell of patchouli musk. A bed that didn't smell of him.

Regina loved staying with Kathryn, but the fact was, Kathryn was getting married and had been living with her fiancé for over a year now. It wasn't exactly the most convenient situation and it had already been three weeks since the breakup.

Regina let out a frustrated sigh, "Yes, no, and I don't think you want to know."

"Well, I think I might actually be able to help you out with this-"

"No." Regina interrupted.

"But-"

"No. Don't you remember the last time you tried to help out?" Regina stood still and decided she would rather not do the whole walking and talking thing for a few minutes, it really was making her dizzy. She needed food.

She spotted a bench and decided to take a load off.

"Oh, please. How was I supposed to know that he was a nudist?"

"You said you had taken his yoga class!"

There was a silence at the other end of the line which meant that Kathryn must have known. Regina could practically feel her friend blushing through the other line. She wondered if maybe Frederick knew about this class, but then her memories started to play with her as she started remembering how the man looked as he was doing a headstand in his living room. That got her back to reality and rather quickly. Her brain must definitely want to further traumatize her.

"Yes, well, I didn't think he was a full-time nudist. I just thought it was some sort of special class, or something like that. Anyways, you know I didn't actually take that class," she lied through her teeth.

There was silence.

"I would never," Kathryn tried to sound convincing.

More silence.

"Ok, so…it was just that one class and please don't bring it up. You know how uncomfortable it makes me every time I remember his-"

"OOOOOk! Do not finish that sentence. Ok, I'll stop, because you're going to give me more nightmares." Regina already had enough of her own to deal with.

They both took a breather.

"Look, I think I found a good apartment for you."

Regina rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and decided to let her friend explain. She highly doubted Kathryn could possibly ever top the nudist. Well, she probably could and will do so for the rest of her life, but the truth was Regina knew she was only trying to be a good friend. So, Regina took another breath, gave up and decided to let her friend help.

"Sure. Why not? Tell me and please don't say it's in Brooklyn, because you know I love you, but I cannot deal with the commute."

"Not in Brooklyn. It has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a decent kitchen, nice living room and it has a view of a small park."

Regina's eyes went wide and she sat a bit straighter. It sounded like heaven, not to mention it had a view and everything else she was looking for. She also knew not to get her hopes too high up before she inspected it herself.

"And where is this place?" Regina took off her blazer and placed in on her lap.

"Well..." Kathryn was stalling.

"Kathryn, I said not Brooklyn!"

"It's not Brooklyn! Now, will you just listen?"

Regina took a breath and started playing with the edges of her blazer.

"Yes, sorry. You may continue."

"Do you remember Neal? My friend from College? Neal?"

"Yes, fairly remember him."

"Well, his ex-girlfriend, Emma. Emma Swan, do you remember her? Apparently, they still get along and have remained as close friends. She has a place in the Lower East Side and she is looking for a new roommate. Do you remember her? She was studying art. Is any of this ringing a bell?"

"Wait, is this the one that got drunk at your New Year's party? The one that ended up raiding our fridge and ate all my rocky road ice cream. Then proceeded to throw away its contents on our white bathroom rug. Oh, no, never had the pleasure." Well, that had answered her question.

"Yes, that was definitely not her finest hour. But come on, Regina. It was college and she's changed. Are you going to hold that grudge forever? You need an apartment and as much as I love you staying with me and Fred, I cannot in good conscience let you break a promise to yourself. You said you couldn't stretch this over the weekend. That it would only lead to having to pick your things up from his apartment while he's still there."

Regina let out a frustrated sigh and wiped at the small drops of sweat that had started forming on her forehead. She wasn't mad, not really. The girl had paid them for a new rug, even after Kathryn told her it wasn't necessary. She just had never really met the girl and already she had made her 'never invite to wine and cheese nights' list. But Kathryn was right, she did promise she wouldn't let herself be in the same presence as 'he who must not be named'.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted, my feet hurt, and…sorry."

"I know, hon. Listen, how would you like to come home to a cooked meal, our friend GG on the rocks, and tomorrow we can go look at this apartment? Maybe have some coffee with Emma. Huh, what do you say?"

"Mmm, some Goose does sound appealing. I think you've got yourself a deal."

Kathryn screamed again, but this time Regina saw it coming so she pulled the phone away from her ear and waited until she could speak through the giddiness of her beloved friend.

"Do you need for me to pick you up?" It warmed her heart to know she could trust that Kathryn would always be there for her.

"No worries, I'm already headed to the Subway station." Regina stood from the bench and started making her way to the nearest entrance.

She really needed her car back from the shop ASAP.

"So, what's Fred cooking tonight?" Regina asked.

"Steak."

"Mmm." Regina let out a moan.

"I know." Kathryn understood that reaction quite well, her fiancé really does make one mean steak.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your fiancé?"

"Hey! I got dibs."

"That you do and I'll be forever in both your debts. You two are a godsend."

"Nonsense. You know we love you."

"And I love you. I'll be there in an hour."

"Ok, see you soon."

"See you soon."

Regina's signal died as soon as she went inside the hot subway tunnel. Taking the 'F' Train to Brooklyn was a thing she knew she would not miss, especially not during the summer. She found a seat quickly enough, and didn't notice the gum that got stuck underneath her shoe.

She was too tired to care about anything other than wishing for an aspirin and for a medium rare steak.

A/N: Our first Regina/Emma interaction will come for the second chapter. Promise. Hope you enjoyed and review!