Cas was dead. It was all Dean had been able to think about for the past week. They had been ambushed in an old warehouse, it was always an old warehouse wasn't it? Cas's grace had been failing and coming face to face with some rouge angels had just been too much. He had saved Deans life that day. It was such a shame he had barley seen him since he had been cured from being a daemon. He had never got the chance to really tell him properly he wasn't even sure he had known until he saw Cas fall to the ground. Holding him as the life drained out of him on the cold floor. He couldn't remember where the angels had gone, maybe Sam had sorted them out, it didn't really matter.

He rolled over in bed staring at the wall of the motel. Sam was down at the library researching he hadn't been able to bring himself to come. He reached for the bottle he had left on the bedside table from the night before. He set it down with a clunk after taking a long swig. He wished he could tell Cas what he felt for him, what did he feel for him? It seemed to stretch to more than brotherly love, if he was honest it felt more like just love. He couldn't help thinking about that tick beneath Cas's eye or the way his hair curled at the bottom of his neck, used to curl. Dean took another swig from the bottle.

He stood up facing the mirror before him he stared at his reflection his blood shot eyes and harsh breath. He couldn't bear to just sit here. He walked out of the door that clicked shut behind him. He considered leaving a note for Sam but remembered he had left the keys for the motel in the room, he had his car keys though.

He swung into the seat of the Impala. He was almost certain he was two drunk to drive but he didn't care at this point. He rammed the keys into the ignition missing the fist few times but eventually turning the tiny key and slamming his foot on the breaks. He did't know where he was going but spun dangerously out of the car park anyway. Everything felt like it was spinning as he began driving down the straight road out of town. His hands where shaking. His foot practically pushing the pedal flat. That's when he thought he saw him, Cas, he was just there on the side of the road. Dean swerved the car around looking for him and drove full speed into an oncoming lorry. Everything blacked out.

Suddenly Dean found himself lying warm and comfortable in bed being shaken awake by someone. Was he dead? He sat up. Cas was shaking him. He was defiantly dead.

"Are you alright Dean? I was sensing some distress." Cas said looking at him worriedly.

"Cas. Your ok." Dean said staring at him in astonishment. Before reaching over and pulling him into his arms.

"Cas am I dead?"

"No, why?" Cas said frowning.

"But then how can you be here," Dean asked now stroking down the sides of his trench coat.

"What are you talking about Dean."

"You were dead," Dean said his voice uncharacteristically high.

"Oh," Cas said relising what had happened. "It was a dream Dean, whatever happened, thats why I woke you up, you were having a nightmare."

"Oh," Dean looked down at himself where he was leaning over Cas then without thinking he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "I missed you," he said before kissing him again.