Hey I'm Rachel Barbra Berry. I'm sixteen. It's the last day of sophmore year, of highschool. I guess I don't really feel like Rachel Barbra Berry. Instead I feel like a man, I'm transgender.
It was when I was eleven I knew for sure who I was in my head. Not my apearance.
Today is the day. Today is when I tell my two fathers I'm Trans.
I walk out of school, everyone is saying their goodbyes. Talking about their summer plans.
I drive home, walk in the doors. I got out late after driving around. It was close to 6:00pm. I look around, seeing my fathers getting dinner ready.
I fall to the floor and burst out crying.
"I'm so sorry!" My dad Leroy runs to me.
"Honey! Whats wrong sweetheart?"
He holds me in his arms, while I shake, crying. Sobbing.
After a while in this position I get myself together, stop the tears.
I ask them if we could sit down at the table and talk. They agreed and sat down.
"I don't feel...'me'. I guess."
"What do you mean?" Hiram asked.
"I feel like a boy...I'm having gender issues." I started crying again.
"Honey...we still love you."
"Can I start going to a Gender therapist." They nodded. Held me in their arms. We talked about it and found a therapist for me.
Third Therapist/Doctor appointment;
I'm so happy today is my first testosterone shot. Also I got a haircut. Which was a medium lenth quiff.
"Okay. So I think you should start thinking of a name. Also, maybe start going by male pronouns, like, He, him, his. If you want to, of course" I nodded, agreeing.
"Well, I have been thinking of names. I chose to go by Raydon My fathers liked the name and agreed with me."
"That sounds good. Raydon." I smile at that last part.
"Okay so also this is your first shot of testosterone. We talked about what it was before. We deicided you were ready too, right?"
"Yes."
"Okay you will soon start doing this by yourself. But I will for now. You can do it anywhere, but for now I want you to only on the theigh."
He injects the shot in my leg. It didn't hurt that much.
"Okay. Raydan. Your free to go."
"Bye."
"Bye, I'll see you next week." He Smiled.
It's been three. month since I've been on testostosterone. Voice has gone down. I can't belt some notes like I used to, the high notes I can't sing. I starin on high pitches to sing and talk with. Which means it is working! Gosh, I'm so happy. Also I offically changed my name. I had to change it on my bank acoount, id stuff. Yeah just a bunch of things. It is Offically Raydon Justice Berry. My jaw line has gotten more visable, adam apple is bigger, hair line on my neck is more boxy less curved. My shoulder are more brought up in a box. My hips aren't as big. Weirdly my eye color has changed to a blue.
I haven't seen anyone from school, I'm nervous to when school starts up. How will people react? I don't know.
I got rid of everything in my room. I painted it just blank white. I put up some pictures of pictures of woods. Paintings and such. I got a new desk. Bed sheets, which are a plaid blue and grey. I got new clothing. Just changed everything, we told my exended family everything. Some accepted me, others did not. It's okay they can have their own lives. I just want to be happy, now I am.
People in Lima just ignored that I'm trans and just was okay with me being Raydon. Well mainly the adults. Russle Fabray blamed my parents for being gay. Which bothered me. Whos to say about the people at school, though? I really Quinn wont hate me. I've kinda loved her since she transfered to my middle school. She became so shut off and mean. Ordered slushies on me. The thing is I pretended to me a really out going person, pretending to be selfish, loving broadway. Thats all shit. I like to swear. I don't want to be a Broadway star. I want to move to Los Angelos. Become a actor. Win a Oscar. Or Emmy.
School starts up in a week.
I notice we need bread, milk, ect.. so drive to the store, looking around in the isles. I see one and only Quinn Fabray looking around. Shit shit shit. She will notice it's me. Damn it!
She looks over at me, a puzzle confused expression on her face. I forget the groceries and run out of there. Getting in the car, I let out a huge breath.
"That was really close." I state outloud.
I drive home. I started up weight lifting. To gain a less feminine look.
I work out for three hours. I take a fast cool shower. Get dressed and fall asleep.
dream;
I'm in school. It's morning. I feel something odd between my legs. As I'm walking down the halls, people stop their talking look at me and part ways for me to walk. What the hell?
Quinn comes walking towards me. Panicked I run to the restroom. Looking into the mirroir. I see a Tall handsome boy, icy blue eyes. White shirt...and a William Mckinley Highschool Letterman Jacket...What the actuall fuck is going on?
Quickly I go into a stall. I take my hand and pull down my pants and underwear. I have a penis? Holy shit.
I rush back out the bathroom. Running into someone. I look up, seeing a Blonde haired, Hazel eyed Cheerleader.
"Oh uh I- Um sorry?"
"Hey Raydon, why are you acting so odd?" She goes on her tip toes, kisses me on the lips. My eyes widden.
"Uh-Erm nothing, just tired, yeah but nothing."
"Oh okay. I heard Coach Beiste is making practices longer and harder."
"Yeah, that's why." I smile a little bit.
She leans in to kiss me one more time-
I wake up. Looking at my alarm clock.
"Shit!" I'm going to be late! School is today! The first day.
I jump out of bed, putting on. My binder, A white v-neck shirt, black skinny fit jeans, white and grey hoodie, a black cross, long necklas, yes I stoped being jewish and took up being a christian, my other father is christian. and black and green skate shoes.
Rushing to the bathroom, I take my hair gel and make my black hair stand up in a spikey look. Taking my comb and brush the front up.
Running down the stairs and jumping down at the bottom. I grab my skateboard with a golden eagle design, and I skate to school.
I get to school twenty minutes. I skate down the halls to my first class. Opening the door everyone stares at me. They wouldn't notice I'm their Rachel. I've changed that much. My nose actually fits and looks nice on my face now. Plus everyone is too dumb to notice anything.
"Raydon. It's the first day and your already late?" My teacher tells me.
"Sorry. Woke up late." I put my skateboard on the side of my desk and take my seet.
I day dreamed about Quinn through a lot of my classes. Now it's lunch.
I get the crap lunch food. Sit down at a empty table. Glee club kids walk over and sit by me.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?" Kurt asked me. It felt weird lying to them.
"Uh, yeah. Moved here over the summer."
"Okay, so whats your name?"
"Raydon."
"You should join our glee club, our best singer Rachel, we heard she moved away." Who started that rumor?
"Uh erm I can't really sing."I lied.
"Sure you can't just think about it." Kurt said.
"Okay, I'll think about it."
"Great, anyways what it your favorite type of music genre?"
"Uh I guess, rock, punkish pop, normal. Ya know whatever?"
"Um okay."
Lunch ended. Wait Quinn is in Glee. I should join! Wait- I haven't sang in like forever.
Glee is starting in a few minutes. I walked in the choir room. No one was there, well besides Mr. Shue.
"Hey!" Mr. Shue said to me.
"Oh uh hey. I was wondering if I could try out."
"Sure, do you have something in mind to sing? Glee starts soon, you could sing infront of them. I thought for a second. Why not.
"Yeah, I have something in mind."
People one by one started coming in till everyone was there.
"Okay, hello everyone. We have someone who would like to join! He is new. So whats your name?"
"Raydon." I saw Quinn. She was making eye contact.
I grabbed a guitar and started playing Pieces by Sum 41.
I Tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it.
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought I'd be easy, but no one believes me
I left all of the things that I said
If you believe it's in my souI I'd say all of the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own
I finished the song. Everyone was staring at me.
"Wow, Raydon. That-that was great." said.
"Thanks."
"Well, I think everyone agrees with me when I say, welcome to glee club!"
I nod and take a seat in the very back. Quinn infront of me. Next to Finn. Guess the got back together during the summer. I felt a pain of jealousy and anger in me. I listened partly to Mr. Shue this weeks lesson was to sing a duet with someone. He picked partners. Me and Quinn together. I smiled when he announced that. More time with Quinn. Shit will she realize who I really am? What if she tells the whole school. I'll be bullied forever.
Glee is the last thing in school. As I'm walking towarde the exit of the school, Quinn stops me.
"Oh hey." I said.
"Hello. So I was wondering if you could come to my house around five o'clock. For glee you know."
"Yeah-yeah sure."
"Oh here's me adresss." She writes it down and hands it to me. I smile and take it.
"See you at five!" I take my skateboard and skate home.
Duet...duet. What type of duet would we sing? I mean, like what if she figures it all out? I'd be screwed. I'm not ashamed of who I am. It's just Lima isn't exactly what you call accepting towards these things.
Five o'clock
I changed my clothes wearing a cotton white long sleeved shirt, sagging black skinny jeans, my black silver cross necklas, and of course wearing my binder.
I decide to take my black street sport motorcycle.
As soon as I get there, I look at the time. 5:04pm. Eh, not that late.
Walking up to the door, I observe the mansion. Very big, dark brown colored with some bricks on the front. Huge in genral. Even intimidating.
I knock on the door. Fear of Quinn realizing who I am. Fear of her parents hating me.
Soon the door flung open. Quinn. It was only Quinn.
"Hey." I simply say.
"Hello. Come in."
I walk in and notice the house looks beautiful. Very beautiful infact.
"How are you?"
"Good. I'm good."
"That's great."
"Anyways I never caught your last name." Shit. I had to lie.
"Um, Raydon...Raydon...Vogel. Raydon Vogel."
"Well I'm Quinn Fabray." She looked hot in her cheerio outfit. Does she wear it 24/7? I don't care. Looks fine by me. No she looks great...stunning...her legs. How tan they are. I get lost in her beauty. I found myself looking at her chest. She is so, so gorgous.
"Well, um anyways would you like anything to drink? Water, lemon water, milk, orange juice?"
"No thank you. I'm good." I reply to her.
"Okay, so would you like to sit down at the couch and talk about ideas?" Quinn suggests.
"Sure."
"So, do you like singing?"
"Yeah, It's good, I like to sing. Anyways I was wondering what type of genre of music you'd like to sing with the duet."
"Hmm...I was thinking a love song. They are nice to sing amd listen to." Woah...me and Quinn...Together singing a love song. I smile at the thought.
"Yeah. Yeah we should. You have an idea of songs to sing?"
"Hmm I don't know."
We took around thirty minutes talking of songs to sing.
Later we decided on one song. An Avril Lavigne song, the title Let Me Go
"So Raydon, you kinda look like someone I used know. Rachel Berry. She moved though. You guys have the same nose." She chuckled." Although she had these big brown eyes and brown hair, ypu have black hair and blue eyes. Plus your a guy." She ramled.
"Funny."
"Yeah, yeah it is. She was like our star. She seemed to be in love with Finn. Probably not though." Got that right. I'm not even interested in boys. I used Finn as a beard. Sadly. Wait I'm not even guilty of doing so.
"So who is your star now?"
"Well out of male stars, Finn sucks at singing. He strains notes a lot." Yup.
"So who would be the male star?"
"You, your like the best. With a female star, God, who knows?"
I nudge her gently"Maybe you." She laughs.
"No way in the world."
"Why not?"
"I'm no where near Rachel."
"So, Rachel is gone. Now there will be a new star. Different than Rachel."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"Yeah, maybe. Well I should get home."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. It's late."
"Oh yeah."
"Where's your parents?"
"Out of town."
"Oh." I felt bad.
"Eh, it's nothing."
"Okay." I decide not to bother her with questions.
It all of a sudden started pouring, I could barely see outside. Thunder went BOOM! Then we saw lighting fill the sky and light up the room with its whitish blue glow.
"I'm not going to let you go out on your motorcycle in this weather."
"So what am I going to do then?"
"Stay the night. We have a extra room."
"You sure, I wouldn't want to invade."
"It's okay. My parents will be gone this week and you wouldn't want me to be lonely."
"Okay, sure. I'll stay."
"Great. I have to go take a shower. Here is the guest room." She showed me the room. Right next to hers.
"Make yourself at home. I'll be out of the shower soon." I simply nod.
I went downstairs to grab my phone. I was on my phone for a while, I shut my phone off. Then went back upstairs. Not sure which room was the guest. Plus I could no longer hear the shower to tell which room was Quinns.
I guess and open a door. Only to see a very soaked naked Quinn. Panicked I shut the door and run to a bathroom locking the door.
"Shit shit shit. Fuck!" I whisper. Although seeing her naked, she was still so beautiful it made me want to cry.
I saw everything, everything. She will think I'm a pervert now. I never should have guessed which door was which! So stupid, how will I face her now?
After thinking I opened the door. Quietly going downstairs and grabbing my helmet. I turned around. Quinn, dressed this time was there.
"Look I'm so sorry. I went downstairs to grab my phone after a while I went back upstairs. This time I forgot which door was which, so I guessed, but it was room. You had just got out of the sorry and I- look I'm really sorry." I ramble and take in a big breath.
"It's fine. Lets avoid the awkwardness of the situation. Your still staying the night. I checked the raydar, the storm is only getting worse." I nod.
"You sure?"
"Positive."
"Okay." I let out a breath.
"Want to watch a movie." As soon as she said that, the power went out.
"Well, we can't now." I laugh.
"You're fun to talk with."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah"
"You're gorgous, you know."
She lets out a sigh."That's what everyone says, I don't even know if it's true. They only say that cause I'm Little Ms. Popular, to them. You know I'm more than just that."
"I know you're more than that."
"You barely even know me."
"I'd like to know more about you."
"I'd like that too."
"So what are you dreams? After highschool."
"I don't know. My parents think, well expect me to grow up, marry a rich high end guy, be a little trophy wife, do what he says, and what he says only. Although they don't say it lile that, but it is what they mean."
"Is that what you want?"
"No. What about you? What are you dreams?"
"To move to Los Angelos, become a famoue actor, star in many movies, live in Hollywood. Eventually get married, have children."
"Sounds nice. No collage?"
"No collage if my dreams don't come true maybe collage, and I don't even know if it'll happen. What if I'm not good enough?"
"I'm sure you will be. Just never give up on your dreams"
We continue talking after a few hours around eleven the lights come back on.
"Finally!" Quinn exclaimed.
I yawn.
"You tired?" Quinn asked.
"Yeah, you?"
"Yup."
I went to the guest room, Quinn to the room next door.
I get comfortable on the bed. Soon drifting to sleep.
I jump out of bed. Oddly finding a bat in the room, after hearing a blood curdling scream. I open the door, putting the bat infront of me. I open Quinn's door.
"Quinn!" I stage whisper.
"Y-yes?"
'What is wrong?"
"Nighmare..."
"Oh." I turn to leave.
"Wait!. C'could you lay with me?"
"Yeah."
I get in bed with her, me behind her, arms around her waist, chin on the curve of her neck and shoulder.
She cuddles into me.
I bite my lower lip. This felt...good? I wanted to be closer to her. I scooted a little towards her. Our bodies went so well together.
I let out a sigh and fall asleep again, this time feeling her warmth next to me.
I awake to smell...perfume? I feel a smaller body in my arms. I open my eyes to see a small blonde hair girl faced to me. it was Quinn. I instantly felt relaxed knowing it was her. I stared at her face. Thinking of how pretty she is.
Her eyes flutter open. Her hazel eyes meet mine. My cheeks felt hotter than normal. Hers go red too and match my own.
She smiles softly at me, I do the same.
"Hey, G'morning blondie."
"Morning."
"Can I make you breakfast?"
"You don't have to."
"I know, but I want to."
"Okay then."
I get up, walking towards the kitchen. All of a sudden it just hit me on what just happened. I woke up to Quinn, in my arms. We are just friends, though. Wait, are we even friends?
I look to see what they have. I make eggs, lots of bacon, and a big batch of blue berry pancakes.
When I finished, like it was on cue, Quinn came in. I can imagine, living in L.A., in a house. Me and Quinn dating, or married. I could wake up, cook breakfast. Yeah. That would be awesome.
"You still didn't have to do this."
"I know. But I wanted to. Sit down."
She sat down I served her breakfast. Then my own.
"Hmm, this is so good! How did you learn to make this?"
"I don't know." I shrugged.
"Well it's amazing."
"Thanks."
after breakfast I drove home, did my three hour workout. Did nothing really that day. It was a saterday anyways.
Three weeks later...
Me and Quinn became friends, hanged out a lot, tonight she invited me to dinner, the problem was her parents would be there. I'm freaking out. Wait, why am I freaking out? We are just friends. Yeah but you want more than 'just friends'.
She told me to wear something well dressed. And that they dine at seven pm. I chose a Black slim suit pants, black suit shirt, black slim tie, and a black suit jacket. So a full black suit.
I went to my bathroom, took gel, I make my hair go back in it's medium length quiff form, I looked in the mirror. I looked good.
I drove in my dads car to their place. I sat there in the car for a while. Finally getting up and knocking on the door.
It swung open.
"Hello. Mrs. Fabray."
Call me Judy! Come in, it must be cold out there." I walk in. Same house I went into three weeks ago.
"I uh got flowers." I handed the roses to her.
"Quinnie is here, I'll go put these is a vace. I nod.
I walked closer in, away from the doorway. I saw Quinn standing there. Stunning as usuall.
"Hey Ray."
"Hello Quinn." we greeted eachother.
After a while, dinner was ready. Everyone sat down, served themselves.
"So, are You and Quinn Dating?" Asked Judy.
I nearly choked on my food, thankfully Quinn stepped in.
"No, we are only friends." It kind of stug, her saying we are only friends.
"Yeah."
"That is all you will ever be too." Ruessel stated.
"Why is that Daddy?"
"I've seen It around town, wearing unfit clothing only for the disgusting people."
"I think I should go." I stood up and started walking.
"Raydon! Wait!" She followed me outside.
"Look, I'm sorry about him."
"No it's fine, just bye." I ran home, not looking back to hear what she was saying.
That's all I am? Disgusting? No. No I am not.
For the rest of the evening, I lay on my bed. Just pure thinking. Thinking...I soon fall asleep.
Well there is the first chapter!
I do not own glee, but I do own the story plot, and of course the grammer mistakes or any errors
I'll update soon
Bye