Disclaimer POT (Prince of Tennis) doesn't belong to me (like always).
This little story was something my friend dared me to write. It is VERY random, and might be funny depending on you're opinion.
Anyways enjoy!
Note: I didn't pick this subject matter, please do not think of me as a mentally insane person for writing this! Blame it on my friend! Ok...don't blame it on her! But it was just this random crack thingy we came up with!
It was a beautiful day in RikkaiDai, the birds were flying around the school and were NOT having seizures and everyone was happy and gay (as in happy).
Suddenly, a smelly old truck pulled up to the school and Osamu stepped out. Then the birds started having seizures and the sky started turning gray and dark and cloudy and stuff. Then it wasn't a beautiful happy day anymore.
Osama was like 'WTF IS GOING ON?!'
And then some kid with red eyes, let's pretend he's called Kirihara. Was like, "OMFG! WTF! A HOBO ARRIVED AT OUR SCHOOL!"
Osamu had like a WTF expression on his face. And was going to make a nasty remark back, but then he realized he was a hobo like dude. And his cool hat was something he found out of a trashcan and he spent all his money on beer and coached a bunch of brats who wouldn't listen to him back in Osaka. So he felt sad, but decided to give Kirihara the 'finger' because Kirihara's an annoying brat and he made him remember how crappy his life was.
And Kirihara glared at him and gave him the 'finger back' BUT with both his hands so there were like two middle fingers sticking out. And then Osamu got pissed at him because he wouldn't respect his elders, even though Osamu knew that if he was Kirihara he wouldn't respect some dude who didn't shave and looked like a junkie.
Ok…maybe not a junkie, but anyways. Osamu didn't know how to own this second year, so he started flipping him back, and soon a flipping war was going on.
Then the bell rang, and lunch began!
And then a bunch of students went outside and saw these two weirdos holding their hands in a weird way. And somehow it affected them because they got fried by the intensity of the battle and died. The only one who was alive was Sanada and he was like…Did Kirihara skip class again? And is that Kirihara's weird uncle with the dumpy hat?
And then somehow he wanted to feel important and he went up to the two and said, "Kirihara, I demand you and your weird uncle to tell me run 50 laps each for making strange hand signals that made those poor people die!" And he roared a bit, just for empathy.
They stared at him.
He stared back. And then Sanada started to feel foolish all of the sudden. And when you get foolish you get EMBARASSED. And when you get EMBARASSED you get a sudden urge to pee. So Sanada got a sudden urge to pee, and headed towards the restrooms.
"Those people were insignificant, and this guy isn't my uncle," Kirihara malevolently said after he left. "We're the real people in the fanfiction WE GET TO RULE THE WORLD!" He started to laugh the evil guy laugh that was like mwhahahaha. And you know that thunder comes from the sky when they do that laugh?-yeah that happened too. Because Kirihara was EVIL! BUT HE WAS CUTE! So he was EBIL.
But Osamu wasn't evil or ebil so he was staring at Kirihara as if he just saw an idiot dressed as a chicken walk by with an overlarge egg omlet. But that didn't happen of course, but you get the point.
"You're weird as in an idiot dressed as a chicken walking by with an overlarge omlet weird," Osamu said.
Kirihara glared at him. "Who are you!" he asked.
"I am…" He gave a dramatic pause. "OSAMU!!!!!!!!!" (We added all those explanation marks for empathy that he is OSAMU!!!!!!!!!)
"Who's Osamu?" Kirihara demanded.
Osamu was shocked that this…brat..didn't know who he was. "Have you ever heard of Shitenhouji Chuu tennis team?" he said dramatically.
"Yeah, Sanada-fukubuchou said we wooped them last year 3-0!" Kirihara said properly. "Why, what about them?""Nothing," Osamu lied, and felt sad because his team was wooped by some random brat's team. And laughed nervously, "This isn't Hyotei Gakuan?"
"No." said Kirihara queerly, but since he's always queer just pretend that he is extra QUEER!
"So this isn't where Oshitari Yuushi goes to school? Or that weird dude who shaved his hair? Or the other weird dude who cut his hair when he was beaten by that dude called Tachibana?" "No," Kirihara said, and went into his red eye mode. Ok, he was already in his red eye mode, but when he heard Tachibana he felt as if he could explode the world into 500000000000 billion pieces, fly, rob a McDonalds, eat a burger, drink some diet soda because he didn't want to gain weight, and kill Tachibana Kippei ALL AT THE SAME TIME! OMFG….OMFG…..OMFG….FANFICTION ROCKS! Anyways…back to the story…
And since every story has a really bad part, ok, maybe our story had like way too many bad parts we're going to add the dramatic music right now because this is an especially bad part and because we forgot to in the other bad parts.
Ok so.
-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUUUNNNGGG-
Kirihara was fuming, and was glaring at Osamu. Osamu glared back for a few seconds but his eyes got all watery. And since he's an adult as in OLDER than Kirihara; he didn't want to lose and get laughed at so he coolly put his hat down more, so it covered his eyes, and sat lazily on the bench. (OK THEY DECIDED TO LEAVE THE BLACKGROUND AND DECIDED TO SIT ON THE BENCH FOR ALL WHO WERE CONFUSED.)
Anyways Osamu got bored with doing this and fell asleep, and Kirihara was still staring at him with his hateful red eyes. Which are like one of the X-Men's laser eyes but not really.
(Ok, we decided to warn you about the really horrible part)
Kirihara had stared at Osamu for 2 hours, and his eyes got realy really REALLY watery. He skipped most of his classes like always, but his teachers didn't really care today because a bunch of students had been fried to death by some random force of nature. And because they're professional they all crammed into the principal's office and called the police, the National Guard, the Minister of War to wage war on this random force of nature, all the ambulances in Kanagawa, Yanagi Renji because he's like smart and has like a bunch of data on useless shit that might be helpful, a diabetic because they're not biased to who they invite, a monk for various reasons, Kirihara's REAL CRAZY UNCLE, and omfg…they INVITED SANADA, because he had been sitting in a toilet in the GIRL'S BATHROOM FOR OVER 2 HOURS and might have the details to what happened.
And because he's Sanada he had on the expressionless hard face, even though he had been sitting in the Girl's Bathroom for 2 hours. Oh and they also invited a bunch of news people so they could like get RikkaiDai more famous then ever! So basically the deaths of the students weren't so tragic! They were just good media coverage.
But the sad part was…that Kirihara had to end his staring contest and went bawling like a little girl into the BOY'S RESTROOM unlike Sanada. And he deactivated his red eye mode. Then a weird kid popped out of nowhere. And he had red eyes. Kirihara was like '……' his expression was like '……'
The kid was like 'I hate you.' But not really.
"I am Uchiha Sasuke." He said in a cold dark voice that only Uchiha Sasuke could project.
"OK…." Kirihara said, he had a lot of weird (and painful) experiences that day, so he wasn't PARTICULARLY worried about this Uchiha dude. And his expression was still like '……..'
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" Sasuke screamed like a little sissy who was holding her favorite toy which was a paper fan for all of you who wanted to know.
"Um…Ok…" Kirihara was still like '….' He was kind of afraid now…BUT NOT REALLY. He just thought that this Sasuke dude was like weird. Yes. Kirihara actually thought that someone was weird.
"DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!" Sasuke screamed like a sissy again-you know the one with the fan?
"No…" Kirihara said slowly. He didn't think he made the right decision to say that because Sasuke had that 'I will kill you look' on his face.
"I will kill you," Sasuke muttered.
"What?!" Kirihara lost his '….' Expression and went into panicky mode like he always does when he's with Sanada. Except it wasn't Sanada. It was a kid who was wearing a black robe with a fan taped on the back of it.
"YOU ACTIVATED SHARIGAN! THEREFORE YOU MUST BE ITACHI! I WILLLL KILLL YOU!" Sasuke screamed like the little sissy with the fan again and it made him sound like a sissy who was holding a toy fan with a bad accent. Because the little sissy with the toy fan is a cute little girl…And Sasuke isn't well, that cute or little.
Kirihara was like "WTF IS GOING ON!-I MUST RUN TO GET AWAY FROM THIS CRAZY IDIOT!' So he started to run out of the Boy's Restroom and into the media crowd who were like busy filming Kirihara because he was getting fireballs thrown at him by this weird guy in a robe who has red eyes.
But then they all got fried up and died because of Sasuke's aura. Except Sanada and Kirihara's crazy uncle because they're significant, BUT I have no clue why they were there. So let's pretend Sanada was showing Kirihara's crazy uncle around the school specifically the Boy's Restrooms in case Kirihara's crazy uncle had to use the restroom. And Sanada was also badassing about Kirihara at the same time to Kirihara's crazy uncle (ok we decided to call him KKU as in KIRIHARA'S KRAZY UNCLE!!! GET IT 'KRAZY?' LOL, back to the story). Ok so after the newsreporters died, Sanada ran to the nearest bathroom and this time he actually got into the Boy's Restoom not the Girl's. But unfortunately he ditched KKU by the tree.
Anyways that tree just happened to be next to Osamu's bench. And it was depressing because OSAMU HAD SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. And then he finally woke up to find there were two dozen people fried into a deep crisp. And then he glanced and saw KKU who happened to look like a hobo WITH BLUE HAIR!!!!
With blue hair…
It dawned onto Osamu that he was supposed to go to Hyotei Gakuan and pick up Oshitari Kenya's cousin Yuushi. But he accidently went to RikkaiDai instead of Hyotei Gakuan and accidently kind of caused the deaths of so many people. By getting into a flipping fight with Kirihara, which triggered Kirihara's red eye mode. Which made Uchiha Sasuke come to their world and kill so many people. But since Osamu doesn't know about Uchiha Sasuke, he'll just supposed Kirihara killed all those people. And since he feels bad for himself, Osamu just blamed the whole thing on Kirihara and went to his old truck and drove to pick up Kenya's cousin.
As for Kirihara…he somehow managed to get rid of the weird guy who screams like a sissy holding a fan whose name is Uchiha Sasuke-who wears a robe.
As for Uchiha Sasuke…we'll never know. Only KKU will.
The theme of the story is: Don't talk to random people who look like hobos, smell like beer, wearing floppy hats, saying something about Shitenhouji, and who flip people off.
Also if you meet someone called Uchiha Sasuke or someone who screams like a sissy with a toy fan, run. Or give him/her cookies.
If you meet KKU just run.
If you meet Kirihara piss him off. It will be fun. Though he WILL be annoying. And you'll just end up ditching him.
The true theme is: DON'T TALK BACK TO STRANGERS.
Its Osamu's fault he replied to Kirihara.
And its Kirihara's fault he replied to Sasuke.
And the result was they caused deaths of lots of insignificant people.
I don't know if I should leave it as a one-shot...Should I leave it as a one shot?-or write more stuff?
o.o