Michael was smiling at the vision of his son playing with some friends in the park. They had come here to eat ice cream together but had quickly found some of Artie's friends and he had let him run off with them. Now he was sitting on a bench, watching them from far away. It was bittersweet because he could see that his son wasn't depending on him anymore. Artie wasn't here anymore asking for his dad to go with him on the swings or to help him feed the ducks. Michael really couldn't believe how much he had grown.
He sighed and turned his gaze away from him. It had been a perfectly innocent gesture, which meant he hadn't been prepared in any way for what he saw when his gaze shifted to the trail where his bench was. Not that far away, and getting closer every second, was the redhead who had broken his heart so many times. She was holding the hand of a little girl with golden locks and looking more amazing than she ever had. He noticed he had stopped breathing when he had seen her and suddenly had to let go of all the air he had been holding in before fainting. In a few seconds she would raise her eyes and see him. The thought of it made his heart clench. After five years without seeing here, it was as if nothing had changed.
He was right. A few seconds later she raised her eyes. Her jaw dropped and she instantly stopped walking. She couldn't believe that it was really him in front of her. So many feelings were rushing through her head that she wasn't able to do or say anything. Their eyes locked, as they used to do, and nothing was said. They were both trying to deal with the feelings they were currently experiencing.
But little Anna hadn't noticed what her mother was looking at and couldn't understand why they had stopped so abruptly. She tugged at her mother's hand. "Mummy, why are we stopping ?"
Julia suddenly realized she had frozen. She didn't want for her daughter to ask too many questions about what had just happened and why she was looking at that man like that, so she thought she might just move on to somewhere else in the park, as if nothing had happened. But she couldn't just ignore him either. She lowered herself to her daughter's level without letting go of her little hand and offered her a big smile. "I thought you might want to play there in the sand. Look, they are plenty of other kids you could play with. I'll be watching you. What do you think ?"
It didn't take much more convincing for little Anna to step into the sand and start playing with it. After all that was why they had wanted to go to the park. Julia smiled at her daughter's excitement and got back on her feet. She then turned to face Michael, still unsure of what to say. "Michael. Hi."
He smiled to her. He had watched the little scene between mother and daughter, and it had made his heart flutter. It wasn't anything but it reminded him of how much he loved her and how caring she could be. He didn't know she had another child. Maybe the adoption had finally paid off. But this little girl looked too much like her for it to be a coincidence. They were definitely related. However he couldn't recognize Frank in her, but maybe it was because he couldn't quite remember every feature of the man he had envied so much. "Hi." He looked at her standing there, unsure of what to do. "Do you want to sit ?" He gestured towards the bench he was currently sitting on. He figured that if she had sent her daughter to play, it was because she wanted to sit and talk with him. But maybe he was just dreaming. The whole situation still seemed a bit unreal.
As a reply she smiled and sat down. It was awkward. They had left things unresolved five years ago. He had seen she wanted to work on fixing her family and that she couldn't do it with him around, so after Boston he had told Eileen that he couldn't work on this project anymore and tried to avoid the lyricist ever since. After a while it wasn't because he was letting her fix her marriage anymore, he knew she had gotten a divorce less than a year after Boston. He had found out about it by someone he had been working who had gone on a date with her. It had been organized by one of their mutual friend, probably to help her get over her divorce. Michael had seen from the start that it wouldn't work. He knew her well enough to know that. But he hadn't said anything because he didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Every time he had, he had ended up getting hurt. His family had fallen to pieces and his heart had been broken. And now he was there, on a bench, with her.
Julia decided to break the silence. She couldn't handle it. "So, what are you doing here, in the park ?"
"I came with Artie but he ran off with some of his friends, abandoning me here."
She chuckled at the false despair he was showing, even if she knew from experience that there was a part of truth in it. Gladly for her, Anna hadn't reached that age yet. "How old is he now ?"
"Eight."
"Gosh, I hadn't realized it had been so long since the last time we saw each other." She was lying. Of course she knew. Anna was a living reminder. Every time they would celebrate her daughter's birthday she would think that another year had gone by without seeing her father. She hadn't even told him he was Anna's father. She hadn't had the guts to take her phone and dial his phone number. It was much more easier to try and forget him. At first she had tried to say that the baby was Frank's but he had been more and more suspicious and eventually they had made a paternity test. When he had seen what she already knew, he had said that it was too much for him to handle and they had gotten a divorce. It hadn't been too awful. They both knew their marriage wasn't working anymore anyway. Strangely she was fine with it now. She was just a little bit anxious about when Anna would start asking questions about her father, but they weren't there yet.
"I did realize." It slipped away from him. He hadn't meant to say it aloud. It was just adding to the tension already there between the two of them.
"Actually I did too." She didn't know why she had said it. Maybe because he sounded honest and she didn't want to lie anymore. There was already too much information she was holding back.
They looked at each other in silence, wondering if what they had just admitted meant something. Finally it was Julia who broke the silence. She knew that if she just kept looking into his eyes she would fall back for him, and she wouldn't want for that to happen, would she ?
"So I guess things got better with Artie and Monica if he is there with you." It was obvious it would have, especially since five years had passed, but she needed to say something, no matter what it was.
"Yeah. She came back to New York and now we share custody. I get to have him one week out of two. But I heard you got a divorce. You probably know the joy of shared custody too."
She bit the inside of her cheek. Why had she brought the conversation on such a touchy subject ? She tried to find an answer that wouldn't sound too weird but she wasn't really sure she could manage. Maybe she could just avoid talking about Anna. "Well, not really... Leo is in college now. He is too old for us to talk about custody. We don't see him that much. Sometimes he comes back to see one of us on the weekend..."
"I was thinking of Anna."
Of course he was. There was really no way she could avoid his question without it sounding weird so after a few seconds she just replied in a way that sounded final. "I have full custody of Anna."
He was surprised and wanted to find out more, but noticed she wasn't willing to talk about it. He didn't want to be unpleasant so he just dropped the subject.
He could talk about work. They both liked their work and since they were both in the Broadway industry they liked to hear what the other was doing. It was a small world so usually everyone knew everything about what was going on in it but he hadn't heard anything about Julia recently, even if he was always paying attention in case her name popped into the conversation. "So, what are you working on lately ? I haven't heard anything."
Her face lightened up and he knew he had found the right subject. "That's because Tom and I are trying to keep a low profile. We are working on a show right now but we're taking our time. We want it to be perfect, and I think it's already pretty good. When people know you're writing something they want to produce it right away and rush you to finish the book and the songs quickly. Like with Marilyn. Moreover I have to take care of Anna, it takes a lot of my time. Tom and Sam adopted a baby last year so Tom has a lot to do too."
"That's great, I hope I'll see it on Broadway one day. Might I ask what it's about ?"
"That's a secret." She grinned, apparently talking about Broadway had put her in a playful mood.
"Not even one piece of information ?"
"None. And don't think your big blue eyes will change anything about my resolution. I promised Tom I wouldn't tell anyone."
"Well, I guess I will have to wait until you're done then. Give my congratulations to Tom about the baby."
"I will." She probably wouldn't. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk to Tom about the fact that she spoke with Michael. He would read too much into it.
"Great."
"And you ? I heard you were doing Rent."
"Yeah, I play Roger. We're opening in two weeks. You should come."
"I might. Tom and I wanted to check it out. I haven't seen it in a long time."
"The cast is amazing, it's really worth it."
"You're in it, of course it's amazing." She gave him a mocking smile.
"Don't you dare mock me." He was now showing a playful smile too.
"But I'm not." She chuckled.
He was glad the tension was gone. He had always promised himself that if he was to see her again he wouldn't ruin it. He would be pleasant and enjoy it.
Further in the park Artie caught a glimpse of his father talking with someone. He stopped running and squinted his eyes to get a better look at who it was. He had always been wondering why his father never went out with women, like his best friend's father (who was also divorced) was doing. He had asked his mother, not knowing it wasn't really something he should be discussing with her, and she had told him that it was because he couldn't have the woman he was in love with. He hadn't understood what she had meant by that but hadn't asked anything further. Was the woman on the bench the woman he loved ? She did look like the one he had seen on the picture in the drawer of his dad's bedside table. He hoped she was because it would mean that his father might actually not be that alone.
Michael and Julia talked for a while about Broadway. They talked about the shows currently on, the ones that would be opening soon, the ones they wished would come back. They talked about writers, about producers and about the directors they had worked with. Michael laughed a lot at every anecdote Julia had to tell about Derek losing it during the final weeks before the opening of Marilyn. They were back in a friendly place and it felt good for the both of them.
Michael took advantage of a little silence in the conversation to take a chance. "Come to dinner with me tomorrow night."
Julia's face suddenly changed and her smile faded. She didn't say anything in reply.
"You know we work well together. I really want that and so do you." It could have seemed arrogant but it wasn't. It was just the plain truth and they both knew it.
"You don't know what I want." She had said to make him stop, even if it wasn't true. She wanted to go and have dinner with him. She would actually never have thought she would want it so badly. But she wasn't sure it was a good idea, nothing good had ever come of a dinner with him.
But he wasn't ready to give up. He was now sure that they were meant to be and he couldn't let her go once again. Not when fate was always putting them back together. The fact that he couldn't live his life without their roads crossing had to mean something.
"We're both single this time. Nothing is keeping us from doing this."
"And by this you mean... ?"
"The whole thing. I love you, Jules. I always have and I always will. Don't you ?"
She avoided the question but he already knew the answer anyway. "I don't think I can do this."
"Do you prefer that we keep running into each other every five years and keep missing each other ?"
"No..." It wasn't above a whisper. She was slowly letting go of her reservations.
They were interrupted by Anna's voice coming from the sandbox. She wanted her mother to see the sand castle she had made. Julia barely looked at it and said it was amazing. It seemed to be enough for the little girl though, so Julia turned back her attention to Michael. She wanted to know where this conversation would lead them.
"Jules, I really do love you. I want for us to be a couple. I wish we could have a family together, even it's probably too late." He suddenly saw a shadow crossing her face. Maybe he was going too far, he was scaring her. "I'm sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself, I don't even know if you want to go on a date with me. It's just that I want to show you that I'm all in."
She shook her head. No, he wasn't getting ahead of himself. She couldn't believe what she was about to say, but she thought that it was now or never. "Actually, you're not really getting ahead of yourself. Anna... she's yours. We have a family."
His jaw dropped. He couldn't quite realize what she had just said. He shifted her gaze from her to the little girl in the sandbox. She was his daughter. He didn't know how to feel about this. Should he be mad that Julia hadn't told him sooner ? or just embrace the fact that she had told him now and that this wonderful girl was his ? He decided to go with the second one. The first one wouldn't lead him anywhere he wanted to be. It would just make a mess out of it, whereas everything could be simple.
Julia was looking at him anxiously. She had thought about how this might go for a while now but hadn't really thought it would actually happen. When she finally saw a smile spread across Michael's face she knew it would be okay. She was excited about all the possibilities this encounter was opening for them. Maybe they really could do this. Apparently love was still there but the bad circumstances weren't anymore. She couldn't believe they were really about to do that.
When he turned his head she could see little tears in the corner of his eyes. But they were from joy, there was no doubt about that. He took both of her hands in his and looked straight at her. "So. Are we really doing this ?"
"I think we are."
They both leaned towards each other to kiss, under the happy eyes of Artie who had tried not to miss anything that might happen between the two of them. Her dad seemed really happy and he couldn't wait to meet that nice-looking lady.
At that moment Julia and Michael were both thinking exactly the same thing. It had taken them fifteen years, but it was worth it. This time they wouldn't ruin it. This time everything would just be perfect. This time they would only be happy.