A/N: Another random roll on the Crack Pairings Thread. By this fic I was a bit more confident and was starting to try new things, but I was still inexperienced, which shows, as they didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. I obviously still needed more practice.
Disclaimer: The Order of the Stick is the property of Rich Burlew aka The Giant, not me.
"I can't believe that that Xykon is going to be travelling with that one-eyed, green-skinned, oddly medium-sized, goblinoid, while I am forced to "scout ahead" at Crackle's Gate, or whatever his name was." thought Tsukiko to herself, "I mean he's totally trying to cosy-up to try and make up for losing the phylactery." Dwelling on such things did not do much for one's sense of direction however, and soon Tsukiko looked down and cried "The Ocean! How in all that is minimalistic and two-dimensional did I get here?" Luckily for her there was land visible on the horizon and she descended upon the sandy beach. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something that always got her excited. It was a large tombstone. "Alright, exactly what I need. Something to occupy myself while I'm away from my precious Xykie." she mused to the nausea of everyone capable of knowing her thoughts. The tombstone was large and ornate. It depicted a human brandishing a greatsword whilst standing atop two dragon heads with x's for eyes. "Here lies Horace Greenhilt, Hero of Reddragonsville at the site of his final battle."
"He'll do." she said before digging up and opening the coffin and crying "Animate dead." A zombie arose from the coffin.
"Brains." it said.
"Come on honey." giggled Tsukiko, "I'm going to give you something even better than brains."