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** SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE SERIES UP TO & INCLUDING OVA 2 **
BASED ON MANGA VOL. 18
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Awakening
By Moonsong
tsukinouta@yahoo.com
Taka pushed the wood-framed door open silently and paused. Inside
the room, Miaka, his love, his heart, lay unconscious from the
last enemy attack. A man, whose face was identical to his own,
hovered by her bedside, holding her hand gently, mutely pleading
for her to awaken.
Tamahome. A name he had heard more frequently than he cared to
think about. A man whose memories he had held until they had been
stolen from him. The man he used to be... or so he had been told.
But now, it was obvious that he couldn't possibly be Tamahome.
Not when the man was sitting there in front of him. They shared
the same build, the same face, the same friends, and a deep love
for the woman lying in the bed in front of them. Miaka.
~ Oh desert speak to my heart
Oh woman of the earth ~
Taka's heart ached. Now that Tamahome, the real Tamahome was
here,
there was no need for him anymore. An empty shell. That's all he
was. The shadow of a great Suzaku seishi. Someone to take
Tamahome's place with Miaka and the others until the real one had
awakened from his divinely imposed slumber. And now that the
warrior had returned, it was time for him to go. To leave her.
Even though it broke his heart.
Half of him raged in anger. How DARE the gods play with him like
this? He was a human being! With feelings and emotions. Suzaku
had
just ripped him out of his life, forced him in the midst of this
absurd situation and made him fall in love, only to wrench
everything he had fought for away from him. It wasn't FAIR! He
had
more of a right to life than these people who were only
characters
in a book!
THAT thought halted him right there. Recent memories replayed
through his mind- Hotohori, who'd died saving his country and
never had the chance to hold his son in real life; Tasuki, who'd
near committed suicide at the thought of betraying his dearest
friends; Chichiri, who'd lived such a painful life and still
managed to be their rock when everything went to hell. The
others,
Nuriko, Mitsukake, Chiriko; while he no longer had first hand
memories of them, he knew of their heroic sacrifices to protect
them all.
More right to live? No. They were far more honorable than he and
thus deserved far more. He had only been a vessel after all. A
shadow. He'd never done anything great or important. He was
just...
Taka.
~ Maker of children who weep for love
Maker of this birth ~
'Suzaku-seikun, please let me be strong,' he prayed, shutting his
eyes against the tears that threatened to spill. 'Grant me the
strength to do what's right. For her.'
He took a deep breath and stepped into the room. "How is she?" he
asked softly.
The other man smiled. "She's fine. She's sleeping."
Taka nodded in relief. "I... I'm going back home. To that world,"
he
said after a moment.
Tamahome faced him in surprise. "What?"
"Now that you're back, there's no need for me to be here any
longer. There's no need to look for the stones..."
"Are you sure?"
~ 'Til your deepest secrets are known to me
I will not be moved ~
Instead of answering, Taka took the ring, his and Miaka's wedding
ring off his finger. 'Steady, man. You can do this. You HAVE to
do
this...' He studied the ring, already missing its familiar
presence.
With trembling hands, he blindly offered the prize in the
direction of the bed. "This... this belongs to you."
Tamahome's eyes widened. " This... is from the wedding ceremony
with
Miaka before the fight with Nakago... Thank Suzaku!! I was
looking
all over for that!" he exclaimed. "Are you sure?" he asked again.
Before his tears fell, Taka nodded and turned abruptly to leave
the room. He was halfway out the door when a hand on his shoulder
stopped him.
"Thank you." He heard the other man say behind his back. "Thank
you for being with Miaka in my place."
"You're... welcome." Taka choked without turning his head. He
felt
the pressure on his shoulder disappear and continued out the door
at a fast walk. And didn't look back.
~ I will not be moved ~
Hurriedly, before he could change his mind, he headed to Tasuki's
room and picked up Miaka's beeper. The gadget glowed with a faint
reddish light. It was time to go.
"Taka! What do you think you're doing?"
Taka spun around. Before him stood the six remaining Suzaku
seishi, on their faces a mixture of shock and confusion.
Taka laughed nervously. "I'm going home..."
Hotohori advanced slowly. "Without Miaka? Have you lost your wits
completely?"
~ Don't try to find the answer
When there ain't no question here ~
"I... I was only a shadow, remember? Now that the real Tamahome
is
here, he and Miaka can call Suzaku. Then everyone will be
reborn!"
The seishi remained unconvinced.
"So... you just plan on disappearing alone?" Nuriko countered.
"You're just going to run away from him?"
"It's better this way... I'm... not the man you thought I was."
Hotohori's eyes widened in shocked surprise. "Were you not the
one
who allowed me to hold Boushin?"
"That's right!" Nuriko broke in. "Wasn't it YOU who endured pain
to the point of pushing aside my superhuman strength? Just so you
could be with her?"
"You... you risked your life along with Tasuki to save me..."
Chichiri added.
Tasuki, who had frozen at the initial realization of what Taka
was
doing, broke out of his daze. "Wasn't... wasn't it you..."
Taka met his gaze sadly, his eyes pleading with him not to
continue. 'Don't, Tasuki,' he begged silently, 'don't make this
any harder than it already is.'
"It was... you..."
'Don't...'
~ Brother let your heart be wounded
And give no mercy to your fear ~
Suddenly Tasuki's eyes widened and he faced Taka accusingly. "It
was you! You believed in me... and cried when you saved me!"
Taka dropped his head in a mixture of shame and remorse. Tasuki
advanced and shook his friend's shoulders violently.
"What happened? Didn't you say that your feelings for Miaka would
never change?"
Gently, Taka broke away and stepped back, head still down.
"Taka, I believe you are the real Tamahome! The symbol... the
power...
they don't matter!" Chiriko whimpered.
Raising his head, Taka gazed at his friends one last time. "Take
care, everyone," he whispered, "and thank you... for
everything..."
A familiar red light surrounded him and bathed him in its warmth.
Tasuki reached for him. "Tama..."
"Wo ai ni..."
Tasuki broke into a run. "Don't go!"
It was too late. The red mist cleared, taking Taka with it. The
flame-haired bandit collapsed to the ground and raised his voice
to the sky. "TAMAHOME!"
~~~~~
~ Adam and eve live down the street from me
Babylon is every town ~
Taka materialized in Keisuke's room, his heart already regretting
what he had just done. 'It's for the best,' he repeated over and
over, 'I was never meant to be with them...'
Pushing himself up from the floor, he silently surveyed his
surroundings. 'I should get home before their Mom gets here...
wait
a minute...' he smacked his forehead and chuckled derisively, 'I
don't HAVE a home! It was destroyed by that guy trying to be a
god
who's really a fictional character and who's not supposed to even
exist in the first place! Ha ha ha!'
This was good. He was really losing it. In fact, the entire
situation was making him nearly hysterical. Whether from grief,
or
pain, or joy... it didn't really matter anymore. Nothing mattered
now that he had left her. His mock revelry carried him to the
full-length mirror on one side of the room. He gazed at the
mirror, shocked for a moment, then released one last chuckle
before collapsing against the cool glass in despair.
"You're so pathetic, you don't even deserve to have a
reflection,"
he addressed the transparent space in the mirror that should have
held his image.
It came without warning. Taka's head snapped up and saw his face
in the mirror... but it was not his face. It was Tamahome's. He
flinched back automatically but found out his hands were glued to
the mirror. He was trapped.
~ It's as crazy as it's ever been
Love's a stranger all around ~
"You're so stupid, Taka," his "twin" mocked. "Whatever possessed
you to go back?"
For the first time since his return, Taka wondered if he had made
a horrible mistake. "Who are you?"
The figure in the mirror laughed derisively. "You still don't get
it, do you? I hold the memories and powers of your previous self.
I got them from something the present you lost..."
Taka's eyes widened. 'The stones...' With an anguished cry he
faced
the apparition. "You BASTARD!"
It chuckled back at him. "Such a way to speak to yourself...
Those
stones are in me now. That makes you the fake!"
"NOOOO!!"
~ In a moment we lost our minds here
And lay our spirit down ~
Behind them, the door to the bedroom opened and closed. "Taka?"
In the mirror, Tamahome grinned. "Ah, Keisuke. It's been a
while..."
Keisuke gazed at the apparition wide-eyed. "T-tamahome?"
"Surprised to see me? Oh, by the way, Miaka's here with me now. I
don't think she's coming back..."
"Damn you!" Taka screamed, struggling against the mirror.
Tamahome laughed again. "It's too late for that. So long Taka!"
With a flash, the mirror cracked and he was gone, taking with him
the invisible bonds holding Taka. He slumped to the floor, blood
dripping freely from random cuts all over his body caused by the
glass shards.
Keisuke hurried to his side. "What happened? Why did Tamahome
break my mirror?"
Taka shook his head. That was the least of his problems.
"Keisuke, I have to find a way back... to warn them. Miaka's in
danger!" He took out the pager and jabbed at it furiously.
"Dammit, it's not working!"
~ Today we lived a thousand years
All we have is now ~
Taka shot up. "I've got to get to her!"
~ Run to the water
And find me there
Burnt to the core but not broken
We'll cut through the madness
Of these streets below the moon
With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~
~~~~~
Meanwhile back in Konan, Miaka was waking up. The first thing she
saw was Tamahome's worried face hovering closely above her. She
smiled at first, reaching a hand out to touch her beloved's face,
but then stopped. There was something different about him. She
couldn't place exactly what it was. He looked the same, sounded
the same, even smelled the same... but there was something
missing...
Suddenly, Miaka shot up. "Taka! Where is he?" Panic rising, she
tried to force her way past Tamahome.
"Shh," he soothed, gathering her into his arms. "He's okay. He
said he was going back."
Her eyes widened with fear. "Nani?!?!"
She pulled away and searched her former lover's eyes. "No, he
wouldn't have! He wouldn't have left without me!"
Tearing away, she jumped off the bed and ran outside calling
Taka's name. "Taka! Where are you?! TAKA!!"
Before she could get very far, a strong hand grabbed her arm
sharply causing her to cry out in pain. His quarry captured,
Tamahome forced her back into the room, using his body to shield
her escape. Miaka stared at him wildly, one arm held up between
them as if to ward him off.
"Miaka! Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked brokenly.
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
Miaka blinked. Why was she so afraid? This was Tamahome. Her true
love. The one she had yearned for all those months and now he was
standing before her. What was wrong?
~ And I will never leave you
'Til we can say, "this world was just a dream" ~
Tama noticed her expression become more reflective and pressed
his
advantage. "Taka left when he realized he was just a shadow. He
even left me this." Smiling softly, he held out his hand, showing
her the ring.
Miaka's eyes widened.
"I tried to stop him, he continued, "but he was adamant." He
gazed
at her tear-streaked face. "Should I have woken you?"
No response.
"Miaka?" Concerned, Tamahome took her hand and led her to the
bed.
"Look... for now lie down and relax. I'll stay with you."
Miaka allowed herself to be led to the bed. She gazed at his
worried face once more, searching. 'I see... this man...
Tamahome... the warrior from the book, "The Universe of the Four
Gods," the man I loved. After I asked Suzaku... I believed that
he
was reborn to my world... but... then... what about Taka? His
heart... his
existence...'
Tamahome studied her features, her emotions plainly warring on
her
sweet face. He sat next to her and gathered her in his arms. "I
understand how you feel but I'M here now. You don't need him
anymore. I'M the one who loves you."
She didn't answer so he tried another tactic. "Suzaku-seikun said
he should be able to regain his powers after you and I are
linked.
Once he has, he should be able to seal Tenkou and everyone will
be
happy." Gently, he placed a hand under her chin, drawing her face
to his. "WE can be happy..."
Finally, a spark flashed in her eyes. "Y-you're right."
~ We were sleepin' now we are awake
'Til we can say ~
Tamahome smiled and inched closer. "Wo ai ni, Miaka."
Their lips met.
~~~~~
"Dammit, Keisuke! I HAVE to get back there! They're all in
danger!
And Miaka... Miaka..." The mention of his love brought Taka to
tears.
'I WILL return for you Miaka,' he vowed silently. 'No matter
what,
I'll find a way to rescue you.'
"I'm sure Miaka will know he's a fake," Keisuke soothed. "You
guys
were..." he coughed, uncomfortable with the thought of his sister
being with anyone. He turned away and picked up the phone to call
Tetsuya.
Taka paced the room, oblivious to the blond's discomfort. "That's
not the thing. When I was reborn into this world, my memories as
Tamahome were sealed into seven crystals and given to each of the
seishi. In order to defeat Tenkou, I have to gather them all and
get my memories back. But after we had gotten five, Tenkou stole
them and, my best guess is infused them into another one of his
demons who's now parading around as me!" He faced Keisuke, eyes
misting over again. "In a sense, he's more 'me' than I am...
but...
but Miaka has to be with ME!"
~ In a moment we lost our minds here
And dreamt the world was round ~
Keisuke set the phone back on the receiver and faced his frantic
friend. "Tetsuya said he'd drive over here with Yui-chan right
away." At Taka's tearful nod, he began gathering their things.
"We have to get you out of here before my mom comes home."
Taka nodded again. "Gomen, Keisuke... for always being a
nuisance..."
Keisuke stopped in his tracks and studied the other man. A few
stray tears still crept down Taka's cheeks, mingling with the
blood from various cuts on his face. With his torn clothing and
mussed appearance, he really looked like he'd been through the
wars. His eyes held all of hell in them, their dark depths
burning
with worry and frustration for his lover and friends, and an
intense, deep hatred for their enemy. At that moment, any doubts
as to how deeply Taka felt towards the seishi and his sister
vanished and Keisuke vowed to support him as much as he could.
"Iie, Taka," he began, "I'm the one who should be sorry. For
doubting you the other day."
Taka met his eyes squarely, that small private fear that Keisuke
still hated him dissipating as he stared into the other man's
face. "Arigato, Keisuke."
The blond nodded and flashed him a smile. "Come on. Let's go!"
~ A million mile fall from grace
Thank god we missed the ground ~
The two ran downstairs just as Tetsuya pulled up.
"Tetsuya!" Taka called as he jumped into the car. "Can we stop by
my apartment?"
Keisuke looked at him incredulously. "What for? The place is a
smoking ruins. There's nothing left. You've already been listed
as
a missing person."
Taka blinked. "I-I just thought my beeper might be there...
without
it..." He buried his head in his hands.
"Miaka can't come back?" Yui finished, tears forming in her eyes.
Taka nodded, still facing the floor.
"That's not good," Tetsuya mused. "Without the power of you and
her, Tenkou can't be sealed."
Keisuke was near tears himself with frustration. "Isn't there
anything else we can do?" He looked away so the others couldn't
see his expression. "Please," he prayed, sending his gaze to the
sky, "somebody..."
The car door opened and closed. Keisuke looked up to see Taka
walking purposefully away from the car. "The poor guy's lost
it..."
Two more slams and Yui and Tetsuya wwere out of the car following
at his heels. Dabbing his moist eyes, Keisuke got out and hurried
after them.
Yui caught up to the him first. "What are you doing?"
Taka slowly turned around to face them. Fierce determination
burned in his eyes and his mouth was set in a grim line. "I'm
going to call her back."
~ Run to the water
And find me there
Burnt to the core but not broken
We'll cut through the madness
Of these streets below the moon
With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~
~~~~~
"Look, Miaka," Tamahome murmured as he settled in next to her on
the bed. "We can start over after Tenkou is defeated. Chichiri
and
Tasuki are here... and the others will be reborn as well. And
besides," his voice grew husky as he pressed against her, "didn't
I promise you the night of the star-watching festival that I'd
make you the happiest bride in the world?"
Without waiting for her answer, he bent his dark head over hers
and captured her lips.
~ Yeah, I can see it now lord
Out beyond all the breakin' of waves
And the tribulation ~
Miaka closed her eyes, responding automatically to the feel of
the
man she loved beside her. Somewhere, deep in the depths of her
mind, lingered the nagging feeling that something was wrong.
That voice was, however, quickly silenced as she felt Tamahome's
warmth surround her. She relaxed, savoring the moment.
- Miaka! -
Her eyes flew open, her lips mouthing his name even as Tamahome
was kissing her. "Taka..."
Tamahome jerked himself up, eyes blazing. "What?"
"It's Taka..." Miaka was staring past him, eyes unfocused, seeing
other places, other times, "You know, it took almost a month
before I could unmistakably call him 'Taka' instead of
'Tamahome...'"
"What?!"
She continued, oblivious to his torment. "Taka was certainly
different here and there from Tamahome but..."
Desperate, Tamahome grabbed her arms, pinning her to the bed.
"Stop this! He no longer has anything to do with you!!"
The call came again.
- Miaka!! -
She continued to see past him, face lighting up at her memories.
"He always smiled for me... big and wide. And he was always...
looking
at me!"
~ It's a place and the home of ascended souls
Who swam out there in love! ~
Tamahome shook her hard. "He can't DO anything anymore! I'M the
one you love! LOOK at me!"
Finally, Miaka's eyes focused on his frantic face. "No, you're...
different..."
"HOW?"
~ Run to the water ~
"I don't know!" she wailed, bursting into tears. "But he's the
one
I need now!" she squirmed, freeing herself from his confining
grip.
Lost, Tamahome could only stare at her with wide, disbelieving
eyes. Hot tears pooled underneath his eyelids as he watched the
woman he loved tear away from him.
- Miaka!!! -
~ And find me there ~
"He's calling!" she cried, shutting her eyes and throwing her
face
heavenwards. "I HAVE to go back! Taka!!"
~~~~~
"MIAKA! Come!"
~ Burnt to the core but not broken ~
Overhead, the sky was roiling an angry red. The winds picked up
and shrieked through the trees as a faint rumble of thunder
boomed
in the distance. Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke shrank back in fear.
~ We'll cut through the madness ~
Taka, his face pointed to the sky, stood his ground; eyes and
fists clenched shut as he concentrated on his beloved. "MIAKA!!"
~ Of the streets below the moon ~
A vision of a swirling phoenix... then, finally, the sound he was
waiting for.
~ With the nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~
"TAKA!!"
Her sweet voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once, echoing
through the sky and through his very bones. Taka's eyes flew
open.
Like a bird winging home, Miaka materialized from the roiling
clouds and fell into his waiting arms. Taka enclosed her in his
embrace, his tears mingling with hers.
~ Rest easy baby, rest easy ~
Dimly he heard their surprised gasps as Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke
surrounded them, forming a protective circle around the couple.
~ And recognize all the light and rainbows
Smashed to smithereens and be happy ~
He raised his head briefly, meeting their ecstatic eyes in turn,
before turning back to his beloved.
~ Run to the water and find me there ~
"Wo ai ni, Miaka," he murmured over and over as she sobbed his
name. "I promise I'll never let you go again."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
OWARI
Author's Notes: There is an alternate version of this fic without
the song lyrics. Sometime during the course of writing the fic, I
decided to take the lyrics out, but then decided to put up both
versions anyway. I did re-arrange a few events, omit some lines
and scenes, and add a few things, you know how I like doing that
^_~ but I tried to write this as close to the manga as possible.
Hope you guys enjoyed it! Comments, feedback and flames ONEGAI-
tsukinouta@yahoo.com
Huge hugs to Quicksilver, Lyra, & Ari who proofed this for me;
and to Tasuki no Miko who graciously let me use her manga
translations as a reference for this fic. Visit her site at:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~tasukinomiko/Anime/FY/
Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective
owners. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu and a bunch of big
companies. "Run to the Water" belongs to Live. No copyright
infringement is intended. The story is mine and I would
appreciate you emailing me for permission before posting it
anywhere else.
Copyright © June 26, 2000 by Moonsong. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.topcities.com/Anime/moonsong