Disclaimer:  Yu-Gi-Oh! and it's characters do not belong to me so there! XP

 

Author Notes:  This fic may be sad and depressing at times, it has Angst and Shounon Ai.  It's rated R so anyone who wants to who is at least 17, can read it. It contains self-torture as well.

 

Summary:  Yami Yugi forces Yami Bakura to think about how he is treating Ryou, however just as he is starting to get a grip, something terrible happens.  What you ask?  You'll just have to read it and find out.

 

 

Changes

 

"You will learn to obey your master!  No matter how much you resist!"  Yami Bakura shouted as he landed another blow to his smaller half.  Ryou just cringed, sobbing loudly.  Yami Bakura knew that Yami Yugi was watching him, he didn't care though.

 

"Ok that's enough!"  Yami ordered.  Y.Bakura just smirked and laughed at him.

 

"And what are you going to do if i don't?"  He said as he kicked Ryou in the stomach.

 

"With my Millennium Puzzle?  Who knows...[Yami thinks for a second] How about you and I go for a little chat?"  Yami suggests.

 

"Oh Yugi, i've had enough of your boring lectures!"  Y.Bakura yelled at him.

 

"Please, just hear me out this time!  I know a quiet area where we can talk, uninterrupted.  There are several issues we need to discuss."

 

"Hmph!  Fine whatever....."  Y.Bakura huffed.  He put Ryou back into the ring and followed Yami Yugi to an ole disused hut, it was quite large but in a quite area in a forest just outside of Domino.

 

"Look, i know your past but just put it behind you, Ryou doesn't need to suffer like this," Yami explained.

 

"Why should i!  Huh?!  What if he did the same as the last one?  I will not become some toy again!"  He yelled again.

 

"Ryou is a really nice guy, what makes you think he would do the same thing to you as that other guy did?  You have been doing to Ryou what the last guy did to you, seeing what this has done to you, could you imagine what this is doing to Ryou?"

 

A tear fell from Yami Bakura's eye.  He frowned and wiped it away.  He turned from Yami and folded his arms.  "So i was scared!  What differance does it make?!"

 

"Bakura, your still scared now.  Your so scared of the possibility of this happening to you that you think with your fists rather than your brain.  Maybe if you'd talked to Ryou about this then you wouldn't have to torture him at all."

 

"I am above him!  There will be no other way!"

 

"But you can choose a way other than using violence to win him over!  Don't you see?  He was a weak-willed person in the first place.  If you protect him and guide him, he will respect you and gain more confidence himself!"  Yami explained.

 

"He respects me now!"

 

"No, he only fears you.  Fear and respect are two separate things!"

 

"Well it's too late now isn't it......"

 

"It's never too late, think about it Yami Bakura.  Do you want someone who respects you and who will do anything for you?  Or someone who fears and hates you?"

 

"But how?"  Y.Bakura said.  Yami could now tell that Yami Bakura was weakening, memories of the past were a weak point for him.

 

"Open your mind!  Here, let me help you."  Yami put a hand up to his forehead, the Sennen eye on his forehead began to glow.  He then chanted something and faced his hand suddenly at Yami Bakura.  A blinding flash was seen.  Yami Bakura felt a sharp, stinging sensation in his head.  He felt weak than fell to his knees, breathing heavily he turned to Yami.

 

"Thanks," he said. "Just what i needed"  He then fainted.  Yami knelt beside him and kept watch.

 

*********Dream Sequence**********

A tall man, similar in appearance to Yami Bakura was beating him.  "Get up pretty boy!" He ordered.  Y.Bakura had no choice as the man was much larger than himself.  He analysed Y.Bakura all over, he didn't understand how he could've appeared suddenly out of a Ring.  He began to unbutton his trousers.....

***************************************

 

Yami Bakura could take no more, he forced himself to wake up but lost control and burst into tears.  Yami Yugi hugged onto him and comforted him.

 

"You realise now how you feel, but do you understand how Ryou feels?  You put him through exactly the same."  Yami asked.  Y.Bakura was lost for words, he never really thought about his other's feelings before, or how similar his treatment to Ryou had been to his own torture.

 

"What have i done?"  He sobbed.

 

"Talk to him, tell him of your past," Yami said.

 

They both headed back into Domino city's centre.  Yami met Yugi and Y.Bakura headed home.

 

"Aibou?  What did you say or do to him?  You said you'd have a chat with him.  He looks so miserable,"  Yugi asked Yami.

 

"Some elements of the past are just too painful to talk about Yugi, i won't go into the subject any further.  Just let them sort it out."  Yami replied.

 

 

Yami Bakura Separated from Ryou once he had arrived home.  Ryou quietly went to his room and his other sat on the couch in the living room thinking about what to say to Ryou.

 

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away,

though you think it's over,

knowing there's so much more to say,

suddenly the moment's gone,

and all your dreams are upside down,

and you just want to change the way the world goes round.

 

He stood up and walked up to Ryou's room.  Whereas before it didn't seem to bother him, seeing Ryou cower away from him nearly brought him to tears.  Regaining his composure he sat on Ryou's bed and sighed.

 

"Listen Ryou, I need to talk to you.  I wont hurt you tonight i promise." He said calmly.  Ryou looked at him as if he was mad.  He must be up to something, he thought.  Y.Bakura noticed he looked a bit more pale than usual.  "You don't look too well Ryou,"  he said.

 

"I'm fine, what do you want to tell me?"  He said nervously.  Y.Bakura told him his history of being with the previous holder of the Millennium Ring and how he treated him.  Ryou looked upon him with pity although disbelief.  "But why didn't you tell me in the first place!  It would've been so much easier for the both of us.  You know i would never do anything like that!"  Yami Bakura used all his strength to hold back the tears trying to escape from him.  Ryou could tell what he was doing.

 

"I admit i was scared....." He was cut off by Ryou.

 

"It's your pride that's stopping you, for once in your life let yourself go!  Show me how you really feel, i'm not psychic!"  Yami Bakura was about to reply when Ryou sat behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist.  "If only you could give me a chance,"  Ryou said sadly.

 

"I...I..." Y.Bakura couldn't say anything.  Ryou silently cried himself to sleep.  Y.Bakura lifted Ryou into his bed and pulled the sheets over him to keep him warm.  He sat in the chair in the corner.

 

Have you ever loved and lost somebody,

wished there was a chance to say i'm sorry.

Can't you see,

that's the way i feel about you and me.

Have you ever felt your heart was breaking,

looking down the road you should be taking.

I should know,

'cos i loved and lost the day i let you go.

 

Some hours later, Yami Bakura decided to check on Ryou.  To his surprise Ryou was still awake but was covered in sweat, he was soaked and was even paler than he was before.  Yami Bakura panicked and rested a hand on his forehead, he felt like an icecube.  Ryou just stared at the ceiling, whimpering as he thought Yami Bakure came over to have another go at him again.  Weakly, he turned over and cried again.  His vision was blurred and his head felt light.  He tried to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom however, just as he arrived there he collapsed and started to shake violently.  Y.Bakura was horrified at what he saw, grabbing the cordless phone he dialled for the ambulance.  After the call he dialled Yugi's number.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Yugi!  Get Yami on the phone right now!"

 

"Ok...." Yugi separated from his Aibou and handed him the phone.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Yami something's happening to Ryou!  I don't know that to do!  I've called an ambulance but Ryou's in such a bad way that urgh!  Help me!!!!!!"

 

"Ok first thing, calm down!  Now tell me whats wrong,"  Yami Bakura explained what had happened.  "Ok, move anything dangerous out of the way, switch off the lights and keep quiet!" Yami Bakura complied and did what he was told.  "I'll be there in two seconds ok."

 

By the time Yami had arrived Ryou had stopped shaking and was laying still. Y.Bakura had wrapped a blanket around him as per Yami's instruction.

 

"Now we wait for the ambulance," Yami said patiently.

 

They had expected the ambulance to arrive ages ago and Ryou was fading fast.  "Where are they!?"  Yami Bakura demanded.

 

"We can't wait for them, we must get him there ourselves!"  Yami said.

 

They wrapped Ryou in a thicker blanket and Yami Bakura carried him like a baby.  They both ran as fast as they could to the hospital and burst through the doors of the emergency ward.

 

"Please!  We need help over here!"  Y.Bakura yelled.  A doctor ran into the waiting area where they were and looked at Ryou.

 

"Follow me, quickly!"  She called and led them into the emercency room.  They set Ryou onto the hospital bed while they analysed him.  Ryou was now unconcious and barely breathing.  "You two had better wait in the reception area," she said to them.  A nurse led them out of the room and they sat in the Reception.

 

"How did it happen?" Yami asked him.

 

"I really don't know, i spoke to him about my past although he did look a bit pale when i spoke. He said he was fine...this is all my fault!"

 

Yami couldn't really tell Y.Bakura to stop blaming himself.  He put an arm around his shoulders.  "Just stay calm ok, maybe he's just ill or something."

 

A few hours later a the doctor came out and addressed them.  "Ok guys, Ryou is now as stable as we can get him, if you want, you can go and see him now."

 

"Doctor?  What happened to him?"  Yami Yugi asked.

 

The doctor sighed deeply, "Well, tests have shown that Ryou has taken an overdose of something, although we cannot pinpoint what it is, it may have been a mixture of things.  It has done severe damage to his internal organs.  He also has a broken rib as well."  She explained.  "Both Yami Yugi and Y.Bakura were shocked by what they heard.  Both men went to see Ryou.  He was still very upset.

 

"Ryou, i'm so glad you're ok," Yami Yugi said.  Y.Bakura didn't know what to say.  When he got near to Ryou, Ryou flinched and turned away, wincing at the pain he was in.

 

"I don't want you to be here," he said sadly.

 

"But Ryou...."

 

"Please!  Leave me..."

 

Yami Bakura stood up and walked away leaving Yami Yugi with him.  Yami then changed into Yugi, disappearing into his soul room.

 

Y.Bakura sat outside the hospital.  He then had a vision of one of the beatings he had been given.  Then one of the beatings had he had given to Ryou.  They were both the same, they both felt the same way about it.

 

Can't help but think that this wrong

we should be together

back in your arms where i belong

now i finally realise

it was forever that i found

I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

 

"I hurt him so much...why was i so stubborn and selfish?  Why didn't i realise?"  He punched a nearby wall, making his knuckles bleed.  "I deserve this...infact i deserve a lot more than this."  Taking a knife out of his pocket, he ran the sharp blade across the palm of his hand causing a deep and long gash.  Holding the injured hand out, he watched as the blood poured onto the ground, forming a crimson pool. He dropped to his knees and looked into the red formation.  He could see his reflection into it although it changed into that of the man who had abused him before.  Angrily, he swiped it away causing a bigger mess and the blood splashing over himself.  He wiped his bloody hand over his face. "Why?!" He screamed, breathing loudly and deeply.  He picked up the knife again and pulled it back, pointing to his heart.  "I don't deserve to live." He thought for a minute.  Death is too easy, not enough punishment.  He sliced another opening into his arm, wincing as he did so.  He had a cigarette lighter in his other pocket.  He pulled it out and lit it.  As he drew it closer to the wound on his arm a small hand gripped his own.

 

Tell me

Have you ever loved and lost somebody

Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry

Can't you see

That's the way I feel about you and me, baby

Have you ever felt your heart was breaking

Looking down the road you should be taking

I should know (I should know)

'Cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

 

"Yami Bakura, that isn't necessary," Yugi said.  He looked worried.  "I came out here to tell you this, Ryou said that if he died, then the Ring should go to Rishid, but why?"

 

"Both of them talked, Rishid said something about that he had Malik's original soul and that if he could get him back to normal then they could sort out this ownership of the millenium items mess...."(A/N: Wait for my next fic to find out)

 

"Ok."  Yugi sighed.  He grabbed Y.Bakura's good arm and led him into the hospital waiting room.  He sat him down and walked up to the receptionist.  He gave Yugi a towel and called over one of the nurses.  Yugi wrapped the towel around Yami Bakura's injured hand.  The nurse then cleaned up his wounds and stitched them.  "You'll be fine, ok," she said to him.

 

I really want to hear you say

That you know just how it feels

To have it all and let it slip away

Can't you see

I know the moment's gone

I'm still holding on somehow

Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

 

The doctor walked in up to Yami Bakura, "Ryou wants to see you now, be careful though because his condition has deteriorated even more since the last time you saw him."

 

Y.Bakura walked into the room where Ryou was.  The doctor was right, he looked so much worse than before, he couldn't move at all.  He had tubes sticking in all over his body and he was attached to a heart monitor.

 

"They said i now have permenant damage to a lot of my internal organs, i suppose that was a stupid thing to do,"  Yami Bakura could hardly understand what Ryou was saying.  He brushed the hair away from Ryou's eyes, Ryou flinched again.  "I'm a mess....." he said trying to laugh but ended up coughing instead.

 

"Ryou, your gonna be fine, i know you are,"  Y.Bakura told him.

 

"Why should you care?  Besides what if i don't want to recover?  Now i no longer have a reason to fear anyone or anything."  Ryou started to cry.  "I only wanted your love, was it too much to ask?"

 

A tear fell from Y.Bakura's eye.  Ryou slipped a hand on Y.Bakura's injured one.  Y.Bakura winced a little and then he couldn't stop the tears from falling.  "I'm sorry!" He sobbed.  Ryou started to look more tired, his eyes felt heavy as did his breathing.

 

"Please, kiss me," Ryou begged, his eyes begged for Y.Bakura's love.  Yami Bakura leaned over and planted his lips on Ryou's.  The kiss was quite deep and after a few seconds they pulled away.  "Thanks," Ryou half-whispered.  A tear fell from his eye.

 

"I love you Ryou,"  Yami Bakura said.  It was Ryou who started sobbing this time.

 

"I'm scared..."  Yami Bakura brushed Ryou's hair away from his face again.  He then noticed Ryou's eyes slowly closing.

 

"No...no, Ryou please don't go!" Yami Bakura cried.  It was no use, Ryou had now slipped away.  Yami Bakura cried with all his heart.  Yugi looked on, he cried himself but hugged onto Y.Bakura to comfort him.

 

"Ryou...i can't believe it, he took his own life," Yami Yugi said, teary eyed.

 

"I never got a chance to let him my true feelings about him...or even give a proper apology."

 

Tell me

Have you ever loved and lost somebody

Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry

Can't you see (Oh)

That's the way I feel about you and me, baby

Have you ever felt your heart was breaking

Looking down the road you should be taking

I should know (I should know)

'Cos I loved and lost the day I let

Yes I loved and lost the day I let

Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

 

 

"Ryou, i always did love you.  I was so self absorbed i didn't give myself a chance to show you how i really felt.  With all of my heart i am really sorry.  My love for you will never change."  Yami Bakura set the flowers on the gravestone, stood up and walked away, still crying.

 

 

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