Blue hair framing a face; eyes just as blue, like the sky at dawn, or a tropical sea. A sea you could drown in, though drowning would be fine. Because they'd be there together, surrounded by warmth. Warmth, yes, that was what he remembered when he saw those eyes. Warmth and protection, someone who would be there for him.
Loyalty, now that was something...
Xemnas woke with a start. Just a dream, the same dream. Except, how could he be sure? He never remembered it when he woke. The dream was never finished.
Sometimes the nobody feared that he would cease to dream all together, for didn't dreams come from the heart like a wish? Were these wishes, a residual longing that he remembered but could no longer feel? Or were these just memories replaying like a tape on loop. Always the same, and signifying nothing at all.
Nothing. That is what Xemnas had, what all nobodies had. The Darkness and the Nothingness they'd all fade into, except for the distant hope of Kingdom Hearts. Sometimes he wondered why they hoped at all with no hearts to guide them. Nothing to guide them except his leadership, he was number I, superior of Organization XIII. He'd found them all, one by one and bound them together. He'd given them a purpose, and given them their names. An X for each name, X for Xehanort and for something else, something greater.
"χ"... A most ancient letter. Some say "kye," but the meaning is the same. Death... A letter that spells endings."
Were these his words? Xemnas couldn't remember saying them or what they meant, but they echoed through his mind as he sat in the darkness of his room. The superior got to his feet and began to wander the castle. No use sleeping, even if he longed to continue the dream, it was useless. The dream would never finish, and he would never have what he longed for. What he yearned for while he slept, memories of feelings like ghosts in an empty house.
Who was that person? What were these memories? Love?
Had he ever loved?
He can't remember, and perhaps it's better that way. Things are clearer without emotions to hold you back. Xemnas made his way to Roxas' room where the boy lay sleeping. He'd collapsed a day or so ago. Xemnas was not sure why exactly but guessed it had something to do with Sora, and what had happened at Castle Oblivion. As of yet, all he knew was that everyone had been destroyed.
The loss of loyal forces was unfortunate, but at least the threat of treason had been neutralized. "And you will wake," he said to Roxas, "and we shall continue." The key blade wielder would gather the hearts, the perfect pawn in Xemnas's game. "Just like he was, or are you the same? He looked like you." Except Xemnas didn't remember who he was. Someone he had used for his own goals once, or was it a friend he used to have. Someone who had been a brother. Xemnas didn't know, these memories were fragments, pieces of another life. A life he lost long before he lost his heart. Xemnas was a broken long before he became a nobody.
Who had he been? What was he? Would Kingdom Hearts make it clear?
Xemnas looked to the distance for a moment, then moved away leaving the sleeping boy behind. Soon he made his way back to his own room. He'd sleep again, let the dreams come again if they would. Perhaps tomorrow he'd go and speak with his friend. They were the same, something in him knew it.
The girl in his dreams and the pile of empty armor. The armor so like him, an empty shell.
So he dreamed again. Of blue hair and eyes, and of that smile which was so long ago. Xemnas wouldn't remember what he dreamed. It vanished upon waking, even on days like today when he awoke with a start, the name "Aqua" on his lips.