Written for:
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry: For Amanda, Secret Santa
Remus/Narcissa / Taylor Swift's Love Story, love at first sight, first kiss
Happier Ending
xXx
Eleven-year-old Narcissa looked away from the pompous peacock her parents were fawning over. She rolled her eyes as Lucius Malfoy puffed his chest out at her parents' praise about what a handsome young man he was becoming.
He was annoying, and she really hoped her parents weren't serious about arranging a marriage between her and him. She might die from annoyance.
As her gaze roamed along the platform, it stilled as it landed on a scruffy-looking fellow. He was her age. She knew it because he looked terrified about going to Hogwarts. He had brown hair that hung down to his shoulder and a thin body. She didn't recognize him, so she didn't think he was a Pure-blood.
The boy looked up from studying the ground intensely, and their eyes locked. Her light blue eyes met his exquisite amber eyes. Narcissa swore the earth moved beneath her feet, but that was ridiculous. Why would the earth move? The boy was no one special after all.
Her father roughly squeezed her shoulder, distracting her from the boy's entrancing gaze. She looked up at her father's stern face. "Time for you to get on the Hogwarts Express. I'm sure Lucius will be more than happy to help you get settled into a compartment."
She wanted to say, 'I don't need his help,' but she bit her tongue. She knew it wasn't the right thing to say. Instead, she answered demurely, "Of course, Father."
She allowed Lucius to lead her onto the train. Her sisters had already disappeared inside as they knew their parents wanted Lucius to have some alone time with her.
"Normally, I would invite you to sit with me, but I actually have Prefect duties to attend to."
'Am I supposed to be impressed?' she thought sarcastically. On the outside, she smiled politely. "That's fine, I'm more than capable of amusing myself." She walked into an empty compartment and watched stoically as Lucius put her trunk in the above area.
"Have a nice ride. I'll see you when we get to Hogwarts."
'I can't wait," she sneered on the inside.
She simply smiled her acknowledgment and breathed a sigh of relief once he left.
She had been sitting for about five minutes, her hands in her lap, when the train started moving. Just as she made a decision to retrieve a book from her trunk, the compartment's door slid open.
The scruffy boy stood there, his mouth wide open. "Hello," he shyly murmured.
Narcissa tilted her head. "Hello."
"I'm Remus."
Her spine was stiff. "I'm Narcissa."
"Are you a first year too?"
She nodded. "You're not a Pure-blood, are you?"
"Half-blood," he admitted.
Usually, that would make her turn her nose up. After all, she was Narcissa Black. She was too good to be associated with a non-Pure-blood, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to be cold to him. "Would you like to sit down?"
He nodded and moved into the compartment, dragging his trunk behind him. He lifted into the above-head area and sat across from her.
She knew she shouldn't be seen with him, especially in public. Andromeda wouldn't say anything, but Bellatrix definitely would. Or Lucius. Or any of the other Slytherin Pure-bloods. And if it got back to her parents…
She shuddered as the thought trailed off. She couldn't seem to resist being nice to him, though.
The silence was comfortable between them, but Narcissa felt the need to break it. "Which of your parents is the Pure-blood?"
"My dad."
"Do you know about the houses?"
Remus nodded. "I think I'll be either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw."
Narcissa thought about it. "Ravenclaw isn't that bad, but Gryffindor is full of loud, obnoxious, kids. I can't stand most of them. If you become a Gryffindor, you might be the exception."
"And your house?"
"Slytherin. My surname is Black after all."
He visibly startled.
"I take it you've heard of my family," she knowingly said.
Remus blushed. "A little bit. My dad didn't have a lot of nice things to say about your family."
"I bet. I doubt he'd like you sitting with me."
"He might not trust the Blacks as a whole, but he trusts my judgment, and I want to sit with you."
Narcissa's cheeks warmed.
The conversation continued and it didn't seem to lag at all as they made their way to Hogwarts. They had a lot in common. They were both avid readers and had a love of animals. Remus was quiet and reserved; likewise, so was Narcissa. Neither of them believed in traditions, and both of them just wanted to live their lives.
Narcissa knew this was a dangerous friendship, but something about Remus spoke to her. And no matter what happened in the future, Narcissa didn't think she'd be able to turn him away.
X
Thirteen-year-old Narcissa sat in this little grove she found one day while wandering around Hogwarts' grounds. It was private, hidden from nosy professors and students.
It was a good secret hideaway as it wasn't known to anyone. The leaves rustled. When Remus' head came into view, Narcissa couldn't stop her smile.
"Sorry, I'm late. James and Sirius wouldn't go to sleep."
Her smile turned into a frown at the mention of her cousin and Potter. It made her think of her sisters and all of the other Pure-bloods that would have something to say about her association with a Half-blood.
It was why their meetings were always secret. They both would be dead if her parents found out. Her death was more metaphorical, but she would be punished. Her parents would take a much harder stance with her, especially since Andromeda's decision to run away and marry a Muggle-born. And Remus would probably disappear. Literally.
"It's okay."
Remus sat down beside her. His face was lined with fatigue.
"You're tired," she stated.
Remus nodded.
She bit her bottom lip. She wasn't stupid. She saw the signs. The full moon was two nights ago. Every month, if they met near the full moon, he was always tired. She didn't make a known that his secret wasn't actually a secret any longer. When he wanted her to know, he'd tell her himself.
Narcissa put her hands in her lap. "They're pushing me towards Malfoy still."
Remus kept his gaze focused on his own lap. "Can't you say no?"
"That would go over well. I'm sure you heard my cousin talk about his uptight parents and their ways. Mine are just as bad. They won't take 'no' for an answer."
"Maybe you could learn to love Malfoy?" Remus tried, but his voice sounded weak with doubt. Narcissa wasn't one to bow to anyone's whims, and Malfoy wasn't one to like an opinionated wife.
"Maybe when Hell freezes over," she inelegantly muttered. She only ever talked like that in front of Remus; he wouldn't judge her. She could be herself and know he wouldn't look down at her like the Pure-bloods she associated with as a child.
He laughed. They laid on the grass. Narcissa's head was against Remus' shoulder, and her fingers itched to take his hand, but she held herself back.
"Sometimes, I wish I could just run away. I could get away from everyone's expectations and just be myself. Do what I want. Marry who I want to." She closed her eyes.
"Do you have anyone you'd want to marry?" Remus asked.
His voice sounded funny, and she opened her eyes and turned her head towards him. A bright blush stained his cheek. "Yes, I do."
Remus' amber eyes met her gaze. Their faces were close together but neither made a move towards a kiss.
"It's a nice make-believe fantasy," Narcissa finally said as she sat up. "Too bad it would never happen."
Remus copied her actions. He nodded silently. Their camaraderie was now stiff and sullen as what-ifs twirled around in their heads.
X
Fifteen-year-old Narcissa sat with a frown at their spot. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she impatiently waited for Remus to make his appearance.
The leaves rustled. She didn't smile at the boy as he sat down. "Did you have a good summer?" he innocuously asked.
"No, I did not have a good summer," she refuted. Her blonde hair crackled with magic.
He blinked. "What happened?"
"My parents keep telling me that I will learn to love Lucius. They're telling me that I should be with him. They don't care that he's a conceited, entitled arsehole. They don't care about what I want. All they care about is what a Black-Malfoy union can do for them."
Remus pulled her into an embrace. She buried her head against his chest and breathed in his scent. He smelled like grass and wilderness; it was soothing to her frayed nerves.
"I'm sorry. I wish there was some way to help you."
Her breathing picked up as her fingers caressed his chest through his robes. She tilted her head up. Their noses bumped.
"We shouldn't," she said.
He swallowed. "I know."
That didn't stop her, though, and she leaned further up until their lips touched. It was a gentle touch, a mere brush, an experiment, but it made her whole body pleasantly tingle. They pulled back from each other, and then a second later, their lips were touching again, but this time with fierce passion.
Remus' hands tangled in her hair, pulling it from its neat ponytail. Narcissa wrapped her arms around his neck as she straddled his lap, pressing her pelvis against his. Remus' hands moved to her waist holding her tight, and she yearned for more to happen.
Her body felt like it was on fire as she felt his burgeoning erection while their tongues dueled for dominance. They broke away from each other, panting erratically as their hot cheeks rested against each other.
"This is so wrong," she muttered. "If my family finds out…"
"I'm not sure I can stay away from you anymore. Not after that kiss."
She pressed her lips against his in response.
X
Seventeen-year-old Narcissa stood in a field. She was done with Hogwarts. Although her father had never formally set a contract, they were still pushing her in Lucius' directions. She kept saying no, but she wouldn't be able to put them off forever.
She would follow in Andromeda's footsteps if Remus made it known that he was serious about her, that it wasn't just a school fling.
She hugged herself. Narcissa hated feeling so insecure; it wasn't her personality. Usually, Remus wasn't the type to play games, but he was sure dragging his feet when it came to telling her what his feelings were.
She was tired of waiting. She needed to know what her future held, whether it would be with or without Remus Lupin.
There was a crack, breaking the serenity in the air. Remus now stood before her.
"I wasn't sure you'd be coming. After all, I'm sure your friends want to celebrate graduation."
"They are having a party right now," Remus conceded.
"Won't they miss you?"
He took a step closer. "I rather be here with you."
Narcissa closed her eyes. "Remus, is this all it's ever going to be? Us hiding in the shadows, having secret rendezvous? I would throw away everything for you, but if this is all just a secret fling, tell me now so I can move on. I'm tired of feeling alone, wondering what's going to happen. I might not love Lucius, but at least I know where I stand with him. Where do I stand with you?"
Remus looked down at his feet for a moment, but then he looked up again, and his eyes held a steely determination. "Narcissa, I love you, but I felt like you were too good for me. I have a secret, and—"
"I know," Narcissa interrupted. "You're always sick around the full moon, and it wasn't hard to figure it out. And I'm still here."
Remus huffed out a laugh. "I should have realized you'd figure it out. Sirius and James figured it out the same way, and I know you're smarter than them." He knelt down on one knee and grabbed her hand. "I don't have a ring yet; I need to get a job and save up a bit. I can't keep you in all of the fine clothes and jewelry that you're used to. And I doubt you'll have your family's money once they find out."
"Are you trying to talk me out of loving you?" Narcissa asked in an incredulous tone.
"But I love you with my whole heart. I'll always love you. That's all I really know. Marry me, and I'll work my whole life trying to be worthy of you."
Narcissa knelt down on the floor and took his face in her hands. "Remus, I love you. That's all I know too."
He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and sighed into the kiss.
It wouldn't be easy, but together, they'd survive.
(word count: 2,176)