"So… how much for a tattoo?" The dark lord said, he thought he wasn't threatening enough just with his horns. He needed something… Unique. He had thought of wearing a black vacuum cleaner on his head, or maybe get yellow teeth and wear a hood. But this was the greatest idea yet.
"50 credits" The tattoo guy said hardly taking his eyes away from his beer.
"Ill give you your life" maulden chlaron threatened. He needed a better name, and Darth maulden chlaron wouldn't work, maybe Darth chlaron? No… Darth maulden? Maul? That's it! Darth Maul! His master would be happy.
The man looked up. "And ill give yeh the finger, show some credits or get out."
This wasn't a good start, being a dark jedi was supposed to be fun. "Uhhh… ok" He handed the credits and asked "What styles are there?"
"Here" the guy said and handed him a holo-cube with about 60 designs. "Where dya want it?"
"All over" the person who recently named himself darth maul said bluntly.
"Whatcha mean?!" The guy nearly shouted "ALL OVER? Geez the freaks these days cant live with just ONE tattoo or just ONE earing, they need about 79 of them!"
"Lets just make this clear… if a, you annoy me, b, you give me a bad tattoo, or c you give me a bad time, then ill just have to take that heart of yours, squeeze the blood out of it, while its still inside you and use the force to make you live through the pain, then ill de-member you and stick you into a bantha's behind. Now… what I mean, is ALL OVER." A smiling sith said calmly like this was an everyday thing.
"Uhhh ok… but if you want it all over the body then its gonna cost… urm" he took out a cyber-calculator and checked the number "584721.1826 credits and three lightsabers"
"Three lightsabers?! How did you get to that?! Argh ok what did it cost again?"
The guy started calculating again "82371612312312.2342837423 credits and five midi-chlorians." He replied
"What?! You're trying to cheat a sith! Well us sith aren't cheated easily you fool! Im gonna…"
"Ooops sorry my mistake only four midi-chlorians" the guy cut him off
"Oh ok then" he said and handed it over.
"Have you chosen a design already?" the guy asked
"Well no, but this pink one with flowers looks threatening!!!" Darth maul answered enthusiastically
"Whatever you say man, but please just don't choose the pink one? How bout the red?"
"Oooh yes even better" Darthy shouted.
-33421 hours 12 minutes 43 seconds and 23 mili seconds later-
"VIOLA!" The tattoo guy said finally and took a mirror to show the sith.
"Wow this is really nice!" he looked at his new self "Uhm, what are these carvings?"
"Oh those? They mean 'I'm a very bad sith person', but don't bother looking in the elvish dictionary cuz you'll just find 'I'm a red dumbass with horns' and that's totally NOT what it means!"
"Oh ok…" maul said and walked out.
A group of elves started laughing as he walked by them.
"50 credits" The tattoo guy said hardly taking his eyes away from his beer.
"Ill give you your life" maulden chlaron threatened. He needed a better name, and Darth maulden chlaron wouldn't work, maybe Darth chlaron? No… Darth maulden? Maul? That's it! Darth Maul! His master would be happy.
The man looked up. "And ill give yeh the finger, show some credits or get out."
This wasn't a good start, being a dark jedi was supposed to be fun. "Uhhh… ok" He handed the credits and asked "What styles are there?"
"Here" the guy said and handed him a holo-cube with about 60 designs. "Where dya want it?"
"All over" the person who recently named himself darth maul said bluntly.
"Whatcha mean?!" The guy nearly shouted "ALL OVER? Geez the freaks these days cant live with just ONE tattoo or just ONE earing, they need about 79 of them!"
"Lets just make this clear… if a, you annoy me, b, you give me a bad tattoo, or c you give me a bad time, then ill just have to take that heart of yours, squeeze the blood out of it, while its still inside you and use the force to make you live through the pain, then ill de-member you and stick you into a bantha's behind. Now… what I mean, is ALL OVER." A smiling sith said calmly like this was an everyday thing.
"Uhhh ok… but if you want it all over the body then its gonna cost… urm" he took out a cyber-calculator and checked the number "584721.1826 credits and three lightsabers"
"Three lightsabers?! How did you get to that?! Argh ok what did it cost again?"
The guy started calculating again "82371612312312.2342837423 credits and five midi-chlorians." He replied
"What?! You're trying to cheat a sith! Well us sith aren't cheated easily you fool! Im gonna…"
"Ooops sorry my mistake only four midi-chlorians" the guy cut him off
"Oh ok then" he said and handed it over.
"Have you chosen a design already?" the guy asked
"Well no, but this pink one with flowers looks threatening!!!" Darth maul answered enthusiastically
"Whatever you say man, but please just don't choose the pink one? How bout the red?"
"Oooh yes even better" Darthy shouted.
-33421 hours 12 minutes 43 seconds and 23 mili seconds later-
"VIOLA!" The tattoo guy said finally and took a mirror to show the sith.
"Wow this is really nice!" he looked at his new self "Uhm, what are these carvings?"
"Oh those? They mean 'I'm a very bad sith person', but don't bother looking in the elvish dictionary cuz you'll just find 'I'm a red dumbass with horns' and that's totally NOT what it means!"
"Oh ok…" maul said and walked out.
A group of elves started laughing as he walked by them.