Under My Umbrella, an almost human fanfic

So, yeah… I'm having trouble letting go. This little scene wouldn't leave me alone so gave in and wrote it. It's a kinda-sorta sequel to Almost Husbands, I guess. You don't have to read that first, but it'd be nice. Special thanks to readithoney for pressuring me to write this, again, lol.

ME NO OWN NO NOTHING.

Dedicated to readithoney

'Why the fuck is it I always get the short end of the fucking stick?'

John Kennex was standing inconspicuously in a dark alley, right next to a dumpster. He shivered and curled in on himself slightly for warmth. He'd forgotten his jacket in his rush to get out the door that morning. After chasing down a perp , getting hit in the face and thrown into a wall by said perp before finally bringing him down by tackling all 6'4him, spending several hours filling out approximately a thousand tons of paperwork about the incident, before finally going back out on patrol for several more hours, he'd literally collapsed into bed last night.

Excuse him if, after only three hours of sleep before his alarm went off, a coat wasn't high priority. The icing on the cake was he'd arrived late to work anyway and got chewed out by Maldonado. Thus this utterly shitty stakeout assignment.

John was tasked with being Josh Maloney's unknowing shadow the entire day. The man with shaggy brown hair and eyes, barely into his twenties, was a suspect in a case involving a couple cybercrimes. It was highly unlikely that he was the actual criminal though, and after a few hours of doing nothing but watching the guy, John was completely convinced he was innocent. No way someone so downright boring could commit a crime. All he did was stare at his computer in an internet café next to the alley John was standing in, typing away at what John assumed was some sort of school paper.

John was about to kill himself just for something to do, he was so bored.

Suddenly, without any prior warning, storm clouds rolled in to obscure the sunny blue sky of the morning. Within seconds rain drops were coming down, and within minutes it was raining like cats and dogs.

Okay, John was wrong. This was the icing on the cake.

Fuck. Me.

Great. The temperature was dropping even further, he had no coat, and the alley provided next to no cover from the rain. He couldn't move either, as he still had to keep eyes on Josh; pointless as it was, it was still his job. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and there was no way he was pissing Sandra off again by leaving.

She knew how to make it look like an accident, and hide his body so no one would ever find it.

Deciding not to risk it, John settled in for what was sure to be hours of being cold, wet, and miserable. He glared at Josh's back, envious of the warmth the cyber café promised.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

John's thoughts were just drifting off to that idea of killing himself to relieve his boredom when with a start he realized he couldn't feel the rain anymore. What the heck? He turned around to see… a very, very exasperated looking Dorian holding a ridiculous neon pink umbrella over the both of them.

"John! I've been here for the past two minutes and you haven't even noticed me. You're losing your touch, man." Dorian shook his head.

"What? But I thought you were supposed to be doing something or other that only robots can do for that cybercrimes case we're working on? And I dare you to say I'm losing my touch when my fist is in your face." He glared, but subtly moved a little closer to Dorian, trying to steal some of his warmth.

The DRN shrugged. "They let me leave a little early to catch up with you. They didn't want you out on your own for very long. And would it kill you to look happy to see me, just once?"

"Yes. It would. I would die on the spot," John deadpanned. He rolled his eyes for emphasis. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, thank you very much… but he had to admit that despite the hideous color, he could totally make out with that umbrella right about now. It was a lifesaver. Where the heck had Dorian gotten it from, anyway?

"Where the heck did you get that hideous thing from, anyway?" John asked his question out loud absentmindedly. He shifted a little bit closer to Dorian, still trying to be subtle about it.

Dorian struggled not to smirk. He knew exactly what John was doing, but decided to play dumb for now. He could see that John was having a hard time as it was. "Detective Stahl leant it to me when I told her I was going to meet you. It was already raining cats and dogs, as the expression goes, by the time I left."

"Uh-huh…" John murmured, not really caring all that much. He yawned obnoxiously.

"John, can't you at least pretend to take this assignment seriously?"

"Nope. Not when I'm this tired."

"…You know, technically I could record all of our conversations and report them to Detective Maldonado."

"But you won't… cause you like me." Even John's smirk was obnoxious.

Dorian sighed. "Sometimes I wonder why."

The detective threw his hands up in the air. "Don't ask me. You're the faulty robot with terrible taste."

"I don't know… it's not that bad." Dorian gave John a smile that, if John had a brief thought he wouldn't mind staring at that all day instead of friggin Josh Maloney, well, he'd just keep that to himself.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After that they fell into a companionable silence. John shifted a little closer to Dorian periodically until they were finally shoulder to shoulder. When they touched, neither said a word, though Dorian had a weird smile on his face.

It wasn't long after, that Dorian decided to amuse himself by his favorite form of entertainment… annoying the ever living fuck out of John.

Dorian opened his mouth and started to sing:

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby 'cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'd be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the war has took its part
When the world has dealt its cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because

You can run into my arms
It's OK, don't be alarmed
Come here to me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

It's raining, raining
Oh, baby it's raining, raining
Baby come here to me
Come here to me
It's raining, raining
Oh baby it's raining, raining
You can always come here to me
Come here to me

"Dorian, I beg you… please shut the fuck up."

The damn DRN even had the nerve to laugh as he wrapped an arm around John's waist to warm him up.

"It's your own fault for not checking the weather, John."

John and Dorian walked into Maldonado's office later that evening. Well, Dorian walked, John more like squished his way in. He was still soaked down to his underwear.

"Hello, Detective Kennex and Dorian." She greeted them before even looking at them, her eyes still trained on the paperwork on her desk.

John raised an eyebrow. "How'd you know it was us?"

She snorted. "Please. I could hear you from a mile away with those shoes."

"Ha-ha."

They quickly gave her their report. Maldonado agreed, Josh Maloney seemed to have nothing to do with the cybercrimes and the detail on him would be no longer needed. John felt like taking a page from Dorian's book and bursting out into song.

John turned to leave, Dorian leading the way. He was just about to walk out the door when Maldonado called out to him and he turned around. "Oh, and John? There's one more little thing I forgot to mention."

"What is it?" He said suspiciously. He was pretty sure he'd end up killing something if it was one more stakeout assignment.

"You may as well take Dorian with you tonight. We're being issued some new MXs and we could use the extra space. In fact, we're working something out so that he can just stay with you permanently."

His mouth hung open. "And what makes you think I'd ever agree to that? I can barely stand to be in the same room as him."

She looked at him as if he were stupid. "Please John. Give me more credit than that. Despite your best efforts to hide it, I know he stays over night with you most nights anyway. I know what that means."

John could only back out of the room slowly, still working on trying to close his mouth.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Dorian met John in front of the car. "What was that about?" He noticed John appeared to be in shock of some sort.

"I… I think she knows." He could barely get the words out.

His Dorian looked uncharacteristically confused. "Knows? Knows what?" Comprehension dawned a second later. "You think she's onto us?"

"Definitely."

Please review and let me know your thoughts!

For every review, Dorian will nag John to remember to check the weather! :D