Drunk in Love

"Zen—Zen?"

He doesn't answer her, even as her warm hand caresses his shoulder.

It's a habit he had developed recently—pretending to sleep while Lux is around. An unusual thing to do, but by no means suspicious. It's not out of some weird, creepy fetish; he doesn't do it because of distrust or paranoia either. Simply put she—his love, his heart—does some cute things when she thinks he's not looking. Somehow she doesn't want him to learn about these quirks of hers; this is his way of catching her do them.

This is the only secret he keeps from her. It's something of hers that only he can keep and treasure and remember. Admittedly, he's possessive over it; he doesn't want to share this with anyone. At the same time, he wishes she'd be more open to him. Especially now that both their careers are taking off it seems that either of them are spending less time at home and together. It's the lonely nature of their jobs. Sharing in these little things with her is his desire. He wants to learn about her all over again; he wants to know about things that are so like her—so quintessentially Lux that he knows, without a doubt, that there'd be no one like her in every corner of the world. No one like her will ever cross his path again.

But he doesn't know how to approach the subject; it makes him feel like a demanding partner.

So, for now, he makes do with this.

She brushes his hair away from his forehead and he nearly smiles. Seconds later the gentlest of kisses replaces her touch. This is something she always does. Whatever she does with her time she lets him know that she's still with him and she will remain until he awakens. It's comforting, warm, and secure. As a man, it's something he believes he should provide for the person he loves; it's a happy discovery that she can also offer this feeling to him. He's grateful to receive it; he welcomes being taken care of and assured.

As her presence fades, he cracks an eye open. She ambles to the kitchen, pausing to pet Byeol, their dog. On the counter she prepares a cup of tea and a bowl of dried fruit and nut mix. When she returns, he hurriedly closes his eyes. He hears a soft plop as she sits, the faint sound of the cup and bowl being placed on the coffee table. There's a click and the low volumes of the TV fills the living room. Opening his eyes, he finds her sitting against the couch near his head. He stares at the back of her neck, where a fading kiss mark sits at the base. Remembering exactly how that mark got there makes his cheeks red. Now, spurned by the memory, he reaches out to embrace her. Closing his eyes, he buries his face in the crook of her neck. Breathing in her scent, it fills him, bringing on drowsiness that doesn't come to him easily nowadays.

"Zen?" Lux gasps in surprise. "Did I wake you?"

"Babe, why are you sitting on the floor?" he mumbles in reply. "Isn't it uncomfortable?"

"Not at all," she chuckles. "You need all the space you can get."

"But I want to hug you…"

"You are hugging me."

He shakes his head. "I want to wrap myself around you."

"Oh, Zen," she sighs. Hot electricity jolts his body as the edge of her teeth grazes the inside of his wrist in a gentle bite. God, he's no longer a teenager, but his body still reacts so strongly to whatever she does to him. "This is your first proper day off in a long time; you need sleep."

In return he nips her neck, pleased by her shiver. "I can't if you tease me like that."

"I'll stop," she says. He peppers kisses on her skin as she bites his wrist again and then licking the spot to soothe the sting. "Sleep. When you wake, if you want, we can pick this up again."

He smiles at her determined words. "Promise?"

"Promise."

He leans back and opens his eyes. She's looking at him with this adorable, teasing look. Chuckling under his breath, he nods and closes his eyes once more. Despite the drowsiness weighing his body on the couch, sleep doesn't come easily. So he simply focuses on her, enjoying the feel of her taking his hand—kissing the back and massaging his palm. Soon enough the sound of Byeol's tags jingle; he woofs curiously and Zen feels his paws on the couch.

"Shhh, Byeol," Lux says. "Zen's sleeping; we shouldn't disturb him, okay?"

Then, in her voice… but higher and comical: "Aw, but I want to play!"

"Later, yeah? Come, you can rest on my lap."

Zen bites his lips. She does this sometimes—have conversations with Byeol. Sometimes they're actual, deep conversations. He's lucky to witness this one time, when her back's turned to him. Poor Byeol simply inclines his head to one side while she rants to him the stress of her work or whenever she hits a wall in her compositions. Sometimes all it seems to take is boredom. The dog isn't able to reply, naturally, so she takes it upon herself to give him a voice. Turns out Byeol sounds like a whinier version of Yoosung.

Time seems to be in stasis. Zen no longer senses the passage of time; has it only been seconds ago that he and Lux talked? Or has it actually been hours? He's not sure anymore. However, he is still awake and aware—Lux continues to hold his hand and with the television on the silence of the living room is not as oppressive as usual. Sleep is not far away; he feels himself drifting away towards that familiar, comfortable darkness. All tension in his body has vanished; under Lux's presence and the idyllic atmosphere, he finds himself relaxing—

He hears a familiar melody.

Ah… it's the song he sang for his latest show.

Seconds after the song starts another voice accompanies it—pitchy, broken, and out of tune. He suppresses the urge to grin. Oh, no. She's doing it, his most favourite thing in the world. Byeol whines as her singing fills the living room. With her being a professional pianist one would think that singing would be a natural talent of hers, but… no. No. No, it's not. She's a terrible singer, but she still sounds like music to Zen's ears. It's one of the most adorable things about her. And to hear her attempt to sing one of his songs… such a thought just threatens to bust open his heart and spread emotional confetti everywhere.

Somehow, she manages to put him under. Honestly, he wants to stay awake… maybe embrace her again. The future is uncertain enough that he can't predict if they'll have another moment like this. Yet… this is too precious to disturb. Everything is too perfect that it's unfortunate no one can freeze it and protect it. He wishes he could; nothing else in this world will make him happier than staying with her like this for eternity.

But life doesn't stop moving; it goes forever on. He will wake and… she'll be there.

So, he doesn't stop himself anymore.

Notes:

1. I've started playing the game again because I have not completed the bad ends of some routes and, you know, second anniversary. I suddenly missed Zen so much that I just had to write something about him. He's my absolute favourite guy, along with V of course. They're my boys and I just want to love them both, they deserve all the love!

2. Inspired by a Reddit post that I saw a week or so ago.

3. From my research Byeol means "star" so I thought it would be a fitting dog name. Yes, in my head they got a dog. They're gonna have to balance out Jumin's worship of Elizabeth 3rd in some way. Byeol, like Zen, is a handsome and talented dog whose friendliness just makes everyone fall in love with him.