Hey Puddins. So I know it's been a long time since I've published anything, and I'm sorry for that. But I wrote this little gem out of the blue and I hope you enjoy. I was just listening to this song then next thing I knew I was typing. Enjoy. If you know the artist of the cover image, or if its yours, please PM me and I'll be sure to give credit. Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima
This story is based off of "Little Do You Know" by Alex and Sierra.
Juvia
Gray
Both
Little do you know
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
Little do you know
I need a little more time
Juvia sat in her bed looking out the window. Rain drops slowly leaked from the clouds, mimicking the tears dripping from her eyes. The night air was cold, but she wasn't sure if that came from the outside, her sad heart, or the sleeping ice mage next to her. After all her months of struggling, she should be happy with Gray being with her. But despite her blossoming relationship, she was still battling with his betrayal from Avatar. Her nightmares still came every night, and they were always the same.
Waking up in that house and finding herself alone again. His face joining everyone else who she grouped together. Those who had left her. All of them, standing together, complaining about the one thing they resented most, her.
Her face grew wetter as she choked back sobs. No matter how much she tried to pretend that it was okay, no matter how much she tried to move on from the bitterness, it would never change the fact that he had left her. He had confirmed her worst fear; that he was just like everyone else. He did the one thing that Juvia had been afraid of, he left her rejected. All the progress Juvia had made suddenly vanished. No matter how far she had come, she would always be the woman desperately mortified of being abandoned. Maybe in a few years, she could be the person she wanted to be, but for now, she was just Juvia, the Rainwoman.
She could never find the words to tell Gray this though, and she tried to love him, she realized he was trying. But right now she couldn't go back to the old way of loving him, her wounds were just too fresh, even months after the war with Alvarez had ended. So for now she just cried in the night, while he slept soundly next to her.
Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside
I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight
Little do you know
I need a little more time
Everyday was a war for Juvia. She managed to keep herself mostly occupied with restoring the town and odd jobs, and she managed to keep her smile on throughout the day, but still her anxieties nagged at her constantly. Never was there a moment that the pressure on her chest lifted. It took everything she had not to crumble. Whenever she turned her back, she still had the irrational sense that the others were scorning her, were wishing, like everyone else had in her past, that she would go away, and plotting their move to leave her.
As often as she felt she was evolving from those terrors, they still held her. She wanted to fully accept everyone's promises, Gray's promise that they loved her and would stay by her, but she still felt the impending doom of their departure.
But she couldn't tell Gray this. If he thought there was no chance of her forgiving him, then he might give up on trying, and Juvia wanted to try. She wanted to try to love him fully.
Not to say that she hadn't forgiven her beloved. No, she understood how his mind worked, and she knew that it was just a Gray Fullbuster move. But none of the rationalizing, none of the forgiveness could make her forget how bitter and hollow it felt to wake up lonely in that house. Nothing could remove the cold feel of the rain against her skin, or numb the pain her throat endured as she screamed into the night, wondering where her Gray-sama had gone. No, forgetting would take a lot longer.
I'll wait, I'll wait
I love you like you've never felt the pain,
I'll wait
I promise you don't have to be afraid,
I'll wait
The love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me
Gray lied quietly in their bed, listening to his love sob next to him. He wanted to sit up and pull her into his arms, but he recognized she wasn't ready. Rushing her was the last thing he wanted to dor. After everything he's put her through, being patient was the least he could give her. He wished she would come talk to him, but he understood her hesitations. He just had to wait for her to reopen up to him, and then he would be able to show her how much he loved her.
He would be the man she spent so long waiting for, would be the one to make all her years of loneliness and desolation disappear. He would be the one to love her so much she forgot all the pain she's ever felt. The man just wanted to grab her and let her know that she didn't have to be anxious to talk to him, he was here to stay this time. His love for her only grew everyday, and this time, he would rather die than leave her again.
Little do you know
I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep
Little do you know
All my mistakes are slowly drowning me
Little do you know
I'm trying to make it better piece by piece
Little do you know
I, I love you 'til the sun dies
The ice mage saw that she would stay awake late into the night crying, and it had been going on since they had returned to Magnolia after the guild reformed. She would always do it late into the night so that no one would be awake for the rain, and by morning she had vented out enough for it to die down.
The pain Gray felt over knowing that he had done this to her was deafening. Even as he tried to make everything right, he regognized it would never be enough. He had done the worst thing possible to Juvia, left her deserted. He had overestimated her growth, had lied to himself in a vain attempt of justification, had tried to tell himself that she would be fine. In the back of his mind he had known that it was bullshit though. He didn't have any justification at all, he had been selfish. He had at one point tried to argue with himself that it was an idiot trait of Fairy Tail men, but even that couldn't hold. He was even more of a bastard than Gajeel, at least he never broke anyone mentally. Gray was an asshole, and he hated himself for that. He doubted he could ever amend his offenses, ever heal the wounds, but he would try. For her. Because even if he couldn't ever attone, even if her curse came back and Magnolia never got another sunny day; he would love her.
Oh wait, just wait
I love you like I've never felt the pain,
Just wait
I love you like I've never been afraid,
Just wait
Our love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me
As the rain began to drizzle away, Juvia welcomed the quiet. She knew that these moments were difficult, but given time, something would blossom. Juvia could only look forward to the day she would wake up without any hesitations, and though it would take years or even decades, Juvia had hope.
Hope for a time when her heart would come out of its timid shell and all the pain of her past would no longer hinder her love. None of the ex boyfriends, the family, and the supposed friends who she had been abandoned by would matter, because she would wake up every morning knowing that Fairy Tail would never leave her. Her love for Gray would only grow stronger. It just needed time.
Listening to the silence, Gray could feel Juvia's heartbeat ease to a normal pace, signaling she was done with her emotional release session for the night. When she laid down next to him, he brought her closer into his arms, playing it off as though he were still sleeping. He knew that she didn't want him to know her nightly strife just yet, and he respected that wish, but it didn't mean that he didn't want to help her. He could only wait for her to be ready.
Once she gave him the ok, he was prepared to go through hell for her forgiveness, to make peace with hi faults. He would fight to create a place where nothing from his past would get to them. Losing his parents, losing Ur, and his emotional constipation would no longer cripple his decisions. He would build a new life, a life where he could hold onto Juvia and never let her go. They would be each other's strength. It just needed time.
I'll wait (I'll wait), I'll wait(I'll wait)
I love you like you've never felt the pain,
I'll wait (I'll wait)
I promise you don't have to be afraid,
I'll wait
The love is here and here to stay
So lay your head on me
Lay your head on me
So lay your head on me
Juvia nestled into her lover's chest for the night, hoping to get some sleep. Feeling the cool press of his skin. She knew that no matter what endeavors lay ahead of her; she would face them with this man. Their love could stand it, and no matter what horrors she would face, she had Gray, and Gajeel, and all her friends to help her through it.
Gray inhaled the scent of his girlfriend's hair, letting her overwhelm him dreams. He would be here when she was ready to talk, and whatever she decided to do, he would help her. Nothing could tear them apart, and he had everything to look forward to.
'Cause little do you know
I, I love you 'til the sun dies
"I love you" they whispered to each other in their dreams.
So there you go. I had to write this since, in my opinion(and that of my sister), Mashima made Juvia forgive Gray WAY too easy. This should hold you guys off until I'm done with my multi-chaptered story. I don't want to publish it until it's done because I write sporadically and would hate to leave you guys hangin. So please bare with me.
See you guys next time Puddins