Disclaimer – I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia (Hidekaz Himaruya) or the poem 'My Friend, the Total Loser' (Dennis Lee).

Another day in World Academy came to another finish.

Elizaveta Héderváry reluctantly made her way to the Albino man. Her hands shook ever so slightly with every step of her feet, her face plastered with an awkward smile.

"G-Gilbert…" Snow white hair flung around as he turned to look at his caller, quickly forgetting the certain Gilbird he was petting. He gave a grin, fully turning to face her and going into a slacking poise.

"You called for awesome?" Her smile twitched.

"Full of hot-air again, I see?" She growled. His grin seemed to grow wider, an arrogant vibe coming off from it.

"Yep, and I'm proud of it!" Elizaveta let out a sigh.

"So what are you doing here, anyways? You're usually off somewhere else with Roderich." He made a face as he said the name. The Hungarian paled, remember why she was there.

"A-About that…" She took out a small envelope, hands trembling as she handed it to Gilbert.

"What's this?" He asked, and slightly chapped lips seemed to curl up into a grin. "Does little Ms. Héderváry have a crush on me?" Instant blush.

"N-No! What's w-wrong with you, bird-brain!" A howl of laughter came out of the Albino, drawing a bit of attention towards him and the flustered Hungarian from several students.

"Just o-open it…" Gilbert – lips still plastered with a mocking grin – tore the side of the envelope and took out the letter inside. Curiously, his eyes began to scan the piece of word-filled paper as he began to read. As he was distracted, the flustered brunette made a mad dash to the library, leaving before Gilbert could start teasing her.

Some people think
We can't be friends,
Because our kidding
Never ends.
But I made up
This perfect rhyme,
To say you're not
A piece of slime.
So if you'll kindly
Hold your peace,
I'll read-ta-da!-
My masterpiece.

"A person needs
A friend a lot,
And a friend is what
I'm glad I've got;
So thank you, thank you…"

There, it's said-
I feel my face
Becoming red,
And I wish you wouldn't
Grin that way;
Your mouth looks like
An ice-cube tray.
But even though
You're such a jerk,
With your feeble jokes
And your goofy smirk,
I'm here to say
You really rule.

You're smarter than
A wooden stool,
And sweeter than
A garbage dump,
And cleaner than
A horse's rump.
I like the way
You save on socks-
You wear them till
They're hard as rocks.
And I think those crooked
Teeth are keen-
Your mouth looks like
A slot machine,
And every time
I see you grin,
I stick another
Quarter in.

You make me laugh
'Till we trip on chairs.
One day we nearly
Fell downstairs-
But still, you're kind of
Brave, I guess,
Your NO means NO,
Your YES means YES.
And even when
It makes you shrink,
You say the things
You truly think.
In fact your mouth
Is never closed;
Your tonsils blush
They're so exposed.
And your tweety voice
Is never quiet;
They must put birdseed
In your diet.
But still, you know,
When we kid a lot
The time for kidding,
The time for not-
Cause often things
I say to you,
I'd hide, if other
People knew.

You choke me up,
You make me sneeze,
I've caught you like
A rare disease;

I'd like to come and
Rub your back,
I'd like to feed you
Cracker Jack,
And send you messages
In code
And ride along you
Like a road
And bath you till your
Fleas are gone
And stuff you like
A mastodon,
And let's hang out
In Rundle Park,
There's still an hour
Before it's dark;
Cause some things last, and
Some things end-

I want you always
For my FRIEND.

A snicker left the Albino's mouth, grinning at the piece of paper. A warm, sincere feeling of happiness seemed to fill Gilbert. He folded the paper up, and shoved it in his pocket. Content, he began to make his way home. 'I'll have to think up of something awesome for her…' he noted, chuckling.

Sheep: . . .
Prussia: . . .
Hunagry: . . .
Sheep: WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST WRITE.
Prussia: I could be asking the same. But I didn't write it. SO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST WRITE?
Hungary: . . .
Sheep: Don't review, this is crappy.