A/N: This is a joint story with cajaindiastracey, and it's her first story, I believe. So please tell us what you think of it as well, because it is also my first joint story.

Sarah and Caja xxxx

Henrik Hanssen hesitated as he brought the scalpel down towards the skin of the patient lying on the table. He breathed deeply before bringing the knife closer still to the flesh, glancing around to make sure that everything and everyone was perfect and in place before attempting to continue. He was fighting his own hands by now, and he already knew the battle was lost when Sahira looked up at him with concern in her dark eyes. The scalpel was touching the skin of the patient when he felt Sahira's hand on his. "Your hands, Henrik," she said. "They're shaking."

He slowly met her gaze with regret; she really was worried. She had no need to be. He was fine, and that would be what she got to hear. He knew that shaking hands were not the first indication that someone was perfectly alright, but he knew he would have to let her take over and it would give him time to consider his position. He handed her the scalpel and agreed to supervise her.

She held her silence about it until they were almost finished operating. It was then that she asked, "Why exactly are your hands trembling?"

"It's nothing, Miss Shah," he replied tonelessly. He did not want the fear to creep into his words so he forced his tone to remain completely flat, as though he felt nothing at all. There was no point in worrying about it right now anyway. His hands were just shaking. It could be anything from hunger to caffeine to just low blood pressure. "I am absolutely fine," he added, knowing in his heart it was a lie.

"You don't look it," she persisted relentlessly. It was clear in her face that she knew he had his ideas about what was wrong with him. He always did. That was the problem here: Sahira had known him so long that she knew when he was lying and when he was having thoughts to himself.

"There is nothing wrong with me!" he shouted, shocking her into silence, into a state of frozenness. "Just leave it alone and concentrate on completing this procedure!" Never mind Sahira, he had just stunned himself. He had shouted at Sahira. He never did that to her. She had always been the one who never took the brunt of his anger because he could never, ever, try and hurt her. So why did he just let loose at her for trying to make sure he was alright? It made no sense to him.

Sahira said nothing more about it, but the procedure was finished in a tense silence that even the anaesthetists and scrub nurses felt nervous in. When everyone else was scrubbed out and while Sahira was washing every inch of her arms up to her elbows, Hanssen was leaning forwards against a wall. He felt angry, but he would be damned if he could figure out why he felt like that. He felt like, if given the opportunity, he would smack someone to get rid of the inexplicable tension.

He suddenly strode over to the sinks and mimicked Sahira's movements, but his hands were still trembling. She waited until his hands were dry to speak again. "Henrik, what's wrong with you?" she sighed. She had watched his hands tremble under the running water, and she had watched as he fumbled ever so slightly, not much but enough that she noticed since he never fumbled when grabbing anything, with the paper towel. Something here was wrong.

There had been something off about him for a few weeks; the shortness of his usually elastic temper, and the level of noise emanating from his mouth when he lost it as he did in theatre just then. The fact that he had even stopped giving his little smirk when he knew he was right, and he forgot what he was saying halfway through a conversation. They were all very small things and they would, on their own, be insignificant. But they were all there.

She waited for him to flip out at her again, but he did no such thing. Instead, he glared at her for her concern, as if trying to make her quiver under his intimidating gaze. But he seemed to forget how long she'd known him for; that stare did not frighten her anymore. She knew he would never harm her, therefore there was nothing to be feared from the glare that scared the hell out of many other people.

He stalked out of the room, the door swinging behind him. He walked the corridors. He needed solitude, a place where nobody would bother him with their questions and their concern. Where nobody would find him. Where nobody could see just how much this worried him. He had, whether others saw it or not, changed subtly in the past weeks, even months. He found himself struggling for the right word, when he normally had the broadest vocabulary, particularly of sarcasm, of anybody he knew. He noticed he tripped a little more often than he used to. And, and this was what bothered him most, his temper had become pretty vile at times in the past few weeks. It had found a personality of its own, and he never really knew when it would snap. Or what the result would be. He had always been calm and collected, but he had just demonstrated to Sahira that that particular side to his temper was volatile. Sometimes it was there, sometimes there was no control.

It was in the safety of the busy AAU Ward where he found solitude, after wandering the hospital in his dark red scrubs. Solitude in a crowd. He found this concept a little ironic, but he also understood it perfectly: if everyone was busy keeping troublesome patients in their beds and worried families at peace, they would not give him a second glance. He received a few greetings of "Good afternoon, Mr. Hanssen," but, unlike Sahira, they did not spare a glance to take in the detail that Sahira constantly saw when she looked at him.

He was well aware that Sahira was not stupid enough to believe that he was perfectly fine. The truth was, he wasn't fine at all, and he was painfully conscious of this. So, it appeared, was Sahira. They were in this together now, because she would not let this go until she found out what was happening, and maybe, just maybe, he could not face it on his own.

Hope it was alright!

Please review and tell us what you think!

Sarah and Caja xxxx