In the End the song copyright Linkin' Park. Lyrics taken from the song, apologies for mistakes. Ranma copyright Takahashi Rumiko-sensei.
"It starts with one..."
I heard the words, feeling the intro music finished its near twenty-second phrase and got ready to sing the lyrics.
"One thing...I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try..."
Again, the memories returned unbidden to my mind the way that they do every time that I sing. The cooking, the Art, the people...everything.
"Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain the due time-all I know..."
How she hit me, how she never listened to me. All of the girls, really. I tell them, they never listen. Posses me...that they want to do. But understand me, gain my trust and love? Nope, never entered their mind.
"That time is a valuable thing..."
Never enough of it. Or always too much. The mere milliseconds more I would have needed to change my trajectory before entering the pond that changed my life so much...though should I have? The many decisions I cannot change but still question.
"Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away. It's so unreal..."
Pandas, pigs, women, ducks, Yeti-eel-hybrids, it is unreal. And yet we wasted all our time, never going and searching together for a cure. With a common problem, why not find a common solution? Because everyone was selfish, out for themself...me more than most perhaps. Ignoring honor to get what I wanted, putting myself ahead of the family.
"You didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window. Trying to hold on, but you didn't even know, or wasted it all just to watch you cooommmee..."
Trying to have it all, we all wasted what we had, leaving it to slip through our collective fingers. Rather than take comfort in our friendships, we abused them, taking advantage of each other, never really trusted.
"I kept everything inside, and even though I tried, it all fell apart..."
I never trusted...not even myself. I thought that I always won, but no one person can do everything. I thought that I was a mountain upon which adversity would break, but forgot that the even the greatest mountains eventually wear away, making change the only constant.
"What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time I tried so hard..."
Tried, and failed. My fault...all of it. I was at the heart of everyone's distrust. I could have brought everyone together, but instead I did nothing to stop it, reacting rather than acting.
"And got so far...but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
Here was the short break in the middle...like Jusendou. Things were good for a short period of time, but it was only a breather.
"I had to fall, to lose it all...but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
To realize what I had, I had to lose it...to my sorrow. The things that you could have done differently and better should not be cause for regret, since you would not have done anything differently given those circumstances. But knowing that just one different decision could have saved everything...
"One thing-I don't know why-it doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard..."
If I always try as hard as I can, then things will either turn out alright or not. I was already putting all my effort into it, so what else could I have done? If I don't go all out next time, then I will still be committed, so it doesn't matter. The only thing to do is to treat the matter at hand as a learning experience, and do something else next time if that was a bad choice. I know this...but I still have regrets.
"In spite of the way you were mocking me..."
Ryouga, Tarou, Ryuu, Happosai, Tatewaki, Pop.
"Acting like I was part of your property..."
Akane, Ukyou, Xian Pu, Kodachi, Ku Lon.
"Remembering all the times you fought with me..."
Everyone...
"I'm surprised it got so far..."
I saved her life...was ready to marry her...but all the fights, the wedding disaster itself...
"Things aren't the way they were before..."
I miss them, even now.
"You wouldn't even recognize me anymore..."
None of them would. Except maybe for Mom...she always seemed drawn to me, even when I was presented under false pretenses. I might not recognize me now...even knowing what none of them did.
"Not that you knew me back then, but it al comes back to me in the End..."
They never really knew me, only seeing whatever was convenient for their personal world view. Pervert, or fiance, or object of affection, or even student. I was all of these, but never only one. Only in their minds did I meet such narrow restrictions.
"We kept everything inside, and even though I tried, it all fell apart..."
None of us told each other what we really felt. Ryouga's curse, Akane's loss, Pop's plans, Mom's beliefs, even Kasumi's dislikes...all we kept to ourselves.
"What it meant to me, well I bet you made me a memory of the time I tried so haarrrd..."
Everyone seeing reality as they want to...a problem that I am not immune to now. But better to know that you have a problem and be working to correct it than to be ignoring it.
"And got so far...but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
My singing done for the song, I have a short break...something I almost never got. Ghosts, spirits, enchanted dolls, demons, Happosai...wait, already said demons...oh well. It never ended.
"I had to fall, to lose it all....but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
Losing so much...though it has almost become worth it. Even now, though, I think that I would change everything in a heartbeat if I could. Despite my insights, despite the problems, for the things that I did have...
"I've put my trust in you...pushed as far as I could go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know..."
I trusted them...assumed that they had the same code I had. They didn't...
"I've put my trust in you...pushed as far as I could go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know..."
But is that so wrong? The golden rule, treat others as you would be treated...I should treat them as respectable and honorable martial artists, but still respect them in their own right. Just because I was the best I almost abused my superior abilities.
"I tried so hard, and got so far...but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
I could have done so much better...but so could have everyone. If they were in the position of knowing the outcome, they too would have tried for a better end. Just because I didn't like them as they were does not mean that they are incapable of improvement. I don't really like how I was then, either, treating everyone as lesser than me, rejecting my curse...well, everyone can be a better person when they know how not to act. I am a better person for what I went through, and should be satisfied with that...but I am not.
"I had to fall, to lose it all...but in the End, it doesn't even matter..."
And I did...and it doesn't, ultimately.