Title: Decisions
Author: Jo. R
Rating: All ages.
Category: Sam/Jack, fluff
Spoilers: None really. Inspired by Atlantis S5 speculation.
Summary: Sam makes a decision
Authors Note: Short, fluffy and kinda odd, but something that wouldn't leave me alone.
It was the both the hardest and the easiest decision she'd ever made. Hard because she'd come to care about the people she was leaving behind, because she knew logically that the decision to leave wasn't necessarily the best decision to make for her career.
Easy because it was the only decision her heart would allow her to make.
For eleven years, she'd put her life on hold. Sure, she'd tried to find a balance between love and duty, between happiness and honour. It hadn't worked. She'd found one of the nicest, most understanding men in two galaxies and still it had failed.
Pete hadn't been enough for her, and had shown her that no one else but him ever would.
Leaving the SGC, leaving Earth... That decision had really been made for her. It was what her superiors wanted, what the career minded side of her brain said she should do.
It was what he'd wanted, because he'd been so damn proud of her and wanted to give her as many chances as possible to shine in her own right.
The decision to come back from that, to return to Earth where she'd have a pretty cool job but less of a command-orientated one to what she'd become used to... That decision was hers, and hers alone. She'd the IOA to keep him out of the loop for as long as possible and they had; they'd fought her long and hard about it, though, maybe thinking that he'd be able to talk her out of it when their own attempts had proved fruitless.
Saying goodbye had hurt. She'd become close to most of the people who served underneath her, to Colonel Sheppard and his team in particular. Even Rodney McKay had become someone she thought she could call a friend, though she swore to herself she'd never tell him that – although she was reasonably sure he was over whatever fixation he'd once had, she didn't want to say or do anything that might risk it making a comeback. She'd spoken to them all on an individual basis, said goodbye to Teyla in the new nursery in the Athosians quarters, Rodney in his lab, Doctor Keller in the infirmary and Ronon in the gym. She'd said goodbye to John on the balcony and promised she'd make sure he got regular shipments of the latest football games on DVD.
And then she'd left, stepping into the wormhole that seemed to embrace her like an old friend, welcoming her home even before she stepped foot on the ramp at the SGC.
SG-1 had been called to the Gateroom, their reunion sweet but not as personal as she'd have liked. She'd endured Vala's enthusiastic hug, returning it with one of her own and promising the dark haired woman they'd get together for a girls only day soon. She'd embraced Teal'c and felt tears spring to her eyes at his quiet murmur that he was pleased she had returned. She'd hugged Cameron, rolling his eyes when he asked if she'd come to get the band back together and she'd slipped easily into Daniel's arms, a comfortable silence enveloping them as they stood together for countless seconds just sharing a moment that no one else could have.
"Does Jack know you're here?" Daniel had been the one to ask as she'd known he would be, taking a step back to look her in the eye. He'd grinned knowingly at the blush that stole across her cheeks as she shook her head, a mischievous glint in his eye that took her back at least three years. "I didn't think so."
It didn't take long for the group to move somewhere a little quieter or for Sam to get them all to promise not to tell the absentee General that she was back. She spent as much time as she could with them before they left to embark on the mission her arrival had delayed and she embarked on her own journey to Washington DC.
The office was standard, as far as offices in the Pentagon went. She'd seen quite a few of them in her time stationed there and the only thing that stood out in stark comparison between it and those in her memory was the prim and proper looking woman who sat at the desk in front of the door to General O'Neill's office, the one who glared at her over tortoise shell rimmed glasses when she dared enquire if the man himself was available.
"General O'Neill is a very busy man," the woman told her haughtily. "You should have made an appointment."
Sam fixed a smile on her face, refusing to let the intimidating woman see that she'd annoyed her. Where had the young, peppy Lieutenant she'd spoken to on the phone just over a year ago gone? He'd been nice, even if he had been suffering from an intense case of hero-worship where the original members of SG-1 had been concerned. "Could you just tell him I'm here? If he then decides he's too busy to see me, I'll go without a fuss."
The matronly woman she'd decided to call the Dragon in her mind opened her mouth as if to protest then pursed her lips as though she'd eaten something sour. "I suppose I could do that." The corner of her mouth turned upwards ever so slightly as an evil gleam appeared in her eyes. "The General doesn't tolerate interruptions."
"I'm sure he doesn't." Sam turned her own smile up a notch, fighting the urge to press the button on the intercom herself. "Now if you could just tell him I'm here..."
Dragon-lady slowly picked up the receiver and put it to her ear, her bony fingers hovering over the button that would connect her to the phone just a few feet behind the closed door. "And whom shall I say is interrupting his day?"
"Colonel Samantha Carter." If she'd been expecting a reaction, some kind of recognition, Sam would've been disappointed.
Dragon-lady smirked, the look on her face curiously pitying and her finger pressed down lightly on the much-used button. "General O'Neill," she began after a moment, " I'm sorry to interrupt, Sir, but there's a Colonel here to see you. No, Sir, there's no appointment in your diary... A Colonel Carter, Sir, Colonel Sam—Oh."
The receiver was replaced slowly, as though the woman was in shock. She glared almost accusingly at Sam but before she could speak, the door to the connecting office swung open.
And there he was.
Sam smiled nervously, hands clasped in front of her as her eyes greedily drank in the sight of him. His hair was mused, the top button of his shirt undone. She stared and stood still whilst his own eyes trailed over her, studying her from head to toe before slowly making their way back up to her face.
"Hey." She unclasped her hands and let them fall to her sides, kicking herself internally as the ability to be eloquent deserted her.
"Carter. Sam." The confusion on his face gave way to a slow grin, his body taking an almost involuntary step forward. "Did I know you were going to be here...?"
She smiled and took a small step forward herself, only half-aware of the disapproving look on Dragon-lady's face. "No." She bit her lip and squared her shoulders. "The IOA asked me to tell you that you need to find a new commander for the Atlantis expedition, Sir. Seems they thought you'd take it better coming from me."
The confused look was back, joined by a thin thread of surprise. "You're not going back?"
Unable to speak passed the lump that rose in her throat, Sam shook her head and clasped her hands again, fingers wrapping together as she stared at him and willed him to understand. "I hope you're not disappointed..."
"Dis... Disappointed?" He took another step forward, hands reaching out to cover hers. The grin that spread over his face was a typical Jack O'Neill grin but still created butterflies in the pit of her somersaulting stomach. "That's the stupidest thing you've ever said," he muttered, tightening his hands around hers as his eyes searched her face. "Are you sure, Sam...? Don't do something you're gonna regret..."
"No regrets, Jack. Not about this." She managed a tremulous smile when one of his hands left hers to touch her cheek, a look of wonder on his face. "I missed you," she admitted quietly, blue eyes locking with brown. "I don't want to wait anymore. I want... I want us. I want there to be an us."
The grin returned in full force, joined by a softness in his eyes that she'd come to love seeing there. Love and miss since her transfer to Atlantis. "How can I be disappointed with that?"
It was a rhetorical question. She smiled at him, the nerves dissipating into anticipation. Jack grinned back. She didn't know how long they stood there, holding hands, grinning like idiots at each other but it soon became apparent that it'd been too long for Dragon-lady's liking.
"General O'Neill, Sir, your next appointment..."
"Cancel it." His eyes never left Sam's as his thumb stroked her knuckles in slow, soothing circles. "Cancel all of my meetings. Today and tomorrow."
"But Sir... You can't... What should I say...?" Sam risked a glance at the other woman, the corners of her lips twitching at the aghast look on her face. She almost felt sorry for her – almost, but not quite as Dragon-lady soon fixated on her with an accusing glare. "It isn't appropriate, Sir..."
Jack shrugged, his gaze leaving Sam's face for a brief moment. "Can't say I'm caring about that." He tossed his secretary a quick, boyish grin. "Just do it, Martha. Tell 'em whatever you want." He tightened the hand still wrapped around Sam's and started tugging her with him towards the outer-door of the small reception area. "I'll be back on Thursday. Maybe. I'll call ya."
She let him pull her out of the office and into the hallway but her sense of decorum returned with the bustle and noise of day to day life at the Pentagon. Reluctantly pulling her hand away from his, Sam met his raised eyebrow with a shy smile, quickening her pace so she could walk beside him, meeting his long strides with her own.
Easy or hard, Sam reflected, glancing at the man beside her only to find he was glancing at her, leaving Atlantis was going to be the best decision she'd ever made.
Fluff, fluff, fluffity fluff...