This is completely AU and maybe a little weird but...oh well. I had to write it. It's a one shot.
What's VERY important to know.
Dan's book sl from s5 had happened, but the Milo story occured after. That's only because I see an interesting parallel with Milo Dan as a potential dad now when Blair's pregnant. (especially after 5x03 scene). Also, my favorite "you'll still have me" scene didn't happen (you'll se why).
Hope you enjoy, and please, review.
...
Milo was unbearable. He was crying for the 3d time this day and probably 123d this week. Once he wants a bottle, then his diaper needs to be changed, and once it's just because he doesn't feel comfortable or in the mood. He was literally whimpering when Dan had to violently grasp a dangerous piece of wood he was trying to put in his mouth. Where did he even find it?
Dan's alone for God's sake.
And it's not his only duty.
He needs to prepare meals, cleans the loft, always provide fresh air and right temperature in the room where Milo was (and he was everywhere).
He needed to pay bills and above all, deal with the failure of his book about UES life.
His book manager, Alessandra was calling too often.
Well, too often for a single dad.
And he didn't even had time to care about that stupid book anyway.
He managed to do everything on time, to make everything right, to complete all his daily duties and insufficient time to enjoy with this cute little creature.
Now seeing him being curled up in his soft baby blanket with brown eyes sparkling looming up from below. Hearing his cute laugh almost made him teary-eyed.
Despite everything he makes such a horrible dad.
He abandoned himself to despair, but that was obviously not enough.
When Georgina showed up few months ago, pregnant, becoming a father felt surreal. And even now, from time to time, when he's giving Milo a bottle or singing a song about "aunt Jenny" (his favorite) he asks himself if this is all a dream.
He got wedgged with this whole "daddy" thing that he had no time to care about the fact no one was currently there to give him a hand, or...maybe just CALL.
"This is your loft, this is my loft,.." he started singing but Milo was still crying.
"Alright, alright we won't sing that one. Hmmm wait your grandpa was a rockstar, there must be something..."
suddenly, his phone rang and the ringing-sound made brought up a smile on Milo's face again.
"Wait, daddy has to take this one."
Still holding his boy he took the call activating loudspeaker.
Caught in this whole mess he completely forgot to check whose call was he taking, but he continued anyway :
"Hi?"
He was utterly shocked when he heard Blair Waldorf's voice from the other side.
"Whoa...B.." he said in a shaky voice "Blair?" he repeated in disbelief.
He would never, in his craziest dreams imagine that she would call again. After writing that they have sex in his book she was furious.
Of course she was, she was marrying Royalty and he royally screwed her and put her engagement in a risky situation.
Then she heard about Milo and she avoided him ever since.
Dan placed Milo on the sofa as she continued.
"Humphrey" she said shyly.
"What...ermm.." he was trying to find the best way to start talking without doing his typical Humphrey-rambling.
"Where are you?" Blair asked quickly like she was trying to get over it as fast as possible.
"Oh I don't know, Ibiza, or maybe even Hawaii. I don't remember but don't my manager has it all written."
She sighed.
"Humphrey..."
"What?"
"I was asking if you're in the loft."
"Why?"
Milo was impatiently whirling everywhere staring at Dan pursing his sweet tiny baby lips.
"Actually I wanted to..." she cleared her throat,.."come over".
"I guess you ..can do that. If you really want." he finally replied feeling his right hand trembling under preassure. His mouth gone dry.
"Okay, wait for me then."
...
When she entered the loft it really looked like each room became a nursery all of a sudden. Just like he became dad all of a sudden.
She opened the door as if it was her home.
The truth is, she actually is very attached to this place. A place where she and "Humphrey" had so many intellectual debates about movie-classics, books, art, even arguing about Dan's horrible taste and the lack of fashion-sense.
Sometimes they were just sitting in silence enjoying each others company (even though they'd be loathe to admit it) eating something Dan would prepare or order. A place where she was weeping because of The Nights of Cabiria and Dan would comfort her over it.
Now, this place was completely different. Baby clothes, diapers, bottles, take-out food boxes, tissues were all over the place Even a thermometer and syrups. That's because few days ago Milo got a terrible cold. Dan had a hard time dealing with it since he was ..well...alone, but he fought and succeed in the end.
"Dan..." the words just started coming out of her mouth "I..."
"Blair.." he said in a whispering voice "I'm sorry Milo just fell asleep."
"Oh, it's fine, it's fine" she said automatically lowering her voice.
"Listen, I...think I need a friend if you're still..."
"Of course I am." she said showing her to sit making place removing some toys that were on the couch.
"Do you want some tea?"
"I'd love to. Thanks."
When he finally sat beside her he started...
"Blair, I need to apologize. I might have crossed the line with the whole book fiasco, but I really didn't mean to hurt you or jeopardize your engagement and relationship with Louie..I guess I was just...not prepared for what's coming and never, Blair you need to trust me, ever, thought that that shit will get published. It was Vanessa and..."
"That book is behind us Humphrey. I know it's all fiction and I won't even go there and question whether your feelings for Serena are real..." she stopped "In fact, I know they are.."
"...Put yourself together woman. It's not fiction. I love you..." he was thinking for himself but kept quiet and nodded.
"Yeah well..."
"Shh." she said gagging him..."Just..." tears were now running down her delicate, rosy cheeks. She wipped them away and quickly got back to normal.
He was staring at her lips, observing her in silence as she was the most beautiful piece of art he had ever seen.
He wanted to give her a warm hug, to take her hand and never let it go, to cup her cheeks and give her a kiss.
Blair gave him a meaningful look and he knew.
She knows that his feelings are real. She doesn't mean what she just said.
"That's not why I'm here..."
"Blair, is everything alright?" he asked trying to get back to normal.
"I'm ..."
Milo.
Again.
Silly boy, he really is intorelable sometimes.
"Wait I need to check up on him, excuse me for a sec."
She nodded.
...
"Next time try to sleep for at least 15 minutes okay?" he was now talking to Milo kissing his both cheeks softly giving him a warm smile.
Baby smiled back this time and he was ready to put him back to sleep.
That's when he continued to revolt because he didn't feel sleepy.
"Ohh fine, but just one song..."
"Little Milo sleep tight, only fooor one night." he was singing it in the melody of "Trinkle trinkle little star" and then when his eyes were closing again he finally placed him back in his crib.
"There."
Blair was now at the door quietly regarding what he was doing.
"Blair..."
"Dan sorry to interrupt you two are just so..."
Something was telling her to get back to "normal" as soon as possible. When did she get so weak?
She cleared her throat before she continued "I mean...I didn't know you had to sing, Humphrey"
This was more in a "Blair Waldorf" manner.
He lightly chuckled at what she just said.
"Dan, I wanted to tell you that I'm...well I am pregnant."
First Georgina now Blair?
"..and...I didn't know where else to go because...I am not sure if the baby is Louis's...I think I should check if..."
Dan was standing there, his body still stiff, frozen.
"But when did you tw..."
Never mind. Shut up Dan. Breathe.
"You're saying it could be...Chuck's?" he repeated.
"Yes." she nodded taking a deep breath.
"But I'm afraid to take the test. That's the problem...Because if it's not Louie's I...don't know what to do..should I, I mean..tell him or...I'm just so lost."
Dan had so much understanding for the situation she was in right now. He can't abandon her. He would be mad to do such thing.
"I think you should know who the father is...if not for yourself then for the baby." Dan repied with the last atom of strength he pulled out of somewhere.
She nodded and looked down still desperate.
"Do you want it to be Chuck's? Or you want it to be Louie's? I mean if I'm allowed to ask such thing..." he continued
Seeing how cute he was around Milo, how careful, with so much love.
He had so much strength and carried on no matter what. What he did for the baby all alone was..incredible and aroused only respect and admiration in her.
She looked at him straight in the eye, her thoughts were a mess, and so was her life, but one thing she was well aware of was evident. And she decided to say it out loud.
"I wish it was yours."