A/N This takes place after chapter ten.
"Ah!"
I shoot up from my bed to find myself in a cold sweat once again. It's almost been a week since it happened and I'm still having nightmares about it. The words Kou said still resonate in my mind.
"I could rape you right now."
"You take guys too lightly."
"Guys can easily assault a girl whether they like her or not."
I know he was only trying to teach me a lesson but I've never seen that look in his eyes before. It was dark and cold. Cold enough to freeze my blood. That's the Kou who's haunting my dreams.
Kou is kind. Kou only means well. Kou is a good person. I think if I repeat this enough I'll be able to look him in the eyes again, but every time I think about it I imagine him pinning me to the ground with eyes that send shivers down my spine and I chicken out.
I look over to my clock and see that it's already four in the morning. I suppose there's no use in trying to go back to sleep now. It's best to use this time to practice seeing Kou today. We have a class rep meeting so I can't avoid it like I have been. I give my face a few good slaps and start practicing in my mirror until it's time to go to school.
"Good morning!" I'm giving everyone my morning greetings like usual, I can do this! I step into the classroom and see that Kou isn't here yet. Thank goodness. No, wait. I shouldn't be hoping that I don't see him I have to face him today! Ugh, my mind is a mess.
"Hey, hey, Futaba-chan!"
I'm broken out of my trance by Yuri who's standing in front of me looking a bit conflicted.
"Oh, sorry. What is it?"
"Class is over, are you okay? You have circles under your eyes and you were spaced out all throughout class."
Class is over? I look up to see that no one else is around, was I really that absorbed in my thoughts?
"Uh, I just didn't get much sleep last night. I'm fine, really."
Now I'm worrying Yuri-chan too, I just need to buckle up and talk to him like normal.
"Is that so? Well alright, just don't forget you have to go to the class rep meeting with Mabuchi-kun today!"
Talking about Kou makes her eyes light up but it makes my body tense all over.
"I won't forget!" I give her the best smile I can and do my best to act as usual as possible but the day is going by entirely too fast for my liking.
The dreaded final bell rings and I'm hurriedly putting all my stuff into my bag so Kou wont have enough time to turn around.
Too late.
"We have that class rep meeting today, right? I don't know why there are so many, it's so tiring."
Damn! I still can't get myself to look him in the eyes.
"It-it's our duty as class reps, anyways I'll be going ahead!"
I throw the rest of my things into my bag and run out of the room.
Shit, that wasn't normal at all. It's ok! You'll have another chance at the meeting and then everything will be fine. Just keep a cool head. Though that's what I told myself but I immediately freeze up when Kou sits down next to me. I snap my head up to look directly ahead of me. Maybe I don't need to look him in the eye, as long as I speak to him I'll be fine.
"What was that all about? Earlier you looked like you were running away from a fire."
You'll be fine, just answer him normally. It'll be alright. Just be calm.
"I-I just really had to go to the bathroom and I didn't want to trouble you."
"Hm. Okay."
Yes! You did it, you had a somewhat regular interaction with Kou.
He didn't speak to me for the rest for the rest of the meeting so I thought I was in the clear. Just as I was getting ready to leave he proved that thought wrong.
"Yoshioka." Hearing my name made me stop dead in my tracks.
"What?" I still have yet to face him directly, but this is fine, right?
"Look at me." He said it with such a decisive tone I had to comply.
As I turn around and I feel myself start to tremble.
"Have you been avoiding me?"
Oh no.
"N-no."
He's getting closer.
"You're lying. If something's bothering you, you can talk to me."
I can't.
"I'm fine, really."
I'm scared.
He goes to reach for my hand and I instinctively pull away.
"I've really got to get home, I'll see you next week."
This is bad. I have to get out of here.
"Wait!"
He takes me by my shoulders and looks me directly in the eye.
"You've been acting weird lately. You have bags under your eyes, you haven't talked to me in a week, what is going on?"
I can't stop shaking.
I feel like I'm going to throw up.
The tears are welling up in my eyes.
I can't do this.
It takes all my strength to shake him off and I break out in a dead run. I don't stop until I get to my bedroom.
I collapse. I'm hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably. I stay like this until I pass out.
When I wake up, I feel worse than I think I ever have in my lifetime. Yesterday could not have gone worse, but thank god it's the weekend since it's nearing two pm. Now it's been a week since that happened. I need to think of a way to get myself together. My mom always says that talking to people will make you feel better. Who should I talk to though?
Yuri?
No, I'd have to explain my feelings for Kou and now isn't really the time for that.
Shuuko?
No, if I talk to her about Kou she might tell Yuri and I have to be the one to talk things over with Yuri.
Kominato-kun?
No, I don't know him very well and he's pretty good friends with Kou.
Then I remember something Kou said.
"I'm really just talking with them."
Is that why he goes there? To talk to them about things that he can't talk about with us? If that's the case I think I'd like to try going there.
Alright! It's set! I'm going there tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a good idea on how to get back there and it was tonight that all those people were there. Kou said he doesn't go often so I won't worry about that.
Ah, but all the girls I saw there looked really cute. They were all dressed quite western, wearing short skirts and very low cut tops. I don't think I own anything like that. I rummage around my dresser in attempts to find something to wear that won't make me stand out. I finally decide on the tightest blue skinny jeans I own with a black belt and a semi low cut plain white t shirt I originally bought as pajamas, because I liked the way it hugged my curves, matched with black kitten heels. I spend the next hour or so straightening my hair, to put half of it back, and trying out new makeup techniques I saw in a magazine I read a little while ago. I take out my false eyelashes and red lip gloss back from my "cute" days, and I finish up by putting on my necklace with an angel charm that lies right in the crook of my breasts.
By the time I finish getting ready it's already five pm! I figure it'll take about a hour to get there by train so in case I'm late I'll leave a note for my parents.
Now I'm on the train and I'm feeling a little nervous. Don't these people drink and smoke? But Kou said he just talks with them, so I can too, right? These aren't really the kind of people I want as friends, though I'm not going here to make friends I'm just going to talk to an unbiased party. Maybe this really was a bad idea...
As I'm about to get off the train and make my retreat back home I see a familiar face boarding.
"Hey! You're Kou-kun's friend right?" Kou-kun? Oh, he's the boy who was with Kou the night I followed him around, and the night that happened.
"Yeah, I guess." I can't keep the sorrow from altering my expression.
"Aw, what's wrong? Such a cute girl shouldn't look so sad." This boy is looking me in the eyes and I don't feel uncomfortable.
"Oh, nothing. Actually I'm getting off here." I should get home, I'll think of something else to ease my mind.
He grabs my hand.
"Don't be so hasty! I'm going to hang out with a few friends of mine, it'll definitely cheer you up." This boy's smile is so genuine. I suppose it won't be so scary going there now that I have someone by my side.
"Sure, that sounds fun."
"By the way, where were you going? Don't you live near Kou-kun? His house is in the opposite direction."
"I was actually planning on going to the place where I met you that night, but I was getting cold feet and was about to go home."
"What a coincidence, than this works out perfectly!"
This guy is so upbeat, he really makes me feel at ease. This was definitely the right decision after all.
"Oh! Sorry sorry, you don't even know my name yet do you? I'm Kakeru Suzuki, just call me Kakeru. Nice to meet you again."
"I'm Futaba Yoshioka."
"Waaah! So long, hmm. Let's see."
Kakeru tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and takes the charm on my necklace between his fingers.
"May I call you Angel? Since you look heavenly."
I feel a blush crawl across my face as I manage to reply.
"Sure."
A little while after we reach our destination. The last time I was here I don't remember it being so lively. There are lots of people, the majority of them passing around a paper bag or smoking cigarettes. I want to tell them to stop, but I don't want to stand out more than I already do. As Kakeru and I walk through the crowd of people I feel many stares on our backs and people who were just laughing loudly with each other are now whispering. When I left the house I was sure I'd blend in. So I lean up to whisper in Kakeru's ear.
"Kakeru, why are people staring? Do I really look like I don't belong here?"
"Don't worry Angel, they've just never seen someone like you around here before."
Before I got the chance to ask him what he meant by that Kakeru runs a bit farther up and motions me towards a group of people.
"Everyone, this is Angel. Angel this is everyone!"
Kakeru pushes me in front of him to face the people before me.
"U-uh, nice to meet you all."
I bow my head and they all roar with laughter.
"Come on! No need to be so formal, I'm Rima."
Rima was quite a petite girl, no taller than five feet with big brown deer like eyes and long wavy black hair.
"Are you Kakeru's girlfriend? You don't seem his type."
"Oh no, we just met recently."
Kakeru smiled.
"Yeah, she's too pure for a guy like me."
After I exchange names with everyone we all go on talking about our daily lives, and I feel comforted being able to escape my thoughts for a moment. Everyone accepts me immediately, even if I look a bit cuter than normal. It feels nice to be in a group of people where I don't have to be worried.
"Anyways, Angel. Why are you here? We've never see you around here before."
I can speak freely around these people.
"Honestly, I couldn't talk to anyone I know, and a friend of mine said sometimes he comes here to talk, so I thought I would too."
"Do you need to get something off your chest sweetheart? We're all ears."
I can be honest with these people. I don't have to hold back.
So I go on to tell them about that night, the nightmares that followed, how I'm avoiding Kou and what happened when I tried to face him.
"So, he pinned you to the ground and threatened to rape you?"
"N-no, not exact..."
"You poor thing!"
Rima jumped into my arms and gave me a big hug.
"We can get someone to beat him up if you want to." One boy says pounding his fist into his other hand.
"No one messes with our Angel and gets away with it." Another boy announces.
"It's really alright, you don't have to do that. I feel a bit better after talking about it."
I sigh a sigh of relief. I guess talking really helped after all.
Suddenly Kakeru wraps his arm around my shoulder.
"Poor Angel, after all that you really should relax and have a good time tonight. Here, have some of this. It'll cheer you up."
Kakeru hands me a paper bag with a bottle inside.
"Oh no, I don't drink."
"Aww, even that asshole Kou-kun drinks from time to time." Kakeru says with his lips in a pout.
Kou drinks? That bastard told me he didn't do that stuff!
"Well, if Kou does I guess I can too."
A/N I hope you guys all liked the first chapter! I'm sorry if Futuba seems a bit OOC but I have to tweak her a bit so that this all works but I'm doing my best to keep her as in character as possible. Let me know if I stray too far! Also, this is my first time ever using an OC! Well, kinda OC. He only had a few lines in the manga and now I'm making him a main character. If you want reference to as who Kakeru is check chapter 10 page 29 of the manga. Anyways, I'll be updating this once a week but if you review I'll update faster!