Disclaimer- I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or Love Hina.

Author's Note: For those of you who are wondering, no I haven't forgotten about A Royal Pain?, I'll back to it soon I promise I just have to wait for some more funny to develop in my head.

The Philosophy Behind Lies

Episode 1: Introductions

"Alchemy's First Law, the law of equivalent exchange. The Philosopher's Stone, a tool used to void the notion of equivalent exchange." "Hello, my name is Seui Urashima and I humbly invite you to join me on a quest into a world of mystery and intrigue. I also invite you on a journey toward the truth. What truth you may ask? Well to put it simply a journey toward the truth of my ancestor Keitaro Urashima, the Unfortunate "Immortal" Alchemist. Presumed to be a clumsy dolt as well as a mad man, I seek to uncover the truth behind his infamous quest in order to obtain a relic known as the Philosopher's Stone, and to renounce the lies surrounding both his companions and himself." "Well enough of my pointless babbling, shall we begin?"

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Tresembol, 1965

"Great, just great," a young man mumbled to himself as he ran along a slick cobblestone street. It was raining incredibly hard, in fact the down pour was so powerful that several signs had been knocked over by the force of the rain and the violent winds. While most people were inside their homes keeping dry, this unfortunate young man was currently running through the empty streets trying to find shelter.

The young man was currently donning soaking a forest green cloth cloak, tan khaki pants, a black short sleeveless leather jacket, slightly dingy white dress shirt, and black leather military grade boots. His messy light brown hair was matted down on his head and partially covered his boyish face and extremely large glasses. "I can't believe that they kicked me out of the house," Keitaro griped to himself as he pulled his cloak over his head in a desperate attempt to keep at least part of himself dry. 'Granted it did take me three years to become a State Alchemist, but that really isn't my fault!' Keitaro thought as he ran past several old western style houses, 'Come to think of it though, they were rather proud of me until I said I was going to search for the Philosopher's Stone. Could that have been it? But that doesn't make any sense unless they were sticking to the state guidelines…'

By know Keitaro had run past a dimly lit café on a nameless corner and was now head up a flight of stairs toward an old western style mansion. "Finally! I'm almost there!" Keitaro stated to himself as a sense of euphoria washed over him, 'I can feel the water of that nice hot bath right now!' Unfortunately things wouldn't be that easy for the young, as he soon found out when he tripped on one of the slick stone steps and tumbled down the stairs.

"Owww, damn law of equal exchange," Keitaro muttered to himself as he clutched his head in agony while he slowly picked himself up out of the mud he was now covered in. "Now I definitely need a bath," Keitaro said to himself as he made his way back up the stairs, but this time at a slower pace. After almost ten minutes Keitaro finally made his way up the steps, all the while gasping and wheezing as he used his hands to push his limp body up the last step.

"That was ridiculous, grandma definitely needs to get some type of elevator or something installed," Keitaro muttered to himself as he crawled toward the old mansion. Despite the fact that it was over two centuries old the mansion still looked rather elegant, the white paint on the columns was still fresh, the grand oak doors were still varnished nicely, and sterling silver knobs on the doors looked freshly cleaned and polished. 'I wonder if this place still serves as a government building as well as a hotel,' Keitaro thought to himself as he pulled himself up off of the ground and wrapped his left hand tightly around the silver door knob before he turned it with an audible 'click'. He then forced the large door open and walked into an elegant entrance hall. Looking around he noted all of the things that were still intact from his childhood ranging from the unnaturally bright lights of the sparkling crystal chandelier that hung above him, to the neatly waxed marble floor beneath his feet. Allowing himself to plop down onto a red silk love seat ruining it by smearing mud on it while he took a moment to strip off his soaking cloak and to wring it out over a gold urn. After wringing out his cloak he sat for a moment contemplating his next move before he got up and went toward the spiral stair case.

"Hey grandma you there!" Keitaro cried from the base of the steps, "It's your grandson Keitaro!" After a minute of cupping his ear and listening for a response Keitaro shrugged and walked up the stairs. 'I guess she couldn't hear me from all the way down here,' Keitaro thought to himself as he ascended the steps a walked toward his grandmother's old room. It still had the old oak wood manager sign plastered above it so Keitaro naturally assumed that she was still living in the room. He rapped on the door several times before he calmly waited for a response. After about three minutes Keitaro tried once again, deciding that she might have just been asleep and was having a hard time getting up. Again he waited three minutes before he decided to turn the knob and open the door.

The door creaked nosily, almost enough to wake the dead, as Keitaro forced it open with a cringe evident on his face. After completely opening the door Keitaro looked around the room and noticed that it was completely empty aside from a small double size bed with a navy blue bed spread, a red mandarin rug, and a large oak chest of drawers. "What the!? Did she leave and have me come all the way out here for nothing!" Keitaro cried out as a frantically searched through the endlessly empty chest of drawers. "Great, just great," Keitaro said to himself as he slumped his shoulders dejectedly, "Things can't get much worse than this I suppose." Keitaro then sniffed himself and scrunched up his nose in disgust at the offensive odor. "I guess I'll get cleaned up before I try searching around some more. I'm sure the other guest won't mind if I use the facilities and wash my cloths."

15 Minutes Later

"Brrr," Keitaro shivered as he walked into a cold bathroom stark naked, save for a small towel, and stepped onto the even colder pure white tiles. Walking over toward a large bowl tub Keitaro turned both of the sterling silver hot and cold knobs about halfway and waited for the tub to fill with water. Keitaro always had to admit that this bathroom was really nice. Not only was there a gigantic tub, but a custom designed porcelain toilet, an extravagant silver sink, and plenty of light from the small chandelier above.

'I wonder what made grandma want to move west anyway,' Keitaro thought as he ran his finger softly along the water's surface with a dreamy expression on his face, 'It probably had something to do with that day…' As Keitaro spaced out he failed to notice that the bathroom door was slowly creaking open. After another couple of seconds Keitaro shut off the water and slowly climbed into the tub and allowed himself ease into the water as he rested his head on the back of the tub. "Ahhh," Keitaro sighed softly to himself as he allowed both the dirt and his worries to be washed away. After a moment Keitaro removed his glasses and set them on the side of the tub as he grabbed his wash cloth, a bar of soap, and proceeded to wash himself. While all of this was going on a young woman with an angelic face and long auburn hair stuck her head in through a small opening in the door.

"Hey Kitsune, sorry to barge in but would you mind if I joined you? I mean that tub has got to be big enough for two people at the vary least," the auburn haired beauty stated as she stripped out of her blue long sleeve shirt, and black khaki pants revealing her voluptuous form.

"Wha?" Keitaro questioned as he looked up from washing his hair. It was then that he finally noticed that he wasn't alone in the bathroom as the young woman sauntered over to the tub and eased in on the other side. At this point Keitaro felt as though he might have a heart attack at any minute as his eyes went as wide as saucers and a small trace amount of blood trickled down out of his left nostril.

"Man this water feels good! Usually you have it way too hot, but right now it's just right," the girl stated as she ran a hand through her hair and allowed herself to relax even more as she rubbed her leg against the unfortunate Keitaro's.

At this point Keitaro had to shove his rag up his nose in order to keep the blood from spurting out. 'I'm soooo dead,' Keitaro thought to himself to afraid to actually get up and move, 'But I have to admit I've never been this close to a girl before, well aside from her…but that doesn't count.'

"Why are you so being quite?" the young woman questioned as she opened her eyes and regarded the figure sitting in front of her.

'Okay it's official, this girl is blind,' Keitaro thought to himself as he mumbled some incomprehensible nonsense.

"What? Okay Kitsune I'm going to tell you right now that I'm sooo not in the mood for one of your "I'm going to dupe Naru Narusegawa" pranks," Naru stated as leaned forward and got in Keitaro's face with a scowl on hers. Being this close with and attractive woman's lips only mere centimeters away from his own lips made Keitaro a little more excited then he should have been in a situation such as this, unfortunately it was Little Kei that was calling the shots right now as he made his presence known to both parties present.

"What the?" Naru questioned as she furrowed her brows noticing that she felt a poking sensation against her abdomen, "Hey cut it out Kitsune, your hands a little to close for comfort." By now Naru had grabbed onto Kitsune's "hand" and was clutching it tightly. "Wait a minute, this isn't a hand…and you're not Kitsune!" Naru cried as her eyes went wide and she hopped out of the tub at a blinding speed, "You pervert! You just tried to take advantage of me!" Naru cried out again as she growled and balled up her fist.

"Just wait a minute," Keitaro responded as calmly as his quivering form would allow, "You were the one who hopped into the tub with me!" This seemed to stop the girl in her tracks as a blush crept onto her face, but she only stopped momentarily.

"Well what the heck is a man doing in an all girls dormitory!?" Naru retorted as she balled up her fist once again and launched herself at Keitaro.

'Oh crap,' Keitaro thought as his eyes went wide and her fist made contact with his jaw sending him crashing through several walls.

"Well what do we have here?" a young woman with short sandy blond hair asked as she lend over to inspect the fallen Keitaro's limp body, swirls evident in his eyes. Her eyes were extremely slanted, her face soft and slightly rounded, and her equally extremely voluptuous body was almost pooping out of her purple lace underwear set. "Well they say Christmas only comes once a year, but it seems to have come twice," Kitsune stated as she licked her lips seductively as she leaned further down onto Keitaro's body, mashing her chest onto his.

"Hey Kitsune! Have you seen a pervert around here!?" Naru snapped as she flung open the door to Kitsune's room, clad only in a tiny towel, and gazed at the raunchy scene before her. Slapping her hand onto her face and dragging it down she sucked in a deep breath and released a beleaguered sight. "Kitsune, must you try to seduce even the unconscious?" Naru stated as she stalked over toward her friend who had not moved from her position, but was grinning from ear to ear.

"Why not? I mean he is kinda cute, but I guess I'll back off if you want him. I mean it looks like you got to him before I did," Kitsune stated with a chuckle as she saw Naru's face grow a vibrant red after her comment.

"Shut up!" Naru snapped, "Just get out of my way so I can deliver some justice!"

"Now calm down Naru, I mean the man is already unconscious and it looks like you ruffed him up pretty bad," Kitsune stated as she noted the deep scars that adorned Keitaro's small but toned chest.

"Hey I didn't give him those!" Naru snapped once again in her defense as she pointed her index finger vehemently at the chuckling Kitsune.

"Is something wrong Naru-sempai?" a young woman with raven hair asked as she stepped into the room behind Naru with a concerned expression etched into her features. The young woman was dressed in a slightly worn white gi and red hamaka pants. Her long black hair was tied back into a lose ponytail, and her bangs hung over her deep grey eyes which framed her slender angelic face perfectly. In her hand she held a brilliant sliver katana and a stainless ivory sheath. Both looked to have been forged by the deceased Murasameitichi, a world renowned eastern blacksmith.

After a moment the raven haired beauty noticed both Kitsune and Keitaro sprawled out on the floor. The girl's face contorted into a look of rage and hate as she glared daggers into the unconscious Keitaro. Breathing heavily she snapped, "Unhand her right now you vile scum!" as she drew her sword back and shouted, "Rock Splitting Sword Technique!" Suddenly a large wave of ki knocked Kitsune into an adjacent wall and Keitaro back through the wall he had just come through not too long ago.

Landing in the bathroom once again Keitaro laid there not moving an inch as another young woman made her way into the bathroom.

"Yay! It's bath time, it's bath time, bath and banana time!" the girl sang merrily as she hopped over Keitaro's unconscious form and landed in front of the tub while munching on a banana. The young woman who had just completely ignored the unconscious Keitaro had long platinum blond hair, and smooth brown skin. Her eyes were a vibrant jade green, and her face had a look of innocence about it. Turning the knobs and allowing the water to run, she leaned against the bath tub and continued much on her banana before a look of realization dawned on her. Looking down at Keitaro's limp form she put her index finger to her lips and looked thoughtful for a moment before she grinned and shouted, "I forgot my toys!" With that said she once again leapt over Keitaro and ran back out of the bathroom, completely oblivious to his presence.

"Ugh," Keitaro moaned as he finally awoke and clutched his head and chin stroking both gently. "I feel like I just got shot out of a cannon and into a lamp post," Keitaro griped as he tried to correct himself. 'What a crazy dream,' he thought as noticed that he had some how gotten out of the tub.

'Weird,' Keitaro thought as he climbed into the tub once again and began to wash off some more dirt from his body. Just then the foreign looking young woman bounced into the bathroom once again, this time with a varying assortment of gadgets and gizmos. "What the?" Keitaro started as his eyes went wide with panic noticing that the girl had finally noticed him.

"Hey! You want to take a bath with me? Well okies, but now you gotta let me play with you," the young woman stated as she jumped into the tub and splashed water everywhere. Before Keitaro could even raise his voice in protest one of the young woman's devices bang to glow a neon blue and suddenly and electric current surged through the water.

"RAGH!" Keitaro shouted as he was jettisoned out of the tub and through the roof. After a moment he crashed straight back down and went through the tub. 'Today has not been my day,' Keitaro thought to himself, 'And when the heck did this become an all girls dormitory!?' However Keitaro's mental musings were cut short as he landed in the grand hall with a thud in front of an older woman wearing a chefs apron, and a blue military uniform with silver trim. Her hair was dark brown and short, her face slender and her eyes were a deep brown similar to Keitaros'.

"Hey there nephew, when did you get in?" the woman questioned as she helped a chard and slightly singed Keitaro to his feet and covered him with her apron.

After a moment of looking catatonic Keitaro finally snapped himself out of it as he shook his head violently and gazed at his aunt with tears in his eyes. "Aunt Haruka!" Keitaro shouted as he leapt to hug the older woman only to be smashed a top his head by her paper fan.

"Don't call me aunt," Haruka reprimanded as she put her fan up and gazed down at Keitaro's crumpled form. "So, why are you here?" Haruka questioned as she sat down on the love seat, avoiding the mud.

"Didn't grandma call me to come here?" Keitaro asked as he slowly got up, once again clutching his head in pain.

"She did huh?" Haruka stated in a deadpan tone of voice although her facial expression was much different.

"Yeah, she said she had something to tell me," Keitaro stated as he took a seat on a red silk sofa adjacent from Haruka. "So I guess you don't know why she called me, huh?" Keitaro asked, his expression slightly crestfallen.

"HEY THERE'S THE PERVERT!" a familiar voice shouted as a group of four femme fatales charged down the stair case and descended on the quivering Keitaro. Naru had changed out of her towel into a yellow turtle neck sweater, red khaki skirt, black knee high socks, and brown leather shoes. Kitsune was currently donning a light blue turtle neck sweater, and tan khaki pants.

"Hey girls, well it seems you've already met my nephew," Haruka stated as she fished a cigarette out of the front breast pocket of her uniform and put it to her lips.

"NEPHEW!" both Naru, Kitsune, and the rave haired young woman cried out in unison. Meanwhile the foreign looking young woman had preoccupied herself with yet another banana, and was merrily munching away completely oblivious to the scene unfolding.

"Yep, Urashima Keitaro. My nephew and Hina's grandson," Haruka stated as she pulled out a sterling silver lighter with a cross engraved on it. She clicked the lighter a few times before a dull flame erupted from the spout, she then gingerly lit her cigarette and snapped the lighter shut before putting it back in her pant pocket. Taking a nice long drag before breathing out a thick cloud of smoke from her nostrils Haruka once again began her interrogation. "So what have you been up to these days?" Haruka asked as she ran a hand over her uniform trying to rub out some of the wrinkles.

"Nothing much I guess, but do you think I could answer your questions after I put my cloths back on? They should be finished washing by now," Keitaro stated as he gazed at his aunt with pleading eyes.

"Alright, fine. Hey Motoko go get his glasses, I'm sure there still in the bathroom on what's left of the tub," Haruka demanded as she turned her head toward the direction of the raven haired young woman.

"Yes ma'am," Motoko stated with what seemed to be a forced bow due to the fact that she looked so ridged.

"Alright, I'll show you down to the laundry room. Come with me," Haruka stated as she helped her nephew to his feet and passed by a stunned Kitsune and Naru, who simply watched them go by.

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After Keitaro was properly clothed and his glasses returned he and his aunt took similar positions and began their talk with the girls present.

"Well let's see," Keitaro started as he cupped his chin and a thoughtful looked etched it's way onto his face, "I guess the most important thing would be the fact that I finally passed the exam and became a State Alchemist." Upon hearing this the whole room erupted into a frenzy of questions and indignant cries.

"No way! You're an alchemist!? A pervert like you!?" Naru stated with a look of shock and disbelief plastered on her face. "I won't believe it!" Naru cried out indignantly as she glared at Keitaro and folded her arms over her chest haughtily.

"Wow! And with Hina-san as your grandmother you must be plenty rich!" Kitsune stated as she licked her lips in contemplation and grinned from ear to ear. 'I think I just hit the jackpot!' Kitsune thought to herself as she continued to eye Keitaro like he was a slab of meat.

"How can one who is so dishonorable become a State Alchemist?" Motoko mumbled to herself as she stared at Keitaro in disbelief, her mouth hanging slightly agape.

"What's an Alchemist?" the young foreign girl started as she put her index finger to her mouth again, "Does it taste good?"

"Well you see the thing is," Keitaro started sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head gingerly.

"Dinner's ready everyone!" the voice of a young woman exclaimed causing everyone to stare in the direction of the kitchen which was down the corridor to the left.

"Well Keitaro looks like you'll have to finish your explanations later, soups on," Haruka stated as she scooped the young foreign girl onto her shoulders, "Well come on Su, lets get you fed before you start eating the upholstery again."

With that everyone followed behind toward the dining room, some feeling guilty, others either angry or confused, and some even plotting away deviously.

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"Keitaro I would like to introduce you to the Tresembol Manor's youngest tenant Mahera Shinobu. Shinobu this is my nephew Keitaro," Haruka stated in deadpan tone of voice as she eased into her seat and lit another cigarette.

"Hello Urashima-sempai, you wouldn't mind if I called you sempai would you?" a young woman wearing an apron greeted as a small blush found its way upon her cheeks. Shinobu was currently wearing a read blazer, red plaid skirt, a red vest, a fresh white dress-shirt, and knee high white socks. She had an extremely innocent and cute face which was enhanced by her large navy blue orbs and acrylic blue hair.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Shinobu, and of course not I would be honored! Did you cook all of this food?" Keitaro questioned as he looked at the spread laid out in front of him, "It all looks so good!" It was true, there were at least three different kinds of roast bird ranging from chicken to duck to quail. There was also an assortment of various vegetables ranging from corn on the cob, to mashed potatoes, squash, and even baked pumpkin. Not to mention the various fine wines, and rums strewn about the table.

Shinobu simply nodded in response as she blushed even more and took her seat at the table.

"Well it looks like our little Shinobu has a little crush," Kitsune jabbed causing Shinobu to blush an even darker shade of crimson.

"What are you talking about Kitsune?" Shinobu questioned sheepishly as she looked down at her plate trying to avoid looking directly into the older woman's eyes.

"Hey it's not like I could blame you, I mean he is pretty cute and he's also a State Alchemist," Kitsune stated as she grabbed a bottle of rum off of the table and poured herself a glass. "While sake is all well and good, you can't beat a good bottle of rum," Kitsune said aloud to herself as she downed the contents within her glass in one gulp.

"A State Alchemist?" Shinobu questioned in disbelief as she stared at Keitaro who was consuming his meal with gusto. 'Wow, he must be really strong and he'd probably make a good husband,' Shinobu thought as she blushed a deep crimson and immediately began mentally chastising herself, 'Wait what am I thinking!? I'm way too young for him, he must be at least 19, but then again I am 13 so there really isn't that big an age gap is there? Auuuu, I need to stop thinking like this.' However she felt she should ask him at least a few questions, after all she did want to get to know him a bit better.

"Um, Urashima-sempai if you don't mind could I ask you a few questions?" Shinobu inquired shyly as she blushed slightly when Keitaro looked up from his plate was a sincere smile on his face.

"Sure Shinobu, ask away!" Keitaro exclaimed as he set down his fork and gave Shinobu his undivided attention.

"Well my first question is how old are you?" Shinobu stated as all the eyes at the table, aside from Su's, fell on her causing her to feel exceedingly nervous.

"Well I just turned twenty a few months ago," Keitaro stated as he continued to smile at Shinobu causing the young girl's heart to flutter with excitement.

"Oh, okay," Shinobu stated as she looked down at her plate again, "Well, um, is it true that you're a State Alchemist?"

"Kinda," Keitaro stated with a nervous chuckle as he fished a silver pocket watch out of his breast pocket. The watch was embroidered with a extravagant lion emblem which symbolized the status of State Alchemist. "I mean technically they never revoked my license so I guess I could be considered a State Alchemist," Keitaro said as he tucked the watch back into his breast pocket.

"What do you mean kinda!" Naru squawked indignantly, "Either you are or you aren't!" Everyone at the table, including Haruka, had to agree. I didn't make any sense for someone to "kinda" be a State Alchemist.

"Well it's complicated," Keitaro started as he looked down at his plate, "The thing is this…they told me if I gave up my foolish quest they would be honored for me to be their State Alchemist once again. Unfortunately I refused to give up my search, because I made a promise years ago…a promise to my sister."

"I still don't understand," Haruka stated with a look of puzzlement on her face as she took a drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke out of her nose once again, "What does Kanako have to do with all of this?"

"The Philosopher's Stone," was all Keitaro said still looking at his plate as he heard a glass shatter on the floor.

"Are you out of your mind!" Haruka snapped as she jumped over the table and grabbed the young man by his collar and lifted him up out of his chair. "Is that why your parents kicked you out of the house!? Are you so dense!?" Haruka hollered, her arms shaking violently as tears formed in the corner of her eyes, "Do you even know what it is you seek to find!? Can you even understand the endless amount of sacrifices it will take for you to gain that kind of power!?"

"No I don't, and I thought you said you didn't know why I came here," Keitaro stated in a deadpan tone of voice as he looked down at his aunt. There was no hint of fear or terror in his eyes, only emptiness.

Haruka felt herself grow stupefied for a moment as she simply stared at him with her mouth agape. However she quickly regained her composure and glared daggers into Keitaro. "No listen here nephew, I love you but I'll be damned if I allow you to go through with this crazy plan of yours," Haruka stated through clenched teeth. "How the hell did you even find out about the Stone?" Haruka questioned as she started sit the young man back down into his seat.

"Grandma told me about it," Keitaro said as he grabbed a bottle of champagne and poured himself a glass.

"She wah?" Haruka questioned as her mouth hung agape and she simply stared at him as he sipped his champagne.

"Tell me something Au…Haruka-san," Keitaro stated as he set down his glass, "What is it about this stone that makes it so forbidden?" To his statement Haruka could only stare at him as her face went pale and a sudden chill passed through her body. How could she explain to him what she had seen that day? How could she tell him when she was forbidden to? The answer was an easy one…she could do nothing to save this poor young man's soul. The Stone had already ensnared his soul and there was nothing she could do but watch him find the truth for himself, that is if he even got that lucky.

"I'm sorry nephew, but that' is restricted information, top secret," Haruka stated in a deadpan tone of voice as she raised a shaking hand to her mouth along with her cigarette. Putting what was left to her lips she took a nice long drag before she sighed and added, "This is a fools quest that you're on nephew, I suggest you head back home to your parents and forget that you ever heard about such an artifact."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't," Keitaro started as he got up from the table, "I made two promises, and until I keep this one I cannot keep the other." With that said he started to walk toward the door but stopped briefly and added, "Don't worry, as soon as I find out what grandma called me here for I'll be gone. You don't have to worry about what other people will think." With that said Keitaro exited the dining room leaving behind some very confused and upset young women.

After a moment Haruka slammed her fist on the table causing the silver ware and plates to jump about an inch in the air. "That idiot!" she snapped as she began to shake furiously.

"Haruka-san I'm sorry, I didn't know," Shinobu started nervously but Haruka put a hand up to silence the distraught young woman.

"It wasn't your fault Shinobu, don't worry about it," Haruka stated as she looked up towards the door. "That fool is going to be digging his own grave, he just doesn't know it yet," Haruka muttered to herself as she walked through the dining room doors and down the corridor. A few seconds later a loud slam could be heard signaling that Haruka had left the building and was more than likely heading back down toward the café.

"Well that certainly was unexpected," Kitsune stated as she sipped at another glass of rum.

"I'll say," Naru stated in agreement as she recovered from the shock of the scene that had just played out before her eyes.

The Next Day

"Knock" "Knock". Keitaro awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door in the grand hall. "Sorry but I'm too tired to get up and get that," Keitaro stated as he rolled over in his bed and went back to sleep. A few minutes later he heard a gentle knocking on his door and decided he might as well get up at this point. After slipping on a pair of pants he slid out of bed and headed toward the door. Upon opening it he came face to face with a madly blushing Shinobu.

"Sorry to disturb you Urashima-sempai but this letter seemed really urgent," Shinobu stated as she reached from behind her back and showed Keitaro a letter with large "URGENT" stamp on the front of the envelope.

'Wow,' Keitaro thought to himself, 'That's some crazy insight she has.' Keitaro thanked Shinobu and bowed politely before he told her that he would like to get a little more sleep before he decided on his next course of action. As soon as he heard foot steps disappear down the hall Keitaro ripped open the letter and began to read it frantically.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Dear grandson,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I hear you've been excommunicated from your position of State Alchemist by the state of Oishi. That is most unfortunate, but I'm sure it had something to do with you wishing to search for the Philosopher's Stone. Well in that regard I have something very important to tell you. An old friend of mine has told me that the new Tresembol governor, Rupert Michelle, has come into some type of amazing power. It's said that he even has the power by which to bring resurrect the dead. I'm not sure if you should investigate due to the fact that it might be a bunch of nonsense, however I figured it might be of some use to you. Anyway, sorry for my absence but I decided to go on vacation for awhile, you know what I mean. I'm sure the girls gave you a nice welcome anyway, and if not I doubt that you'll be staying long anyway once you investigate this if you in fact chose to do so. Well that about sums it up, I love you and good speed grandson.

Love,

Granny Hinata

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Thanks grandma, and I'm definitely going to check this out," Keitaro said to himself as he folded the letter and tucked it into his left pant pocket. "Well better grab a bite and head out," Keitaro stated as he did a few stretches and finished putting on the outfit he had worn yesterday.

"Well at least now I've got a lead," Keitaro said to himself as he headed down the hall. Unfortunately due to his mental musings Keitaro didn't notice the banana peel lying on the floor as he accidentally stepped on it and slid down the hall. "Whoa!" Keitaro cried out as he closed his eyes and cringed. Suddenly he smacked into something or someone knocking them both down onto the ground, and upon opeinging his eyes he came face to face with the girl know as Motoko. Fortunately for him it appeared that she was unconscious. In fact this was really good due to the fact that he found himself in a compromising position, that is to say that his hands had somehow found their way directly onto Motoko's two soft mounds.

'Man that was close,' Keitaro thought as he breathed a sigh of relief and removed his hands from the forbidden zone. Unfortunately he had already been seen, and by the worse possible person.

"PERVERT!" was the loud battle cry that rang through the Tresembol Manor followed by a loud smack and the sound of walls being destroyed.

2 Hours Later at the Breakfast Table

"So what you mean to say is that the ex-State Alchemist tried to rape me?" Motoko questioned as she glared at Keitaro. Her sword was currently unsheathed and she looked poised to attack at a moments notice.

"Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying," Naru stated with a smug smile evident on her lips, "Don't worry though, I got him so he shouldn't be acting up for awhile."

"Whatever," Keitaro mumbled to himself as he nursed his sore chin and finished his breakfast. "Tell you what, you're never going to have to worry about me again by tomorrow morning, okay?" Keitaro stated as he finished his glass of orange juice and got up from that table.

"Why is that Urashima-sempai?" Shinobu questioned, tears evident in her eyes, "Is it that you don't like, or is it the food, or is it…"

"No, no, of course not Shinobu. You're great, it's just that once I check out this lead I'll have to get going again. Trust me, it's nothing personal I just have to go," Keitaro stated trying to placate the distraught young woman. It seemed to work due to the fact that Shinobu stopped tearing up and she simply nodded in response.

"Well what kinda lead are ya' goin' off of?" Kitsune questioned as she took a sip out of her glass of sake.

"That's a secret," Keitaro stated as he pushed his glasses back onto his face and headed out the door.

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"So this is the new capital, huh?" Keitaro questioned as he looked up toward a structure that looked strangely reminiscent of Notre Dame. "What happened to separation of church and state?" Keitaro questioned as he shuffled into the capital building and noticed that it was full of overly religious overtones. In fact it looked more like a church than any kind of political building.

"Well one might say that a state is only as powerful as its devotion to God," the voice of an older man stated from behind Keitaro. Turning around Keitaro came face to face with a man who looked to be around his mid-forties. He was a muscular man with large broad features and incredible mass. It almost looked as though he was lifting weights at every possible second of free time he had. Combined with the fact that it looked like he was poured into his navy blue pen stripe suit, white vest, and navy blue dress shirt, he cut a rather imposing figure. In fact his face looked like it was almost as muscular as his body and his low brow ridges and long black hair made him look almost like a Neanderthal.

"Right, so are you a priest or a governor, because I'm only here to see the governor if you don't mind sir," Keitaro stated with respect evident in his voice.

"Ah, I see you don't waste any time beating around the bush or with small talk," Rupert stated as he walked around Keitaro and up toward the statue of some saint that Keitaro couldn't quite name. "Well what is it you came here for my boy, you must know that I'm a very busy man," the mayor stated as he lit a candle, crouched onto his knees, and prayed silently at the alter.

"I've come here to inquire about your Philosopher's Stone," Keitaro stated with a hint of hesitation in his voice, "That is if you don't mind sir." Keitaro waited a moment as the man continued to pray in silence.

After a moment the man broke the stiffening silence by saying, "God works in mysterious ways, does he not?"

"I wouldn't know," Keitaro stated with a shrug, "God and I haven't talked for awhile so I really wouldn't know."

"Ah, so you are a non-believer are you?" the man questioned as he slowly rose from off of his knees.

"I wouldn't say that I was a non-believer per-say, it's just that I want more proof then some scriptures written by man. If anything obtaining the Stone will be enough proof for me, but until then I really don't know what I believe," Keitaro stated with a shrug once again.

"Why are the scriptures not enough for you my brother?" Rupert asked as he turned to face Keitaro was a looked of confusion evident on his face.

"Because man is imperfect, man lies, and man misinterprets things and views the world by his own selfish desires. In fact listen to me right now, everything is about man, you notice that women are always excluded, but without women men would be nothing. You know only a hand full of men a truly necessary to continue our species, but without several women we would be nothing. Like I said even if religion was influenced by God it was not he himself who wrote it so how can we be sure that we have the truth?" Keitaro questioned as he walked down the isle towards the alter. "No, I refuse to believe that the word of man is the word of a god. That does not mean however that god does not exist, but as far as his relationship to me…well that might not exist," Keitaro added as he stood about nine meters away from Rupert.

"You are quite well spoken my boy. I'm rather surprised, you are not at all like the dolt I heard you were," Rupert stated with a chuckle, "And yes Mr. Urashima, your reputation does precede you.

"Well I wouldn't say all of that, but thanks for the compliments" Keitaro stated sheepishly as he scratched the nape of his neck nervously, "I mean I did fail the exam three times in a row, so I hope I would have gotten at least a little more intelligent my last time around."

"Well I must say that I agree, so what is it you came here for? Oh yes that stone," Rupert stated. "Well if you wish to see it then follow me for I shall prove to you the existence of God," with that said Rupert turned and walked toward a stone spiral staircase. Keitaro followed suit and soon both men were headed down stairs toward the basement of the building.

"We're almost there," Rupert stated with a smile evident in his voice.

"Right," Keitaro stated with a nodded as the spiral stair case ended and they walked into a room lit by candle light from various angles. Keitaro couldn't determine if it was the light from candles that was blue or the water from the labyrinth that they were currently in. Looking around Keitaro noted that they were entirely surrounded by lakes worth of water as they sat in the middle of some large estranged pathway that led to an alter in the center of the lake. Keitaro also took note of the several large stone pillars that seemed to be holding up the structure above them.

"So what do you think my brother? What do you think of my hovering capital? A work of God, wouldn't you say?" Rupert asked as they drew closer to the smaller temple within the temple.

"I'm sorry sir, but I would have to go with man on this one," Keitaro stated with a shrug once again.

"I suppose you're right," Rupert stated with a smile as he turned to face Keitaro, the blue light shining off of his face.

After a few more minutes of walking they finally reached the alter and atop it sat a glowing blood red stone.

"Well what do you think my boy?" Rupert asked as he gazed proudly at the stone that sat atop the alter. The stone contrasted sharply with the blue marble that surrounded it on either side, but this only stood to make it look even more beautiful.

"So that's it?" Keitaro questioned with a look of awe on his face before his lips curled into a smile. "Do you mind if I use it just this once?" Keitaro asked as he looked toward Rupert who simply smiled and nodded. 'Looks like I'll be able to keep my promise after all Kanako,' Keitaro thought to himself as he approached the alter. "Finally, I can keep my promises," Keitaro stated as he reached out for the stone. Suddenly he heard a clicking sound from behind him and a loud clank. Whipping around he saw Rupert standing on the other side of metal gate with a wicked smile on his face.

"What are you doing!?" Keitaro snapped as he glared at Rupert who started to laugh manically.

"My boy, do you honestly think that I would allow the power of God to fall into the hands of a fool like you?" Rupert questioned, all the while with a sinister smile plastered on his misshapen face. Reaching in his pocket Rupert retrieved and object that looked strangely enough like the stone that was supposed to be sitting atop the alter.

"Wha?" Keitaro questioned as he stared on in disbelief.

"Have fun with the fake my boy, maybe if you're lucky you'll be able to knock out one of my chimeras with it!" Rupert stated as he began to laugh manically again and walked off leaving Keitaro to his fate.

"Why that rotten," Keitaro started but stopped as soon as he heard the low breathing of a beast that he never wanted to face again, let alone multiples of them. Whipping around Keitaro came face to face with three chimeras that looked ready to tear him apart, limb from limb.

"Things just keep getting better and better," Keitaro stated sourly as he clapped his hand together and they began glowing a vibrant neon green. "Sorry, but I can't die here. Not that you should have to either, but if you come at me I'll have no choice but to defeat you," Keitaro stated as a spear appeared to be coming out the center of his hands. As he continued to part his hands the spear began to take its full shape, and by the end Keitaro held and spear that looked almost identical to that of Kan-U Unchio dragon embroidery and all.

"RAWR!" the beast cried out uniformly as they charged Keitaro ready to tear him apart. Keitaro nimbly avoid the first two by ducking underneath them, unfortunately the last one was onto his ploy and dove directly at him tackling him to the ground. Rearing back its head it prepared to deliver the final blow by ripping Keitaro's head from his shoulders. Unfortunately the only thing it got a bite of was the shaft of Keitaro's spear as he forced the beast off of him by fusing his chi with the spear and using the energy to force the beast off. Once he had thrown the beast off of him Keitaro swiftly moved in a drove the spear through the beast heart. "Sorry, but this is what you chose," Keitaro stated as the staff began to glow a neon green and the beast crumbled into dust. Now left with two beasts to fend off, Keitaro waited for them to strike out before he would counter.

The one on the left was the first to leap out at Keitaro he simply side stepped. Unfortunately the second one took this time to attack and ended up swiping Keitaro across his chest leaving five large red scars running down his chest. "Damn," Keitaro hissed as he back flipped over the next swipe and landed awkwardly on his feet and hands. 'I've got to end this now,' Keitaro thought to himself as he brought his spear up into a defensive stance. As he did so both chimeras decided to attack simultaneously, unfortunately for them Keitaro was ready. His hands began glowing a neon green once again and he threw his spear at this aggressors only to have it shatter into a thousand tiny needles that tore through the beast vital points causing them to drop dead in mid air and land on the ground with an audible thud.

"Wow, now even I'm tired," Keitaro admitted as things started to fade in and out of focus. The last thing he heard before he passed out was the sound of the gate opening.

To Be Continued

Next Episode: Showdown with Rupert

Author's Note: Okay like I said, for those of you who are still reading A Royal Pain? I will be updating sooner rather than later, but right now I've got to get some more ideas for the next chapter. As far as this story is concerned however, well this is going to be a long one kiddies and I mean really long so long I might have to take some breaks in between it's going to be so long. But that's beside the point, what is the point is this: For those of you saying that some of the characters are too OOC well guess what….who cares, if you've read this far I assume that you enjoyed it instead of simply saying, well this is crossover crap and then telling me it sux (and if it does please tell me, your reviews will probably be hilarious and I don't have a problem laughing at myself). Of course I will try to keep everyone relatively in character, but I also want to be loose at points for plot development. Okay, AS AWLAYS PLEAE REVIEW AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS FIRST CHAPTER!