Disclaimer; Do you have to rub it in! I DON'T own them OK? Happy? Go play with your Barbies. Oh and I don't own them either – thank god.
Author's Note; Ummm, this came from nowhere! Hahaa. As always, Enjoy! I shoulder point out I don't get it any more than you will. XD Totally random.
-The Marauders; Welcome To Our Lives-
-Chapter One-
-ALL Of The Pockets?-
There was something unusual about the two students stumbling through the corridors of Hogwarts at 3am. The fact that it was 3am was not in the least bit extraordinary for them as they were Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, and as far as they were concerned: rules did not apply to them.
Sirius being blind drunk wasn't unusual, Remus – having found him flat on his face – helping Sirius wasn't unusual either as he had been looking for him. No, where they were wasn't unusual and their actions were not unusual either. Most things in the castle were not unusual. Sadly this didn't stretch as far as their conversation, which was most certainly not very normal.
"The one with all the pockets?" Sirius slurred in awe, his blue-grey eyes wide as he blinked up at his friend.
"Yes Sirius, the one with all the pockets." Remus replied wearily, pulling Sirius' arm around his shoulders as he continued trying to haul the boy back up to the dormitory without attracting attention. Unfortunately as aforementioned Sirius was absolutely legless and therefore was not been particularly quiet. In fact he was being very very noisy, noisier than usual which was quite an achievement in Remus' opinion.
"Wow." Sirius murmured, lapsing into an amazed silence.
Sadly, and much to Remus' annoyance, the silence did not last very long.
"Yeah but, I mean like, ALL the pockets!" Sirius repeated in wonderment, his mouth hanging open slightly as he continued to gaze somewhat expectantly at Remus.
"Yes Sirius. The ones with ALL the pockets."
"ALL of them?" Sirius asked, now slightly suspicious.
"All of them." Remus confirmed with one sharp nod.
Sirius shook his head, finally taking his eyes off his friend. After a few moments of nothing he looked back up. "I don't believe it." He stated clearly, which was quite surprising considering the amount of FireWhiskey he had consumed.
"You don't?" Remus questioned, not really caring about getting an answer.
"I don't."
"You don't?"
"No."
"You really, really don't?"
"No."
"Good." Remus said shortly, hoping her was making it perfectly evident that the conversation was to go no further.
Sirius had fallen quiet again.
"Seriously now Remus, does it really have ALL the pockets?" he asked three minutes later, as though they had never stopped talking.
Remus ground his teeth impatiently. "Yes Sirius, ALL of the pockets."
"That's incredible. It's amazing. It's brilliant. It's astronomical." Sirius muttered, his voice becoming slurred once more.
"Is it really?" Remus asked in mock disbelief.
"What you don't think so?"
"I do Sirius. I really do think that the fact that it's the one with ALL the pockets is astronomical."
Sirius nodded happily, stumbling slightly. "Good."
Almost falling over as Sirius unexpectedly fell into him, Remus staggered to one side before regaining his balance, deciding the conversation did not need to be examined any more thoroughly than it had been already.
Sirius however decided the subject needed to be explained more clearly. "Yes Remus," He began, a strange air of importance hanging about his words. "But it doesn't just have the pockets, it has ALL the pockets." He announced proudly.
Remus by now was rapidly losing the will to live and was fighting the abnormally strong urge to bang his head against the wall repeatedly. Beside him his intoxicated friend was babbling mindlessly to himself.
"All of them, every single one of them. Completely amazing. Every single last little one on it. Because it's the one with all of the pockets. Every last one."
Remus was now not only fighting the urge to slam his head against the wall, but the urge to kill Sirius. At the moment in time throttling him seemed quite appropriate.
"Remus?"
"What?" he replied irritably in a voice of forced calm.
"You know what?"
"Yes Sirius, I think I do know what."
"What then?"
"It's not only the one with pockets, IT'S THE ONE WITH ALL THE DAMNED BLOODY POCKETS!"
Now when Remus starts swearing then you know he is beyond furious and well on the way to homicidal. Normally people notice this and leave him alone, but Sirius was lucky to know who he was and could hardly be expected to not only remember this detail about his fellow marauder but notice it too.
Sirius fell with a bump to the floor as Remus stopped supporting him and stopped to glare angrily down at him.
Sirius just gaped incredulously back up at Remus for a moment; and after a few incoherent muttering he finally managed to utter two very stupid words. "You're psychic."
Luckily for Sirius it was at that moment James hurtled around the corner and literally skidded to a halt. James' custom, even unique smile was firmly in place on his lips. Although this was not a sweet little smile a small child might smile, this was a James look, and therefore had the 'I'm a maniac' effect.
"Ah!" he exclaimed, gasping for breath. "You found him."
"Unfortunately." Remus said through gritted teeth.
"Come on then, before we get caught." James panted, pulling Sirius arm around his shoulders as Remus did the same and began to drag him down the corridor.
"James?" Sirius asked innocently. Remus groaned loudly.
"Yes Mr. Padfoot?"
After Sirius' giggles had subsided he blew a piece of hair from his face and took a deep breath. "Guess what?"
"What?"
Another groan from Remus.
"SSSHHH! Remus don't tell him!"
"Tell me what?"
"It's…"
"Yes…"
"The one…"
"…"
"With all the…"
James looked expectantly at Sirius who it seemed had paused to give his next words a more dramatic affect.
"The pockets!" he completed cheerfully, grinning gleefully about.
James blinked in disbelief at his best friend for a minute before turning to Remus. "What the hell is he on about?" he questioned quite reasonably under the circumstances although Sirius let out a yell of "DUH!" as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Remus sighed, shaking his head slightly. "I haven't got a bloody clue."
Author's Note; Wow. I wrote (excluding disclaimers and A/Ns) exactly 999 words on a conversation about something I don't know about! Hahaa, not sure what I had in mind when I came up with this, I was at a sleepover. Weird, anyway, hope you um...liked it?
