~All Your Difference~
[Disclaimer: Etcetera and CATS is © RUG. Lyrics to He's My Son are © Mark Schultz. Mika is © me.]
She stared down at the kitten who was curled up in a pile of blankets, sleeping peacefully. He was so beautiful, perfect, amazing.. and all she had left of the life she'd lived before. Each night, she would sing to Mika, rock him to sleep. Her kitten, the littlest kitten... forever.
Etcetera lay in the abandoned warehouse, muffled sobs occasionally piercing the darkness of night. She felt so used, so broken, so dirty. Moaning as she turned onto her side, knees pulled to her chest, clinging to herself, Etcy knew that her innocence had been stolen, and replaced with a tiny being, growing inside of her. What was she supposed to do with kittens when she was barely out of kittenhood herself?
"Etcetera, I'm sorry." The words pierced Cety's heart. "W- why, mum? He's beautiful, he's healthy... isn't he?" Her voice wavered, and her eyes were filled with an immense fear and sadness that words could not describe. Jellylorum bowed her head and took her daughter's paw in hers. "Etcetera, he.. he's not like other kittens." the older queen tried to explain. "What does it mean, mum? I don't understand.." Trembling slightly, the tabby cast a glance at her son. He looked like his father had in the dark: black and brown, but he had a mask over his eyes... like a raccoon. "My poor Etta," the words broke Jelly's heart, because she knew how much they would hurt her daughter. "Your kitten, he'll always stay a kitten in his head, in his heart. He'll never grow up like the other kittens his age. The humans call it autism.. mental retardation." Etcy's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, mum.." she whimpered, reaching out to cling to her mother. "I'm sorry," Lorum managed to whisper back. "What will they say about him, mum? They'll make fun of him, won't they? They won't understand, no one will want him around, will they?" Etta couldn't push away the thoughts of the last Jellicle Ball out of her head, when all the Cats had shunned Grizabella because she was different. This kitten of hers, he was so much more different than Griz had been. If they had been so cruel to her, what in Heaviside would they do to him?
Mika. The name meant "wise little raccoon." It had seemed the perfect name when Etcetera had first seen her son's patterns. Now, she wasn't sure if it was right. Wise? How could an autistic kitten be wise? Etcy didn't understand. She glanced at her kitten and sighed sadly. There was a part of her that had wanted a kitten simply to have someone to love her unconditionally, someone who would never leave her. She'd known that her kitten would someday grow up and start a life of his own, and couldn't accept it. But here, what was this? It was as if Mika had been a gift from the stars, from the Everlasting Cat. He was a kitten who could never leave his mother. He would always need her by his side. It was exactly what Cety had wished for.. so why did it hurt so badly? As she clutched her only kitten to her chest, kissing his tiny brow, warm tears rolled down her face. A million questions ran through through her mind. Who was Mika if not an adult tom in the making? Why had the Heaviside punished her like this? What had she done that was so terrible, to make her son this way? Why had they hurt HIM? "You got here and you adored me.. You trusted me with all your little body; with all your difference. But why? After I've done this to you, after I made you this way.. You still love me?" the queen whispered to Mika. The kitten simply turned his head and nuzzled his mother.
[Disclaimer: Etcetera and CATS is © RUG. Lyrics to He's My Son are © Mark Schultz. Mika is © me.]
She stared down at the kitten who was curled up in a pile of blankets, sleeping peacefully. He was so beautiful, perfect, amazing.. and all she had left of the life she'd lived before. Each night, she would sing to Mika, rock him to sleep. Her kitten, the littlest kitten... forever.
Etcetera lay in the abandoned warehouse, muffled sobs occasionally piercing the darkness of night. She felt so used, so broken, so dirty. Moaning as she turned onto her side, knees pulled to her chest, clinging to herself, Etcy knew that her innocence had been stolen, and replaced with a tiny being, growing inside of her. What was she supposed to do with kittens when she was barely out of kittenhood herself?
"Etcetera, I'm sorry." The words pierced Cety's heart. "W- why, mum? He's beautiful, he's healthy... isn't he?" Her voice wavered, and her eyes were filled with an immense fear and sadness that words could not describe. Jellylorum bowed her head and took her daughter's paw in hers. "Etcetera, he.. he's not like other kittens." the older queen tried to explain. "What does it mean, mum? I don't understand.." Trembling slightly, the tabby cast a glance at her son. He looked like his father had in the dark: black and brown, but he had a mask over his eyes... like a raccoon. "My poor Etta," the words broke Jelly's heart, because she knew how much they would hurt her daughter. "Your kitten, he'll always stay a kitten in his head, in his heart. He'll never grow up like the other kittens his age. The humans call it autism.. mental retardation." Etcy's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, mum.." she whimpered, reaching out to cling to her mother. "I'm sorry," Lorum managed to whisper back. "What will they say about him, mum? They'll make fun of him, won't they? They won't understand, no one will want him around, will they?" Etta couldn't push away the thoughts of the last Jellicle Ball out of her head, when all the Cats had shunned Grizabella because she was different. This kitten of hers, he was so much more different than Griz had been. If they had been so cruel to her, what in Heaviside would they do to him?
Mika. The name meant "wise little raccoon." It had seemed the perfect name when Etcetera had first seen her son's patterns. Now, she wasn't sure if it was right. Wise? How could an autistic kitten be wise? Etcy didn't understand. She glanced at her kitten and sighed sadly. There was a part of her that had wanted a kitten simply to have someone to love her unconditionally, someone who would never leave her. She'd known that her kitten would someday grow up and start a life of his own, and couldn't accept it. But here, what was this? It was as if Mika had been a gift from the stars, from the Everlasting Cat. He was a kitten who could never leave his mother. He would always need her by his side. It was exactly what Cety had wished for.. so why did it hurt so badly? As she clutched her only kitten to her chest, kissing his tiny brow, warm tears rolled down her face. A million questions ran through through her mind. Who was Mika if not an adult tom in the making? Why had the Heaviside punished her like this? What had she done that was so terrible, to make her son this way? Why had they hurt HIM? "You got here and you adored me.. You trusted me with all your little body; with all your difference. But why? After I've done this to you, after I made you this way.. You still love me?" the queen whispered to Mika. The kitten simply turned his head and nuzzled his mother.