A girl's diary

7th grade:
He's my best friend. And I always hang out with him. But lately I've been getting these strange feelings for him that I don't understand at all. Though I've told one of my friends and she says that I'm in love with him but I deny it….. I wonder if that was the right thing to do. I wonder was she was right and was I was wrong to deny it? These are some of the things that I could never ask anybody about……. And I don't even know why I couldn't ask anybody about it…...

8th grade:
I still have these strange feelings for him and I don't even know why. I even tried to ask another one of my friends. She also said that she thinks that I'm in love with him and that I should trust her on this because she's had this feeling before……. But I just denied it like last time…….. I wondered…… was what I said right or was it wrong? Was it true that I loved him or not? I wonder……. Was I right to say that to her? That's what I've wondered but I don't know why….

9th grade:
I still have these strange feelings for him. And I've finally figured out what they are. These feelings are feelings of…… love. I now know that I was wrong to deny those feelings of mine…… but now I wonder……. Should I tell him or not? Will he feel the same way…..? Or reject me? If I tell him will he accept my love or will he not…….. If he doesn't feel the same way will we not be best friends…… ever again? These are more things that I wondered about and I was afraid of the out comes so I didn't tell him…..

10th grade:
I still have these feelings for him. This feeling of love….. Then I decided that I should tell him…… but when I was about to…… he told me that he loved Another girl…… and that broke my heart….. And then he asked me if he should tell her that he loved her……. And while I was holding my tears back……. I said….. Yes….. Because I didn't want him to know….. That I liked him and I didn't want him to feel the same way I do now. Then he said thanks and said that he will tell her and then hugged me….. And it became hard not to tell him….. But still….. I didn't tell him……

11th grade:
For some reason I still have these feelings for him. Even though he silently rejected me a year ago……. Then he told me something that made me sort of relieved……. He told me that he broke up with his girlfriend…… and I tried to comfort him by hugging him and telling him that it's alright……. And everything's gonna be alright…… and all he did was thank me but except this time he kissed me on the cheek….. But I knew that he didn't feel the same way I did because…….. He said that I'm a good Friend to him……. So I held back my feelings again…..

12th grade 1st semester:
He still didn't get a girlfriend which made me happy….. So…… I decided to tell him…… so I asked him if he could come over to my house after school and he said…… yes…… so when he came over I told him….. I love you……and he had a shocked look on his face….. Then he smiled…. And said….. I love you too…… then we kissed….. And I was so happy….. And wanted time to stop right there…..

12th grade 2cd semester:
Things went great ever since we started dating but…… I went to the doctor a few days ago….. And I was diagnosed with cancer….. And they said that I had it for a long time but no one noticed and that I didn't have long to live…. So I decided that I was gonna break up with him…… so that he wouldn't feel as much pain when I did die…. So I did…… and he kept asking me why I was breaking up with him but I just kept looking away from him and then I…. ran off crying……

Three days later:

He still wondered why they broke up and then he found out because his friend told him that she was in the hospital diagnosed with cancer for the last 2 days and died an hour ago….. When he heard that he ran off to the hospital and asked where her room was….. Than when he ran to her hospital room ….. He opened the door and saw her……. Lying in her bed while she was…… dead. He then walked up to her bed in tears and held her hand then he said," this is why you broke up with me…… you should've told me…. That way I could've made the rest of the time you had great……." Then he saw her diary beside her on a table and read to see how she spent her last days…… when he finished he was more sad that he didn't realize it…… that she loved him the whole time but he also felt the same way as her and was also afraid. He tried to move on so he wouldn't need to hurt her but he hurt her anyway. She also wrote that she didn't want him to feel sad…… that she was going to die…..
He then sat there crying by her bed until he ran out of tears to shed. Then he said," I've loved you too." he then looked at her face and saw a tear that came from her and a smile on her face.