Precautions

Missing scenes from Counterpoint

Captain Janeway held court in the ship's conference room. The ship's senior officers were all present and accounted for.

"Precautions, people. We need to put precautions in place. The lives of 12 Brenari, not to mention our freedom is at stake if we can't trust Kashyk." Janeway's statement was met with silence. A movement caught her eye. Harry was trying to signal Tom.

"Suggestion?"

The normally flippant confidence her pilot Tom Paris usually exuded was suspiciously missing. In fact color reddened his cheeks.

"Spill it. We have only a few days to get the Refugees safely through Devore space. Tom? Harry? If you've got something, we need to hear it." She shifted her gaze between her two officers.

"Well, um, ma'am, um, Tom and I, um…" If possible, Harry had turned even redder than Tom. And him "ma'aming" her was never a good sign.

The captain steepled her hands and waited.

Clearing his throat, Tom picked up the conversational ball. "Ma'am, I…we had noticed how Kashyk… seems to…fancy you a bit. And we… thought that might be his plan. You know, to play you."

"'Play' me?"

"It's an old Earth expression where a man…would…attempt… to get what he wanted from a woman by…seducing her." The last was said is a rush.

This briefing had taking an unexpected turn. Now she was as uncomfortable as her ensign and lieutenant seemed to be. A quick scan of the table, showed heads down and suddenly everyone's PADDs were the most interesting things in the Delta Quadrant.

Janeway cleared her throat. "And you and Harry both seem to think that is what Kashyk might be doing? Trying to… seduce me? To what end?" When had she lost control of her ship? If so much wasn't riding on this, she would have laughed. But another quick survey of the room: heads still down, so everyone must tend to agree.

Everyone but one.

Chakotay wasn't looking down at the table or looking like he wished he could be anywhere but here, no. His gaze was directed out the window. His tan jaw clenched tight the only indication that anger not embarrassment was running rampant through him.

"The most obvious answer, Captain, given that he already knew about the Brenari his larger goal is to ascertain the location of the worm whole." Tuvoc joined in what had to be the most disconcerting briefing ever known to a captain.

"It stands to reason," B'Elanna spoke. "You had mentioned that he talked about you needing a friend and he did seem to be flirting with you even before his defection. Maybe he became familiar with our ships records he might assume, falsely of course, that you may be lonely… and would welcome—"

Janeway raised her hand to stop this awkward discussion. "Even if this is true, how is any of this helpful to our situation?"

Harry leaned forward and rested his elbows on the conference table. "Because you could play him. Turn it around and be the one who took advantage. Make him think he's got the upper hand. Then bam." He slapped his hands together causing Seven to jump.

"Yeah, maybe you could flirt or—" Tom started off, warming to his topic.

Holding up her hand again, Janeway cut him off. "I think I've got the picture. I'll take it under advisement. But for now, Seven, continue working with Harry and the doctor to see if there is any way to halt the cellular degradation. B'Elanna, you and Tom see if we can use any of the new tech to outfit the shuttle. We may have need of them. Tuvoc, keep close tabs on our guest. Dismissed."

The senior staff trooped out. All but one.

Janeway blew out a breath and faced her first officer. "You were unusually quiet."

After a long pause, Chakotay shifted in his seat and rested his arms on the table. "I wasn't sure I could be very…objective with this plan."

Nor could she.

This wasn't some hair brained scheme of Q's. Or a simple tactical maneuver. Her staff seemed to think seduction was their best chance to get through part of space. And maybe it was.

Normally, she and Chakotay tiptoed, ignored or generally down played just how close they had become on New Earth or how different things might have played out if they had remained off of Voyager. Even those few times since New Earth that they have leaned on each other, were never examined or talked about. The role they played in each other's lives was… complicated.

Kathryn clung to those memories often in the darkness and loneness of her cabin. And when they had been stuck in that forsaken Void, she'd wept for the missed opportunity at love when her guilt over so many things played and replayed through her mind and drug her under the tidal wave of depression. At times like those, guilt about stranding her crew so far from home mixed with the guilt about how she stranded Chakotay in this half-life ate away at her.

His feelings for her, she believed, just as hers for him, had not waned only intensified and morphed into a strange complicated mess holding them both in some sort of stasis between the true happiness they could share and the misery of a separation.

If she was fair, she'd cut ties once and for all with her first officer. Tell him the easy lies: that she didn't love him with all of her soul; that he wasn't her strength and her help meet. Maybe if she did that, he'd be able to move on and find happiness.

One of them should be happy.

But she couldn't bring herself to let him go. She needed him too much.

"Leave it to Tom to state the obvious. I mean I must appear pretty pathetic if Kashyk thinks he can flirt a little and throw a bone to a desperate woman and I'd betray my ship. I think I'm a bit insulted." She wanted to lighten the mood. This conversation could get so heavy so quickly and she wasn't prepared to bring up the uncertainty of their relationship.

Chakotay's face remained grim. "Or maybe he just has an over estimated view of his charms."

Kathryn sighted. "We need to discuss this. Will you be all right with Tom's plan? I want to know how you feel—"

"No. You don't." He pushed the chair back and rose from the table. His back ramrod straight, arms across his chest, he gazed out at the stars as the ship made its way through space.

Hesitantly, Kathryn stood and walked over to him, then placed a hand on his shoulder. A small touch. It was a small thing she did, but it kept her anchored to him, to life, even when she wanted to run and hide and scream to everyone that she wasn't going to be able to get them all home. That this was all her fault.

If she was his peace, like he'd claimed, then Chakotay certainly was her strength.

Normally he'd let her have this small taste of human contact. A one way expression, so she was startled when he his hand covered her smaller one. His squeeze reassured her more than any words could. She relied on him and Kathryn wasn't sure she could carry out this ruse without Chakotay's support.

He faced her. The calmness that she'd come to expect from him was in place now. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, which one of them was wearing a mask now?

"I'm not overly fond of Tom's plan…"

Kathryn's shoulders slumped.

"But we don't have much of a choice, do we? And to answer your earlier question, I'll handle…everything." His hands clasped her upper arms. "Will you?"

Every fiber in her body reacted to his touch. Usually their contact was one sided. She initiated and he, well… he let her. Little pats, caresses, but this was too close to an embrace. Her heart sped. Willpower held her feet in place when she'd rather step into his strong arms and be swallowed in his warmth and earthy scent.

Swallowing the lump of emotions that needed to get sorted through another time, she nodded.

He cupped her cheek and closed the distance between their bodies. "I'll be here for you."

Kathryn smiled. He always was.