Their relationship had never been typical. From childhood camp sweethearts who had found one another again when he needed a good and safe place to raise his daughter and she needed help raising her son. They quickly became friends- best friends- that relied on each other for everything. Eventually, much to their surprise they fell in love even though they both denied and hid it for years. Then that moment though when they stopped pretending and embraced their new relationship. It wasn't easy though. They had their ups and downs like every other couple but they knew their love was strong enough to survive anything. What happened that day would put their love to the test.
The whole family had been invited to Brooklyn for a neighborhood block party. Sam and Jonathan and their families had already gone on ahead. Mona had driven Angela's jag with her latest boyfriend. Tony and Angela were still back at the house all ready to go. Well, he was. She was still getting ready trying on outfit after outfit after- well you get the idea. He was getting anxious and a little impatient. He loved her. Heavens knew he loved the woman with all his heart but sometimes she drove him crazy. He chuckled to himself. Yeah, she drove him crazy but he'd be lost without her. He told himself to calm down that she would be ready when she was ready. Finally she was ready and even though he had told himself to have patience he all but rushed her out the door to his jeep. She wasn't angry though. She knew how excited he could get. That was one of the things she loved about him. His boyish enthusiasm was endearing to her.
He looked over at her. She was beautiful. Her hair was a little bit shorter but framed her face accenting her strong yet delicate features. She was wearing a sundress- the colors a swirling pattern of blues, greens, and yellows. She looked fresh and lovely like the first day of Spring. He told her so and she smiled in response and leaned over and kissed his cheek. He felt his heart jump. One little kiss on his cheek and his heart behaved like a jackrabbit. He remembered another time he had felt like that. When he had written his Ode To Angela poem she had kissed him on the cheek. They had just been in friendship zone then- well that's what they had convinced themselves. But, he had felt his heart jumped and it had been jumping ever since.
They had been driving for about twenty minutes talking about their family- their kids, grandkids, and the biggest kid of all- Mona. They laughed. They shook their heads. But, mostly they said a silent thanks that they all had each other.
He didn't see the other driver until it was too late. He didn't know where he came from. One moment he had been talking to her and the next moment all he heard was her screaming. Someone called an ambulance. He had no idea who. A passerby he assumed. He was fine- a few cuts and bruises but Angela- his Angela had lost consciousness. He rode in the ambulance with her holding her hand while the paramedics worked on her. They arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. He was relieved to see their friends Paul and Isabelle both on duty. They would take care of her. She was in good hands. They told him he had to stay in the waiting room. They might as well had told him to wait in Siberia. But, he knew he would just be in the way. So he stayed and called the family to tell them what had happened. They all drove back and arrived at the hospital about an hour later. They paced. They hugged. They wiped tears from their eyes. What would they do without her? What would Mona do without her daughter? The kids without their Mom? The grandkids without their Grandma? Tony without his beloved wife? None of them wanted to think about it- they couldn't it was to devastating.
Paul and Isabelle came out and told them she was stable at the moment but would be going into surgery soon. They promised to keep them informed on her progress and told them they could go a few at a time to see her before she was wheeled into surgery. They all went in telling her they loved her and begging her to pull through. He stayed the longest kissing her cheeks and lips hoping she would open her eyes to tell him everything would be okay. She never did. One of the nurses came over and removed her wedding ring and necklace and gave them to Tony. He clutched them in his hands like a lifeline vowing to put them back on her when she was all better. He watched as the surgical team led by Paul and Isabelle took her into the operating room.
For hours they worked on her while her family waited impatiently. The grandkids were sent home with their other Grandparents after hugs and kisses were exchanged. The remaining family members waited on word on her condition and were finally awarded when Paul came out to talk to them.
"How is she?" Tony asked nervously clutching on to Sam's hand. Jonathan had his arm around Mona. The four of them looked at Paul anxiously. What would he say? That she was okay and could go home as soon as tomorrow? That she would have to stay for awhile while her body healed? That she was much worse than everyone had thought?
"She came out of surgery. But, it was touch and go. We almost lost her once." At those words Mona gasped and pressed her hand to her mouth. Tony rubbed the tears from his eyes and motioned for Paul to continue.
"There were a lot of internal injuries. One of her kidneys had to be removed and her ribs were crushed. But, the thing that concerns us the most is her head injury. She still hasn't woken up and until she does she remains in critical condition."
"Can I see her?" Tony asked.
Paul nodded and motioned for him to come. Tony hugged everyone before he followed Paul into the recovery room.
"She's all bandaged up so don't be shocked." he told him gently. Tony nodded and went over and sat down beside her. Her hair had partly shaved off. He didn't care about that. Yes, she had beautiful hair, but hair grows back. All that mattered was that she opened her eyes.
For the next week family and friends visited and bought flowers and gifts. Mrs Rossini and Fran took over the household duties making sure everybody was being fed. Angela still hadn't awakened but everybody kept positive thoughts. She was strong and had a lot of people pulling for her. Of course she would come back to them.
Tony was lying on the small sofa in her room. Periodically he took short naps. Just long enough to keep himself fresh. It was during one of those naps when he felt one hand on his shoulder and another on his face gently caressing it. He would know those hands anywhere. ANGELA! She was awake! He opened his eyes and looked up. She was smiling down at him. She was positively glowing.
"Angela! You're awake." he said excitedly jumping up and putting his arms around her. But, wait if she was awake how could she be well enough to be out of bed already? Something odd was going on. He pulled back and looked at her. There weren't any brusies, cuts, or bandages. Once again he noticed how glowing she looked. But she also looked sad. She was smiling but her eyes were sad.
"Angela? What's going on?" he was so confused. He was happy she was awake but why did she look like an Angel?
"I have to say good-bye Tony. It's time for me to go." she stroked his cheek while tears fell down hers. "I love you. I'll always love you." she leaned in and softly kissed him. She then turned and started walking away.
He watched in despair as she kept on walking. Say something! Stop her! he berated himself.
"Angela! Wait! Please don't go!"
She turned and his heart sank at the look in her eyes. They were filled with tears.
"Tony, I'm sorry. But, I have to go."
"No, please Angela. Please don't leave me." he begged. He took her hands in his and gently kissed each finger. He then took her face in his hands and softly kissed her.
"Tony." she said softly when the kiss ended. "I can't stay here. I'm sorry. But, I have to go."
"I'll go with you." he pleaded.
"You can't. They need you here."
"I need you!" he cried. "I can't go on if you're not here."
"Yes, you can. You'll be fine." she assured him
"Angela..."
"It will be okay You'll be okay."
"Why are you leaving me? How can you leave me?"
"I don't want to. But, I have no choice."
"Yes, you do! Just stay here. Or let me come with you!"
"You can't Tony. You need to be here and I need to be there."
"Angela, I love you." tears fell from his eyes.
"I love you too." she said softly tears running down her cheeks as well. "I'll always love you."
Gently she detached herself from Tony's embrace and turned and walked away.
"Angela! Angela!"
The low beep of the monitor woke Tony from his dream. He looked up and saw the doctors and nurses rallying around Angela. After a few minutes of activity the time of death was called.
"I'm sorry Tony. " Isabelle said gently.
Tony didn't respond. He sat down by Angela's bedside and put his head on her chest. There was no breath. No movement. His eyes filled with tears.
"You'll be fine." He heard her voice.
"No, I won't. I'll never be fine again." he whispered. He raised his head and gently brushed her hair away from her face. He leaned down and gently kissed her on her lips his tears falling from his cheeks onto hers.
"I love you."
One Year Later:
"I'm so sorry sweetheart!"
She didn't answer him. He knew she wouldn't . Ever since it had happened all he had gotten from her was silence. The silence haunted him, reminding him of the horrible mistake he had made. If only he could go back and change things...
But he knew that was impossible. In his head he knew it was impossible. But in his heart he wanted to keep on believing that he-that they could go back to before it had happened and everything would be fine. But things would never be fine again. He had tried to accept it but he couldn't.
He still carried the guilt around. He knew he always would. Everyone else told him that there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. But he knew that there was something he could have done then. Ever since it had happened he had thought back to that day and he knew what he should have and could have done differently. If only... If only...
He sat down by Angela and cried begging her over and over to forgive him but there was still that silence. He hated that silence. He wanted her to talk to him. But nothing he said, nothing he did would get her to break her silence.
"Dad! Dad!"
Sam came upon Tony who was still crying She put her arms around him and waited until his tears had subsided.
"Dad you need to stop blaming yourself for this."
"How can I Sam?!"
"It wasn't your fault. It was that other driver's. That stupid drunk..."
"But it was my fault! I shouldn't have rushed Angela that day. If we had only been on that road five minutes later..."
And there the guilt ate away at him once again. They had been invited to Brooklyn for a neighborhood block party. Tony was so excited about going that he had kept badgering Angela to get going, to get a move on. Finally she was ready and he all but rushed her out the door so he could see his buddies from the old neighborhood. If only they had waited just five minutes just five more minutes Angela would still be with them and he wouldn't be haunted by all this silence.
"Dad, you know Angela would not want you blaming yourself. She loved you Dad. She loved you with all her heart. It would break her heart if she knew that you were blaming yourself."
"I just can't stand this silence Sam."
"I know Dad."
They both fell quiet for a moment standing in front of Angela's grave. The pink roses that Tony had brought were the only bright spot. He had brought her pink roses to her gravesite every day since it had happened over a year ago. He knew that he always would.
"Actually, Dad the reason I'm here is to tell you that Jonathan called. Emma is in labor."
The news was bittersweet. Here in just a short while their new granddaughter would be born. But her Grandma Angela would never get to hold her. How fair was that?!
They both said their goodbyes to Angela and told her that they loved her. With his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her arm around his waist Father and daughter walked out of the each got into their cars and drove to the hospital. Hours later the newest addition to their family Angela Elizabeth Bower was born named after her Grandmothers.
They each took turns holding her. When it was finally Tony's turn he gazed down at his granddaughter's face and was amazed how much she looked like her Grandmother. Baby Angela smiled up at him and grasped his finger in her tiny hand.
"She has Angela's smile." he said silently.
Everyone grew quiet then thinking about Angela. But this time the silence didn't seem to bother him. He felt at peace holding their granddaughter. In his heart he just knew that she was there holding her with him.