Title: Swimming Rituals
Author: myria-chan
Rating: T, for shameless teeth-rotting fluff not suitable for children
Prompt: Day One | Locker Room
Summary: Spoilers for Episode 6 | In which Nitori lost his first swim race at breaststroke, Rin's amazed at Samezuka's lack of tact when it comes to shipping, and Nagisa is an angel-cupid crossbreed.
Author's notes: Major, major spoilers for Episode 6 of Eternal Summer. You have been warned. This is the first part of my contribution for Rintori Week 2014. Apologies for the delay! Enjoy!
It was unnerving how the final whistle was blown, signaling the end of the breast stroke event, that every single one of his teammates were staring in his direction and not even bothering to hide it. On their faces was a similar expression: the knowing smile, a slight tip of the head angled to the corridor leading to the stadium locker rooms, eyes of unquestionable support.
Rin growled in disbelief and heard Seijuurou's boisterous laughter to his left.
He turned, frowning. "You are encouraging this."
"Do you need encouragement, Matsuoka?" Seijuurou asked; Rin, once again, being reminded that their beloved former captain was the epitome of trope instigators, probably with bets running around here and there for what would transpire in the locker room.
"You can bring Mikoshiba and Uozumi to the changing rooms," Sousuke suggested, "if you're shy and all." The entire team's combined snickers were enough to send a few more glances to their direction. Rin's frown lines deepen, could not believe his best friend was jumping to the bandwagon of teeming, scheming sharks, and send a look of absolute disgust in reply to each and every single one of them.
He was to bring Uozumi and Momotarou to the locker rooms because that was good captains do. The same with offering them words of wisdom along the way, prepping them with pep talk, and boosting them to voice out their concerns to jar the nerves out of the system. If they happen to meet Nagisa, he'd congratulate his friend too like a good sportsman for winning the entire event. Of course, he had to console the members that didn't qualify for their chosen event, but that was part of the job description.
They should all stop making such a big deal about it.
"You are all swimming twenty laps when the competition season is over," Rin ordered, to which the response was a solemn "Yes captain!" accompanied with silly grins and devious smiles.
As they travel the hallways, Rin did advise the two swimmers on the competition proper. There really wasn't much to do with the start of the backstroke program moments away, but every athlete needed the support he could get. Uozumi appeared to be the pillar of composure but inside he was a living haywire of bundled nerves. Momo was just as bad, but his nervousness came in bursts and flares that Rin had to grapple him every now and then to make sure he didn't hurt himself with his outbursts.
Around the corner, they meet a familiar blonde, bouncing out of the locker rooms from his congratulatory.
Nagisa paused and looked, before perking up to his usual outlandish demeanor, "Rin-rin!" tackling Rin without any further warning, dragging the air out of his lungs in the process.
Rin staggered in a back step, the grimace he wore was from his loss of footing than for anything, which he dissolved to a soft smile directed at the clingy culprit. "Congratulations on the win, squirt." Rin returned the hug with equal enthusiasm, lifting Nagisa off his feet and spun with him around, the sound of Nagisa's chuckle reverberating on the corridor. They spun to a stop and engaged to their secret handshake: high five on left hands first, then right, then twirl, then double fives up in the air, erupting to a fitful of giggles when they separate.
"Rin-senpai!" his two members chorused, positively affronted at the blatant display of affection, gasping in an attempt to be accusatory, hands covering their mouth to hide their reactions in the slightest.
Rin resisted the urge to roll his eyeballs. "Go get changed. I'll follow you both in a bit." The duo followed his instruction, but not before throwing hefty looks at Nagisa, to Nagisa's absolute confusion.
"What's the matter with your teammates?" Nagisa asked good-naturedly when said teammates where already out of earshot.
"Shippers," was Rin's reply, not bothering to expound because when it came to pointless, nonsensical matter, Nagisa was the expert.
Said expert nodded sagely. "Oh well. No use arguing with them. Good luck on your butterfly event. I'm pretty sure you'll snag first place, Rin-chan. Please don't give Rei-chan too much of a hard time."
"Thanks." Rin flashed him a jovial grin, though deemed it necessary to inform Nagisa, "I'm joining the 200m, though."
"Not 100m?" A blonde eyebrow rose.
"Nope," Rin explained. "I wanted to test my endurance; just to you know have a little variable thing in the resume other than speed. Tell that megane I wish him good luck."
"Rin-chan, you're the sweetest thing!" And Nagisa hugged him some more.
This time, Rin did roll his eyeballs. Everyone's reaction to the most mundane of his generosity was trifling and bothersome. They should all stop making such a big spectacle about it.
"Tell Ai-chan he did great for me," was Nagisa muffled request on Rin's shirt front, stealing Rin out of his daily musings and back to today's current events.
Frowning, Rin had to ask, "Why don't you just tell him yourself?"
"Well, I feel awkward telling people good job after they…" Nagisa left his sentence unfinished, eyes meandering on the patterns of Rin's jersey jacket.
"You…" Rin drew back, blinking, holding Nagisa at arm's length so he can properly assess the reaction. Who knew Nagisa could be so thoughtful? "Fine, fine, I get it. But just this once," Rin held his index up for further emphasis.
"Thanks, Rin-rin!" Nagisa beamed, and then threading his voice to a whisper, he added, "And just between the both of us, I think Ai-chan really needs you right now."
Without another word, Nagisa tapped his shoulder and sprint away, leaving Rin with a dumbfounded expression and a hollow at a pit of his stomach.
Panic welled inside of him, images of broken dreams from a land down under resurfaced, carrying crippling thoughts of trepidation, of lowered self-esteem and unworthiness and fruitless effort in a tidal wave from his belly to his heart.
He understood how it felt to give practically every ounce of strength you have, devout every time there was for one specific goal, to improve yourself and somehow manage to grasp even the slightest of validation, to prove that your efforts were worthwhile and your hard work paid off.
His failure to achieve that broke his confidence, undermined his talent, and drained his enthusiasm all together.
It wasn't sadness that he felt. Rin knew what sad felt like. He buried his father at a young age to understand as such. It wasn't loneliness either. He spent months and years alone in a foreign country to know what loneliness felt like.
It was more like empty, hollow, as if every single emotion was rid out his body and everything was bleak and meaningless, as if nothing in this world would be for the better and it was pointless to dream otherwise, because his dreams were nothing more than sordid fantasies, made from childhood illusions and fabricated realities of what his father was and how his father should had been if he wasn't born.
Nobody deserved to feel like that, ever, especially not Ai.
Aiichirou Nitori was an entity untouched by the remorse of his past. He was part of Rin's happy present, meddled his way through it with every conversation they share, and settled and belonged to the brightness of his future.
The worst thing that could happen to any competitive athlete was burnout, and Rin was not entirely sure if Aiichirou was strong enough to handle that level of anxiety.
His gait was matching the beat of his heart, walking in a brisk manner that sent other swimmers looking at his quick phase, like a man on a hunt, mission locked on. His target was holed up by his locker door, dressed to his summer jersey uniform, head bent, his signature duck-face towel obscuring Rin's view of his face, mutters of frustration singing in the air.
Rin hesitated, unsure on how to approach him. Every time, it was Ai who comfort him during his darkest moments; the very last wasn't the exact the standards for gratitude, a kicked trashcan would gladly volunteer to defend his case. Would Ai be as volatile? Is he going to scream? There was no object for kicking, but the locker doors seemed to be ideal punching bags…
Only one way to find out…
Rin took two steps forward, and swallowed the lump on his throat. "Ai…"
A flinch; Rin's heart flipped to where it lay beating, and Ai peered through the curtain of his fringes and draped towel, eyes glistening with moisture. "Rin-senpai…"
There was a lump in his throat, which he perpetually forced to swallow down. Truth was Rin wasn't entirely proficient in consolations either. What was he supposed to say to someone who trained and gave their all twice as much, if not more, without sounding crass or indifferent? As of the moment, good job seemed to be the harshest words.
He rubbed the back of his neck in hard, slow strokes, trying his very best not to look back into those watery eyes. He might start crying too if he did. "Nagisa said you needed me," he found himself saying, meaning to find reason for his ardent behavior, as lame and deliberate as it sounded.
"He did?" Ai's voice indicated surprise. Clammy hands reached for his unoccupied ones, inched him closer, until they were hairbreadths apart, and pointed at the messy disaster that was his belongings. "I can't seem to fit all of my things… back in my bag!"
Rin blinked. "Huh?"
Ai promptly let go of his hand and went back to the futile task of arranging his things back into his sports bag. At least that was what he was attempting to. The inanimate objects appeared to be in total repellence to his intentions, thrown in haphazard angles. "I don't understand what's happening. They could all fit in this morning. I just took out my swimming gear, some change of clothes and my towel, and when I try to put them back in, they…won't…fit… Arggh!" He practically screamed the moment his precious rubber ducky slid out of the bag and bounced to the flooring. Defeated, he sat back on the lounging area and glared to his baggage in particular. "That's it! I'll be charged with loitering—the embarrassment of it. You don't suppose the officials are going to charge the swim team because of this, don't you?"
Rin slowly, with careful deliberation, bent to pick up the rubber duck, stared at the forlorn figure at his right, to the tragedy that was Ai's luggage, then back to the rubber duck held in his hand; counted to ten to suppress the headache forming and took three deep breaths. And here he was under the impression of Aiichirou battling down tears and frustration from his recent loss. How he managed mule over this mundane matter was beyond Rin—beyond everything, to be honest.
"Allow me," he offered, dragging the entire bag out of the cabinet and setting it on the lounge, two legs on either side of the upholstery as he was bent to the task of arranging the disaster minefield. He fished out a digital timer and a poorly crumpled notebook from the mess, and eyed quizzically at Ai.
Ai grinned sheepishly. "They're for good luck, and to remind me how far I've gotten just to qualify for a tournament debut. The green notebook has all of my recorded times for the last couple of months. And I successfully drained all the battery of that timer. The rubber ducky is a gift from my parents, because their little duckling is all grown up and swimming in a big pool." The rubber toy gave a tiny squeak as it was squeezed. "I still lose though."
"Hey," Rin interrupts his thought process before it turned sour. "Don't go thinking you're incompetent or anything just because you lost the race for a stroke you've been mastering for a couple of months."
"Hazuki-san said that too."
"Nagisa?"
Ai nodded; his face solemn. "He called me a monster, though. I said he was being rude and he apologized for it. Does inability to react like a common person a shared trait with your Iwatobi Circle of Friends, Rin-senpai?"
Rin considered it for a moment, and shrugged. "Possibly," he said, clearly unsure himself. "Congrats placing in fourth, Ai. Nagisa extends his praises."
"Thanks, senpai. I wish you both didn't though. It's annoying hearing people congratulate you after losing a race," he said in all honesty.
"Yeah it is," Rin could but agree, "but someone has to annoy you for it. Think of it as a motivation, instead."
"Hazuki-san said that too," Ai reiterated, making Rin frown openly. "He said it's okay to be annoyed, to be disappointed. He said it's okay not to be okay."
"Is there anything Nagisa hasn't told you yet?" Rin felt deprived of his role as a counselor at this point. Wow. And Nagisa was in full confidence that Ai was in great need of Rin. Who knew Nagisa could also be wrong.
Ai chuckled at him. "You make it sound as if Hazuki-san tells me everything." And their conversation ended like that. Rin resumed the delicate job of arranging the used articles. He folded the damp swimming gear and used towels neatly, and placed them together with the swimming goggles inside swimming duck designed bin bag. Closing the zipper, Rin admired his nifty work. He still had it in him to arrange all of Ai's mess in place.
Ai thanked him profusely.
"Make sure to soak your gear in running water when we get back so it won't get damaged," Rin reminded him.
"Hazuki-san…" Ai wisely shut his mouth and didn't finish his sentence at Rin's glare. He didn't know what got his senpai into this foul mood but when Rin started to glare earnestly, one's best option was to divert the topic all together. Ai looked up to the ceiling in a sordid attempt to do just that. "Can I tell you one thing?"
"Sure."
"Promise you won't tell anyone." He laughed when Rin looked around as if assessing if one of the competitors was brave enough to pipe in their conversation. Lowering his voice to a whisper, Ai confessed, "I'm kinda glad I lost."
"Hey!" Rin said in a huff, disheartened by what he said.
"Please don't get me wrong," was his quick comeback. God knew what long sermon his senpai had in plan for his little confession. Best to rectify immediately, he continued, "At least now I have a clear idea where I stand. At the end of practice sessions, whenever I want to stay behind for an hour more or just a few more laps before retiring, there's always someone from the team who'd tell me I've already did a good job, that there's no point in overexerting myself, there's still tomorrow for that… I don't know. You feel kinda guilty that I can't accommodate their request. At the same time I'm disappointed with myself because I really feel like I needed those extra minutes on the pool, and I can't stand up for myself. I sneak in at night though, pass curfew hours, to practice." Ai avoided his gaze all-together, unsure how Rin would react over his little truancy.
Rin avoided his gaze too, because he knew about the after hour practice sessions and he was unsure how Ai would react if he knew that Rin knew about his little truancy, and chose to hide it. He cleared his throat. "So…"
"So now I don't have to sneak out anymore. When I stay behind, people would give out the support the way I wanted to," Ai confided. "There're those benefits to losing, after all, so it's not really that bad."
"You…" Rin reached out and ruffled his head, smelling pleasantly of lavender. "You say that now but you'll cry when you're all alone in your room, won't you?"
"Yes, I will," Aiichirou sounded apologetic in admission, "But right now, what I'm really looking forward is bettering my best. The competition next year is going to be an exciting one. I hope Hazuki-san eats all my bubbles next year."
Ai finished his sentence the same demeanor he finished his race—cheerful, straight forward, with a brightened disposition for the future he wished to craft out of hard work and pure determination. That very moment filled Rin with much esteem and admiration for the boy who gave so much and asked for very little in return.
Rin raised his chin with his forefinger, and with all the honesty and sincerity he could muster, he said, "You are amazing."
Because more than consolidation or comfort, more than a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen for him, Ai needed the truth—and his truth came in three simple words.
As if it were possible, Ai's smile radiated ten-fold, dimpled his cheeks, and crinkled at the corners of his eyes until the teardrop mole on the right diminished into a tiny speck, mouth parted in awe. "Really?" he asked disbelievingly, breathlessly; Rin thought he was hyperventilating for a moment. "Hazuki-san didn't say that."
"Finally," Rin exaggerated his sigh of relief, silently celebrating at the back of his head, and joined with the melodic laughter.
"Good luck in your race, senpai," Ai said in a short while when the laughter lingered in their eyes. "Oh that reminds me…" His face perked up remembering something.
"What?"
"Hazuki-san mentioned something about your swimming ritual, about how your relay team used to do before the race starts to give each other a boost of luck."
Rin frowned, trying to remember. Five years seemed a very long time ago. Other than snapping his goggles at the back of his head, he couldn't remember any other quirk. He dug in deeper into memory for that shared habit of theirs.
But his imminent soul searching and memory recall was put to halt as Aiichirou closed his eyes and their distance, foreheads touched and noses bumped a heartbeat later;. Rin swore he could breathe in what Ai was breathing out. Another heartbeat passed and his lungs ceased to function all-together, felt his head melting and reeling. Ai's lips were close—so dangerously close—that if he angled his head a little, their distance would be fully bridged and…
"Oh~ what are you guys doing?" Momotarou's sharp question pierced through their bubble, and Rin was once again reminded where they were presently.
The looks on the other swimmers faces told him that yes; they had seen everything there was to see and they were shutting their respective locker doors in order to get out of the room and give the two their most needed privacy, if needed.
"It's a good luck charm," Ai said sweetly, too sweetly, that Rin was bombarded with repressed memories of his former relay team and their little habits in encouraging each other back in the days. Rin cradled his burning face in the palm of his hands, mentally reminding himself to inform Nagisa that close physical contact wasn't an action to be shared in high school, unless you want people with functional hormones to get the wrong idea.
"Senpai, did I do anything wrong?"
Rin wanted badly to answer that question, but his reply was cut off short with Momo bouncing in between them, begging Ai for a good luck charm too.
"Come on, Nitori-senpai," Momo hyped, sandwiching between him and Ai on the upholstery, "I want a forehead touch too! Wish me good luck too!"
"Sure, why not…"
"Momo!" Rin clawed their resident firecracker's head before the act could be consummated. He was not ready to explain that situation again to the passersby around. Angling Momo's body, he explained. "It's the butterfly swimmer who gives the good luck charm to the backstroke swimmer, or else it wouldn't work."
"Oh," Momo's eyes lit up in understanding. Flipping over, he turned completely that he was face-to-face with Rin. "Senpai, whenever you are rea—"
Rin slapped both of his palms on Momo's plump cheeks, the imprint of his fingers forming a reddening mark. "There you go!"
"Yosh! I feel powered-up!"
"Uozumi, you want one too?" Rin offered his other swimmer, who has just finished sending a message in his phone. Uozumi grinned amicably, but shook his head at the offer. "You sure? This is powerful stuff here."
"Your offer is much appreciated, captain, but I'm good."
"Nitori-senpai, let me give you a charm too!" vowed Momotarou, posed in a chivalrous manner on the locker room couch.
As a good senpai, Ai thought it was his responsibility to inform Momotarou over a simple, forgotten fact, "I've already raced, Momo-kun, and I didn't qualify for the breast stroke event."
"What!" Momo gasped aloud, aghast, "No way! When did this happen?"
"While you were in the bathroom dislodging your anxiety down the drain," Uozumi gave him a look as if Momo repeatedly dropped his head for a habit. It was not far from the truth anyway.
Still, Momo managed to retain his sunny disposition in life, crouching down on eye level so he could gaze at his senpai with collected, determined eyes. "Don't worry senpai. You'll always be a winner here." Momo touched the left side of his chest.
Aiichirou was moved.
"We need a tranquilizer gun," Rin commented offhandedly, and Uozumi nodded in approval.
"Minami has one prepared," Uozumi notified his captain. "We'll have it ready for use after the matches."
"You guys are the best," said Rin. Rising up, Rin had enough of the semantics and dragged the firecracker away. He needed to prepare the two backstroke swimmers for their event, which was to start any moment now. The less distraction he had, the more things he could have done. "You go on ahead, Ai. I'll just prime these two before the matches."
Ai nodded, waved his farewells, slung the strap of his bag on one shoulder, and went out the room in that short order. Walking out, as he was prepping himself for the heavy doses of cheers he had in store for his teammates, he found the weight of his baggage a little lighter and the stadium sun wasn't as bleak as it was before.
the end.