"This is so laaame!" Cartman wailed after he crushed a bug under his foot.
"Well what else are we supposed to do?" Stan sighed.
"I was hoping something other than sitting here!"
"Cartman it's freaking hot out here." Kyle hissed.
"Well I'm sorry for actually protesting against this. Kinny what should we do?"
Kenny thought for a moment and shrugged. Eric growled and turned to Shay.
"What about you, Slushy?"
"Hey that's a great idea! We could go get some slushies!" Stan exclaimed.
They all agreed and got up from the porch and were at the edge of the street when the familiar, friendly joy of jingling bells sang along the horizon. Freezing they waited for it to peek over the road.
"Look guys! It's the ice cream truck!" Cartman cried in happiness and dropped to his knees. "Thank you God!"
The pink ice cream painted on the side of the truck shimmered and beckoned them forward. A bunch of smaller kids looked up at the sound of Cartman's triumphant shout and got out their money. At once they pushed passed the five teens eager to get the first popcicle. It stopped and a person opened the window, taking the money that was placed on the bar and handing out the requested frozen delights. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Shay all stopped in their tracks as the whole truck began to become overrun with elementary children.
"Dude, there is no way were getting an ice cream at this rate." Kyle's jaw hit the ground.
"Awww but I wanted a vanilla ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkllles!" Cartman whined.
"Kyle's right, we know better than to just separate kids and sweets." Stan shoved his hands in his pockets in a disappointed moment.
Kenny sniffled and began to weep softly as did Shay a second later. Cartman comforted them and looked accusingly at Kyle.
"Look at them! They were really counting on us to get them an ice cream and you just had to go and shatter their hopes and dreams! Think of the poor, Kahl," his voice went into a soft whisper, "think of the poor."
Kyle growled and glared at the saint persona that Cartman had taken on then glanced at the crying Kenny and Shay. He gave in and they immediatly stopped.
"Grrr, fine, but only because I don't know when they'll get another chance like this."
"Yeah!" They cheered.
"That's a fine choice, Kahl." Cartman grinned.
"But wait, if we're really planning on getting an ice cream how are we going to beat the little kids? I mean, they always seem to know when the truck'll come around." Stan protested.
"Don't worry, we'll get there before them. Trust me, I have a plan."
"Oh boy, I don't like where this is going." Kyle shook his head.
"Kahl if you don't wanna join you can just go back to your Jewish home!"
"No! I want to get an ice cream too!"
"That's what I thought. Now, we'll just have to follow the truck and ambush it, demanding the driver to give us our treats before we set it on fire."
"That's a terrible idea!" Kyle shouted.
"Well do you have a better one?" Cartman challenged.
"Yes, I do. We'll just follow it and just try and beat the kids to it when it stops."
"It couldn't hurt to try." Stan nodded.
"Oh come on! You're going with his plan?" Cartman screamed. "How are we ever going to beat the little kids?"
"Well you can always go home, Cartman." Kyle smirked.
"Nuh-uh! No way! I brought up this whole thing in the first place I get to join!"
They shook on it and went undercover, tracking down every meter the truck went. They hid in the shadows and where ever they could in order to keep out of sight. Suddenly, it shuddered and came to a stop.
"Okay...now!"
They sprung from their hiding places, but were shocked to see a huge group of kids there already. Once everyone got what they wanted the truck started up again and rolled away from them. Each time they got closer to the vehicle children crowded around it and blocked them from the path. They began jumping on the houses of roofs and trying to run after it, all in vain.
"God damnit! There's no way we'll be able to get an ice cream using the Jew's stupid plan!" Cartman roared.
"He's right, we need to think of a different way."
"If you want to get to ze ice creem truck, zen I think I can help."
They turned to see a brown haired boy appear from the shadows.
"Christophe? Is that you?" Cartman stepped forward only to have a crowbar thrusted against his throat.
"Never adress me by zat name again, understand?" He growled.
"I-I'm sorry!"
"Who are you?" Stan asked.
"My name ez
Chrétien, Christophe ez my older brother." Chrétien took the cigarette from his mouth and puffed out smoke. "You are ze ones who he helped free Terrance and Phillip, no?"
"Yeah, you know about us?"
"Of course he wouldn't stop talking about you since zen," Chrétien pointed his crowbar at Cartman, "ezpecially you, you fat lard."
"Oh really?" Cartman gulped and held his breath until the smaller boy lifted it away.
"Yes, now, you all want somezing cool to eat, no?"
"Sure?"
"Zat was not a trick question. For years I have been tracking down zis particular truck and have memorized eets patterns of where eet goes, as Christophe would often send me out to grab somezing as a child, ze thoughtless bastard. None ze less I got ze job done."
"Is there this rivalry between you and Christophe?" Kyle inquiried.
"Must you say heez name so many times?" Chrétien sighed. "I just hate ze dick with everyzing in my entire being as much as I hate God, eez zat too much to ask? Now, I can leed you to where the truck will go, but in return you must buy me somezing as well."
"Pfft! Forget it Frenchie!" Cartman pouted.
"Or you can endlessly follow ze truck never hoping to ever catch eet."
"Ah haha, my friend was just kidding. Of course we'll buy you something." Stan chuckled.
"Zen eet eez settled. Follow me if you want to get somezing sweet."
Chrétien put the cigarette back into his mouth and placed his crowbar onto his back, taking off down the street in pursuit of the truck. They chased after him and did everything he did, whether it was jumping from tree to tree or hiding around the corners of the buildings. For what seemed miles they trailed behind the vehicle until it finally came to a stop. They waited as it parked beside them and they walked to the rear.
"Hello, kids, what would you like today?" The voice from inside asked.
"I wanna vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles!" Cartman shouted with joy.
"I'll take a vanilla with caramel." Kyle pushed Cartman out of the way.
"I'll have blueberry." Stan held up two fingers.
"I'll have a Death By Chocolate." Kenny and Shay chimed.
"Anything you want, Chrétien?"
"Ze simple strawberry." He didn't look to them.
"Here you go, kids, have a nice day!"
The truck rumbled as they happily licked their treats, but it abruptly backed up and ran over Shay.
"Oh my God! They killed Slushy!" Stan cried.
"You bastard." Kyle shook a fist at the truck.
Kenny shouted and ran away in front of the truck. Immediatly it went forward and ran him over as well.
"Oh my God! They killed Slushy and Kenny!" Stan's face was red with shock.
"You double bastards!" Kyle shook both fists.
"I must be going now." Chrétien announced.
"Come by sometime!" Stan smiled.
"We'll see about zat." With that he was gone.
The three remaining boys traveled back home and finished their ice creams on the way. Having the satisfaction of getting their rewards made them forget all about the deaths and they spent the rest of the day watching re-runs of Terrance and Phillip.