believe in me
Something had been nagging at him all day. Something that he couldn't shake.
After they had gotten back from New York, no one had really heard from Quinn. She had missed a couple days of school and when he had asked Santana if she had heard anything, the Latina had said that Quinn was dealing with some personal crap and wanted to be left alone.
But a week went by and she still didn't return. He finally took to calling her mother. Mrs. Fabray said that Quinn had come down with broncitis after not sleeping for a few days and that she would be back in a few days.
And she did come back.
As usual, there were calls out to her as she walked down the hallway. Lots of 'Hey, Quinn!' and 'Hi, Quinn, how are you?'. She answered those calls with hellos right back. But there was something wrong. Something that he couldn't really discern.
He wound up heading over to her house after practice, ignoring Rachel's calls. He was afraid of what he was going to find.
/./
When he got to the Fabray house, he saw Quinn's car in the driveway, but her parents' were gone. He leapt up the front steps and banged on the door, calling Quinn's name and dialing her cell phone. There was no answer.
It was then when he decided to try the door and to his alarm, it was unlocked. The Fabrays never left their door unlocked.
He quickly pushed it open and practically tumbled over the threshold. He stumbled up the stairs, yelling Quinn's name. Still no answer.
"Quinn! Quinn, I know you're here! Answer me!"
He got to her room, knocking furiously on the door. He tried it and it was locked.
"Quinn, I'm coming in!" he shouted, letting out a mighty kick. The door caved in with just one push.
And he sees her.
/./
"Don't you die on me!" he sobbed as he dragged her across the floor to the shower. "Quinn!"
Backing into the bathroom, he managed to pull her up into his arms. Despite being slim, Quinn was a solid muscle and she wasn't very light. He falls backward into the shower, her still form in his lap. He quickly kicked on the shower and the water pounded down on them, blazing hot.
"Quinn! Quinn, wake up!" he viciously stuck his fingers down her throat, hoping like hell that the pills were still in her esophagus.
Luckily, the pills came right back up and spattered down her front. She awoke with a loud cough and gag, mixed with sobs of her own.
Relief flooded through him as he pulled her closer. "Thank god. Thank god..."
She turned slightly, finally seeing who her savior was.
"Why?" she forced out, tears mixing with the shower water streaming down her cheeks. And then she started to truly cry, her chin coming to rest on her chest. "Why couldn't you just let me die?"
He kissed her ear, pulling her back into his own chest, his arms circling her in the tightest of embraces.
"No way," he breathed. "I'm never letting you go again."
./.
"Why? I don't get it, Quinn. You have everything, absolutely everything. Why did you do that?"
It was a few hours later. He had gotten her cleaned up and practically treated her like a helpless baby, dressing her in warm pajamas and putting her in bed. They had fought about her going into the hospital to which she ultimately won but he still planned on taking her once she was fully calmed down.
He had still damp but had found some clothes that he had left behind the last time that he had snuck into her room. He stripped and pulled those clothes on, ignoring his dripping hair. It wasn't until she had thrown him a towel that he realized that he was freezing.
"I think my dad has an old sweatshirt that you could put on," she says. "Finn, you're shivering."
"No, I'm fine," he brushes off her concern. "I'm not leaving you."
"Finn, I'm not going to try to off myself again in the time that it takes you to go next door and grab something to keep warm. Please, just find something."
"Quinn, you are avoiding the question. What were you thinking?!" he was so tempted to rage at her, just to scream and yell. The Quinn Fabray he knew, not even the one who hated Lucy, would ever do that to herself. He couldn't understand.
"I'm not happy, okay?!" she finally hollered. "I thought that if I ended it, maybe it would all be better. I could be out of the way and you and Rachel could be happy, Sam would stop flaunting his attraction to Mercedes in my face, Puck would get his head screwed on right, I could stop thinking about Beth-"
He stared. "That is the most idiotic reason I have ever heard."
"Well, it's the truth. My presence is nothing but heartache for everyone and to tell you the honest to god truth, I hate seeing others miserable. Rachel-"
"Wait a minute, is this all about Rachel?" he interrupts. "Because if it is-jesus, Rachel is threatened by you! She seems to think that I will always go back to you and I'm starting to believe that she's right-" The words came out of his mouth faster than he realized and much quicker than he could get control.
Now it was her turn to stare. "Finn, don't be stupid. You do not owe me a goddamn thing and you shouldn't even really be here."
"But I'm here, aren't I? I knew something was wrong and I came to make sure that you were okay. If I hadn't gotten here, you'd be dead right now. Shouldn't that be enough?"
"No! No, it's not enough. You feel guilty and you came to check on me."
"You're damn right I feel guilty! It's because I hurt someone that I love very much and I am starting to think I made a big mistake-" This time, he clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to shut himself right up. Of course, it was too damn late. But it was the truth, everything that had just flown out of his mouth. Despite being in love with Rachel, he didn't think he was ever going to fall out of love with Quinn.
Nor did he want too.
"You can't love me," Quinn sighs tiredly, laying back into the piles of pillows. "Go home, Finn."
"I'm staying."
"Don't be an idiot," she says, pulling the quilts up to her chin and turning away. "Go home and be with your family. At least your life is somewhat straightened out."
Finn watches her still form for a minute and then makes his decision. The decision that he should have made initially.
He kicks off his shoes and pads across the carpeted floor, gently pulling back the quilts. Quinn watches him, wide eyed. "What are you doing?"
"Shut up," he whispers, crawling into bed beside her. "Just shut up, okay?" And his large arms circle her, pulling her against his chest.
And she doesn't fight him, finally allowing her own tears to come down, gently cascading down her cheeks and into his shirt.
"It's going to be all right," he breathes. "I know."
./.
This wasn't about guilt. It wasn't about sorrow or anger in any way.
This was about real love. It just took something as horrifying as a suicide attempt for either to realize who they really wanted and needed.
Finn Hudson really couldn't think of what his life would be like without Lucy Quinn Fabray. If he had gotten there just ten minutes later, he could have lost her forever. And he wasn't about to let any time waste now.
Rachel broke up with him a few weeks later, figuring out what had happened but not quite the true details. Only he, Quinn, and Mr. Shuester knew about that rainy afternoon.
A year later, on the anniversary of what could have been Quinn's death, he remembered what happened. He remembered bringing Quinn in to see Mr. Shue where she confessed how miserable she really was. He then told her what only Finn and Emma knew, that he had been quite close to commiting suicide before being hired at McKinley and taking over Glee. Finn was startled, never having seen Will cry before in his whole entire life.
With that connection, and that compassion, Quinn was able to get the help that she needed. She was able to let go of Beth and watch her grow up from afar. She was then accepted into Yale and left Lima.
He and Rachel reunited for a short amount of time but it just wasn't right. This time, he ended it for good. He wasn't surprised to here later that she had been accepted into NYADA and was currently living with Jessie St. James in NYC.
He stood as best man at Puck and Lauren Zizes' wedding, happy that his bro had found someone that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and she was someone who kept his fire burning. He stood as best man once again when Will and a very pregnant Emma finally tied the knot and was the one that drove the frantic Shuesters to the hospital when Emma's water broke right after the ceremony.
He and Quinn kept in touch with emails and texts but those eventually dwindled out. He took over Burt's shop and then took over as the Glee teacher when Will left for Chicago to take a part in a musical, Emma following him with now toddler Gabriella Shuester. They returned within the month and it was then when he knew he had to get the hell out of Lima.
./.
"Welcome to New Haven, Connecticut. We hope that you have enjoyed your flight."
./.
Ding-dong
"I'll get it, Stephanie!"
He would recognize her voice anywhere.
The large wooden panel door swung open to reveal her beautiful face. He gave himself a mental kick in the pants, never really realizing how gorgeous she was until this very moment.
"Finn?"
Her shorn hair was sticking up all over her head, obviously had been cut recently. She had no makeup and wore sweatpants and an off the shoulder teeshirt.
"Am I early?" he says with a sly smile. "We had a date, don't you remember?"
She stares for a second, her light green eyes shining. And then that smile, that smile that he adored for the longest of time, breaks across her lovely face.
"What took you so long, Hudson? I was just about to go and get ready," she grinned.
He delicately grabs her arm, pulling her against his chest. Her hand rests right above his beating heart, reminding her of truly alive they both are.
She gives him a full look, their eyes meeting. "Are you staying?" she breathes. There's something in those stunning eyes that makes his heart break just a little bit for all the time that they had missed being stupid kids. But then again, it was that time apart that made them both realize that each other was who they wanted. Who they needed. And who they would die for.
"Do you want me to stay forever?" he asks.
"I wouldn't hate it."
It was a time of letting go and a time of starting over. They had been through the ringer in the dozens of times that they had been on again, off again but now it was different. Now it was real...and it was wonderful.
./.
'don't wait, just let your speak
don't waste another heartbeat
say it, say it now'
-the afters 'say it now'
./.
fin
Another Finn and Quinn oneshot, guys. Thanks so much!
Check out my sister story to this 'candles', it's another Finn/Quinn oneshot set mid season 4.
I do not own the song 'Say it Now'. The lucky Afters have that wonder.