A/N: Very silly oneshot I wrote forever ago. Exceedingly silly. :) I also haven't seen this episode in forever, so I'm not even sure it fits into the canon. (I also couldn't remember random details while editing, like the color of Gwen's eyes. Who remembers that? I'm sorry if I got it wrong.) I hope you find it at least somewhat amusing!

"You can hug me again, if you want." Jack laughs, blue eyes sparkling with relief at the end of their journey. "No really, you can hug me again." Donna tries her best to be flirtatious with the gorgeous Captain, touching his arm and feeling the muscle beneath. He's really the most attractive man she's ever met, she thinks as she stares at his lips, those lips!

And then next second, she's kissing him. Donna Noble has always been the kind of person who goes for what she wants, barely thinking about the consequences. It has largely worked out for her in the past, and she can think of no reason this situation would be any different. Jack isn't as receptive to her kiss as she expected and she pulls back. He's looking at her with surprise, and that's what she chalks his resistance up to. Shock.

So she kisses him again and he is more responsive this time. God, he really is a good kisser. She tries to slip her tongue between his lips but he stops her this time, placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing her away.

"Wow...that was...that was really nice, Donna. Thank you." Nice. Thank you? Not exactly the way you'd want your kiss received.

"Nice! I would think that was more than nice!"

"No, really Donna, I enjoyed it." Jack smiles, patting her shoulder.

"Good." She leans in for another kiss, but Jack keeps her at arms length. "Not good?"

"I enjoyed it, but I'm sorry to say I'm taken."

"Oh, bugger. You've got to be kidding me."

"Yup. Seeing someone." She sighs.

"A Torchwood someone?" She thinks of that Gwen Cooper, with her soft brown hair and deep hazel eyes. Skinny Gwen Cooper.

"Yup. A Torchwood someone." He smiles and it suddenly looks patronizing. "But I did very much enjoy that kiss, Donna." He winks and her knees melt. She calls out to him as he's walking away.

"Oi, you call me if that Torchwood girlfriend of yours doesn't work out!"

"Oh, I will!" Jack calls back with a wave. Out of the corner of her eye, Donna can see Martha Jones laughing. "And what are you lookin' at?" The physician stifles her giggles, turning away.

"Oh, nothing. Just...nothing."

Martha wonders if she should warn Donna...but she's also seriously looking forward to the look on Donna's face when she figures it out.

"That's it, you lot!" The Doctor pulls a lever and the TARDIS groans to a halt. "Last stop for all UNIT and slash or Torchwood employees."

"It's been good to see you, Doc." Jack takes the Doctor's hand. "Stay in touch."

"Call me if you need anything." Martha hugs him and the small group exits the TARDIS onto a sunny London afternoon. Donna follows them.

"My team should be around here somewhere," Jack says, casting a searching glance around the park.

"Oi, Jack!" Gwen Cooper is walking towards them, waving her arm. She's followed closely by the sharply dressed Ianto Jones. Donna could get behind that too, if Jack and Gwen were truly happy together.

She watches with burning jealousy as Jack scoops up Gwen, twirling her around in a circle as she laughs.

"Good to have you back, Jack." She says as they embrace.

"I'm just so glad the two of you are alright." He kisses the top of her head, squeezing her arms gently before releasing her. He reaches around her to pull Ianto into a similar hug.

Donna's jaw falls open when Jack places his hands on both sides of Ianto's face and kisses him. It's sweet and gentle and nothing like Donna pictured the lude Jack's kisses could be. Ianto returns it, twisting his hands in Jack's shirt to pull him closer.

Everyone is watching them, the Doctor and Gwen with fondness, Mickey with a vague interest mixed with mild distress, and Donna with shock and a newly repositioned jealousy. But Martha is watching Donna, giggling at the look on her face.

"Oh, bugger!"