You are facing the same person who has clouded your mind for 2 years. You want to give them everything about you; your thoughts, feelings, stories, scars, love. Everything. And they want everything. But you can only stare blankly. You cannot even mutter a simple explanation as to how you truly, deeply feel for them.
You blame it on your past. There have been people to walk in your life that you have given everything to, and they took it all. Then one day they walk away without ever looking back, taking you with them.
All of these people in your past have left you with a new wall. For this reason, you are grateful for them. Without them, you would not have your expert ways of keeping conversations to small talk, and avoiding getting into too much detail about yourself. You've slipped a few times, sure. But the person in front of you cannot connect all of the pieces to the marvelous puzzle that is you. While that brings you to some sort of small peace, it makes you more uneasy than anything.
You want this person standing in front of you to have everything. You want them to be yours, and you to be theirs. But you simply cannot give yourself away to another person. You cannot let another person in just to watch them leave you.
Even if this person in front of you is the only one to give themselves to you. They have given you everything about them, and asked nothing in return. Until this moment. They are at the point of no return. They are asking for your all or nothing. You are all too familiar with this point. You have faced many people at this point, and could do nothing but let them walk away. You were somewhat okay with it before.
But this time is different. You cannot bear to watch this beautiful person walk away. You were okay with the others leaving. None of them were as patient as this person.
Suddenly, the reality of the situation hits you. A tear runs down their cheek, and it takes everything in you to not reach out and hold them close and never let go.
They turn to walk away. Your entire body is screaming to grab their wrist and tell them everything, start to finish, and hold nothing back anymore. You want to give them your entire being.
You quickly wrap your fingers around their wrist and choke out, "Chloe, wait." Chloe stands in silence, still facing away from you. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Chloe turns to face you, looking at you expectantly. The moment your eyes connect with Chloe's, you tell her everything you are feeling in that moment.
"Chloe, I know that you want me to tell you everything, to give you everything. But I- I can't." Another tear falls down Chloe's cheek, and you see the others threatening to erupt like a waterfall. You continue, "I can't give you my all right now. What I can give you right now is this.. You are the most patient, caring, and loving person I have ever had the pleasure to have in my life. I could not imagine a better person to share my everything with. I want that person to be you, but I can't." Chloe flinches as you reach your hand up to wipe the tears that are freely falling, and your heart hurts. You don't want her to feel like this, ever. And you hate yourself for making her feel this way. "I can't tell you everything right now. But I want to." You try to lighten the mood by adding, "I keep saying that I can't because that would take way too much time, and it's slightly cold out here." You hear Chloe let out a small chuckle and you smile softly.
"I like you, Chloe. I like you so much. And I know I'm a pain in the ass and frustrating 95% of the time, and I suck at opening up to anybody. But I want to. For you. I want you to know me, inside and out. I want-" Chloe crashes her lips into yours. She just had to hear you say it. She had to hear you say that you were going to open up, to let her in. That is all she has ever wanted.
Chloe's hands tangle in your hair while you lightly place your hand on her cheek, your other hand snaking around her waist to hold her close. You never want this moment to end. You want to stay here forever with Chloe.
Chloe breaks the kiss, leaving you breathing heavily. You slowly open your eyes to see Chloe shining the brightest smile she ever has your way. You smile just as big and rest your forehead against hers and stare into her eyes for what seems like centuries.
Your phone chimes and disrupts your perfect moment with Chloe. You both sigh as you open the text from Stacy asking where you two disappeared and if you were both alright. You quickly type out a short reply stating you were both fine and would be home soon. Stacy simply replied with a winky face and you laugh before locking your phone and putting it back in your pocket.
You offer your hand out to Chloe and she gladly takes it with the most adorable giggle you have heard in your life. You gesture for her to lead and slightly bow while joking, "We have been summoned. Lead the way M'lady" Chloe giggles again and pecks you on the cheek before stating, "You are such a weirdo."
"Yes, but I am your weirdo." you simply state while flashing her a goofy grin.
Chloe pulls you into her for one final kiss before you make your way back to the Bellas house. You smile to yourself and think of all of the things you will experience with this girl by your side. The worry from the beginning of the night is nowhere to be found, and you can honestly say you are happy, and you will remain happy as long as you have Chloe by your side.