A/N: I don't own Harry Potter's world, I just play with it for my own free amusement.
Lord Voldemort,
Could you please come and kill me.
As the only bad guy with my blood, you are the only one who can go through the wards. If you swear to not torture me I will send you my address.
Sincerely yours.
Harry James Potter.
P.S. Don't kill Hedwig. She's the only owl who can find me.
I nearly forgot. Every locator charms will be disabled by the wards.
-0-
Mr Potter,
I was clearly surprised by your missive, ans by the fact that your owl found me. She's very clever.
On an other topic, you didn't think that I would come running at your proposal. It could be a trap. But, if it's a genuine request I gladly want to negotiate the details with you.
In this letter, you will find inclose a blank parchment. We can communicate through it. You write on your parchment and it will appear instantly on mine. As so, no owls will be sent, nor tracking spells nor locator charms would be cast unnecessarily.
Sincerely yours,
Lord Voldemort.
P.S. I won't swear to you that the parchment is harmless. But if you want to die, it won't be a problem, will it. Nevertheless I can swear that if you use the parchment, it will be totally painless.
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Lord Voldemort,
I'm a little disappointed. I wanted it to be finished soon.
I understand your fear of a trap. But I assure you that it isn't one. I really want to die. How do I prove myself to you?
Sincerely yours,
Harry James Potter.
-0-
Dear Mr Potter,
You just did prove yourself. Indeed only one of my blood can write or read this parchment and only the truth can be written on it.
May I inquire about your death wish? I'm quite intrigued because from someone so young as you it could be qualified of unusual.
Sincerely yours,
Lord Voldemort.
P.S. I fear nothing, I'm just very cautious. (SSSssss Ssssss. Translation: Stupid Parchment)
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Dear Lord Voldemort,
Of course you are very cautious. I wouldn't presume anything else. Oups.
I didn't know that parseltongue could be written. How interesting. It's a shame that I don't have a library to research.
That is one of the few thing that I want to die for. Don't think that I'm shallow enough to die for a library. No. But it's one of the reason.
The main reason is the deaths, and particularly Sirius' death.
I suppose you know that he was my godfather. I loved him so much!
Furthermore, he was my only ticket out of my personal hellhole.
Sincerely yours,
Harry Potter
-0-
Insolent Brat,
I assure you that wanting to die for a library is indeed quite shallow of you.
The point where you lose me is the death of your godfather. I understand that you loved but but for the rest what are you talking about? What personal hellhole? You are rumored to be a pampered little prince. Are the rumors wrong?
Sincerely yours,
Lord Voldemort.
P.S. The parseltongue is the language of snake. It shouldn't have a written form. Nevertheless, Salazar Slytherin created the form to code all is writings. Only his descendants with the ability could read it. It's quite useful.
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Dear Lord Voldy (it's for the Insolent brat),
Thanks for the information on parseltongue. Nobody want to talk to me about it. It's quite frustrating.
I have just received an owl of Dumbledore is asking me to whom I have written, as no friends of mine has received a letter from me. The manipulative old coot. I HATE him!
Here is his letter.
Beginning of Dumbledore's letter:
My dear boy,
I'm wondering to whom you have written as Hermione and Ron didn't receive a letter from you. It was very careless of you to send Hedwig. She is a very recognizable owl and you have put your pen-pal in danger.
Please tell me to whom you have sent your letter so I can protect them.
Sincerely yours,
Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
End of Dumbledore's letter.
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HAAAAATTTTTTTTEEEE HHHHHHHIIIIIMMMMMM!
-0-
Insolent Brat (No-one call me Lord Voldy. How dare you?),
As I understand your hate for the old goat, I don't understand the suddenness of it. What did happen to unleash such hatred? And why didn't yous respond to the questions of the last time?
As I'm sure you don't want to tell the goat that you wrote me, I suggest a diversion. Write a letter to Gringott and ask an account of all the withdrawals of your vault. At the reading of the goat's letter, I think you will have a few surprises. Furthermore, I'm sure your owl can loose all her pursuers.
With the first letter for Gringott, you will make your owl deliver a second letter to the old coot stating your askance for an account.
On the topic of the danger, the bank can defend itself against my supposed attacks.
I want to read the response of the coot. It will be entertaining.
Sincerely yours,
Lord Voldemort.
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Dear Voldy,
I'm so happy to entertain you.
I've just sent Hedwig with the two letters. She knows what she has to do.
Why do you think that I will have surprises with my account?
And for your other questions it quite simple. My relatives hate everything to do with magic, including me. I'm their personal house-elf. My first room, for the first ten years of my life with them was the cupboard under the stairs. So much for the pampered prince. And, why nobody came to check on me?
I don't know why the headmaster sent me here in the first place. Supposedly the wards are made from the love of my family. But they hate me. Furthermore, I've read all I could on wards in Hogwart's library, and I found nothing on this supposed love wards. Even in the restricted section.
And why hadn't Dumbledore asked for a fair trial for my godfather. Truth spells and veritaserum were already existing 15 years ago.
Moreover Dumbledore asked my traitorous friends to spy on me since the first day. I heard them talk about it. How could they do that to me?
Why did Dumbledore ask Snape to teach me occlumency knowing that we hate each other? It caused my godfather's death.
They robbed my childhood, they robbed the only family I could have had, they robbed my friendship. Everything was false. It hurts so much, and I hate them all for what they did to me.
I don't want to fight or die for them. If I have to die, it would be because I chose it and not because I was forced to fight a war I don't believe in, and not because of a stupid prophecy. And if they are the light side, better be dead than fight for them.
That's why I asked you to come and kill me. I don't want to see them again. I hope you will come soon.
Sincerely yours.
Harry Potter.