ROAD TRIP CHAPTER 1
Disclaimer: What? Like I have the money to own these things. All things Stargate belong to the PTB's, Dark Hunters belong to the Goddess aka Sherilyn Kenyon and Shannon is her own (slightly bent) person.
"What is all of that?" Jon asked pointing at the pile of bags, boxes and coolers.
"The essentials for a road trip my dear friend. We have sodas, sandwiches and snacks," Shannon answered as she double checked her list.
"All of that can't possibly be just food," he said skeptically.
"There is also extra motor oil, anti-freeze , water jugs and various other things to make sure this heap of junk gets us to our destination," she said insultingly.
"My baby is in top shape, woman! How dare you insult her! She may not look like much but she can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs," he channeled his inner scoundrel.
"You just keep thinking that flyboy," Shannon patted his chest comfortingly. "Everyone has delusions of grandeur."
"Hey! I resemble that remark!" Jon joked back at her. Continuing to go through the box he picked up a book stuck in the side, "What the hell? Why is there a copy of Truck Repair for Dummies in this box?"
Smiling, Shannon took the book out of his hand and put it back in the box, "Just in case something breaks and we need to fix it on the side of the road. Now look over this list while I go back and get the maps and atlas."
"I still don't know why we just don't get a GPS for this trip," the teenage clone complained.
"Yes, because I want Big Brother keeping a constant eye on us and continuing to keep us down," Shannon replied, as sarcastic as ever. "Did you not read 1984 in English class? And just so you know, I also printed out some roadside attractions we can stop at."
"No way, I'm not stopping at any giant ball of yarn," shaking his head at her. "We are going to Frisco to the Pepperoni Place to see the Wizards of Oz kick around a ball and then on to LA to see the sights," he complained just to irritate her.
"Oh no, you didn't just call my boys the Wizards of Oz! I know karate and will kick your ass. I don't call your Avalanche boys figure skaters, so you be nice about my soccer team! We are going to Pizza Hut Park to watch the Kansas City Wizards play followed by a trip to the Roswell UFO Festival. I don't care if you ever see any bikini clad starlets in LA, you philistine," she ground out.
"I am already following a stinking soccer team around on my vacation. I will not go to the biggest tourist trap in the country," he argued.
"Ok, so don't go to Hollywood," the slightly distracted girl said. "It won't hurt my feelings any."
"I meant, Roswell genius," he zinged back at her. "Why are we taking a tent and camping gear?" he asked, wondering how he got talked into this. "Didn't you get an ungodly amount of money from your little auction?"
"Yes I did," Shannon answered, "would you like to explain to my parental units where all of it came from?"
"Point taken," he heaved a sigh and started packing things in the back of his black 1997 Chevy Silverado truck.
Lifting one of the duffle bags he let out a groan, "For crying out loud, what is in this thing, bricks?"
"Nope, those are my Dark Hunter books, I figure I can reread them while you drive," she took the bag from him and put it up in the cab.
Rolling his eyes he warned her, "Just don't read them out loud. I don't want to hear a bunch of romantic junk."
"Your loss," Shannon gave him a pitying look, "I think you would like them. There is just the right amount of violence and sarcasm."
"I can get plenty of that on my own," Jon stated, thinking of the SGC and his 'family'. "What did you pack in the way of tune-age?"
"A mix of my music and your old fuddy duddy stuff, I would think you were my dad's age with the crap you listen to," she rolled her eyes at him.
"Well I can barely stand the stuff you call music so if I have to listen to the complete works of Garth Brooks, you can just suffer through mine," Jon insulted her taste in music as he put the last box in the bed of the truck.
"That is it! Unpack it all and take it back in the garage!" Shannon fumed.
Jon looked at her as she started to storm back into her house. Looking over his mental calendar he cursed himself for going too far. "Shannon, please, I sorry!" he yelled, "Garth isn't that bad and you promised to teach me about your 'Beautiful Game'."
Shannon stopped a few feet from the door. Slowly she turned around to face him. "We are going to follow the trip I planned out?" she asked suspiciously.
"Sure," he placated, "I'll even take your picture with a Roswell Gray." She turned back towards the house. "What? What did I say this time?"
"I forgot the camera," she yelled at him as she went in the door.
Slapping his hand to his forehead he turned back to the vehicle as his cell started to ring. Looking at the display he wondered to himself, 'What now?'
"What do you want?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Now is that anyway to answer a phone? I know my mother taught me better," the voice on the other end inquired.
"Listen, geezer, I am having a little trouble right now, so what do you want?" Jon huffed.
"What kind of trouble?" was the reply of Col. Jack O'Neill?
"It is a red circle day on the calendar and I forgot," was the clone's defeated reply. "We may never make it out of Colorado Springs."
"Just stop at the first 7-11 you see and buy every Hershey bar they have," was the advice given. "And you might want to try and avoid any more verbal landmines."
"Good thinking, I knew I kept you around for a reason," the teenager sagged in relief.
"Now about this road trip with a female of the opposite sex," Jack got to the reason for his call. "Have you lost our mind?"
"What? Get your mind out of the gutter, you old goat," Jon seethed, "Shannon is my best friend and I am not going to let her follow her favorite soccer team around the Southwest by herself! It would be like letting Danny go off by himself. You do remember the last time you let him go on a road trip without you, don't you?"
Jack shuddered as he thought back to the FUBAR that was Honduras. "Ok, I admit it, you have a compelling argument. Did you have a mechanic check the truck out? Do you have places to stay? How are you on food money?"
"What are you, my parent?" Jon snarled even as he was touched by the concern in Jack's voice. "My baby is in good shape. Unlike some people, I have the time on my hands to make sure she is in working order. Besides, my cruise director has packed a care package for the trip."
"Ok, ok, I give. Still, watch your back out there. You will be farther away from the mountain if certain "friends" of ours try anything," Jack warned.
"Don't worry so much, Uncle Jack," Jon reassured him as his traveling companion joined him, "Uncle George is speed dial #1 should we get into too much trouble."
Shannon grabbed the phone from Jon, "Don't worry so much Jack; I'll keep him out of trouble."
With sarcasm in his voice, the older man replied. "Well now, that doesn't exactly inspire confidence in me dear. Just have fun and try not to get arrested."
"We will!" Shannon chirped bouncing on her toes in excitement, "Bye and we will bring you a souvenir from Roswell." She handed the phone back to its owner.
"Tell me she was kidding about the Roswell thing," the Air Force colonel begged.
"Oh no, we are going to go to the UFO Festival apparently. I'll bring you back a stuffed Roswell Gray. 'Uncle' Thor might get a kick out of it," Jon just loved any chance to torture Jack.
"Have a safe trip, Mini Me," Jack said, knowing that now was the time to retreat. He'd get the kid next time.
"TTFN," Jon signed off as he disconnected the call, "I've been hanging around you too long, I'm starting to talk like you. Alright, let's get this show on the road."
"Yes! We are off to see the Wizards!" Shannon practically skipped to the truck and proceeded to climb in.
"Do you need a step ladder, Shorty?" Jon teased.
"Shut up, Gigantor," the petite redhead glared at him after finally getting into the passenger seat.
Whistling 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road' Jon got into the driver's seat and soon they were off on their new adventure.
Ah, the end of the chapter is here, I now require a Sprite, an Onyx charge card and the QVC. (DH lovers know what I mean.) Oh, and Shannon really is that paranoid about GPS units, that is a direct quote.
Gotta go get some sleep the 15 hour time difference between here and China is kicking my butt. GO USA!