The ballroom was lit up in soft candlelight, enough to encourage a sense of secrecy and romance. Maybe that was the reason the moment he saw him standing across the room.
His breath caught. The man was tall, beautiful, with dark features and sun-kissed skin. His eyes were warm and kind, far more than anyone else in his life.
He came over, handed Jou a glass of champagne. "You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied."
Jou was taken aback. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean." He took the drink and hissed: "you forget yourself."
The smile was warm. "You're like me," he corrected himself. "I have never been satisfied."
"Is that right?" He smiled. He was beginning to see what he meant. He offered forward a delicately gloved hand. "My name is Jounouchi Katsuya."
"Honda Hiroto."
A very common name. Every other family was named Honda. But… He smiled charmingly. "Where's your family from?"
Honda's eyes darted away. "Unimportant. There's a million things I haven't done." A smile crossed his lips. "Just you wait."
That… didn't answer the question. Which only meant his family had no respectable conditions. Well. That was no reason not to talk to him. They spoke for mere minutes, and Jou could feel himself completely won over. He was penniless, obviously, and utterly common. But Jou didn't seem to care. Maybe he could just…
He took his arm in one hand, and then looked around to see if anyone was watching them so that they might sneak away.
And there was Shizuka.
She looked as if she had just seen the sun rising for the first time in her life. And her eyes were on Honda.
Three things hit him all at once:
Number one: he was the eldest Jounouchi, and the only son. His only job was to marry well. He had to social climb, make a good match: money, or a title. Preferably both. The gossip in Domino City was insidious, and if he left now and anyone saw… his reputation would be ruined.
Number two: Honda was after him because he was a Jounouchi. He would be naive to think that wasn't the only reason the brunet was interested in him.
...perhaps at least that could be happy between them.
Because, number three: he knew his sister like he knew his own mind. There would never be anyone as trusting or as kind. If Jou told her… if he admitted that he wanted Honda, she'd be silently resigned. She would say I'm fine, Katsuya. She'd be lying.
"Where are you taking me?" Honda asked, a smile in his voice.
He couldn't do it. "I'm about to change your life."
"Then by all means, lead the way."
The ballroom seemed too small as he crossed the room and stopped before his sister. His beautiful, warm, loving sister. She curtseyed as they stopped, but her eyes never left Honda's face. Her expression utterly helpless.
"Jounouchi Shizuka. Pleased to meet you."
"Jounouchi?" Honda echoed, glancing at Jou.
He smiled knowingly. "My sister."
She reached up, her white-gloved hand gently touching the sleeve of Honda's resplendent uniform. "Thank you for all your service."
Understanding dawned in Honda's eyes, then gratitude. He turned to Shizuka and gave a charming smile. "If it takes fighting a war for the two of us to meet, then it will have been worth it."
Jou felt a sick twist forming in his stomach. "I'll leave you to it."
"It's a letter!" Shizuka cried out eagerly, practically ripping it open in her eagerness to break the wax seal. She read it and squealed with excitement, collapsing next to Jou on his bed and shoving it at him.
He read the letter, his heart sinking. "Be careful of that one, love," he murmured, passing her the letter back. "He will do what it takes to survive."
She laughed at him, and clutched the letter to his chest. "You're just jealous!"
He smiled. Did his best to disguise to truth with a joking voice: "I'm just saying, if you really loved me, you would share him."
"Hah!" She hit his arm and rushed to her writing desk to pen a reply immediately.
"I'm going to faint!"
"Shizuka, you're not going to pass out," he whispered, reaching to clasp her hand.
"Oh, Katsuya. I'm going to die if he says no." Her voice was weak, desperate… so helpless, again.
But they both fall silent as General Jounouchi makes his way across the room. Their father, usually so serious and dour-faced, clasped Honda's hand in his. "Be true."
Honda turns to Shizuka and smiles. She cries out in joy and rushes to her fiance's side to throw herself into his arms.
"Nice work, Katsuya," he whispered to himself. "You will never be satisfied."
"And now for the man of honour, Jounouchi Katsuya!"
The room cheered and tinkled their crystal glasses with little spoons. He rose to his feet and held up his glass. Feeling sick every moment. "To the groom!" he announced.
"To the groom!" the room echoed.
"To the bride!" Jou encouraged.
They repeated him again.
"From your brother, who will always be at your side. To your union," more echoes, but at the back some were shouting 'to the revolution' instead. "To the hope you provide." He rose his glass, meeting Honda's eyes intently. "May you always be satisfied."
The brown eyes, just for a moment, looked so stricken. But then he smiled and raised his glass as well.
The war ended. Things returned back to normal.
"I am sailing off for London," he murmured, tucked away in a corner of a small dinner party, with his sister's husband, "accompanied by someone who always pays." He avoided the stricken look in Honda's eyes. "I have found a wealthy husband who will keep me in comfort for all of my days."
"That snobby bastard?"
He laughed, glancing at the sour-faced brunet with blue eyes sitting in the corner with his father. "He is not a lot of fun," he admitted. "But then again… there's no one who can match you for that."
"...Katsuya."
He smiled. "Don't forget to write."
"My dearest, Katsuya". He'd written my dearest, Katsuya. One stroke, and Honda had consumed his waking days.
"Do you have to live an ocean away?" He whispered, his chest aching.
Across the room, glancing up from his newspaper, his husband called: "another letter from your sister, my dear?"
He pushed Honda's note under a stack of other paper. "She's invited us to stay in New York for the Summer."
A slight frown formed at that.
"Out in the country. At our father's estate."
His husband sighed. "We'll all go, then. Write to her and tell her that you're coming." He lifted the newspaper again, closing himself off.
Does he have to be so cold? But he took the pen up eagerly.
My dearest Honda,
You must get through to Otogi. Sit down with him and compromise, don't stop 'till you agree. Your favourite older brother, Katsuya reminds you there's someone in your corner all the way across the sea.
The letter I received from you I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning. Did you intend this?
He shook his head rapidly and got back to the news:
Anyway, all this to say:
I'm coming home this summer at my sister's invitation, I'll be there with your family if you make your way upstate. I know you're very busy. I know you're work's important. But I'm crossing the ocean and it just can't wait.
You won't be an ocean away. You will only be a moment away.
Your dearest,
Katsuya.
"Katsuya!"
"Shizuka!"
Another soft voice near the doorway, as Jou wrapped his sister in his arms and swung her around. "...the Jounouchi Siblings…"
Jou smiled and came forward, offering both his hands to him. "Honda."
"...hi."
"It's good to see your face."
Shizuka immediately butted in, sounding harried. "Katsuya, tell this man your husband spends the summer with his family."
"Katsuya, tell my wife that bastard doesn't have a real job anyway."
The exhausted/frustrated tone of a repeated argument didn't sit well with him. Nor did the news. "You're not joining us?" He asked, hurt. "Wait…"
Honda sighed. "I'm afraid I cannot join you upstate."
"Honda, I came all this way."
"He came all this way!"
"Take a break!" Jou insisted. "Run away with us for the summer, let's go upstate.
"I could lose my job…"
"We'll all go stay with our father. I know I'll miss you there." He touched Honda's arm. "Screw your courage to the sticking place."
"Katsuya's right! Take a break!" Shizuka pleaded.
"If you take your time, you will make your mark." Shizuka busied herself with the kettle and Jou stepped close, whispering: "close your eyes and dream, about when the night gets dark."
Honda sighed, defeated. "I will try to get away."
"I came as soon as I heard."
Honda turned around, his eyes desperate. "Katsuya…"
"All the way from London?" A nearby servant whispered. "Damn."
Honda gripped his hand. "Katsuya, thank god." His hands tightened. "Someone who understands what I'm struggling here to do."
He ripped his hand away. "I'm not here for you."
Honda's eyes went wide.
"I know my sister like I know my mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind." His fists clenched tightly. "I loved my sister more than anything in this life. I will choose her happiness over mine every time." He swung a fist out, punching Honda in the face and watching him topple out of his desk-chair. "Put what we had aside. I'm standing at her side."
"Katsuya…"
"'You can never be satisfied'?" He repeated, his voice icy. "God I hope you're satisfied."
He turned to walk away, ignoring the cries of 'Katsuya!' in his wake.
"Katsuya," a low, rumbling voice murmured. "You need to sleep." The voice of his husband. A soothing balm in that moment. He usually slept in his own room, on the other side of the house. But tonight, he'd come into Jou's bed.
"I can't," he whispered.
"Shhh." Warm arms wrapped around him, holding him close. "It's okay, I'm here. Stay with me."
Jou shook his head, but turned and tucked his face into Kaiba's chest. "There are moments that words won't reach," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "There is suffering too terrible to name."
A soft kiss pressed against each of his eyelids. "You hold your child as tight as you can, and push away the unimaginable."
"The moments when you're in so deep, it seems easier to just swim down." He whimpered, feeling a hollow ache in his chest.
A long-fingered hand stroking through Jou's hair softly. "No," he corrected. "We always swim up. Even when we can't imagine reaching the surface."
"What are they going to do?" He whispered, fighting tears.
"...they'll move up-town. I'll help them get a house." He kissed Jou's temple. "It's quiet up-town. They'll like it."
"He hates the quiet."
"Maybe he won't."
"They're standing in the garden," he murmured to Jou standing beside him, peeking out the curtain for him. "Honda is by Shizuka's side. She's taking his hand…"
He reached out and took his husband's hand, letting the lace curtain fall and obscure the sight. "They're trying to do the unimaginable."