You Know You're a Harry Potter Derp When You:

Insist that your snowy owl that you 'bought', Hedwig, lost her way when trying to deliver a letter to your friend.

Try to hex someone with a normal stick, painted to look like a crudely-made wand.

Accidentally call your friend a 'mudblood', and then berate yourself for the next 20 years (Snape reference).

Insist that a normal broom can fly, and say that you will be the greatest Quidditch player ever on it.

Gasp when you learn that one of your teachers has a teacher's name from Hogwarts (i.e. Snape, McGonagall, Slughorn, etc.), and ask for a private tutoring lesson to learn more spells.

Wear black robes all the time, even when it's 100 degrees out, and wear your 'House' colors.

Are saddened when you find out that you can't get a dragon from a random person in a pub.

Run away screaming from anyone who looks like Umbridge (okay, honestly, who wouldn't?).

Run away screaming from anyone who looks like Snape (ditto).

Ask a random person if they would like a lemon drop, and then cry when they say no to your offer.

Stalk a person called Professor Snape on Twitter, and wonder why he never follows you.

Insist that your blast-ended skrewt burnt your homework.

Insist your dragon burnt/ate your homework.

Say that Hagrid wants his clothes back when you see a teacher that looks like a hobo, and then laugh uncontrollably when he/she doesn't get it.

Cry when you learn that all of the Harry Potter characters are fake, and then try to commit suicide, and ending up in the hospital with a crap-load of 'deathly poison' is in your stomach.

Laugh uncontrollably when you hear that the Harry Potter actors will come to your home town, then camp outside of wherever they will be staying until a security guard calls the police.

Try to turn yourself into a half-fish person (Harry Potter in the Goblet of Fire, Second Trial), and then wonder why you almost drowned in a lake.

Call anyone failing a class (especially chemistry) a 'Neville Longbottom', and then laugh as their face turns red with anger.

Congratulate a Harry Potter look-alike, and then insist that your costume is way better than theirs, ending in a total fist fight.

Go through this list and realize that you have done at least three things on here, and ignore the fact you seriously need help if you've done more than five of them.

x_x :D

The End!