Author's Notes: This story is presented in the form of oral interviews: nine characters presenting information about the same subject. I was heavily influenced by Chuck Palahniuk's experimental novel Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey, and recommend it highly. Thanks are also in order for my wonderful betas, (name withheld) and (name withheld) Ladies you are wonderful.

Nine Voices

Preliminary report on the investigation into the disappearance of Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and person of interest to the Ministry of Magic

All interviews conducted by A. F. Sandgarden, chief secretary to M. C. Sylvester, Head Investigator, Magical Law Enforcement Squad. Interviews were conducted with strict adherence to code 78C19, all interviewees were questioned separately, and at length. An approved, department issued Quick Quotes Quill was used.

This brief has been edited and compiled for your expedience. EYES ONLY.

Hermione Granger (Charms Mistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry): It's very simple. He died in my arms, and nothing was ever the same.

Poppy Pomfrey (School Nurse, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry): Oh, we brought him back to life alright, but he was never really the same. Something about him was … off. Venom is especially tricky, and magical venom is a different animal all together. Of course it changes you. Of course it changed him. We just didn't realize how much at first.

Hermione Granger: He was trying to hold what was left of his throat together; making the most horrible noises. He passed his memories to Harry, and we knew there was no time to lose. But I couldn't just leave him there. They went, and I stayed. I sent my patronus to Madam Pomfrey, and then I watched him die. And just before he passed, he whispered "Look at me." I did. I watched the light leave his eyes.

Minerva McGonagall (Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry): But it wasn't just the venom. No one could keep up that kind of double life for so long without it taking a toll. We needed him to do it. I firmly believe we wouldn't have won the war if not for his tireless efforts. I think we failed him. Has it occurred to you that he's missing because he wants to find some peace?

Portrait of Albus Dumbledore (Former Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Deceased): Severus Snape was one of the bravest and most honorable men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I have no further comment on the matter. Do I need to remind you that Subpoenas have no legally binding power over the dead?

Hermione Granger: He returned to Hogwarts to recuperate. He was reinstated as Potions Master immediately, I saw to that, but he wasn't ready to resume his duties right away. There were memory lapses; his speech was slurred for the first two weeks while we drew the venom out. The scars were horrible. I tried so many spells and potions to urge them to knit cleanly, but it was no use. They were barely noticeable when he wore his frockcoat, but I could tell he was self conscious of them.

Poppy Pomfrey: She was underfoot during the entire process, but her presence seemed to help him. He was irritable, foul-tempered, just awful. But when she came round, he would give it a rest. She might not have been able to do much with the scars, but I think she helped him heal none the less.

Ronald Weasley (Co-Owner of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes): Yeah, she spent a lot of time with him, but it was entirely innocent on her part. She's always taking up causes. I mean, she tried to liberate the house elves! She sees something that needs saving, and off she goes. I think he knew that, and I think he preyed on that. No matter how much she says otherwise.

Hermione Granger: Yes, we did spend a lot of time together. I helped him replenish the school's depleted potion stores. I felt … responsible for him. For helping him get back on his feet. When someone dies in your arms, you feel like you owe them something - it was impossible to not want to help him. He'd get so wrapped up in remembering how this or that potion went and he'd just forget the world around him. He had to be reminded to stop and eat. He got so thin that I started packing three lunches in the morning – Ron took one into work, and I took two.

Harry Potter (Auror in training): It was awkward at first. To tell you the truth, I mostly avoided him. I can appreciate what he did for us, and I know that he suffered great personal costs, but he had a lot to make up for. Hermione wouldn't hear a word against him, though. I know she spent all her free time at Hogwarts with him. I didn't mention it to Ron in the beginning. I knew it would upset him, and she was adamant that they were just friends. I think she believed that, just friends. She didn't seem to notice the way he'd started looking at her.

Hermione Granger: We'd walk to the lake for lunch sometimes. I think the fresh air did him good. He never said much, but he seemed – I don't know. Happier? Was he happy? It was hard to tell. But he never complained and he never said a cross word to me. It was … nice.

Harry: Ok, look, Snape was a hero, and no one's disputing that. But I grew up with that man, and let's face facts. He was an arsehole. He didn't love my mother - he was obsessed with her. When you think about it like that, it's really creepy.

Ronald Weasley: I don't care what anyone says. He wasn't a hero, he was a git. And a sex pervert. And he smelled.

Hermione: He did not smell. Actually, that's not true. He smelled nice. Herbal. Did Ron really say that?

Minerva McGonagall: I don't think she ever saw it coming. But I did. Severus was never a charismatic man, but he had many good qualities. Few people bothered to look past the exterior to find them. Hermione did, and he loved her for it. Like he loved Lily. He never did quite get the hang of love, didn't understand that there could be gradations. One day, she was nothing to him and the next? She was everything.

Astrid De Lane (Metamorphmagus, Prostitute): I knew him for years, but I can't say I really knew him. He wasn't the chatty type. Didn't request anything odd or extreme, didn't take long, tipped well, never caused much of a stir. Same thing every time: Long red hair, green eyes, pert nose. It went on like that for years. When the war broke out in earnest, he stopped coming to me. I was worried he was dead. He was a good customer, and war is never very kind to us in this business. Ms. De Lane has been granted immunity for her gracious help in this investigation. She may also prove an invaluable source in several other pending investigations. – A. F. Sandgarden

Hermione Granger: I didn't see what all the fuss was about. In retrospect, I understand that I may have overlooked some signals that he had a deeper interest in me, but he was a perfect gentleman. Perhaps it was a bit odd that he kept showing when I just happened to be in the library, or the Great Hall, or when it was time for my evening rounds, but Hogwarts isn't as big as it seems. It was only natural that we'd run into each other often. And I have to tell you it galled me to see how people treated him. This man was – is – a hero and yet the public at large still seemed to look upon him with disdain. I know he killed the Headmaster, but he's been exonerated by overwhelming evidence. The fact that you people have him under magical probation at all is, is, well, it's a travesty of justice.

Minerva McGonagall: I'd catch a glimpse of them walking down the dark corridors together, hear a snippet of some hushed conversation, and I'd get an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu. It was Severus and Lily, all over again. Like before ... well. No sense in dredging up the past.

Astrid De Lane : Then, about a month after the battle of Hogwarts he knocks on my door, looking quite a bit worse for the wear. Of course, I slipped into the façade he'd always requested, but he just stood there. He looked confused, staring at me like I had sprouted extra limbs. Like I'd gone daft. When he finally found his voice he said, "You've got the hair all wrong." Customer's always right, you know.

Ronald Weasley: I'd surprise her during her lunch and there he was. After work? He was walking her off grounds. Of course I trust Hermione implicitly, but I have to say the whole thing was really starting to worry me. I really needed to talk to someone.

Harry Potter: I wasn't planning on saying anything to Ron. No need to upset him, right? She was my friend, but she was his fiancé. If he didn't think there was cause for concern, I wasn't going to be the one to plant the seeds of doubt. But when he came to me with his suspicions, of course I was going to help him sort things through. He's my best friend.

Astrid De Lane : Regardless of what you may think of my line of work, I take pride in my abilities. He left me a photo and by his next visit I was the spitting image of his new love. I opened the door, already transformed and I must say I took his breath away. I expected him to rush me into the bedroom and ravish me, but he suddenly seemed very shy. He held my hand. Touched my face. He asked me if I'd like to sit by the fireplace with him and have some tea. I figured he'd paid for the hour, and could spend it how he liked.

Hermione Granger: When Ron said he and Harry were going to the Broomsticks I didn't object. I honestly needed the time to grade papers and I can never get any work done when I'm at home. Please don't think I'm complaining. I love living with Ron. He just needs looking after. And tea. And a sandwich. And biscuits. I figured I'd just stay late at Hogwarts, have some food sent up, and plow through the third year scrolls. He'd have fun, I'd get my work done, everybody wins. I was carrying some Shepherd's Pie and the essays to my office when I bumped – literally – into Severus. I managed to catch the pie, but the scrolls went everywhere. I was so busy gathering them up that it took me a moment to notice how nice he looked. His hair was clean, his shirt neatly pressed, even his shoes shined. He stood there holding one of my escaped scrolls, looking positively respectable. I had planned to invite him to sit and grade with me, but it was obvious that he was going out. I will admit I was a bit shocked. Happy for him, yes, absolutely, but I just couldn't imagine who he was going out with.

Ronald Weasley: It is possible that, on the night in question, my friend and I consumed an alcoholic beverage. Two at the most.

Harry Potter: We were pissed. Ron was whinging on about this and that, beating around the bush, until he finally comes out and asks me if I think he should be worried.

Astrid De Lane: It's not very often that men pay me not to sleep with them. He hadn't so much as asked to see me naked in this new form. I don't usually go out in public with my gentleman, but he had made a real effort to clean up. And I was hungry.

Ronald Weasley: It wasn't just me. Harry had seen it too. It's not natural for a man to spend so much time hanging around a woman like that if he wasn't looking to get something off her.

Harry Potter: And it was like my mum all over again.

Ronald Weasley: Just like Harry's mum.

Harry Potter: We decided it was best to go home, sleep it off, and talk to Hermione in the morning. Surely she'd understand that we were just concerned for her. But what we saw next stopped us dead in our tracks.

Ronald Weasley: They were tucked into a booth in the back. If I hadn't have happened to glance that way I might have missed them altogether. It was them alright. I wanted there to be an easy explanation, a simple misunderstanding; but in the next moment he leaned into her – my fiancé - and he kissed her.

Harry Potter: I grabbed Ron by the shoulders and held fast. He was pretty pissed up and I didn't want him to do anything he'd regret. He shouted her name across the room.

Ronald Weasley: But she didn't even look up. She just acted like she hadn't even heard me; it made me furious.

Madam Rosmerta (Proprietress, The Three Broomsticks): I've been in this business long enough to see a fight coming. I hit him with a Jelly-Legs Jinx. Quick, painless, and incredibly effective on young bucks with more testosterone than sense.

Harry Potter: It was all I could do to keep Ron on his feet. My vision was swimming, but I did catch a glimpse of Snape leading a very confused Hermione towards the exit.

Ronald Weasley: My first thought was that he must have cast an Imperius on her. My second thought was that I was going to kill him.

Astrid De Lane : I had no idea what was going on, but I was none too pleased. He took hold of my wrist, tugged me out of my chair, and hurried us past the two drunken imbeciles at the bar. We almost made it.

Harry Potter: Ron made a lunge for Hermione, but his legs were still wobbly. He tripped, fell, grabbed Snape's trousers instead.

Ronald Weasley: All of a sudden there's a foot on my throat, and a wand pointed at my temple. All I could think was "Shit. Shit. I'm going to die."

Madam Rosmerta: Would he have done it? I can't rightly say. I couldn't see his face from where I was standing. He wasn't putting his full weight down, but that could change in a heartbeat. I wasn't about to try to jinx him. I knew who he was. I can handle the drunken twits, but I'm not about to go wand to wand with that man.

Harry Potter: Hermione was backing away from the scene, heading for the door. That's when I knew that whatever was going on here, she didn't have anything to do with it. I mean, that couldn't have been Hermione. Since when did she head away from trouble?

Astrid De Lane : I made a run for the door and apparated back to my flat. If you find him, you remind him that he still owes me for that hour.

Harry Potter: I tried to clock him, but he dodged it. He couldn't point his wand at both of us, so he shifted his weight more heavily on Ron and brought it to bear on me. My dander was up, and I was ready for him. But he didn't try to curse me. Didn't even try to hex me. He just said "Leave me be," and apparated right out form under us. I guess he knew he couldn't win this one.

Ronald Weasley: We hadn't a clue where he'd gotten to, so we set out to find Hermione. I was worried sick.

Hermione Granger: One minute I'm slogging my way through Angie Hufflebert's abysmally misguided explanation of the inner workings of crop charms, and the next I'm trying to calm down two woefully drunk and incredibly angry boys. Ron grabbed me by the arm, yelling, wanting to know where I'd been and what's been done to me. I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.

Harry Potter: I'd sobered up enough to take in the pile of essays, the half-eaten dinner, and the dying fire. I wasn't exactly thinking at full speed, but it was pretty obvious that Hermione hadn't left her office all night.

Minerva McGonagall: I heard the ruckus and came straight away. Some people are just troublemakers, no matter how old they get. Mr. Weasley looked close to tears and very inebriated. Poor Hermione was obviously confused as to just what was going on. Since no one had the presence of mind to cast a sobering charm I did the honors.

Hermione Granger: I think I laughed. Ron was babbling all this nonsense about my secret affair with Snape. At least Harry had the decency to look sheepish. It didn't take me too long to piece together their side of the story, but it was ridiculous. I wasn't out with him. They must have been mistaken. Unless…

Ronald Weasley: So it wasn't her. Ok. Fair enough. But she had to have done something to spark his interest.

Hermione Granger: He was treating me like I'd done something wrong. I told him to go home. I didn't want to see him at that moment. Minerva said I could stay with her, and I was grateful for it.

Harry Potter: I took Ron home. Hermione was safe at Hogwarts. He really didn't want to be alone with her, even if he thought he did; she's frightful when she's angry.

Minerva McGonagall: She needed a stiff drink, a down comforter, and a good night's sleep.

Hermione Granger: But, I couldn't sleep … I had to see him.

Minerva McGonagall: I think it was about 2 in the morning when she left. I can't be certain, though. She may have been gone for some time before I noticed.

Ronald Weasley: I contacted you right away. I mean, something illegal was going on, wasn't it?

Hermione Granger: I wasn't surprised to find his chambers in the castle were empty. I decided to check Spinner's End. Sure enough he was there - packing. I meant to ask him what had happened, who she was, and why she looked like me. But I couldn't. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. One moment I was standing awkwardly on his doorstep, and the next, he had his hands on my face and he was kissing me. It was nice. Really lovely.

Ronald Weasley: And he did assault me.

Hermione Granger: Of course I stopped him. I told him "Severus, I am so very, very fond of you, but this can't happen." The look on his face nearly broke my heart. I watched the light leave his eyes - It looked just like when he died.

Minerva McGonagall: He didn't show up to his classes the next day.

Harry Potter: I know Ron wants to press charges, but honestly, I think it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. He's gone, isn't he?

Hermione Granger: I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that to my fiancé. I can't see how it would do anything but hurt him unnecessarily. Severus has not tried to contact me since. I have no idea of his whereabouts. And if I did? I can't see any good reason why I'd tell you. Leave him be. Do you need Ron to rescind his charges? I can take care of that.

Luna Lovegood (Naturalist): There he was, wandering through my forest. He looked so very lost, like when you're on one path, but then that path comes to an end - then you take another path, only to find yourself back on the first path, heading towards the same ending. He looked like that. He was carrying oregano and cloves, and asked me if I knew where he could find a sprig of Agrimony. But that's not what he needed. He needed a Forget-Me. It looks just like a Forget-Me-Not except it's invisible because it doesn't exist yet.

Investigator's notes: No headway has been made in our efforts to locate Severus Snape, and the charges against him have been dropped. While this wizard's exceptional magical abilities make him an excellent candidate for the ministries magical reassignment pilot project, they also ensure that our chances of finding him if he wishes to stay missing are slim to nil. - A. F. Sandgarden