"He's a horrible man." That's what my mom always said whenever my father came up in a conversation. "He's a cold-blooded killer, a murderer, he goes against the will of God. I wish he were dead, Scotty, he deserves to rot in hell." You see, Eric Doyle is, well, just about the worst person I have met in my entire life, and (lucky me) he's my dad. Yeah. My mom was about 19, at a puppet show for her best friend's little sister, and Eric, she says, couldn't keep his eyes off her. She already had a boyfriend, she told him, but he just wouldn't listen to her.
When she looks back at it now, she says she always knew there was something creepy about those puppets. They seemed too…lifelike. She knew Eric was a creeper, too, and even though she's the bravest person I know, she just couldn't stop what would happen next.
Every time I ask her about it, my mom bursts into tears, and I don't mean to get her all riled up about it, but I can't help wondering how it all works. What he does to people. What he did to her. I don't really feel comfortable talkin' about it in detail, but the important thing is that I wasn't born out of love. Eric Doyle made my mom well, y'know… with her. And then I came. She said it was the worst thing that's ever happened to her in her whole life. I can't stop thinking about why she kept me. She says it's because her momma wanted a grandchild, an' she hated her momma. Not a really good reason, but it's all said and done.
Even at sixteen, my mom says, I can make a big difference in the world. She wants me to go to college, and get a good job an' stuff, but I know I can't do that. I just had this feeling, ever since my mom told me about my dad, that I had to do something about him. Stop him. I never did like puppets, and when he came over to our house in San Diego when I was about five, to see my mom again, I hated them even more. He wanted to be a family, he said, just the three of us. My mom was furious, and completely terrified. She knew what he could do to her, do to me, her little boy, and it was complete luck that agents from the Company were there to take 'im away before anything bad could happen.
They never got me on their records as his son 'til later. Later, I would find an interest in the Company. One that would change me. Give me someone to live for. Someone to love. Love. Thinkin' about the whole thing makes me wonder if I'm as bad as my father.
I never really thought about myself as special. I still don't think I deserve to be special. Still tryin' to figure it all out, how it works, what it's done to me, why it happens.
My name is Scott Doyle, and I love a guy. He's not just any guy, though. He's special, and I think he loves me back. At least, I think he does. And I can't help but wonder, is it real?
The sad thing is I'll never know. My mom, she hates 'im. Too bad, 'cause he's the one person in my life that makes me feel special, makes me feel like I belong. I know the bad stuff he's done, but I can't help but love 'im. Really, I can't; it is physically impossible for me not to be attracted to him. Hell, I think I'd like him even if I had a choice. Not that it's a bad thing, but I wonder what it'd be like if I didn't have this… ability. Would I have a girlfriend? Would I have a boyfriend? Does it have to do with genes? Is it chosen for you, or do you choose? All I know is that if I wasn't like this, things would be different. Better? Not sure about that. Just thinkin' about all the times I've spent curled up in his arms, what we've done, where we've done it… maybe I like it this way.
Anyways, I can …control people, against their will, or do I just strengthen their feelings for me? Am I controlling them? Or merely suggesting? Persuading? Regardless, it only works on guys. Tried on girls… got a few black eyes. The only-working-on-guys thing would pose a problem for me, especially with this girl-who-loves-my-boyfriend-who-loves-her-back problem, that I can do nothing about, unless I want to be electrocuted. It hurts like hell, but water is my friend, and the burns aren't that annoying. What's more annoying is when he shows off with those little tricks around me. Pisses me off. But my power's proven to be… useful. Never got bullied, always had friends, easy to get by Bennet,…oh, and it led me to him. All that's really important is that I have a mom who's more like my best friend who I love more than anything and she loves me back, a psycho-killer dad, who I hate, a seriously hot boyfriend… with baggage, and I can partially control guys. Hmm, take away the puppet-master father and the bitch, an' I got a pretty nice life.
…God, I hate Eric Doyle.