HERE IT IS LOVES, BRAND SPANKIN NEW KICKS FOR YOU ALL3 Hope you enjoy! Gonna post Chap 2 THIS WEDNESDAY, some feels for after you watch the new supernatural!

She has faced some pretty dark things in her lifetime. But she faced them without emotion and without the feeling. She was the most feared thing in heaven at one point, a weapon built for nothing but destruction alone. So how does she go from gods own personal nuke, a force to be reckoned with on your behalf, to standing in a built in gun range underneath a magical bunker trying to get a proper shot for about the 1200th time that week? Easy. She fell in love with the asshole who's been trying to teach her how to use the stupid gun.

" Ell, you're not even looking at the target." Dean said exasperated. He rubbed his temples again.

"Damn it yes I am!" She protested with a pout. Stupid fucking target. She's been aiming at that damn plus point for over an hour and already wasted 10 rounds. Dean sighed.

"Just leave it, we'll deal with it later. Let's take a break." He said. She frowned. No, she was going to shoot the fucking thing if it was the last goddamn thing she did.

" No not an option-" She said getting ready to aim again.

"Ellie, we've been at this all day. You're stressed out. You're not gonna get it." He begged.

" DEAN JUST LET ME DO IT OKAY?" She yelled turning to him, desperation written on her face. He clenched his jaw.

" Ellie, what's this about? You've been throwing fits all over the place this past week-"

" Whats this about? WHATS THIS ABOUT?!" She said angrily.

"YEAH ELLIE! WHATS THIS ABOUT? ITS LIKE YOUVE TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT ME EVERY 5 MINUTES!" He grabbed the gun from her and she stamped her foot. "What the hell is your problem lately?"

"MY PROBLEM. DEAN, IS THAT YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE GO OFF ON HUNTS EVERY OTHER DAMN DAY AND I'M STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PLACE BORED OUT OF MY GODDAMN MIND!" She grabbed the goggles off her face and threw them at the wall. Dean jumped at her outburst but his face fell.

" LISTEN I'M SORRY IT'S BOTHERING YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO STAY SAFE-"

"OH FUCK THAT DEAN. IT'S BEEN 5 MONTHS! I CAN DO THIS DAMN IT. NOW GIVE ME THE GUN BACK!" She roared, walking up into his face. He frowned.

"Ellie, I'm not taking you on a hunt if you can't even shoot a fucking gun-"

"EXACTLY SO I HAVE TO DO THIS DEAN! NOW GIVE ME THE DAMN THING BACK!" She was shaking with rage. Rage that had been set in her stomach for 5 long months. The first month of her being human was okay, she learned the basics like that she had to eat and sleep everyday and she had to remember it otherwise she'd get lightheaded and nauseous. Remembering to sleep was easy because as soon as Dean went to bed, he'd drag her with him. And laying in his arms was enough to relax her into a simple slumber. The urinating thing was kind of annoying but Cas said she'd get used to it.

But right now, right in this moment, she just wanted get out. 4 months in she started to feel it. She started to feel the odd downing mood of just wanting to lay in bed all day and not get out. She felt really lonely when the boys would take there hunting trips and Charlie would go off and do her cons and stuff. Sometimes she'd be alone for 2 weeks and sure dean would call or someone would call. But often she just layed in bed, curled around the blankets binge-watching whatever was on Netflix. It wasn't that she needed Dean to be with her 24/7. But she did need company. Everytime she tried to offer up her services she found herself useless. She went on one hunt with them that turned into her almost get her body sucked dry by a vampire. They used her as bait. Fucking bait. She used to be able to just stare at a vampire and they wanted to kill themselves. Now she was the damsel in distress? She was more than a little disgusted by it.

She wasn't sure what was causing her to feel so out of place around everyone. I mean they were her family after all. They loved her and cared for her. And hell even Crowley made his appearance a couple of times to check to see if his greatest 'asset' was still alive. But as everyone began to pack again for another hunt, she was feeling the abandonment. She figured it was her fault really, she was the one who encouraged Dean to start hunting again about a month after she got home. She saw the need in his eyes, and she wasn't going to stop something that he so clearly craved. But feeling this worthless was killing. And by killing she meant half physically as well. Her mood was completely deteriorated around everyone. She felt weak and fatigued every other hour. She put on her best fake smile but it only lasted so long. Because as soon as everyone left the bunker and she was alone, there were times she'd find herself tearing up and just staring blankly ahead of her, getting lost in thought.

Things like do they really need me? And what's my point of living anymore? And would they really care if I was gone? She knew those weren't normal thoughts. She knew something wasn't right. But then again, this was her first time as human. Maybe she those were normal things to contemplate.

" Ellie, just go relax. We'll pick It up in an a couple of hours." Dean said knocking her out of thought. She frowned at him and just walked upstairs. She promised to try and keep a smile on for the day, but it was failing miserably. So much for positivity. She bypassed Cas and Sam in the kitchen, not even bothering to acknowledge them and shot straight for her and Dean's room.

"She okay? What'd you do, dude?" Sam asked with a frown. Dean sighed and dropped the gun on the table, putting his head in his hands. "Hello earth to Dean."

"I just don't know what to do anymore." Dean said softly. Cas and Sam frowned.

"What do you mean?" Cas asked sitting across from him.

"Look at her, she's always angry or pissed about god knows what." He said looking up at them.

"Dean, she's adjusting to being a human." Cas said with a frown.

"Cas, you were a human once and you never were like that."

"Maybe it's 'cause you have her trapped here like a dog." Sam said handing Dean a beer. Dean narrowed his eyes at him.

"Excuse me?" He said, anger rising up in his throat.

" Dean, she hasn't left this bunker in like 4 months." Sam said rolling his eyes. " She's got cabin fever."

" I'm trying to protect her-"

"She was god's personal weapon at one point. She could literally flatten a continent with a snap of her finger and now she can't even leave the bunker. Do you even realize how traumatizing that is to her?" Sam said matter of factly. Dean frowned.

"Sam she almost died once, until she learns how to shoot a gun there ain't no way in hell I'm taking her on a hunt."

"Then expect her to be like that Dean. It was her first hunt a human, she did pretty well after we grabbed her. She took out 3 vamps." Sam sipped his drink before shrugging.

"Sam, I can't lose her."

" Then have patience man, you have to remember how hard this is for her too." With that he got up and walked out of the kitchen leaving Cas and Dean sitting there in in there thoughts.

"You gonna yell at me too?" he snapped at Cas. Cas raised an eyebrow.

" No, but Sam is right." Cas responded with a heavy sigh. " trust me Dean, this is just as hard for her as well."

"She can fight, Cas, but sometimes that's not enough y'know?" He frowned at his friend, who gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I understand, Dean. Just keep trying. You taught me how to hunt. You can definitely teach her." Cas said standing up and walking out.

Xxxx

Ellie sat in the library, flipping through some pages of a book on ghouls but not really paying attention. She couldn't bring herself to. Those thoughts were creeping into her mind again, and they were getting harder to block out.

"Hey what are you up to?" Dean said walking in and sitting on the table next to her. She looked down sadly. "Seriously the silent treatment what are we 12?" He said with a snort. That earned him a bit of a smile. She sighed and closed the book tossing it on the table. " Ghouls huh? Sammy rope you into doing his work?"

"At least it's something to do." She mumbled and dean immediately frowned at her.

"Ellie, what's up? Are you okay?" He stared at her under his long lashes.

"Yeah, Dean, just stir crazy." She said looking away.

"Hey look at me," He got off the table and put his finger under her chin making her look him in the eyes. She had to hold back tears because she just wanted to cry. Cry for days. She didn't even know why but she did. But staring at this man, this man that loves her so much... she couldn't bring herself to upset him. So she held them back with every fiber of her being. He put his hand on her cheek and she gave him a small smile. "Baby you're gonna be fine. You're gonna learn to shoot a gun and whip a knife around like a fuckin ninja." She laughed a little.

"Yeah, hows that gonna happen?" She said saddly.

" You're talking to a pretty damn good teacher that's how." He gave her a half smile before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. A familiar feeling of butterflies flew around her stomach and for the first time in awhile she smiled genuinely. " Hey what're those?" Dean said nodding towards a pile of records on the table.

"Oh uhm, I asked Charlie to get some new records- What are you doing?" Ellie asked curiously. Dean grabbed one of them and smiled to himself, flipping it over.

" You're a smokey robinson fan? Seriously?" He said sliding it out of the casing.

" I'm sorry does that offend you? Not everyone who was talented had a mullet and tight pants." She said snorting as he laughed. He placed the record on the player and put the needle down. Soon the song 'Ooo baby, baby' Started to play.

" God I love this song," He says quietly before smiling and turning to Ellie, " And if you tell Sam, I'll kill you. I know where you sleep." Ellie laughed and walked over to him.

"It's okay, your secret is safe with me. Besides, this is my favorite song by him so I can't even tease you in the slightest." She said as dean smirked at her. Slowly he wrapped his arm around her waist and slipped his left hand in hers. She looked at him oddly before he started to sway his hips back and forth.

"Seriously?" She said trying to hold back a laugh but he shushed her.

" Shush, Don't ruin the moment." He said pulling her closely and grinning down at her. She giggled and leaned up, kissing him gently. "You remember our first kiss?"

"Yeah, Crowley ruined it." She said rolling her eyes.

"Crowley ruins everything. Bastard." He muttered. "It was a pretty damn good kiss though."

"Oh really? I suppose I've learned a bit more since than." She said with a devilish grin. He leaned his forehead against hers.

" Oh you have, trust me. Your almost as evil as me now." He continued to sway them back and forth. It was relaxing and calming. Ellie felt something spark in her, it was a good warm feeling rising up from her chest.

" I learned from the best."

"It's kinda bad that I taught you to use sex as a weapon," He rested his head on her shoulder and she leaned against him, snaking her arms around his neck. He lowered both of his arms around her lower back, his nose burying in her shoulder.

"Yeah well, now I get what I want easily. Doesn't help you're a pushover for me." He chuckled and poked his fingers at her sides. She jumped and laughed.

" Yeah you're definitely my weak spot." He said as she felt his body tense around her. When the song ended she felt him pause. " I just wish I knew a way I could help you." She stopped and he looked up, once again leaning his forehead on hers. She ran a hand over his cheek and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Dean, it's okay. I'm fine." She heard him sigh and close his eyes. " I promise." He loved her so much. She had to be okay. For him. For Dean.

Xx

That night Ellie waited until she heard Dean's soft snores before slowly slipping out from under his arms. He looked so peaceful when he slept now, like just her being there erased his nightmares completely. She smiled at him before slipping on one of his t-shirts and flannel pants, and slowly sneaking out of the room. She walked through the kitchen and towards the basement stairs, praying no one was awake. When she reached the shooting range she closed the door and turned on the radio, because even though the room was sound proof as all hell, she'd rather not take a risk.

She grabbed the plastic glasses from the wall and picked up one of the guns from the case and loaded it. She remembered everything Dean had taught her, load it and lock it until she was ready to use it. She sang along to Hozier as she took of the safety and cocked the gun back. Dean's words echoed in her mind, elbow up aim for the kill shot. She let off a couple of rounds, smiling when she got one shot on the target.

"Nice shot." She jumped and almost dropped the gun, narrowing her eyes at Meg.

"Seriously? Make some fucking noise when you come walk in a room." She mumbled setting her gun on safety and putting it on the table. Meg snorted.

" I would but you wouldn't hear it with this crap you're blasting." Meg said lowering the radio.

"Is there something you need?"

"Yeah I came to see if you were in a less bitchier mood then this morning, but clearly not." Ellie shot her a glare, and meg raised her eyebrows. " You okay? You're sassier than usual." Ellie sighed.

"Yeah I'm fine," She said grabbing the gun again and loading it up. She cocked it back and took two shots, both straight in bullseye.

" I thought you said you sucked," Meg said surprised.

" I suck when Dean's watching, for some reason when he's not around I can shoot through every fucking plus sign on this thing." she said taking 2 more shots.

"Maybe you should just hunt on your own." Meg said watching the bullets fly. Ellie paused and looked over at her with a sly smile.

"You know what, maybe I should." She said putting the gun down. Meg shrugged and crossed her arms.

" Yeah I mean, you were a pretty badass angel. You can be a pretty bad ass hunter too." Meg egged her on. Ellie thought about it for a second, Meg's right she definitely can be. She knew hand to hand combat and when dean wasn't hovering over her in the shooting range, she easily got solid shots. But it wasn't right. Her and dean, they were a team or at least she thought of them as one sometimes.

"Listen Ell, I'm not trying to tell you to go out there and get your ass handed to you," Meg said with sigh. " But I think you'd be pretty good even without your wings." She gave meg a half smile.

" Yeah, now if I could only find the energy to do it." Ellie said quietly. Meg's eyes narrowed at her.

"What do you mean?" Ellie sighed leaning against the table, she rubbed at her face.

"Don't worry about it." She said looking up at her friend. Meg looked her over once more before nodding and walking towards the door.

"Go get some sleep, you look like shit." Meg said over her shoulder. Ellie laughed lightly. She wasn't exactly wrong. Ellie looked over at the target. 6 perfect shots. She could hunt if she wanted to. Hell she did want to but Dean would never let her. Sighing she packed up the gun and headed back to bed.