But one of many

by spaghetsaturday

Backstory to Momentum, what Shui thinks of her life.

I am but one of the marvelous beings in this world.

I am but one of the terrible creatures hiding from this world.

I accept society's wretchedness.

I do not accept society's warped image of mankind.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect.

But I, just like everyone, am a flawed being.

I am not perfect. Nor are you.

Being no one is not bad.

It just means you can't live up to the world's twisted ways.

That is not a bad thing.

I am a nobody.

And nobody is perfect.

I am but one of the hopeful dreamers, waiting for the legend to be reborn.

I am but one of the nightmarish evils, waiting for the story to come undone.

Sometimes I hope for a fresh new beginning, as the winding path makes a new turn.

Sometimes I just wish it could end.

Sometimes, I wish I had a kazoo.

Kazoos remind me of myself.

Easily broken. Shiny on the outside. Fun for a short while.

Then.

Boring, weird, useless. Nothing but a piece of junk. Old, stomped-on garbage.

Something borrowed.

Something old.

Something useless.

I am but one of many, hopeful for my past.

I am but one of the few, fearful of my future.

They say good choices take you many places.

Like Detroit.

But.

They never tell you if bad choices do anything, do they?

Sometimes.

I like to sit down.

With some ice cream.

And watch Netflix.

And reflect.

On.

All.

Of.

My.

Sins.

As I weep.

Tears of regret, hatred, and hurt.

Into a pillow.

In the welcoming darkness of my home.

I am but one of the regrets that this world has to offer.

I am but one of the evolutions this world has made.

I cannot live up to the revolutionary ideas of many.

But maybe I could start a revolution for many to look up to.

But.

Now.

I piece together the shards of my sanity.

Waiting for ambiguity, as my mind cracks apart.

The doubt threads through my mind -

A web of gossamer, like cactus spines -

Waiting til the end of time -

For me to come undone.

Something that I think about

While my mind is filled with doubt

Is that

I am one of the lucky ones

Though my life's laced with unluck.

Though.

Still.

I wait.

For.

The end.

To come.

Until.

My friends.

See me.

Undone.

And.

Instead of fear.

It is they.

Who came.

Rushing to my aid -

As a cloud of doubt rains -

Looming over me -

As I am but one speck of dust -

Floating in the multiverse.

Waiting for the gods to converse -

To free me of this treacherous curse -

I am but a single spot -

On this shining, sparkling world.

They come again.

They help me through.

(Still, I do not feel -

That I mean much to you.)

I can feel it on a spiritual level -

Though I may not mean much to them -

And I might come off as rude -

(Listen, really -

Just as friends -)

I love each and every one of them.

Still.

I feel like a kazoo.

Painfully gripped by fatality -

Waiting for the song to end -

Questioning my mortality -

Waiting for another friend -

Looking to the skies for hope -

Praying for my broken mind -

Waiting for insanity -

To finally tame my wretched kind -

This twisted immortality -

Not a blessing, but a plague -

As I wait for my mentality -

To finally just burn away.

Have you questioned your morality?

Seen what others wouldn't know?

Your mind impure, your thoughts unheard -

But still, you'd wish not for a fatal blow -

While still wanting it to come?

I am but one of the many

Hiding from the light.

Closing the drapes so it can't get in

Holding on to the night.

Damp and dark and in the rain

Splashing against my hooded head

Water gently laps at me

But I take no notice -

My mind is filled with dread.

If you take a single look at me

Look away.

I won't let you see

What has taken over me

Or what has become of me.

What will have overtaken me

By the time my time has come.

Nature is ruthless and unforgiving

The air is cold and brutal

Fire will wear away at you

If you get too close.

But water

It accepts you

And frees you from your words

From your chamber of lies

Helps you break free of it

As they buzz away like flies

Letting you sink into it

Telling you it's alright

Letting your tears mix with it

As you sob away your plight.

Sometimes I awake and feel

Not only am I refreshed

But my pillow's wet with my shed tears

And my mind is somewhat at rest.

For once

I am able to think

Clearly

As I am

Waiting for another chance

To prove

My loyalty

Once again.

A daily test of who I am

And who I am aligned with

If my alignment is at stake

If my inner torment seems

Maybe

A little too great

If I seem like I'm

In a different state

It's only

State

Of mind.

I am but one of millions

Waiting for another chance

I am but one of billions

Hoping I'm not in a trance

I am but one of trillions

Waiting for peace

I am but one

Of only one

That just wants to be set free.

I am but one of the dreamers

Looking towards a brighter path

I am but one of the hopeful

Hidden in the shadow's wrath.

I am but one of the billions

Open to whimsy and lore

I am but one of the scarce

Buried in a fiery core.

I am but one of the trillions

Hoping and dreaming

To stay

Just as

I am.