a/n So this is my first try at a Fanfiction! Woo! So, yeah there are a couple mistakes and I guess I really love run on sentences :/ sorry! So feel free to comment and correct me! I won't mind. Honest! So I love anybody who's even reading this. Muwhahh! :* anyway as you may have gathered from the summary it's a Friends self-inset only, it's not really me, just a fictional person. I love, love, love Chandler so I felt the need to write this because I never really liked him and Monica. I know, I know. It's wrong but yeah, never liked her. So I made up this story where Chandler falls back in love with an old flame. I really hope you like! Read and review please! xoxo. Also, I do not own any part of Friends, but I wish I did ;)

Chandler sauntered into the familiar purple apartment exhausted and relinquished. The trip to London had been purely chaotic, between Ross saying the wrong name at his damn wedding, Emily vanishing (who could blame her?), and his own little secret between himself and his new girlfriend (?) Monica. Yes. Monica. It was a wild night and now they couldn't keep their hands off each other. And as much as he loved every moment of it he wasn't sure if it was exactly what he wanted. He knew it was a terrible thought but he couldn't help it. When it came to relationships he had always a habit of doubting things.

"Hey there." he turned around to see where the voice came from, but he had already known, it was Monica.

"Do you think we should talk about this?" he asked her nervously.

"Yes. Absolutely, but I'm exhausted from the trip. I really just need to relax and think about things. Can we talk tomorrow?" he smiled at her.

"Sure thing, Mon" he leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. She smiled and went off to her room. He knew he should go to his own apartment and take a nap but everything about the kitchen was inviting, especially with the potential of chocolate milk. He rummaged through the fridge excited for the chocolaty cold drink. Maybe it would revive him.

She stared down the building. She knew this whole thing was foolish. With her luck he would have moved out years ago. It had taken a better part of a month to even find the address let alone work up the courage to travel across 3 states, including her own, just to see him again. What if he was married? What if he had children?

That's okay. She assured herself. She only wanted to visit. And if luck was on her side, then she'll see where she can take things.

She sighed and opened the door to the apartment complex. She walked up all the narrow stairs till she reached his floor. She walked a little bit down the hallway and was met by a fairly attractive man.

"How you doin'?" he asked her smiling. She stifled a giggle.

"Hi, I'm Rory. Do you know if there's a Chandler Bing around here?"

"Oh! Hi. I'm Joey, Chandler's friend. I think he's in the apartment right there," he pointed to a cute purple door, "but if he's not there, he's in our apartment right there," he pointed to a blah, green door. She was thankful it appeared he was still living a bachelor life, "but try that apartment first."

"Okay. Thanks Joey." he smiled and turned to walk into his own apartment. She took a long deep breath and raised her hand to knock the door

Let's hope this was worth it.

She hesitated for a moment and in a brief second of fearlessness, she knocked.

She heard footsteps coming towards the door.

"Why are you knocking Joe? Rach didn't lock the..."

He stopped when he opened the door and saw her standing there, waiting for him.

"Rory" he breathed. "Why are you here?"

She hesitated but all the signs pointed towards it being okay to reveal her actual reasoning.

"I needed to see you." she was going to elaborate further but she was cut off by Chandler's lips against hers. Nothing has ever felt so right for such a long time. She gave into the kiss.

"I missed you so much" he whispered to her.

She had missed him too. The longing to see him again had become so out of control that's why she dedicated herself to find him and drive from Rhode Island to New York for him. She loved him. And she still did. Since 8th grade. Through high school. Till college, when they decided to go separate ways. Until now they hadn't spoken in years and she hadn't noticed until recently that it had been the worst decision of their young lives. Him holding her in the middle of the hallway now reminded her of how much she loved him and how much she regretted those years apart.

They were lying in his bed just staring at each other. Nothing had happened they just laid there and talked about the past few years together. They talked in hushed tones, smiles never left their faces. He would reach out and smooth her hair, and place a piece behind her ear whenever she would talk. She would watch him carefully when he spoke to her memorizing all his features and the way he got distracted whenever his stare wandered back to her eyes.

But no matter how in love they still were there was the issue of Monica. He had told her all about London. It sounded like a crazy trip, something nobody should experience. He still had yet to talk to Monica, and that worried her. She wanted to be back in Chandler's life and as greedy as it sounded, she just could not be one of his friends. She had to have all of him or none. She came too far and worked too hard to be hurt like that and he knew it. And judging by the way he looked at her now, unable to stop smiling as he poured the coffee and spilled it all over himself, she almost knew she would get her wish.

She sat at the lone stool on the mini Breakfast bar while Chandler stood on the other side smiling and staring while he sipped his coffee. Mid-sip there was a delicate knock at the door. Rory's heart lept in her throat as Chandler's eyes shot from the morning paper to hers. He looked almost panicked. He slugged towards the door and looked at her before opening it.

Monica stood there in the hallway smiling awkwardly with a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Ah... uh... Come in. Want hot black liquid...uh...coff...coffee, coffee!" he could nearly hit himself as he heard the words roll off his tongue. He was not good with uncomfortable situations like this.

"Sure... Is there something wrong?" she walked into the apartment and her eyes met Rory's. He looked past Monica at her and they made eye contact she did her best not to panic. She was too similar to him.

"Uh, hi. Rory. I'm Rory. Chandler's uh friend."

"Oh. Hi, I'm Monica." Chandler handed her a cup of coffee,

"Mon, would you rather talk in your apartment?"

"Yeah, that'd be great" she mumbled, barely able to take her eyes off the woman in her man's apartment.

The door slammed behind him loudly as they walked into Monica's apartment.

"Who the hell was that Chandler!" she near shouted at him

"Rory. Do you remember her? I dated her for five years and we broke up because she moved to..."

"I don't care why you broke up. I don't care period! Why is she here?"

"She came to find me. She wanted to see me again."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"What?"

"Last night. Did you, sleep, with her?"

"No. We did not have sex, but she did sleep with me."

She stayed silent for a long time looking at the floor and not able to make eye contact, she whispered just loud enough for him to hear,

"Do you love her?" He paused

"More than anything." He whispered back disappointed in himself. She nodded her head as tears slid down her face. She looked up at him, eyes full of tears,

"That's what matters most right?" she said trying not to choke on tears.

"Monica, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be. She said staring at the floor. I mean, it's not like we loved each other or anything right? We were just fooling around."

"Monica..."

"No. It's fine. Really." He pulled her in for a hug anyway and held her close and tight. He could feel her crying against his chest and he tried to ignore the guilty pang in his stomach. He held her till she pushed him away, promising she'd be okay. And she really would. She wasn't even entirely sure why she'd been crying. It could be the sting of rejection but it would pass, she really didn't have many feelings for Chandler up until a few days ago and they would probably pass within a few more days. She would be fine. She promised him. A promise she was determined to keep.

Thanks for reading! XOXO Next chapter will be up soon! I really hope you liked it!